Chapter Nineteen #2
“I’ve done that for three fucking years, and where has it gotten us? Nowhere! What more do you want from me!?”
“I want you to fight for me as hard as you’re fighting for Casey!” Ava screamed, her voice echoing off the walls of the training center.
The room faded to silence, and all conscious thought halted with it.
Never did I think Ava actually wanted me to fight for her— not in this reality, and not the next.
Since she’d served me those papers, I’d been waiting around for her to tell me where to sign them, because I thought, above all else, she wanted to be done with me.
But then Hemlock died, we lost the Divinity Keys, and Casey came along all in a short amount of time. I figured the papers were inevitable, we just hadn’t gotten around to actually signing them.
When she asked me to fight for her, I realized the truth I’d been too blind to see. Ava didn’t want to sign those papers to be done with me… all she wanted was to be done with this— this fighting, this bickering, this broken love.
But maybe it didn’t have to die at the end of a pen. Maybe we could end this without ending us.
To be given the opportunity to try again made me want to fall at her feet and give her everything she’d ever desired.
The devil himself knew I didn’t deserve another chance, but by all the gods in all the pantheons, Ava-Marie was offering me this incredible opportunity I never could’ve dreamed would be granted.
I couldn’t fumble this, for it was such a precious gift to be able to serve her, to become a better man and try again.
“I— I didn’t know you wanted to stay together,” I stammered.
“I want to. I just can’t anymore,” Ava said softly. “Charlie, this thing between us is killing me. But if you put in the work and prove to me there’s still something to fight for between us, then I’ll give this one last shot.”
Her voice developed a hard edge. “But you have to be willing to get uncomfortable. You can’t shut down again, and you can’t give up.
This is it, Charlie. No more chances. You either go to marriage counseling, or we’re done.
If you say no, I’ll go get the paperwork and we’ll sign it right here, right now. ”
My world had been shifted on its head once again. I never imagined Ava and I would get another chance. I thought all opportunities to fix our marriage were over. But here we were, Ava begging me to try one last time. It was more than I could ask for.
But I’d been burned before, and I worried that the wrong therapist— someone like Jaymin— would make things worse. What’s more, I’d already hurt Ava too much. I feared what might come out in therapy would hurt her beyond repair.
“I want to try,” I finally said. “But I can’t risk hurting us any more than I already have.”
“You can’t hurt us more than you already have,” Ava said. “Go ahead and ruin me, but at least be honest while you’re doing it. That will hurt a whole lot less than you hiding your feelings and doing shit behind my back.”
“If you want me to agree to this, you have to cut me a deal,” I said flatly. “You can’t go off the wall and do scary shit based on whatever I say. You have to control your reactions so I don’t have to worry you’ll try to burn the palace down if I piss you off.”
“Fine. Done,” Ava stated simply. “I promise I won’t act like a lunatic.”
“That’s not—”
“I know what you meant.” Ava’s tone was dry. “I solemnly swear I won’t resort to violence, erratic behavior, or drastic measures no matter what comes out of your mouth.”
Here’s hoping. I sighed. “I don’t even know who we could talk to. Who’s equipped to handle this kind of mess?”
This wasn’t just saving a marriage now. This had turned into a custody battle along the way, and those were the ugliest types of situations there were.
Casey wasn’t a rag doll meant to be yanked back and forth between us until he was torn to shreds.
We had to sort this out, but we couldn’t do it without help.
I didn’t know a single person who’d be willing to get in the middle of two crazies— because that’s what we were— fighting over a baby.
“You two aren’t alone,” Sophia cut in. “In our tribe, the elders mentor the newlywed couples, guiding them through early marriage life. Liam and I have experience in this area. If you don’t want to talk to someone you don’t know, you can talk to us.
Liam and I will give you marriage counseling in the tradition of our ancestral teachings as an alternative to modern counseling. ”
That was almost worse, because there were things Ava’s parents didn’t need to know about us— things I was certain they didn’t want to know. After all, these were Ava’s parents. This wasn’t a balanced situation, because when the worst came up, they’d take her side.
