Chapter Five
NO ONE brEATHED.
You could feel the menace rolling through the room as everyone waited for my answer. I know my eyes had gone dead. It didn’t feel like I had any blood remaining in my head and I tottered, putting a bracing hand out on a nearby chair. Brent grabbed my elbow to support me. I shook him off.
I stared back at Cole as his eyes flew across my face, gathering information as they went. A second later he murmured, “I didn’t think so.”
“I need a shower,” I whispered, heading past everyone to the door. Really, I just needed to get the heck out of the room.
“Who was it, darlin’?” Brent asked in the softest tone that spoke of unimaginable deadly promise.
Silently, I kept on moving. I exited the room and grabbed my bags, still holding onto my liquor. Important, that. I turned to Brent and saw everyone had followed. “Where’s the bathroom?”
After studying me closely, he wordlessly pointed down a long hallway, and then hooked his thumb to the right.
I inclined my head in silent thank you and followed his directions. The bathroom was outrageously extravagant. There was a Jacuzzi tub gigantic enough to fit five people. I scowled, trying hard not to think about him with another woman in it. The shower was separate and had a rainforest showerhead.
I started it up and quickly stripped. Another large gulp, braced myself, and I turned my back to the mirror.
I glanced over my shoulder and tried not to cry.
The word “WHORE” had been branded into my back, stretching all the way from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.
It had been two years since I had been carved into, but it was still unconditionally noticeable.
I choked on a sob and quickly rushed into the shower, racing against the memories.
A half hour later and half my bottle downed, I wobbled from the shower, smelling of Brent’s shampoo, sandalwood soap, and tequila. I threw on a long t-shirt and grabbed my junk and exited the bathroom. I stumbled to a stop.
Brent was sitting on the floor outside the door with a goodly portion of his own bottle gone.
He stared up at me with so much hurt shining from his eyes that I had to touch him.
That’s what happens when you love someone, even after they’ve hurt you.
I juggled my bottle, and ran my fingers through his curls and his hand wrapped around my ankle.
He ran it slowly up and down my bare skin.
I don’t know how long we remained that way, lost in our own hurt, but eventually he slurred, “Tomorrow we’re flying down to Orlando. We’re going to be there awhile working on the cruise line’s Sensations security problems. You’re coming with us.”
“Am I now? You sure are getting bossy in your old age.” I grinned and tugged on his hair, only faltering slightly on my feet. Whew. Yep. It was official. I was sloshed.
“Please don’t argue about this.” He braced a shoulder against the wall and slowly slid up it. I wasn’t in any shape to help him, so he was on his own. After his third attempt, he made it completely upright.
“Fine. I’ll go. I won’t even argue since I’m not sure what my plans are yet.” I took a drink. Or maybe I didn’t. I placed my bottle in front of one eye and closed the other. Yessir. It had gotten lower.
“And your sleeping in my bed tonight,” he ordered hoarsely, taking a gulp of his own alcohol.
I laughed. It sounded a little bitter. “I wouldn’t want to trip over any of Supermodel’s shoes that she might have left lying around. No-o-o, thank you. I’m sleeping on the couch.”
I headed in the direction I thought the torn apart room was in. Brent tripped right along with me and I thought I heard him mutter, “No woman’s ever been here. Other than Ally, anyway.”
We came along a chef’s delight of a kitchen.
Ally and all three men were sitting around the table talking.
I stubbed my toe when I stopped. It didn’t hurt so much.
I waved with my bottle. “Nighty night, Ally. Night, Stash. Night, Zane.” I paused and breathed deeply.
“Night, Cole.” He sure was pretty. And he looked darn serious. Did the man even know how to have fun?
Oh. Wait. He sure did. I tried not to leer.
I turned to go – thinking that was the safest option - and bumped in to Brent who was trying to steady himself as he took another drink.
Jeez. He brought the whisky from his lips to swing next to his hip and I bent at the waist getting a good view point from down here.
