Chapter Twenty-Five #3
“The shirts have open backs that you can put on from the front, then button up behind you,” Kallie explained.
“The pants have an elastic waist, but the legs themselves are open, with magnetic clasps, buttons or zippers on the sides so it’s easy to fasten them to your body instead of having to pull them on.
A lot of the dresses are wraps, which are easy to tie around your torso.
Plus, all of this stuff is hidden in the seams, so no one is going to be able to tell the difference between these outfits or a regular piece of clothing.
They’re made specifically for the comfort of people who have chronic pain, or those who are wheelchair users. ”
This was perfect. With these clothes, Ava didn’t need help getting dressed. She could do it all by herself, with full autonomy. That’s all she ever really wanted.
My fingers skimmed along a dress that was in Ava’s size. I ran my fingers over the cotton fabric and knew this one would work.
I took it off the rack and showed Kallie. “How’s this one?”
“It’s pink! That’s perfect!” Kallie raved. “Get two. There’s another option in floral. Finally, something this picky bitch will wear.”
We managed to find a few more options, a couple of pants and shirts, before Kallie gave a devious snicker.
“Ooh. I found a couple of adaptive panties that she’ll like,” Kallie teased, nudging me. “These adorable buttons on the side will be great for easy access.”
“She’s not gonna let me take them off her,” I said, though I smirked all the same.
“I’ll let her be the judge of that.” Kallie reached past me to yank something lacy over my hands.
I stiffened. “What is that?”
“You know what it is! It’s lingerie!” Kallie cheered. “It’s got the cutest little hearts on the nipples. And it’s simple to take off!”
“Come on, Kallie.”
“I’m getting it. It’s not for you, it’s for her.” Kallie dropped it in the basket, and I let her do it.
Ava loved lingerie, because it made her feel sexy, and I loved it on her.
I was all for making it easier for us to take this stuff off, because usually I had to rip it off of her and ruin the garment, but I doubted I’d ever get that chance again.
She wouldn’t let me go anywhere near her wearing it.
But if it made her feel beautiful, it was well worth the purchase.
I spent almost every penny I had purchasing enough clothes to fill several drawers in our dresser.
It still wasn’t enough, but it would get Ava started.
I’d been right and the clothes had been expensive, but I didn’t bat an eye at the price.
She needed things, I provided them for her, simple as that.
We visited several more shops to gather various essentials for Ava-Marie, things like soap, lotion, perfume, makeup, and shoes for various occasions. By the time we were done, I didn’t have a coin to my name.
But I had a new beginning for us. And that’s all we really needed.
Before we left the mall, Oberi spent half an hour looking at hats before I managed to drag him away and convince him we were here for Ava, reminding him he still had a full hat collection in the Ladies’ Court.
But all those hats look best in my unicorn form, which I can’t take anymore, Oberi grumbled. I want a fedora for my doggie form! I’d look spiffy!
“Spiff this.” I bopped him lightly on the nose, and he barked at me.
We’d purchased a lot of stuff, but overall, didn’t have many bags. It was going to take a lot of work to fill Ava’s closet.
“We should get back to the palace,” I said, already turning that way. Kallie grabbed me by my collar to hold me back.
“Hold on,” Kallie said. “I want to take you somewhere. My treat.”
“Take me?”
“Yeah, dickhead. Let’s go.”
Nobody had offered to take me anywhere in a long time, but I didn’t object.
I let Kallie lead me out of the mall, and we walked a few blocks before we ducked into a restaurant, one that was loud with cheering.
I heard grunts over the music and the smacking sound of gloves hitting against flesh.
I smelled leather, and heard a bell ring out as men applauded loudly.
“It’s a boxing bar,” Kallie called over the noise. “You can watch live fights as you eat.”
That sounded amazing. My blood was already pumping, but I didn’t understand why Kallie had shown me this place.
We got a high-top table near the back that was pretty secluded from the rest of the restaurant, away from the ring so we could hear each other talk.
The waitress brought us a few waters. My fingers skimmed over the braille menu to read what was available, but I couldn’t process the words.
I was still trying to figure out why we were here.
When the waitress returned, I placed an order for a burger, because it was the easiest thing to get, while Kallie insisted she was splitting her stack of nachos with me.
“Bro, eat.” She pushed a plate toward me stubbornly. “You have to try the mozzarella sticks. They’re amazing.”
