Chapter 31 #2
Get this done. “If I’m given an opportunity to take out Ian, I’ll take it,” I told him, voice steady, rising. Certain. “I won’t hesitate, even though you are tied to him.”
Again, no new chain.
With eyes like open wounds, Jasher tried again. “I will kill Ian for me.”
The brightest sparks of all. A shackle materialized around his right ankle. More strength flooded my veins. I felt no triumph, only sadness. “You won’t. But I will. If you haven’t found a way to sever your life from his by the time I end his life, I’ll end yours, too.”
His gaze begged me to stop this, to take a chance on him. On us. “It doesn’t have to be this way. I’m not lying to you. But Ian, he’s still in here.” He slammed a fist against his sternum. “We’re still tied together, his intentions mine.”
A collar formed around his throat, his head bowing beneath its weight, his spine curving as if the truth itself had crushed him. He dropped to his knees, forced to bear the weight of his own words.
The chains vanished from me, truth satisfied, punishment complete. But it wasn’t a victory I savored. Too much guilt. Too much sorrow.
“Apparently, it does have to be this way,” I said, ready to cry.
I should kill him now. End his hold on me once and for all.
But I didn’t cry, and I didn’t act against him.
Determination filled every hollow space within me and oh, there were far more than usual.
“The next time we meet, I’ll be ready.” I wouldn’t feel raw and empty.
Broken. “I’ll do whatever is necessary.” Crystallize the monstra?
In a heartbeat. “Prepare yourself. The monstra reign of terror has reached its end.”
No new cuff appeared on me, and he threw back his head, roaring.
I looked away, unable to face him. Around us, the flames whooshed, snuffing out.
Legs trembling, I stepped from the dais. He attempted to follow; I heard his struggle. But he gained no ground, remaining stuck in his chains.
A sob rushed up in my throat.
One breath, I stood in the cathedral, on the dais, the air heavy with ash and endings. The next, I used my powers as a water maiden to pass through water. There might be only a trace of moisture, but it did the job. I landed back in the cavern where I’d danced within the mist.
“Now you know all,” a familiar voice declared. “Well, almost all. I’m glad.”
That voice turned me faster than instinct. Elowen lounged at the far wall, poised like a painting brought to life, resplendent in a sheer red gown.
I shoved the thought of Jasher and his pain—my pain—into a hidden corner.
“Hello, Elowen.” The sight of her affected me in ways it never had before. From the beginning, I’d felt a connection to her. Here, now, the bond we’d shared poured from memory after memory, a tether I prized.
“Hmm.” She didn’t even glance in my direction. “Is that affection I hear in your voice? Honestly, I expected wrath. Perhaps a sprinkle of hatred.”
Wrath? Yeah. I experienced that, too. Hands fisted, I snapped, “You threw me to the wolves this go-round, when you led me into Hakeldama, unprepared.”
“To the wolves, yes, but you have emerged as leader of the pack.” She smiled at me, but it was a little sad. “You’re welcome, sister mine.”
As I scowled, she extended her arm, palm cupped, holding bits of fruit meant for—I jerked. Two baby pegacorns peeked from the shadows to snatch the food from her hand.
My eyes widened. They had the exact same coloring as Skyprancer and Starflight. “Are they…?”
“Children of your pegacorns? No. They are your pegacorns. Those that sacrifice their lives for their riders do not die. They simply start over. Though they don’t know it. They can remember everything, it seems, but that.”
A problem we had in common. “You and I…we fought more times than we worked together.”
“Yes.” She gave the babies the last of the treats, then shooed them off. With a curious glance in my direction, the adorable pair flew from the cave. “That’s why I stayed away after the first hundred loops.” Her voice thickened. “Even when we warred, it hurt too much to lose you again.”
The space behind my ribs collapsed. I’d had things bad, yes, but she’d had things worse. Unlike me, she’d relived all the pain and all the deaths while I forgot them. But every time, she’d done what she thought was right.
