Chapter Fifteen #3
Maddie must’ve already been on her way to the hospital, because it wasn’t long before Oberi returned with Ava’s aunt in tow. Maddie entered the room with such grace, as if she had no concern in the world.
I wondered if my son would be the same— moving life knowing that he could see the future, but not change the outcome. It was a monumental responsibility, and a great curse… one I wasn’t sure I wished upon anyone, let alone my own child.
“Maddie,” I said when she entered the room. I still hadn’t moved from the incubator, my fingers stroking my son’s head.
“You summoned me before anyone else, which in my opinion, can only mean one thing. Your son is a naderei,” Maddie stated simply.
“It appears so,” I replied. “I need to know what this means. The Warden has already won. I thought this was all over, but the gods send prophets when they’re needed, don’t they?”
“Yes,” Maddie said gently. “If your child is truly a naderei, then this gives us hope. It means the gods are preparing for something even bigger than the Warden, a turn of events that will be incredibly relevant in your son’s time, when he comes of age.”
Tears leaked from my eyes. “We can’t handle the Warden. How are we going to handle something even bigger than him?”
“You won’t. But your child will,” Maddie explained.
“He’s just a baby,” I protested. “I don’t want him anywhere near the Warden.”
“You’re misunderstanding,” Maddie said. “This fight with the Warden is yours, not your child’s.
But your son won’t be a child forever. He will grow up to fight his own battles, and whatever he will face when the time comes will be something we can’t foresee yet.
But this means the gods anticipate a future— one that they are already preparing for. ”
I furrowed my brow. “So this is a sign we’ll win against the Warden? How?”
“Perhaps we won’t win, but your son’s birth is a sign the world will live on.
Nothing is for certain, not even naderei visions,” Maddie said.
“But if the gods are preparing for something new, then it means they see a way out of our current struggles, even if we can’t see it ourselves.
It means there’s a chance we could win, but the fight isn’t over yet.
Your child isn’t promised a future, but the gods are promising him— promising all of us— a shot at a better life. ”
One last shot. It seemed impossible to believe, after my friends and I had fucked so much of this up.
I shook my head. “We’re out of options. There’s nothing we can do but sit around and hope the Warden leaves us alone.”
“Even as a naderei, I can’t promise you the future. But what I can tell you is that as long as you have something to fight for, you stand a chance. Ava just gave you the best reason to keep fighting.”
My son shifted against my touch. Though he couldn’t understand what we were saying, maybe it was like Liam had said and he could feel it. It was like he was confirming everything Maddie was saying. Deep within, I knew this child had appeared in our lives at the right time for a reason.
I’d given up before. I’d lost everything— my family, the Divinity Keys, my hope. I’d been ready to lay belly-up and let the Warden take us.
But the gods weren’t willing to go down without a fight, and so, they’d sent me something worth fighting for. For so long, I’d fought to create a better world for Ava and I. If Ava didn’t want me fighting for her anymore, I understood.
Yet I had a renewed sense of purpose, and a reason to fight— my son. He was born with the opportunity to have a better life than I’d had. It was my job as his dad to give him that future.
“The gods must have really big plans for him,” I noted.
“He shouldn’t even exist. At the Institute, Professor Mazur taught us that demigods are supposed to be infertile, and even if they do have children, those kids can’t be magical.
I don’t know how he was born in the first place, let alone with the powers of a naderei. ”
“The supernatural world does not always abide by its own rules,” Maddie replied.
“Not that long ago, the Hawkei believed interhouse children would be weak, and clearly that’s not the case.
This could be a fabricated lie to keep demigods from breeding because people are afraid of how powerful their children could become, or merely a misconception, because there haven’t been enough demigods throughout history who gave birth to magical children.
It might be the case that some children of demigods are not magical, but that's not the case here. The gods specifically chose Casey."
“It’s going to be hard for him, isn’t it?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“Being a naderei is guaranteed to be a difficult journey,” Maddie confirmed.
“It is a long, painful road, full of much sadness. No one can quite understand the difficulties of being a prophet and carrying the burdens of the future but a prophet themselves. But just because the road is winding does not mean it is not worth traveling. I promise to be here every step of the way, to help raise your child and teach him how to control his powers. That is, if you and Ava wish for my help.”
