Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Isabel picked me up bright and early this morning with a pearly white smile on her face and two cups of coffee clutched in her fists. As promised, she didn’t ask me what I was doing on my secret errand or why I was upset afterward, but she did spend the whole ride back to my house pestering me for more details about what I overheard Ryker saying on the phone last night.
“Hold up,” Isabel shrieks, her silky black hair fanning out around her golden-brown shoulders as she throws herself onto my rust-brown linen bedspread. “Start from the beginning and this time tell me with excruciating detail.”
I toss my purse onto the floor and kick off my boots before belly flopping onto the bed beside her. “Please don’t make me repeat it,” I whine through an exaggerated sigh. “It’s already bad enough that Ryker suspects it was me on the porch. Forcing me to relive the embarrassment is just cruel.”
Ears burning, I bury my face in the comforter.
“Fine, but I still can’t get over the fact that he was having phone sex in your front yard,” she says, flicking my forehead and flooding my senses with her jasmine perfume. “I guess it makes sense, though.”
I rise onto my elbows. “What do you mean?”
“Ryker and my cousin go to the same university…” Isabel hums thoughtfully. “Let’s just say I’ve heard a few things about him.”
I don’t want to be interested, but I find myself leaning in. “Like what?”
“Well,” she wiggles her perfectly shaped eyebrows, “apparently Ryker is quite the sought-after commodity on campus.”
“Why? He’s so…” I recoil, struggling to find the right word. “ Aggravating .”
Isabel laughs. “Magic fingers. Massive co?—”
“Shut up,” I barely manage to cough out, too busy choking on my own spit. “How could you possibly know that?”
“My cousin and Ryker used to mess around. I got the whole rundown a few months ago.” Isabel sits up, nodding her head rapidly as if to reiterate her earnestness. “When she found out he was from Deadwood, she called to ask me a few questions.”
“What did you say?”
“That he was already gone by the time I moved here and I really didn’t know anything about the guy.” She shrugs. “After that phone call, though, I know too much.” She grabs my hand and lowers her voice conspiratorially. “The first time they had sex, he blindfolded her, tied her hands behind her back, and made her explode like a pleasure pinata for several hours. One orgasm after another.”
Isabel pantomimes an explosion with her hand.
“ Hours ?” I swallow audibly and rise to a seated position. “Do people really like that?”
“Everyone likes coming, Willa,” she replies with an eye roll.
Considering how, despite my best efforts, I’ve had exactly one orgasm that I accidentally gave myself when I woke up humping one of my decorative pillows after a particularly vivid dream about a Henry Cavill look-alike ranch hand next door… I’ll have to take her word for it .
“I meant being tied up,” I clarify, cheeks and ears ablaze. “I thought that was just a porn thing.”
“Oh, right. I’m not into it, but everyone has their kinks. If you’d put yourself out there a little more, we’d know what yours were…” She winks, but something in my chest deflates at the subtle dig.
Isabel is barely two years older than me, but sometimes those two years feel like a decade. Lately, I’ve found myself wondering if she really wants me to move to Austin or if there’s a part of her that’s worried I’ll hold her back there the same way I do here. Then the small voice in my head whispers that we’re only friends because she feels sorry for the poor little broken girl in town…
“Anyway,” Isabel says after a drawn out pause, “how long is Ryker staying?”
Grateful for the change of subject, I clear the tightness in my throat and lean against the forest-green wall. “I don’t know. A few days, maybe?”
I’d gotten up early to make Dad breakfast and a sandwich for work, only to find him having coffee with Ryker in the kitchen. After slinking back into the hallway unseen, I’d spent the rest of the morning hiding in my bedroom until Isabel came to get me.
Dropping my eyes to the comforter, I smooth my palm across the soft fabric. “I never should have tried to apologize. I’ll probably just lock myself inside my room until he’s gone.”
“There’s no way I’m letting you miss the eclipse party because of some stupid boy,” Isabel says, tucking a loose strand of onyx hair behind her ear. “If he and Noah are going to be gallivanting all over town for a few days, that just means I don’t have to share you. Come on, is there anything we can knock out on that list of yours before we head to the Springs?”
