25. Inti（MATE）
VERENA
25
Lying in bed with Jae wasn’t a new experience. We’d been through the wringer together over the years—sleeping next to each other in libraries during finals, collapsing onto a single bed after exhausting work trips, and even passing out beside each other after too many drinks at college parties. Seriously, our history was littered with mundane, non-romantic nights spent in close quarters.
But sleeping beside him after getting off in a supply closet at our totally fake engagement party while he was begging for more? Yeah, this was fucking awkward.
To make matters worse, Auntie was currently staying with us. Sneaking off to the guest room while she roamed around the three-story penthouse wasn’t an option. So here I was, lying next to Jae in the master bedroom, wishing I could disappear.
“This is weird,” I whispered, staring up at the ceiling, my voice barely audible in the dark.
“Just go to bed, Verena,” Jae muttered beside me, irritation dripping from his words.
“Why are you grumpy?” I turned my head to look at him, but all I could see was his silhouette.
“I don’t like being next to you either,” he snapped, his tone harsh and dismissive.
“Oh, please,” I scoffed. “I’m a much better sleeper than you. You hog the covers and talk in your sleep.”
Jae dragged his hands down his face, clearly exasperated. “That’s not what I mean, Vee. Go to sleep.”
“You set this up,” I shot back. “I’m the only one allowed to complain.”
He cursed under his breath, and before I could react, he pulled me close, his grip firm and unyielding. My body stiffened as I felt the unmistakable hardness pressing against my thigh.
“I’m allowed to complain because I’ve been like this since the engagement party,” he growled, his voice a mixture of frustration and raw need.
A laugh bubbled up before I could stop it. “Maybe you should call your doctor. Isn’t there a warning about erections lasting more than six hours?”
“This isn’t funny, Verena.”
“Sure it is,” I said, struggling to maintain a straight face. “I mean, it’s a little funny. Didn’t you already…you know…finish? In your, uh, pants?”
His grip on me tightened, and I could feel the tension radiating from him. “You are not allowed to ever mention that again. I’m serious, Vee.”
“So am I,” I replied, my voice softening slightly. “Why is he back?”
“He? As in my cock?”
A shiver traveled down my spine at that filthy word. “Yeah. Why is your eager little buddy back?”
“Don’t ever call my cock an eager little buddy again, and because every time I close my eyes, all I can see is you. And then it just gets worse.”
“This was your brilliant idea, remember?” I reminded him. “Now you have to deal with the consequences.”
“God, you’re impossible,” he muttered, but there was no real anger in his voice. Instead, he sounded almost…resigned.
I shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Just go to sleep, Jae. We’ll figure it out in the morning.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, loosening his hold on me just enough to allow some space. “But if I die of frustration, it’s on you.”
“Deal,” I whispered, closing my eyes and willing sleep to come.
Ha. Come. Like I came all over his palm. God, why was I thinking about orgasms again?
“Stop thinking about it,” Jae said, his voice tight with irritation. How the fuck did he always know what I was thinking?
“You stop thinking about it,” I shot back, unable to keep the edge out of my voice. “And stop reading my mind.”
“Hard to do when you’re squirming. Maybe we just need to get it out of our system,” he suggested, his tone shifting to something more desperate. “Do it again to prove that it was just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing.”
I opened my eyes and turned to face him, taking in his silhouette in the dim light. He was shirtless, his chest rising and falling with each frustrated breath. The shadows highlighted the definition of his muscles, and the moonlight streaming through the window made his eyes look darker, more intense.
“While your aunt is somewhere in the house? I don’t think so.”
He sighed, the sound heavy with frustration. “My penthouse is three floors, and it’s four in the morning. She’s fast asleep on the top floor, far away from us. You didn’t care who was nearby when I got you off at the engagement party.”
“That was different. You ambushed me.”
“Just let me see if it was a fluke,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “Maybe we just need to prove to ourselves that it was a one-time thing.”
“Absolutely not,” I replied, trying to sound firm.
He shifted closer, his body heat making the already small space between us feel even more intimate. “Think of it as…testing a theory.”
“The fact that you’re trying to convince yourself that you couldn’t possibly be attracted to me is offensive, Jae.”
He chuckled softly. “I already knew I was attracted to you. It’s your reaction to me that I want to test.”
I couldn’t even form words. I had to practically choke down the shock that traveled up my throat. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t make me say it again. Please, let me test it out.”
“You’re begging again,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
His hand found my waist, fingers curling around my hip. His touch was gentle but firm. “Verena. Just once more. Let me see if it’s real.”
I could feel the tension radiating off him, the desperation in his touch. We were inches from giving in, the air between us thick and suffocating. His eyes locked onto mine, dark and intense, and he hovered over my lips, so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath mingling with mine.
“Please,” he whispered again, his voice trembling. “I need to know.”
