48. 2102
Kiri
Radhika’s driver has barely pulled away from her house when I text Rafe.
hows Nat?
His reply comes before we reach the bottom of the hill.
she’s OK
Kasia and I got her calmed down. Stefan upgraded her to a penthouse to distract her from tonight. PR machine shit engaged
her face when Kas showed her the room was good. cheered her up after that piece of shit
The relief washes over me. Then I message Elise.
what penthouse did Nat get moved to? i want to send her flowers from the band after that shit tnight
Smart idea. 2102.
I stare at the message.
2102.
Radhika’s driver drops me at the hotel and the elevator feels like it takes forever to get me to the top floor.
Natalia’s suite is at the far end of the hall.
I stop outside her door and knock. There’s a thud from inside, then the quick shuffle of footsteps.
Then Natalia’s voice comes through, already exasperated.
“Kasia, I told you I’m fine. Go be with Rafe—”
She opens the door and the words die. She’s still wearing the black dress, though her heels are gone and her hair is down, falling around her face. Her makeup is smudged. She looks exhausted, shaken, and beautiful enough to wipe every sentence I'd practiced from my head.
“Kiri?” She opens the door another inch. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
Natalia looks past me into the hallway, then reluctantly pulls the door wider.
I step into the entranceway. She closes it slowly behind me, keeping one hand wrapped around the handle as though she hasn’t decided whether she’s letting me stay or preparing to throw me straight back out.
The suite opens into a massive living room with floor-to-ceiling windows, a marble bar, and enough furniture to host its own event.
“Stefan did good on the penthouse.”
She nods. “It was nice, he didn’t have to.”
“Fuck, the label should pay for this and more after what—” I stop myself. Her shoulders tighten anyway.
“How are you?” I ask, more carefully.
“I mean, fine. Beyond, you know, hating all men.”
She crosses her arms and leans back against the door. Her eyes narrow.
“How’s Radhika? Did she get home okay?”
I swallow.
“Uh, yeah. I mean, okay isn’t exactly how I’d describe it, but she’s Radhika. Even when—”
“That’s nice.”
I take one step toward her.
“No, Nat. Let me finish—”
“I don’t see why I should.” She pushes away from the door. “I told you on the phone that was your last chance. But here you are.”
Another step, then another. She stalks toward me with every word, fury carrying her across the marble until the space between us begins disappearing.
“And then, on top of it, you decided hurting me wasn’t enough. No, let’s add humiliation to the rejection. Let’s add going back to your ex within, what, a week? Yeah, let's add that to the bingo card.”
“Nat—”
“You know, the beautiful one. The successful one that everyone loves, who’s everything I wish I was.”
Her voice cracks at the edges.
“Did you pay the photographers at the Meridian? Because they did an awesome job.”
She gives me an exaggerated thumbs-up. The gesture would be funny if her eyes weren’t beginning to shine.
“Then, when it somehow can’t get any worse, my sister and Rafe invite me here because they think—”
She stops. Her hand drops. Natalia shakes her head.
“They think the reason I’ve been miserable is because I miss all this.”
She gestures toward the penthouse, the city beyond the windows, the kind of night built from money and access and people who never have to stand in line.
“The rich life. The spectacle and parties. They think I came home and got depressed because normal life wasn’t shiny enough anymore.”
Her laugh is brittle.
“They don’t know that I just miss—”
She cuts herself off again. By now, we’re barely a step apart. I’ve moved toward her without realizing it. So has she.
“You just miss what?” I ask, even though I already know. I’ve never wanted to hear an answer more in my life.
Her eyes lift to mine. The anger in them is still there, but it’s breaking apart under everything else.
“I just miss a palant (idiot), that I shouldn't miss at all.”
The words hit me square in the chest.
“But then tonight,” she continues, voice rising again, “he decides to punch someone who, according to Rafe, is more powerful than God at your label, just to protect me. And now that idiot is standing in front of me, so what the fuck am I supposed to think, Kiri?” Her breath shakes.
“What am I—”
I catch her face in both hands and pull her into me, crushing the rest of the question beneath my mouth before she has a chance to finish.
She freezes, then grabs me with both hands, surging into me so violently our bodies collide.
Her lips part beneath mine as I deepen the kiss, and every wall between us collapses at once.
The band.
Worry.
The past.
My father.
My fear.
Every single thing I used to push her away burns out beneath the first sweep of her tongue against mine.
Natalia makes a broken sound and I pull her closer.
Her body meets mine as heat floods through me.
My hand slides from her jaw to the back of her neck, holding her there while I kiss her harder, deeper.
Every pass of my mouth asks for something I should have asked for weeks ago.
Believe me.
Let me prove it.
Give me one more chance.