I pinch my lips to the side. “You could hold Cooper Blackthorne down while I smack him across the mouth?”
“ Ooo , kinky.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Let’s do it.”
I let loose my first genuine laugh of the day, leaning forward and clutching my belly to quell the hardy ache .
Isabel’s face pales, and I sober, glancing down at my now-bared shoulder and the raised pinkish-white flesh exposed there. By some miracle, my sweater sleeve only slipped enough to flash the very top of the bruise from Beau and she doesn’t seem to notice the contusion—which means maybe I didn’t waste twenty minutes hiding it beneath two pounds of makeup after all.
Isabel clears her throat. “Are you going to wear your new bikini to the party?” she asks in a feeble attempt to regain some normalcy after being caught staring.
I sit up, sliding my sweater into place before responding. “I think so.”
She still can’t seem to tear her eyes away from my now-covered shoulder, which does nothing to ease the jittery feeling bouncing around in my stomach. While I’m well aware of my body dysmorphia issues, I can also admit being friends with someone as beautiful as Isabel doesn’t make things any easier.
My eyes drop to the light-blue bikini popping out of her pale-pink summer dress, both colors perfectly complementing the golden-brown hue of her flawless skin. Everything about her—from her silky black hair to her perky boobs, pert little nose, and perfectly manicured toes—is lively and vibrant.
Me, on the other hand… Well, my nose is small and a bit too pointy, my boobs too big for my frame, and the dark clothes I wear tend to make me look even paler than I already am. It also doesn’t help that the same scars on my back travel out onto my shoulders and creep up into my scalp. The scars on my head aren’t nearly as severe as the others, but they still turned sections of what should be brown hair in my bangs and the nape of my neck stark white…like I’m the freaking Bride of Frankenstein.
I rise from the bed and head for the armchair, trying with all my might to ignore the hot feeling of Isabel’s gaze glued to my back. She’s only seen the full extent of my scars once during a sleepover, but it was enough. A year later and I still catch her staring like she can see the gnarled flesh beneath my clothes.
I grab the bikini, stomach souring as I slide the silky material through my fingers. If my only friend looks at me like that, how am I going to have the nerve to be in my swimwear in front of a third of the town? Especially after this morning’s errand already shook my confidence.
Maybe the eclipse party was a bad idea…
After a long stretch of silence, Isabel shifts on the comforter. “Do they still hurt?”
I close my eyes for the briefest second before answering. “Sometimes.”
The doctors say the sporadic jolts of pain I occasionally experience while falling asleep are caused by nerve damage, but my back also hurts anytime it’s particularly cold and with any overly taxing upper-body workout. I keep that to myself, though, because I’m grateful she’s asking at all. No one ever asks. Most people take one look at my scars and assume they already know everything about me. Not Isabel.
Her family moved here during her junior year, after I’d already started homeschooling. So when she found me hiding out in the garden during Noah’s seventeenth birthday party, she had no idea who I was or what had happened to me.
Instead of making new friends and sneaking beers inside with everyone else, Isabel spent the next few hours giving me omegaverse book recommendations and reminding me what it felt like to laugh by describing fictional characters’ schlongs in explicit detail while I yanked out weeds. We’ve been friends ever since.
Isabel stands from the bed abruptly. “I don’t think you should cover up anymore,” she says firmly. “Fuck what people think. If anyone says anything, I’ll stab them.”
I laugh, but it comes out awkward and forced. I know she didn’t mean any harm by it, but her initial unfiltered reaction to seeing just a hint of my scars was a good reminder of what I’ll be in for at the Springs, and I suddenly find myself doubling down on the idea that I shouldn’t go.
“Let’s take this one step at a time. I need to get through today first.”
She nods like she understands—which of course she doesn’t, but I appreciate the sentiment.
