Chapter Fifteen #2
I tried to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head.
Being around these two for almost two weeks and having no “play time” what-so-ever was starting to wreak havoc on libido.
All I had to do was look at them and I was wet and ready in a heartbeat.
They were desirable and all…male…and they made me want to strip down bare, spread my legs, and say “Come and get me!”.
But, instead I had to be a good little girl, so the other didn’t get all ticked off.
It was turning me into a major snatch. I had been so snippy with everyone for the last two days that Stash and Chloe had actually tried to avoid me tonight.
I was in need and couldn’t do a darn thing about it.
I’m not real big on masturbation, either.
Sure, it’s nice while it lasts, but it always leaves me feeling a little empty inside.
Kinda like if I were to go see the fireworks on the Fourth of July, but instead it got rained out after the first explosion of lights.
Yeah, it happened, but it was still a major let down.
“Ember?” Brent asked quietly.
Startled, my eyes snapped open – when had I shut them? – and I glanced from Brent to Cole and back. They were looking at me funny. All I could do was mutter, “Huh?”
Cole cleared his throat quietly. “You were moaning, sweetheart.”
Even as my face flushed, I shut my eyes. This had to end sometime. I think I was killing them right along with myself. I needed to know.
I squared my shoulders and opened my eyes. I moved away from Brent, placing the knife carefully at the foot of the bed. I met Cole’s gaze steadily and stated, “I’m sorry if this hurts you to see, but I have to.”
As my words sunk in, I watched his eyes turned guarded, knowing what I was about to do he wouldn’t like. But, I didn’t stop. I knew what I felt with Cole. I needed to see if the same was there with Brent still. There’s love, but then there’s love.
I turned to Brent, who watched me carefully. Slowly, I padded back over to him, pressing my satin covered breasts to his bare chest. I watched my hands glide over his heated biceps, up over his strong shoulders, and into his blond curls. I fisted his hair and met his eyes.
His sweet breath fanned over my face while he stood stock still.
He trembled slightly and his eyes were still cautious.
For all of his tough nature he was still that scared little boy that had been left so long ago.
And he knew what I was doing. He could feel it in the way I held him and he could see it in my eyes.
Ever so slowly, his hands rested on my hips. His trembling increased. I wondered frantically if it wasn’t going to be the same. Especially, now that I knew his private fear. How I would handle it? How he would handle it? It terrified me.
But…his green eyes gradually cleared, and pure, untainted love shone through right along with a smidgen of his weariness.
His trembling decreased and he slipped his thumbs under my waist line and tugged me tight against him.
His eyes slowly took in my face and he smiled gently, and tenderly, he stated, “I’m not going anywhere, darlin’.
So whatever you’re thinking, just push it away. ”
My breath caught at the certainty in his loving words.
He bent down, circling his arms around me and wrapping me tight into his warmth.
His world. His universe. His life. He was letting me see him and everything he had to give.
His soft lips landed on mine and he stroked unhurriedly, taking his time exploring my lips, brushing back and forth and licking across my bottom lip.
I wanted to cry in relief as I felt him. Felt him.
And then he felt me. As I started to tremble way worse than he had been, he took control.
His fingers tightened on my healed ribs as he pushed.
Seeking. Wanting. Needing. Determined. Unbreakable.
I slowly opened for him and he lunged for what he wanted.
As his tongue sought out mine, he twirled us, pressing me back against the wall, sheltering me as his hand came up to grip my jaw and tilt my head, pushing even farther.
Until I surrendered.
Caught and captured.
He had me and he knew it.
He didn’t gloat. He only continued to destroy any remaining resistance I might have guarded against my soul being caught by two men.
His tongue slid and danced with mine, sucking gently until mine slid into his mouth, and then greedily.
I lost any remaining struggle, feeling our souls intertwine.
I whimpered and released his hair, grabbing his shoulders and digging my short nails in so he would stay close. I needed him on such a different level.
Unfortunately, I also needed another man, too.
Brent slowly brought me back down, kissing and caressing me in a relaxing rhythm. Petting me on an intimate level as if he knew I was about ready to break from lust and love. He leaned back and kissed my closed eyes and my forehead gently. I shuddered and my lips trembled.
When my eyes fluttered open I met Brent for what felt like the first time.
No holds bars, the unedited version, almost the same as what I knew growing up, but so different in many ways.
He hid nothing from me. The forest stared back at me.
Wild and untamed and flawed. And he was mine. The same as I was his.
But, I also belonged to someone else.
I rested my head against his chest and he held me until I stopped trembling.
He stepped back slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. Brent didn’t take his eyes from mine even as he ran his hands through his hair. My lips trembled again as I made myself look at the other man I loved. The man I’m sure I had just hurt, trying to decide.
Cole was still where he had been before, leaning back against the headboard, laptop on his lap.
He had one arm crossed over his bare abdomen, resting an elbow there while he covered his mouth haphazardly with his hand.
I could still see his mouth through his spread fingers and could tell his jaw was clenched tight.
And he stared at me.
His eyes bore into mine. There was no ice there. He was bare to me, too, as he studied me. Sluggishly, he dropped his hand and muttered, “Shit.”
Yeah. I agreed wholeheartedly.
“Even after that you can’t decide,” Cole stated. It wasn’t a question.
“No, she can’t,” Brent groaned. He fell back on the bed. “She loves us both.”
“Shit.” Cole took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Shower…I’m going to take a shower,” I mumbled and raced toward the bathroom.
As I closed the door, I heard Cole state, “We need to talk.”
Brent sighed. “Yeah, it looks like we do.”
I locked the door and jumped under the scalding spray as fast as I could.
Clarity had just skewed by best intentions.
It was undeniably clear now. I loved two men.
And unless one of them left me, I couldn’t pick.
The awful part was, if one of them did decide to bail, I knew a part of me would never recover.
The room was dark when I opened the door. My heart jumped to a crazy scared beat at the darkness. I fumbled for the light switch I had turned off before opening the door, asking frantically, “Brent? Cole?”
Had they left me? Had they both had enough? Somehow, even though I would be in Hell, I wouldn’t blame them. There’s no way I would be able to stick around like they had been if another female was involved.
“Guys?!” I hollered, stumbling against the door and feeling for the stupid dimmer switch in the bathroom.
“Ember?” Brent grumbled, flicking on the bedside lamp.
Cole rolled over and sat up, blinking in the light. Go figure, my hand finally hit the darn light in the bathroom, turning that one on, too. Both held their hands up over their eyes, squinting at me. Cole asked, “What’s wrong?”
I stood there dumbly. Glanced at the clock. I had been in the shower for over forty minutes. I hadn’t even realized how long I had allowed myself to drown in self-pity. That couldn’t be healthy.
“Nothing. Sorry.” I hit the darn light switch again, turning it back off, and stopped. “You both fell asleep.”
“And I’d like to get back there,” Brent complained. “Hurry up and get in bed so I can turn the light off.”
I moved forward like an automated robot, stating to no one in particular, “You fell asleep without me.”
“When you take a shower long enough for four people…well, yeah,” Cole griped and flopped back down and held the covers up for me.
I climbed in, and still on autopilot, pecked Brent, and then Cole.
Brent turned the light off and they both rolled toward me.
Cole’s cheek rested on my shoulder and his arm wrapped around my waist. Brent’s face was practically touching mine where he shared my pillow, his leg thrown over both of mine and a hand resting over one of my breasts.
I blinked and they were sound asleep, snoring softly. Very confusing. The ceiling I stared at offered no insight.