Neither Ava nor I said anything, and we hesitated a moment too long.
Liam gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “For fuck’s sake.
I’m making an executive decision, because ancestors know nobody here can make up their fucking mind.
Sophia and I are mentoring the pair of you.
Your counseling starts now— separately, to start, because you two can’t be in the same room without melting down into dramatics. Charlie, you’re with me.”
Liam grabbed me by the arm, digging his fingers in until it hurt, and dragged me out of the training center.
I shoved him off in the hall. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Saving your marriage, because you sure as hell aren’t going to step up and do it,” Liam snarled.
“Believe me, there’s no one who wants Ava to leave your ass more than I do, but she told me she wants to keep trying, and for as much as I can’t believe I’m saying this, I don’t want to give up on you, either. ”
“I don’t know why,” I spat back. “Being Ava’s husband is the best thing in the world, but she was clear she doesn’t want that anymore. She’s the one who served me those papers, so I was just giving her what she wanted. If that’s the last way I can make her happy, then it’s worth a shot!”
“You two splitting up isn’t going to make her happy. It’s going to make her miserable, as well as the rest of us, because she’s not going to pull herself out of this pit of despair until this is resolved. She’ll drag the rest of us down with her.”
I shook my head. “Maybe we can learn to work together, but it feels like our marriage is already done. We can get divorced and still co-parent. We can be civil with each other.”
Liam snorted. “Yeah. Because you and Ava have always been civil, rational, level-headed people, who don’t make your problems everyone else’s issue. Oh, wait. That’s why I’m here.”
“I don’t know why you’re helping me. I’ve done just fine on my own all my life. I don’t have a problem taking care of myself, and I can take care of my son now that he’s here,” I demanded.
“Charlie, you aren’t listening to her, and that’s the problem. You’re taking the easy way out and only hearing what you want to hear.”
Tears stung my eyes, because how could he say that? “I’m not taking the easy way out! This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done! I’m doing what she asked, which is all I’ve ever wanted to do! She’s the one who wanted the divorce, and dragging this out only hurts both of us!”
“You don’t want to hurt her anymore, but you giving up and not trying is what’s hurting her the most, because it shows her you don’t give a shit,” Liam said bluntly. “Ava flat-out told me she doesn’t want a divorce. She doesn't want to leave you, she just doesn’t see another way out.”
His words turned me to a statue, one that gaped like a stupid fish.
I thought I might be stuck that way forever, because the revelation seemed to cause time itself to stand still.
Ava-Marie had flat out told me she wanted me to fight for her, but fighting for her and trying to convince her to stay with me was entirely different from the fact that she’d already made her choice.
Ava didn’t want a divorce.
By fuck, no wonder we couldn’t work together and find a way forward. I’d always given Ava everything she wanted, and I was delighted to do so. If she didn’t want to sign those papers, then no force on earth or the heavens could make us go through with it.
But at the same time, it didn’t seem real to hope for such a thing. “I’m not sure I can believe that unless I hear it from her mouth, and she’ll never say that to me.”
“Well, too bad, because you’ll have to hear it second hand from me,” Liam stated.
He went on, his voice becoming encouraging.
“It’s up to you to give her another way out of this.
The only way to do that is by getting uncomfortable.
The one option left is to change your behavior, because I’d want to leave you too if you kept this up. ”
“How do I convince her to stay?” I asked.
Liam laughed. “Oh, your job right now isn’t to convince her. You’re going to have to convince me. Otherwise, I’m rescinding my blessing and telling her to leave you behind while I throw you in the ocean and watch you sink to the bottom.”
I didn’t think it would work. Ava was so indecisive she’d jump in after me and yell at her dad for letting me drown, just to change her mind a few seconds later and laugh as the waves dragged me under.
I bristled. “What do you want me to do?”
Liam paused before he said, “I think I know just the thing. Follow me.”
Ava’s father led me out of the palace and into a wide courtyard. The air was far too cold for a March day in the Mediterranean, and although I wore a sweater to keep myself warm, I shivered. Snowflakes drifted down from the sky and landed on the end of my nose.