He inched closer, his lips almost brushing mine. The raw need in his eyes made my heart race. His other hand slid up my side, fingers splayed across my ribs, pulling me even closer. His touch was electric, each point of contact sparking a fire that spread through my entire body.
“Jae,” I murmured, but it was more of a sigh, my resolve weakening with every passing second.
“Vee, just let me…” he whispered, his voice breaking. He leaned in, his lips just a hair’s breadth away from mine.
When his lips finally met mine in a tentative kiss, the sensation sent a shockwave through me, and I felt my body responding instinctively. His grip on my waist tightened, pulling me flush against him. His kiss deepened, growing more urgent, more desperate. He tasted like mint and something uniquely Jae, and it was…hell…it was fucked up.
Jae was an asshole.
My best friend. No—my frenemy.
He broke the kiss just long enough to murmur, “Verena,” his voice a low, needy whimper.
My heart pounded in my chest as he moved his lips to my neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin there. Every touch, every kiss was a plea, a desperate attempt to convince me. His hand slid over my nightgown, fingers tracing the curve of my waist, and I could feel the heat of his palm searing into my skin.
His mouth found its way back to mine, and he kissed me harder, more insistently.
Just as I was about to give in completely, I remembered that this was the man that tricked me, tortured me, and made me miserable.
I shoved him away, breaking the kiss with a gasp.
Jae stared at me, his eyes wide with shock and frustration, his chest heaving. “Verena!” he begged, his voice hoarse. “Just let me…test this theory a little more.”
“Absolutely not,” I repeated, my own voice shaky but resolute. The tension between us was nearly unbearable, but I couldn’t let him have this control. Not like this. Not when it felt so dangerously real. “I had a hard night with my mom getting pissed at me. I don’t want to deal with this.”
He sighed deeply, pulling back. “Well, mentioning your mother officially killed my boner.” I laughed despite myself, the tension breaking for a moment. “How pissed was she?”
“Very. I think she dated a guy in the mafia once. You should be very concerned about her connections, Jae.”
He chuckled, the sound low and rough in the quiet room. “Great. Something else to worry about.”
“We’ll be fine. Or she’ll just kill you. No big deal. I mean. You did spring a full public proposal on her just days after I told her we were dating.”
“Did she say anything else to you?” Jae asked, his voice still rugged with leftover frustration.
“No, luckily I was able to escape before she could corner me, but I have about four hundred missed calls. I’m sure she’ll show up here at your house soon. We really have to figure this out, or I’m going to have to tell her the truth, Jae. She’s not buying it.”
“What did you tell her about me to make her hate me so much?” Jae’s brow furrowed, a hint of genuine curiosity in his tone. “Your mom used to love me.”
I sighed, feeling the weight of the explanation I knew I had to give. “It’s not just me complaining about a boss, Jae. My mom witnessed it. All the times you called me in during holidays, family gatherings, special events.”
Jae interrupted, a defensive edge to his voice. “Yeah? Well, maybe you should have invited me over for Christmas morning.”
“What?” I asked, taken aback by the unexpected response.
He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Nothing.”
“No, tell me,” I insisted.
Jae exhaled sharply, his shoulders slumping. “You know, sometimes I wished you’d invite your best friend over for the holidays, Vee. A few years ago, you stopped including me. I have no one. Auntie was all the way in Korea. My parents are gone. And every holiday, I was left alone in this big, empty house.” His voice grew softer, more vulnerable. “But I guess you didn’t want to invite your boss to Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas morning.”
His words hit me, a pang of guilt and sadness settling in my chest. “Jae, I…I didn’t know you felt that way.”
He rolled over, his back to me, his voice now just a whisper. “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to be alone, Vee. So I came up with bullshit excuses to make you work on the holidays. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.”
I reached out instinctively, but hesitated, my hand hovering just above his shoulder. “Jae, I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. You should have said something.”
“Goodnight, Verena,” he muttered, his voice tight.
I stared at his back, feeling a lump forming in my throat. I wanted to say something, to comfort him, to apologize for not seeing the loneliness he had been hiding behind his demanding exterior. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I lay there in the dark, the significance of his confession pressing down on me, making it impossible to sleep.
My mind raced, replaying every holiday, every missed invitation, every time I had cursed him for ruining my plans without considering why he might have done it. The realization that Jae had been using work as an excuse to avoid being alone hit me hard. And suddenly, all the anger I had felt toward him seemed misplaced, replaced by a deep sense of regret.
I wanted to reach out, to touch his shoulder, to let him know that I understood now. But I hesitated, afraid that my touch might make things worse. Instead, I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the distance between us more acutely than ever.
“Jae,” I whispered, my voice barely audible in the darkness. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t respond, and I wasn’t sure if he had heard me or if he was already asleep. But the silence that followed felt heavy, filled with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. I knew that things between us had shifted, that the barriers we had built over the years were beginning to crumble. And as I lay there, the warmth of his body just inches away, I realized that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for us to bridge the gap that had grown between us.