Chapter 27 Luca
LUCA
February ended and March arrived, and with it came the hint of spring. Flowers started to bloom once again outside of balconies and terraces. Instead of women walking in boots through the snow, they wore heels on their way to work.
I preferred winter, personally. I always ran warm, so even in the snow, I didn’t wear a coat.
A long-sleeved shirt was enough for me. Even before I’d added a hundred pounds of muscle to my body, I’d been that way.
Whenever I had to wear a tuxedo or a suit for an event, I thought I was going to melt.
I stood outside the building at five on the dot, an hour of daylight still left.
Jacques opened the door and stepped out, wearing trousers and a collared shirt with a tie. His bag was over his shoulder. Like he’d had a long day at work, he pulled out a cigarette and lit up before he began his walk to his apartment.
I caught up to him and matched his speed. “Got any extra?”
He halted when he realized I was there, the cigarette sitting between his lips. The sidewalk was crowded because everyone had gotten off work, and they were heading to cafés for a drink and a smoke before they retired for the evening.
He stared at me as the smoke left his nostrils. “I want nothing to do with this. No offense, Luca.”
“Not here to recruit you.”
“I don’t want the association either.”
“I get it. But no one knows I’m here. No one is watching us.
And that doesn’t matter anyway because your relationship to your father is still public knowledge.
If someone wants to hurt your father, they’re going to come for you.
There’s nowhere in the world you can hide.
Change your name, get fake passports, live in a hut in rural Russia, you’ve still got a target on your back. ”
He took another drag from the cigarette before he took it from between his lips. He dropped it on the ground and stepped on it, like the nicotine wasn’t enough to soothe the tightness in every muscle in his body.
“Let’s get a drink.”
“I’d rather not.”
“You’d rather stand out here next to the road in a sea of people?”
A flash of annoyance entered his gaze, but he didn’t give voice to it.
I nodded toward Le Petit Cream. “Shall we?”
He gave me a glare but didn’t fight it.
I walked up to the café and asked for an outdoor table so we could both smoke. It was already busy, so we were squeezed between two round tables, girls on either side of us smoking and drinking their cocktails and talking about their days at work.
Jacques hung his bag on the edge of the chair and immediately lit up another smoke.
I pulled out a cigar and lit up too.
He said nothing, just smoking while we waited for the waiter.
When he came by, we both ordered stiff drinks and then sat in uncomfortable silence.
I stared at my cousin, who looked similar to me, dark hair and dark eyes, tall and a bit burly. “How’s your family?”
“Let’s not talk about them.”
“Whether we talk about them or not, it’s not going to make them any safer.”
He took a drag of his cigarette and looked elsewhere.
“Come on, Jacques,” I said. “No one is going to fuck with your father when all of Paris know he’s my uncle.”
His eyes eventually came back to me. “It’s rich of you to tell me not to worry, considering how both of your parents died.”
It bothered me. It would always bother me. “My dad was an idiot. It’s no surprise what happened.”
“Your mom was innocent.”
“But my father didn’t care about her. He didn’t care about me either.”
“Well, that’s where we’re different. Because I love my wife and daughter more than anything.” He tapped his cigarette against the ashtray to drop the ash that had accumulated on the tip. “I’d die if anything happened to them.”
“That’s how it should be.”
He took another drag of the cigarette and let the smoke billow out like a cloud.
The waiter brought our drinks.
He crossed his legs. “What do you want from me, Luca?”
“Your father misses you.” It was as simple as that. “It eats him alive every day.”
He dismissed my words by looking away. “I want no part of that life.”
“Having a relationship with him doesn’t mean you need to be part of that life.”
“The association is enough. If he wants to be in my life, then he can walk away from it all. He can have dinner with us every Sunday night. Those are my terms, and I won’t alter them to accommodate him.
It’d be different if it were just me, but I have a little girl, and she’s everything to me.
” He took another drag of the cigarette, let out the smoke, and then took a drink.
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Then he can keep doing what he’s doing, and I’ll do what I’m doing,” he said. “Problem solved.”
As nice as it was to be loved like a son, I knew I didn’t deserve that favoritism.
My father was gone because he was selfish and careless.
I was never important to him. If I had been, he would have been like Jacques and protected me against it all.
But my uncle and cousin deserved to be reunited.
“I see the pain your father carries, and I have to assume you carry it too.”
“I sleep just fine.”
“Right.”