I sighed, doing what she said. They really did taste good, but I felt like shit enjoying myself while Ava was busting her ass in that camp.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Kallie said. “Ava wants to be down there. This is her choice. You need to be okay with letting her make the best decisions for her, even if they’re tough to swallow.”
I tossed a fry down to Oberi, who gobbled it up immediately. “I’m trying. But it’s hard not to feel guilty that I’m relaxing, and she’s doing all this work.”
“You have to take care of yourself, so you can be ready to take care of her. And you’d better enjoy what meals you can, before the city runs out of food and the world starves due to all the famine the Warden’s causing.”
Food rationing was imminent in the city.
We were going to have to start limiting the amount of food people got to make our supplies stretch within the next few weeks, but I wasn’t here to talk, or think, about that.
I’d dealt with food insecurity before, and though I hated it, I was used to it.
I’d do it again, as long as Casey and Ava got fed.
“This is neat. But why did you bring me here?” I asked.
“This is one of my favorite places in Ilamanthe. I come here all the time to watch sports games. Not even Marcus knows about it. I was saving it.”
“Really.” I sat back against my seat, surprised. “For who?”
“For you, dummy.” Kallie kicked at my shoe.
“For me?” I couldn’t help but gape. “Why?”
Kallie emitted a frustrated sigh. “Because… because I wanted to take you here. Just us. This isn’t really Marcus or Ava’s scene, but I knew you’d be into it. I was going to surprise you for your birthday. Before… everything happened.”
My abdomen clenched. “There was a point when we hung out like this all the time. We used to be pals.”
“Used to be. Marcus and Ava had their thing going on, but we had ours. And I miss that.”
I found my throat getting tight again. “Me, too.”
“A lot of our friends wanted to stop talking to you after the coup, because they all thought you were an asshole. But I’m an asshole, too.
So maybe I understood you better than the others.
” Kallie’s voice drifted off, talking to herself more than me.
“Maybe I wasn’t pissed off that you tried to take over Ilamanthe.
Maybe I was pissed off that you didn’t ask me to help you.
That’s the hardest thing of all to understand, because I would’ve been there with you.
Instead, you shut me out. Like our friendship didn’t even matter. ”
“You shouldn't care about me. Not after what I did.”
“Don’t tell me how to feel.” Kallie’s hand slammed into the table. “You don’t get to say if I do or don’t give a damn about you.”
I pressed a hand to my mouth, before I rasped, “Kallie… I was going to leave you behind.”
The noise of the bar was all that could be heard for a moment before she replied, “I know.”
I failed to grasp her words. “What?”
“I’m saying I know, Charlie. The Dollmaker nearly killed me, and I got in the way of your plan. You were going to let me die in that alleyway so you had enough time to go after the vampire key. Nobody told me, but I know you. I’ve always known.”
I was shaking. “Why do you still want to be friends with me if you know that’s what I wanted to do?”
“I don’t know why I feel the way I do. I wish I did. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of watching people give up on you, and never give you a second chance. I have to be the one to reach out so we can repair our friendship. Even if I’m one of the people you hurt the most.”
Her capacity for mercy was undeniable. The fae didn’t forgive easily. They held grudges and thrived on resentment.
Yet Kallie had turned the other cheek, even when I’d struck her hard. I wasn’t worthy of having her in my corner, but she’d shown up anyway, time and again.
“I’m so sorry, Kallie.” I rested my head on the table. “I was such a selfish, stupid bastard.”
“You can be a bastard,” she admitted, and she reached out to take my hands.
“But that’s not who you are deep down. I’ve always hoped for the good in you, even if your darkness overshadows that light.
I keep seeing that light beam out more and more in little ways.
You took blows for Ava that were meant for her.
We can find a way through this, all of us, no matter how bad things get.
Us Institute kids are indestructible when we stick together. ”
Kallie gave a shudder. “But you have to promise not to shut me out again. Ever. I’ve lost a lot of friends in my life. Good people. But I don’t want to lose you.”
I nodded, grasping her hands back. “I don’t want to lose you either, Kallie. And I swear, I’m in this with the rest of you. Until he’s done, or we are.”
“Good.” Kallie let go, then reached out to pet Oberi on the top of the head. “Now eat up. You look like you just faced death.”
“Well, I did.” I gave a hoarse laugh.