As Jasher did?
I worked my jaw. “I forgive you, Elowen.” If this were our last opportunity to win, we better not waste it.
Surprise parted her lips, her scars pulling taut.
I snorted, pleased by her reaction. “Are you telling me Her Supreme Greatness of the Sea didn’t see this coming?”
“I am.” Regret tinged her words. “I hurt you. He hurt you. Even now, your eyes are like wounds.”
The perfect description of the man I’d left him in that Ring. Eyes like wounds.
Emotion crushed inward, compressing bone and breath. I shuffled over and eased down. Elowen and I sat in silence for a long while, shoulder to shoulder.
Soft memories bubbled up, reminding me of all the times we’d laughed together. Helped each other. Comforted, supported, and encouraged.
“I missed you in this life,” I admitted. “I didn’t know it, but I did.”
“That’s because I’m missable.” She bumped my shoulder with her own. “But I missed you, too.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a beat. “Let me assure you, I won’t make the same mistakes. When the time comes, I’ll kill Ian, even if Jasher dies with him.” Pain leaked into my voice. “I won’t hesitate. Not again.”
Her eyes searched mine, and she sighed. “I believe you. I’m sorry.”
We sat in silence for several more beats, the very air we breathed saturated with sorrow.
“How did you get the scars?” I asked. In most of my memories of her, she’d been without a single mark. “You’re immortal. You heal.”
“The tides fall on us all,” she mumbled, then nibbled on her bottom lip.
“Do you think we’re cursed? Both of Mother’s husbands died violently—or they will, if the past repeats itself.
Iris’s father, my husband and greatest love, died in monstra fire when they first arrived, and nothing I’ve done has saved him. And now, your love is set to die.”
No wonder she hated monstra as much as she did. They’d taken her parents, her sister, and her husband. And if she didn’t want to tell me about the scars, that was fine. But I hoped one day she would.
“We can blame Ian for all the deaths,” I said. “I can stop him. I just have to ignite and unleash the Ember.” Yes, I’d given it the last piece of me: my will. But what did I do next?
Another heavy pause. Another dejected sigh from Elowen. “Mother once told me it’s not a skill you learn, but a valve you open.”
“Great. Another riddle.”
“Allow me to translate for you. You do not want to, so you do not.”
Because of Jasher. Pang. “That’s changed. I’ve changed. I want to. So why haven’t I?”
“You’ll have to tell me,” she muttered.
I sighed. “When I succeed this time, everything will be fixed, just not the way I wished. I get it now. Jasher will be dead, but the world will be restored.”
She flinched. “We all have a price to pay. And a role to play. A purpose. You carry the Ember to stop Ian. My path leads to Sin and her Malkom. Their end drives my every thought, my every action. I believe you are our ultimate weapon. One needed to take out their greatest weapon—Ian. It shouldn’t matter that you’ll suffer a loss in the process.
But it does. Your happiness is important to me. ”
PANG. “I won’t fail us.”
“I believe you,” she repeated. “When the time comes, I think the light will flow from you, as it’s meant to.
” She shifted her position, angling toward me.
“If everything goes as it has in the past, we have two days before the big battle. Take a little time. Get your head and heart right.” She lifted and offered her hand. “I’m still hunting Sin and Malkom.”
“I’ve seen them in visions. He’s always at her side, silent.” Always cloaked in shadows, hiding his visage, but not his menace.
“Malkom was once the greater threat, but he is now controlled by Sin. She keeps him on a chain, much like you did your Jasher. Malkom’s powers are…they are terrible, Moriah.” She shuddered. “He—they—must be eliminated.”
“But Ian first,” I said.
“Ian first.” Elowen angled her hand, so that her fingertips brushed mine. I wrapped my fingers against hers, and we pulled in, pressing our foreheads together.
“Sisters until the end,” she breathed out.
“Sisters until the end.”