He took another drag of his cigarette.
I’d barely touched my cigar.
“Why are you doing this, Luca? You’re the son he wanted. Looks like everything worked out for the best.”
“I’ll never replace you, Jacques.” Even when Baptiste said he considered me to be a son, I knew he spoke from a place of pain. “Just because my parents were killed due to the business doesn’t mean the same will happen to your parents or to you.”
“But it could.”
“And you could get hit by a taxi crossing the street, Jacques.”
“I look both ways, asshole.”
“I’m just saying, death can hit us at any time. I don’t think going no-contact with your parents is the right decision.”
“Oh, you don’t think so?” he snapped. “Because this is your life? Your decision? Luca, if you ever settle down with a woman and pop out a kid, your entire perspective will be different. Don’t talk to me about something you don’t understand.
” He stabbed the cigarette into the ashtray and put it out. “Did he put you up to this?”
“No.”
“Really?” he challenged.
“I swear on my father’s grave.”
He continued to study me, balancing between belief and disbelief. “Why? Why do you care?”
I didn’t involve myself in other people’s affairs. Their messes. Their chaos. But I got involved in this. “The difference between your father and mine is…yours actually gives a shit about you. He actually loves you. Mine never did. And it seems like a waste for you both to lose that.”
With his fingers on the top of his glass, he continued to stare at me.
“Just seems like a waste.”
Aliénor texted me. Dominic and I are at Bar Hemingway if you want to stop by.
I’d just gotten home when I received her text. It’s okay. Have fun. Now that I knew Dominic was into dudes and not into her, I didn’t care about their friendship. Truth be told, I was still embarrassed that I’d gotten jealous over a man who didn’t even like women.
Come on. Dominic wants to meet you.
Alright. I’ll be there in a few.
And heads-up…he thinks you’re hot.
How does he know what I look like?
I may have taken some pictures of you…
I smirked. Sneaky.
I said some. Not a lot.
I pocketed my phone and had my driver take me over there. I hopped out and stepped inside, finding the two of them sitting together on two stools with red leather cushions. They both had cocktails.
Dominic was a good-looking guy. Tall, muscular like he worked out, nice eyes.
I definitely wouldn’t like him if he weren’t gay, and I knew he was definitely gay because of the way he looked at me.
His eyes roamed up and down and then shifted back to Aliénor.
Then he smirked at her and mouthed, “Girl.”
Aliénor turned to look at me, and her eyes lit up at the sight of me. She got out of her chair, rose onto her tiptoes, and kissed me as she wrapped her arms around my neck. It was more than a peck, a little intense for a public space, but I was game for PDA.
She pulled away and returned to her seat. “Dominic, this is Luca.”
“Ah, he really is a god.” He continued to talk about me like I wasn’t an actual person. He didn’t shake my hand but gave a slight bow. “We are not worthy.”
Aliénor burst out laughing.
I grabbed an extra chair and pulled it next to Aliénor. I wasn’t used to a gay man repeatedly praising me, but I didn’t mind it. “Nice to meet you,” I said politely, a phrase I hadn’t used since I was in secondary school.
“No.” His hand moved to his chest. “The pleasure is mine.” His eyes flicked over me again. “Aliénor and I have talked about you a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot.”
My arm moved over the back of her chair, and I felt even more idiotic for throwing a tantrum over this guy. The least threatening man I’d ever come across.
“You make my girl very happy,” he said. “I’ll leave it at that.”
Aliénor chuckled again, her cheeks a little red like Dominic’s open-book attitude embarrassed her a bit.
I wasn’t good at making conversation, even with people I knew well, so I ordered a drink and let them talk.
“Aliénor says you’re a senator?” he asked. “So, you’re smart and beautiful? Some people really just have it all, don’t they?”
I was certain she hadn’t shared the rest of my job title. Probably wouldn’t want to be associated with me otherwise. “Yes.”
“Yes, you’re a senator, or yes, you have it all?” he asked.
“Both.”
He chuckled quietly. “At least he’s honest.”
“What do you do at Septime?” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d tried to make conversation with someone like this.
Even at work functions, I already knew most of the guests, so we didn’t have to do too much small talk.
We discussed football or talked shit about President Martin’s suit behind his back.
“I’m a waiter,” he said. “Aliénor used to be a sommelier…until she became a big-time fashion merchandiser.”
I turned to her. “I didn’t know you knew so much about wine.”