I was almost too quick to respond with an enthusiastic yes, but when she spoke Ava’s name, something within me retreated.
This decision wasn’t mine alone. Ava and I weren’t together, but we were still this child’s parents, and we were going to have to make these decisions as a unit.
No matter what our relationship status was, I wouldn’t take any choices from her.
That didn’t mean I wouldn’t stop fighting for my son in the meantime, doing whatever I thought was best for him. Right now, he needed his dad to keep going, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.
“Thank you,” I told Maddie. “Ava and I will reach out when we’re ready for more guidance.”
“Of course,” Maddie replied. “I’ll be here whenever you and Ava are ready.”
I withdrew my hands from the incubator, though it nearly ripped me apart to do. “Will you stay behind with Oberi to keep an eye on him? I’ll be back soon.”
“Of course. It is my duty to safeguard the next prophet,” she said. “He will have a great destiny.”
Those words yet again. Great destiny. They sickened me.
It took everything within me to drag myself away from my kid and into the hall. I ordered Eldin not to allow anyone into the room but myself, Maddie, or my Familiar, then I drew a deep breath and started back to Ava’s hospital room.
How was I going to do this? It’d been easy to talk to her when she was in the middle of labor, fighting to get this baby out, but now we were through that and the distance between us had come racing back.
This was worse than awkward— it was tremendously heartbreaking.
I didn’t think this baby would bring us closer together, but push us farther apart.
I wouldn’t know unless I tried. I waited outside the door for a few seconds, gathering the courage to face her. Then I lightly knocked on the wood.
“Come in,” a blunt voice called— though it wasn’t Ava’s.
I pushed the door open and stepped into the room, where the atmosphere was chilling. I sensed a powerful surge of fae magic as Kallie leapt to her feet, planting herself firmly between me and Ava’s hospital bed.
“I just want to talk,” I said weakly. Ancestors, she had to hate me right now.
Kallie huffed. “Your time for talking is done. You need to leave.”
“It’s okay, Kallie,” Ava told her, and hell, she sounded more fragile than she ever had. “Can you give us a minute?”
Kallie hesitated, then started for the door. “One minute,” she warned me. “That’s all you get.”
She shoved her shoulder into mine on the way out, practically slamming the door behind her.
I turned to Ava, not really sure where to start. “How are you doing?” I finally asked, and immediately regretted it. Ava couldn’t be doing well. I knew that.
“I’m fine,” she answered. Her tone was hard to read.
“Do you want to meet him?” I asked. “He’s—”
“No,” Ava said hollowly.
Her blunt response shocked me. She didn’t care to see him… at all? How could she feel that way? She didn’t understand yet that he was the most special thing in the entire world. Once she saw him, I just knew she’d fall in love like I had… right?
Despite how stunned I was, I didn’t let it show. “I’m here to help in any way I can. I want to be his dad, and be involved. I’ll do anything you need me to do.”
Ava scoffed. “I didn’t want any of this. I wanted a clean break. Now I’ll never get one.”
My heart ached. She’d wanted to cut and run, to get away from me and leave me behind her.
She desired a new life where I wasn’t in it, so she could forget about me.
Now there would always be something tying us together, and we’d never heal.
I’d made this so much worse on us. “We don’t have to figure it out right now.
I just thought you should know… he’s a naderei. ”
I didn’t expect Ava to jump for joy or claim all hope was restored, but I expected some sort of reaction. Instead, the only reply Ava gave was an empty, “Oh.”
I had no idea what she was feeling, or how to help. Without our bond tugging me one way or the other, it was impossible to feel her. She was right here in front of me, yet she might as well be on the other side of the ocean.
“If you don’t want him, I’ll take him,” I offered. “I know you didn’t ask for this. No one’s going to make you be a mom when you don’t want to be. I’m fine with being a single parent. Really. If you want your clean break, it’s the least I could give you. I’ll take the baby, and you can move on.”
“I could never move on from you.” The words weren’t affectionate, but cold. She spoke them as if they were a life sentence she couldn’t escape from.
An unending silence followed, as if Ava had vanished on the spot. It was like she was refusing to answer me.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” I added. “I just want you to know it’s an option—”