Boy howdy, he had drunk a lot of it. He swayed, staring down at me.
Stash chuckled. “You two all right?”
“Yep,” we answered at the same time.
Brent punched me in the arm first. “Jinx. You owe me a soda.”
“Not fair! My hands are full,” I complained.
“Water might be a good idea,” Cole offered dryly and I raised my eyebrows at him. Or at least I think I did. He stated seriously, “Ember, we need to talk sometime.”
“Nope. No talkin’. You know her all you need to.” Brent pointed his bottle at him. “And don’t be expectin’ to know her that way again.”
“Hush,” I told him, leaning in close. “You aren’t bein’ very nice.” I paused, remembering where I had been going. “I need to find the couch.”
He stumbled from standing still. Then grinned.
I gaped.
Oh, he was very pretty, too.
Ally cleared her throat. “The couch is the other way.” She pointed the way we had come from.
Brent went to lean against the door, misjudged, and knocked his knee into it instead. Good.
“I told you I wanted the darn couch!” I knocked his head with my bottle and he only smiled like the cat that ate the canary. “Jerk.”
I started walking, but Ally hollered, “Honey, the other way!”
“Right. Right.” I pivoted and saluted them before going in the opposite direction. I knew I hadn’t passed that darn kitchen on my way to the bathroom the first time around.
“Fine. You can sleep on the couch,” Brent grumbled, bumping into the wall as we went.
“You are ever so kind.” I tried bowing to him, but that wasn’t my brightest idea. Half the remaining tequila spilled as I tipped over. “Cripes!”
“Party foul,” he snickered, helping me stand back up.
We made it to the disemboweled library with only breaking one picture frame that hung on the hallway wall. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.
We stood in silence, staring into the room that appeared to be carpeted in shards of wood, glass, and porcelain. Hmm.
“Boots. I need to put on my boots.” I dropped my bags and dug through my duffle.
I pulled them out and used Brent to steady myself.
We were as balanced as riding a wave on a surfboard.
We only broke the table where he had dropped his keys earlier.
Plus, it didn’t take too long. Maybe fifteen minutes or so.
Once I had my poo-kickers on, I entered the room, arms loaded with all my crap. The doors shut behind me. I wobbled to a half turn and saw Brent with his head against the closed door while fumbling with the lock. I don’t think it latched by the way he cursed at it.
My eyes narrowed. “What do you think you’re doin’?”
“I’m not lettin’ you sleep alone with Cole in the apartment.” He staggered away from the door.
I stared into his eyes. They were set and determined, even as he wavered on his feet. Humph.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to fight anymore.
We stumbled through the mess until we hit the largest couch in the library. I dropped my stuff at my feet and collapsed on the sofa cushions. Yeah, victory!
Brent blinked down at me, his feet shuffling in the ruins. I sighed. “Well, come on.” I lifted my arms wide. He grinned. Tilting to the left, he fell on top of me, groaning.
“I’ve missed you, darlin’,” he exhaled into my hair.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I ran my fingers through his curls, twirling them absently.
We lay quietly, both lost in our own thoughts.
Time passed peacefully. Neither of us needed to speak. The blessed benefits of knowing, and loving, someone for so long.
After a long spell, he propped himself up, cupping my cheek. His eyes danced back and forth between mine. “I want…” his voice trailed off. “You’re too drunk.” He seesawed over me. “Hell, I’m too drunk.”
I knew what he wanted. It was evident from the bulge in his pants that was snug against my thigh. Amazing, but even drunk, the man had always been able to get it up. I shut my eyes, debating. It took all of a second.
“How many have there been, Brent?” I asked.
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Four. Three out of the country and the lady you saw tonight. I didn’t lie before. None of them were serious. I found solace with them. That’s all.”
“Four since we last saw one another? Our four since we graduated?” I wanted to be sure. I knew he had slept with other women while he was in the Army. We hadn’t promised one another we would wait for each other then.