An hour later, I’ve finally worked up the courage to slip on the cowboy boot–dotted bikini. It only takes one twirl in the mirror for me to immediately cover it with an old pair of jean shorts and one of Noah’s long-sleeve fishing shirts with UV protectant woven into the fabric. It’s not exactly the most breathable shirt for such a warm day, but I’m hoping that motivates me to take it off.
Once Isabel finishes touching up my hair, we load a cooler with plenty of water and a few beers she stole from her older brother before shoving the oversized icebox into the tiny trunk of her pale-yellow Volkswagen Bug. Then, much to Isabel’s protest, I head back inside to use the restroom.
I don’t actually need to pee, the same way I didn’t need Isabel to fix my hair earlier, I just panicked when I couldn’t think of another excuse to keep us here… But now that I’m inside—wringing my hands as I watch Isabel through the window while she patiently taps her sandaled foot and tries not to look annoyed—it’s all too apparent that I’m being a shitty friend.
With a sigh, I step out onto the porch and lock the front door, freezing mid key-turn when a car door slams and my brother’s unmistakable laugh rings out like a bell behind me, followed by Ryker’s smoky chuckle.
Panicked, I clutch Isabel’s arm with a death grip as I teeter between fumbling with the keys and vaulting myself over the side railing.
“Isabel,” I plead, my nails digging into her flesh, “get me out of here.”
Eyes wide and locked in the direction of the driveway, she shakes her head. “Holy shit. That’s the infamous Ryker? I think you and my cousin might’ve left out a major detail in your stories…”
“Keep your voice down,” I hiss. “I didn’t leave anything out.”
“Uh, yes , you did.” I turn as she gestures to Ryker, whose black hair and sharp cheekbones are highlighted in silver and gold from the early afternoon sun. “He’s freaking gorgeous .” Isabel sighs. “I totally get it now. I’d be an eavesdropping perv too if?—”
“ Isabel !” I clamp my hand over her mouth, but it’s too late.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Isabel Castillo.” Noah bounds up the steps, taking her hand and spinning her once. “Look at you, darlin’. Where do you think you’re goin’ dressed like that?”
I roll my eyes. Noah flirts with everyone—and I mean everyone . Doesn’t matter if he’s not interested or doesn’t have a shot in hell, he just can’t help himself.
Isabel rips her arm away and takes a step toward me. “I’ll go wherever I damn well please, and I’d appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself.”
Stumbling backward, my brother clutches his heart. “You wound me.”
The two of them continue bickering, but the only thing I can concentrate on is the tightening of my chest as Ryker draws closer.
Oh God. He’s going to call me out in front of my brother for spying on him…
My stomach churns. I’m dreading his first dig of the day so much that each of his booted footsteps feel like they’re shaking the deck beneath my feet.
Ryker saunters over and leans against the railing with a smirk, like he enjoys watching me squirm. I can practically taste his amusement in the air—citrusy and bright, like the orange juice he and Noah polished off this morning without leaving any for me.
“Is that Isabel?” he asks after a moment of tortuous anticipation.
My shoulders slump in relief at the same time something bitter and green snakes around my rib cage. I push the second feeling away, instead clinging to the hope that maybe he doesn’t know I overheard him after all.
“Yep, that’s Isabel,” I say, popping the p . “Why?”
He makes an amused humming noise that instantly puts me on high alert. “I go to school with her cousin, Jenny. That’s who I was on the phone with last night.”
My stomach drops, but I even out my expression and respond as dryly as humanly possible. “How interesting.”
I can’t tell if Ryker’s baiting me or not, but I decide to try to steer him toward a safer topic of conversation. “Listen, I want to thank you for saving me from Beau and not ratting me out to my dad. I also want to apologize for how I acted last night. After the day you had, you didn’t need?—”
“Save it.”
I take a step backward, the force of his dismissal sucking the air right out of my lungs.
“ Save it ?” I repeat. My fists ball at my side, my previous shock bleeding into annoyance. “You’re seriously refusing my apology?”
He shrugs. “Words are cheap.”
