CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
EMMERY
That night and the following day were a whirlwind of people in and out, healers and whispers and letters tied to crows that carried word of the news. Emmery paced, her eyes aching from the sleepless night and palms as sweaty as the rest of her.
Because Fionn was awake.
She’d run to the healers the moment Fionn’s cold, clammy hand slid into hers. While both Destonne and Brennen were inside the room, she loitered outside, willing herself to cross the threshold, though her limbs wouldn’t move.
Later when Destonne left the room, he wore his same bored expression.
He gave Emmery a brief glance and asked if she was alright, before he strutted off, likely to attend to their plans for tomorrow’s leave.
When Brennen stepped outside moments later, she swore tears stained his fur, if wolves could even cry.
Briar sent word she’d arrive in two days' time. Unfortunately, Emmery would be gone by then. The thought of abandoning Fionn knotted her insides and left a tangle of conflictions.
As she paced outside his door later that evening, she wrung her hands and gnawed on her cheek. Questions overwhelmed her to the point where her breathing faltered. She sank back against the wall and slid to the floor.
The healers had been in there all day. All damn day.
Impatience simmered in her veins and she stared at the door while part of her screamed to retreat to her room and hide under the covers.
Because while Fionn may have answers for her about Shade, she may not like some of those truths, especially about their time together.
If they had ever truly been friends. The reason for leaving her there.
All of the things she’d laid awake at night asking herself.
They clawed up her throat until she couldn’t speak at all, and she sat there mute while she absentmindedly stroked Aera’s fur.
As the pot-bellied healer exited the door and found her in the same place, he crouched in front of her and said, “You should go in. He’s been asking for you all day.”
Emmery blinked incredulously. “He’s been asking for me?”
Surely out of guilt. It had to be out of guilt.
The healer nodded. She really needed to learn his name, but inquiring at this point seemed awkward. Maybe she would get it from Brennen later.
The man patted her shoulder and stood, then left her to stare at the closed door; the barrier between her and the answers that could change everything.
So, Emmery gathered herself, hauled to her feet, and pushed open the door. Aera wove between her ankles with each step.
Inside, Fionn sat up against the headboard, his raven black-hair wet from a recent bath and neatly combed. He wore a clean cobalt blue tunic, a colour she associated with him—that and the warm bronze of his eyes.
His gaze locked on her and Fionn smirked with that infectious crooked joy that reached inside Emmery and drew her toward him.
She forgot every possible reason not to climb on the bed and throw her arms around his neck, which is exactly what she did.
Fionn returned her embrace with just as much enthusiasm, though his arms were still frail from disuse.
Aera leapt onto the bed too, snuggling at Fionn’s side as Millie curled herself around the bedpost and watched.
Then Emmery was sobbing and, gods, she couldn’t stop if she tried. She cried as if her tears were a river and the sea reversed into it.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Fionn murmured, his voice that same light suave tone though a hint of roughness clouded it. Emmery pressed her face into his neck and inhaled his scent of leather and oak, sturdy and warm. “I missed you,” he added, the words a rasp, bloated with emotion.
Emmery’s breaths shook. Good gods, she needed to get a hold of herself.
She swiped a hand across her wet eyes and snotty face.
“I thought you were dead. And then, gods, Fionn I thought you were gone again.” Because it was true.
She thought he’d died in the war first and then when she found him again here in Destonne’s castle, she feared he might never wake up.
“No, I’m still kicking. Seems I’m not done here yet.” He looked her over thoughtfully, and his brows pulled together. “You seem different, Em.”
“It’s been almost a century, so I would hope so. But you look exactly the same.” It was like a single day hadn’t passed. It seemed he aged as she did.
“It’s that new beauty routine Dez has me hooked on. What’s it composed of again? Oh right, tears of my enemies and souls of the innocent. Keeps the skin taut and fresh.” He swept a hand dramatically across his chin and Emmery choked out a laugh.
“Maybe I need to get onto the beauty regime.”
Fionn studied her like a strange new species he’d stumbled upon. “I almost didn’t recognize you but it could be the goron root they have me on. Has me a bit loopy, I think. When you first walked in, I could barely focus on you. You were this golden-silver blob.”
“How flattering.” Then her stomach churned.
“Also is that safe?” She glanced at his side table, which was littered with all sorts of strange herbs and varied concoctions.
She’d overheard the healer speaking of gorron root used as a pain suppressant, but with Fionn’s affliction, was it the best for him to have access to such a large supply?
Emmery bit down on her bottom lip, not wanting to overstep.
Not with the delicacy of the tightrope between them.
She was already teetering as she sat back on her heels, and questions nearly tumbled from her mouth.
“It’s safe, Em. I can’t gorge myself on it if that’s what concerns you.” He gave her a pointed look. “And the healer specifically said no risky substances for at least two weeks.”
While it was clearly a joke, Emmery couldn’t laugh. She gave his shoulder a shove before she thrust a finger in his face. “Don’t you ever do that again. I mean it, Fionn. If you touch that damned bone ash again, I’ll kick your ass. And Briar already has a reservation to go first.”
Fionn glanced at the door. “Where is sister dearest?”
“She’s on her way.” Emmery fidgeted with the comforter to keep her hands busy. The air shifted between them and now burned with tension.
He shuffled down in the bed and laid with his elbow bent and the back of his head cradled in his hand. “I’m sure you have a barrage of questions for me.”
More than he could imagine. As Emmery stretched out next to him, she studied his side profile, the soft curve of his jaw, and those long dark eyelashes fringed over his almond eyes. Her gaze followed the serpent tattoo. “What if I’m afraid of the answers?”