“Four since graduation,” he spoke honestly, even if slurred. “I didn’t know if…” He sighed and kissed my forehead. “It was such a long wait.”
Yes. It had been. Five years was a horrible amount of time to ask someone to put their love life on hold.
But…I had. All except for tonight.
If the circumstances had been different, and I hadn’t been stuck in Hell for the past nine years, would I have had the fortitude to postpone happiness?
That thought stopped me.
Look at what I had done with Cole the second night I had been in a big city. My eyes shut.
It was possible I was being unreasonable.
“And you?” he probed, stress lines bracketing his familiar mouth.
“Only Cole,” I whispered. “I thought you had moved on, like Ally did.”
He grimaced and turned his head. “Then it’s my fault. Not yours.”
That was one of the reasons I loved him. He could be heartbreakingly selfless at times.
“No. It was my choice,” I told him sternly, trying to ignore the heat that his body was putting off.
He gently shook his head, eyes back on mine. Green on blue.
Earth on Sky.
Nature on Force.
Past on Past.
Leisurely, they traced down my face, where they halted at my lips. They didn’t falter. He had found what he wanted. What he craved.
What I craved.
With painstaking slowness, he descended.
I lifted a finger, tracing over his cheek, memorizing his face all over again.
Large, expressive eyes that sweet love still shone from, crooked nose from a fistfight when Tommy Joe had stolen Ally’s lunch when we were nine, lopsided smile that could even make Principal Hager not call out parents when we were caught ditching class for the sixth time, straight white teeth that had taken four years of braces to earn the right to look that good, and a strong, determined jaw attesting that he loved arguing more than conceding.
My heart clenched. The room span. I hoped it was the alcohol.
Finally, oh, so finally, his delicious lips whispered over mine, the lightest touch, memories of old lovers.
Brent moaned deep in his throat…and we fell into one another.
Lips grazed, tongues stroked – ignoring the liquored clumsiness – we came home…
but, different. For the second time tonight my world exploded from a man’s caress.
I gasped and he caught it tenderly with his loving mouth.
Hands entwined in each other’s hair, he slowly lifted his mouth from mine, groaning as we separated.
He panted and blinked, then moved desire filled eyes to mine.
“I understand if you don’t want to, darlin’.
” Gentle hands and muscles clenched, his body started to tremble as he whispered, “I won’t be mad.
But you need to tell me to stop now. ‘Cause if you don’t, we’re goin’ to be naked in a heartbeat.
” Forest green eyes snapped to mine. “But don’t expect me to quit trying in the future.
I meant what I said before. You’re mine, Ember Lerrus. You always have been.”
My hands fell to his cheeks. I held his face steady while I gave him the truth of something I had only just realized during our embrace.
Better late than never, I suppose. “Brent, I’m not yours.
I haven’t been for a very long time. We barely even know each other anymore.
I didn’t even know the names of your best friends. That should tell us both somethin’.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly and he rubbed his forehead, teetering.
I needed to get to the point. “I love who we were. But, we don’t have a current “us”.
All we have is the past.” It broke my heart, but as soon as I made voice to my inner ramblings the room stopped spinning and straightened out.
Huh. Who knew an epiphany could affect your equilibrium.
Brent’s eyes hardened and his mouth snapped shut. We stared at one another endlessly. Both our jaws set determinedly. I wonder if he had dental insurance. He needed it. I held back a giggle by pure force of will. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed facing off with him.
Something passed behind his eyes that I didn’t catch and his lips tilted up at one corner, lopsided gorgeousness. I bit my lip. Oh, he may be a changed man in many ways, but cripes, the good parts had stayed the same.
“I reckon your right. I won’t argue with you on that point.” He brushed a piece of my hair off my forehead, murmuring, “We’ll just have to get to know one another, again.” His smile deepened. “It could be fun.”
Then his lips were on mine.
And I agreed. Yeah, it could be fun.