She answers by biting my lower lip. Pain flashes bright enough to drag a groan from my throat. Her nails dig into the back of my head, pulling through my hair as she kisses me again with every ounce of anger I’ve earned.
I welcome it.
Want it.
Need it.
I need her to take all of it out on me. Every tear and sleepless night.
Every lie I told because I was too scared to tell her the truth.
I need her to burn through me with all of it until there’s nothing left between us but what I should’ve said from the beginning.
She pulls me down harder, mouth open beneath mine, breathing against my lips between frantic kisses that barely separate before beginning again.
“Nat,” I manage.
She turns her face and my mouth catches the corner of hers, then her cheek, the line of her jaw.
Her head tips back and I kiss beneath it, then travel lower to her neck, along the pulse pounding wildly in her throat.
Her fingers tighten in my hair. I feel her breath catch when my teeth graze the tender skin beneath her ear.
So, I do it again, slower. A careful bite, just enough pressure to make her body soften against mine.
My name leaves her in a moan against my ear.
I harden so fast it hurts, my body straining against where she’s pressed tight to me.
Natalia feels it. Her hips roll forward on instinct, dragging over me once, and the friction pulls a rough sound from my throat.
She does it again. My grip tightens around her waist as every part of me surges toward her, desperate to close whatever space is left.
It leaves every part of me answering her.
I press another kiss beneath her jaw, then drag my mouth back to that spot under her ear. Her head falls farther to the side, giving me more.
I take it all.
My tongue traces the place I just bit, soothing the mark before my teeth catch her earlobe. She shudders. One hand slides down from my hair to the back of my neck, nails dragging hard enough to leave lines. Heat flares beneath the scratches. I groan into her skin, then she does it again.
“Kiss me,” she whispers.
I lift my head and I can see her eyes are wet. Something holds us there, neither of us willing to look away.
Then she grabs my face and pulls me back.
The kiss turns desperate, her mouth opening under mine, until I can’t tell whether the shaking breath is hers or mine.
My hands move over her waist, her back, the bare skin exposed by the cut of her dress.
She arches into my palms. I drag one hand upward, fingers tracing the long line of her spine, and she moans softly into my mouth.
Her lips move to my jaw, then my throat. She kisses me there with the same frantic need, nipping once beneath my ear hard enough to make me tighten my grip around her. She bites me again.
“Fuck,” I breathe. "What're you doing, Kroppy?"
I laugh, but the sound breaks when her mouth softens over the same place.
I turn my head and catch her lips once more.
The kiss finally begins to slow, anger and regret burning itself out, leaving everything underneath exposed.
Her mouth moves against mine with aching care now.
My thumb brushes the tear slipping over her cheek.
Natalia pulls back just enough to breathe. Neither of us lets go.
“What am I supposed to think?” she whispers again.
This time, I don’t silence her with my mouth. I hold her face between my hands.
“Think I fucked up.”
Her eyes close.
“Think I got scared and hurt you because I thought losing you on purpose would be easier than waiting for it to happen.”
Her fingers curl against the back of my neck.
“Think I haven’t stopped being obsessed with you for one fucking second.”
Her eyes open.
“And Radhika?”
“It's over. She knew.”
“She knew what?”
“That I’m falling for you.”
The words leave me before fear can get hold of them. She stares at me as every muscle in her body goes still.
“I didn’t know how to say it before tonight,” I continue. “Maybe I didn’t even know it myself. But I know now.”
A tear spills down her cheek. I wipe it away.
“I’m sorry.”
Her mouth trembles, and I see every doubt I’ve ever carried reflected in her eyes. The same doubt I felt outside the Malhotra estate. Before our first gig. Every time I stood between Rithy and the pricks who thought they could throw him around.
I know what that kind of fear does to a person. I want to tear it out of her before it has the chance to settle.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you're less than her. You’re not.”
“But—”
“You’re not.”
I kiss her forehead. Then the wet track beneath one eye. Then the other.
“I was looking backward because it was easier than admitting what I wanted was standing right in fucking front of me. Than facing the risks.”
Her hands tighten around my neck.
“What do you want, Kiri?”
“You.” No hesitation or excuses. “You, Nat.”
Her face crumples. Then she kisses me again, hard enough to drive me back half a step.
I catch her around the waist, holding her against me while her mouth takes every apology I don’t know how to say.
She kisses me until my lips ache. Until her tears mix with mine.
Until neither of us can pretend this is just anger or lust anymore.
When she finally pulls away, she keeps her mouth close to mine.
“You’re such an asshole.”
“I know.”
She kisses me again.
“I missed you.”
That reaches somewhere I can’t protect. I wrap both arms around her and pull her against my chest. She buries her face in my neck. For a moment, there’s no hunger in it, only relief. Her whole body trembles against mine as I hold her tighter.
“I’m here,” I whisper into her hair. “I’m staying—if you’ll still have me.”