“Don’t be,” he said and closed his eyes. “It’s only me. There are years between us, but nothing else has changed. I’m still me and you’re still you.”
Emmery nodded as if she understood, but doubt swelled in her chest. She supposed she’d start with the most difficult one. Get it out of the way, rip it off like a sodden bandage. “So what was between us—were we … friends?”
“I can’t believe that’s your first question.
” Fionn’s brows bunched and he sputtered a disbelieving sound.
“We were friends before you woke up across the gate. And we are now, too, in case you didn’t know.
” A shit-eating grin swept over his face.
“I heard you reading to me, Em. You had some solid choices, but that pirate adventure was awful.”
Relief washed over her and the knot slowly unfurled inside her.
But if he heard her reading, did that mean he heard her conversation with Destonne last night?
And with Briar? There were still too many questions and pieces missing.
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew me before?
And that you’re Kenna too?” Emmery gnawed on her lip.
“You knew what I was. What I went through—”
“I—” He started and nibbled on his thumbnail.
“Honestly, I don’t know. At first it was hard to even talk to you.
You didn’t recognize me and remembered nothing, so it was like talking to a ghost. And then so much time passed that I didn’t know when to tell you.
Besides, I don't have—” He shrugged, but it was heavy, like the thought was a ball and chain.
“You’re Forgotten,” Emmery said cautiously. “But what’s your magic?”
“The burden of shield.” He stared at the ceiling, his jaw set in a hard line.
Emmery nudged him with her elbow. “Can I see? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” In an attempt to lighten the conversation, she playfully flicked a thread of gold fire and toyed with it between her fingers before she dashed it away.
Fionn rolled his eyes. “There’s not much to see. But—” He held his hand between them and a strange bronze shimmer the size of a dinner plate appeared. It was translucent, but as Emmery pressed her hand against it the opacity remained, like touching a wall.
“That’s—Fionn, that’s damn brilliant.” Emmery pushed against the resistance again, but it didn’t budge. “Why didn’t you show me before? We could have had so much fun with this.”
“It’s nothing,” he said again. He wiped the shield from existence. “I was embarrassed, I guess.”
“Embarrassed?” Emmery snorted. “Says the man who is one of the kindest and most loving people I know. Also the man who used to declare random ‘no pants days’ and strutted around in his underwear.”
“Stop, I’m blushing. And no pants days live on,” he joked. He gnawed on his fingernail again. “You’re likely wondering why I didn’t take you with me and why I was there in the first place. I’ve been dreading that one.”
Emmery narrowed her eyes at him. “And?”
“You see, the thing is…” He chewed harder, like he would devour his whole finger if it got him out of the conversation.
“I can’t tell you why I was there. As for why I didn’t take you with me, I wasn’t sure if it was safe for you here.
Things had gone so poorly after you were hurt, Em.
We were on the brink of war and there were people looking for you and—” He hissed a disgruntled sound.
“I can’t say anymore. Look, I want to. I really want to tell you, but I can’t.
It’s part of the pactum I made. I’m sorry. ”
Emmery groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Afraid not.” A sheepish grin. “Wish I could.”
“Can you tell me who gave you that book?” Emmery asked. She gestured to The Nameless Book and her hand. “And this ring? Where did you get them? I need to find the man who gave you these. It’s important, Fi. The world depends on it important.”
Fionn frowned like he was contemplating it and opened his mouth to speak, but not a whisper of sound came.
He closed it, tried again, and his corneas flashed black as Vesper’s had after she’d brought him back from death.
Compulsion. Fionn squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again, they had returned to his familiar warm bronze. “Sorry, Em. I can’t.”
She wanted to scream. Or hit something. Possibly set this whole room ablaze. Instead, her head fell into her hands. The weight of it all stood on her shoulders until she was ready to crumple to the ground.
Fionn pressed a hand to her back and rubbed circles into it, much like Destonne had the night she was sick. It was something Fionn had done for her each time the grief of losing Mae had been too much and she fell apart. Fionn always put her back together.
She leaned into him. “I leave tomorrow,” she said into his shirt.
“I heard,” he replied, still continuing those circles. “Dez told me earlier.”
“It’s weird you’re friends with him.”
“And you aren’t?”
Emmery snorted. “Absolutely not.”
“Seems you two don’t agree on that.”
“There isn’t much we agree on,” she mused, though now she wasn’t sure it was true.
“Now that you’re awake, I don’t want to go.
And I don’t want to leave Aera. But I can’t take her to the Hollow.
” Her eyes burned with tears as they met the fox’s.
“She won’t swim. And I don’t know what sort of dangers await us. ”
“I’ll look after your fuzzy friend.” Fionn huffed a laugh and pulled her into a squeeze. “And don’t worry about me. Bri will be here to harass me soon.”
“She still won’t be here for a few days.”
“Good. I don’t need the two of you teaming up on me. I’ll be here when you get back. But you have better things to attend to. Like saving the world.”
Emmery groaned. “Memories first, Fi. Then the man who wrote me that book. Which would be nice if you could tell me. Save me all this damn trouble.” The bitterness in the last comment was beyond sour.
“Don’t worry, Em. You don’t need me to tell you anything. Follow your heart. It’s your strongest guide.”
Emmery suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She was tired of people giving her bullshit guidance and needed something solid. Something that she could depend on. But whether Fionn was right or not, tomorrow she would descend into the Hollow.
And once she took that plunge, there was no going back.