I catch a flash of silver as he fishes something out of his pocket, and my entire body stiffens a moment later at the distinct click of a lighter flicking to life. I close my eyes, turning my head slightly to avoid the glow of the flame from Ryker’s silver boot-shaped lighter while praying he didn’t notice my reaction.
Oblivious to my plight, he strikes the spark wheel again, causing my muscles to lock up tighter and tighter until I’m rigid as a board.
Relax. It’s just a tiny flame , I remind myself, but there’s a wall of fire dancing behind my closed eyelids, the heat of which licks across my back, singeing my hair and lungs.
My keys fall from my hand, clattering onto the deck.
Heartbeat thrashing against my temples, I force my eyes open and suck in a breath. The sudden influx of rich tobacco burns as it slides down my throat, but it also smothers the thoughts of fire in a way that would almost be a relief if it wasn’t making my head swim .
Out of habit, I inhale again, like the psychiatrist suggested I do whenever I feel disoriented or overwhelmed, but the potent aroma of smoke is so suffocating it amplifies the hazy feeling in my brain.
I sway when the porch shifts beneath my feet, but it’s not until a rough hand clamps around my bicep that I realize it’s not the deck teetering, it’s me .
“Willa?” Ryker’s deep voice sounds through the fog.
“Oh no,” Isabel shrieks, stomping over and snatching the cigarette straight out of Ryker’s mouth. “What’s wrong with you, asshole?” Her furious face blurs while she tosses the confiscated item into the yard, coming back into focus again as she fans my cheeks, slowly replacing the smoke smell with hints of jasmine. “Do you need to sit?”
I shake my head, but Noah is already pushing over the wooden rocking bench from the opposite corner. “Come on, Wills, we’ve talked about this. Bend your fucking knees or you’ll pass out.”
“I’m fine.” I attempt to wave him off, but the motion causes me to stumble.
Ryker’s grip on my arm tightens while Isabel’s frown deepens.
“Willa, just sit for a minute,” she begs.
“I said I’m fine.”
At my second refusal, Isabel and Noah begin arguing over how to get me onto the bench. I expect Ryker to join them, or at the very least shove me onto the seat, but he doesn’t. He just stands there, silently making sure I don’t fall.
Part of my brain screams for me to push him away, but there’s another part that appreciates how he isn’t babying me or trying to force me into the chair like Isabel and my brother.
When I tilt my chin to look up at him, he’s staring at me with a heavy brow. “Was it the lighter or the smoke?”
“Both, I think.” I don’t mean to give him an honest answer, but I’m still feeling a bit woozy and it just sort of slips out. I also can’t stop watching the rapid movement of his moss-green eyes roaming over my face or the way the muscles in his jaw keep pulsing .
With his gaze still locked on mine, I clear my throat. “You can let go now.”
Ryker’s attention drops to my arm, his eyebrows lifting like he’s surprised to find he’s still holding on to me. One by one, his fingers unfurl. And when he finally lets go, I have to rub the spot where his hand was to get my circulation going again.
Isabel swipes my keys off the deck and swoops in, her mouth pinching to the side as she links her arm through mine. “Maybe the Springs was a bad idea. We could watch the eclipse from here instead? I still have to work later, so it’s not like I could stay the whole time anyway.”
“Wait, what? Willa’s not going to the eclipse party,” Noah says with a laugh.
“Yes, I am,” I snap, ripping my arm away from Isabel. I was about to take her up on her offer, but my brother’s response just changed my mind. “The next eclipse isn’t for another twenty years. You guys can stay if you want to, but I’m not missing this.”
“Willa.” Noah’s blond mustache puffs as he exhales and lowers his voice. “There will be barbecues and lots of drinking. A third of the town is going to be there?—”
“ Noah ,” I say in the same patronizing tone, “I’m going. End of discussion.”
A smile creeps back over Isabel’s beautiful lips as she grabs my arm. “Well then, let’s get out of here before either of these boys tries to stop us.”
Noah curses under his breath while Isabel leads me to the car.
“Listen, man,” he grumbles a few seconds later, “I know you’re pissed that Kane refused to see you again, but would you mind if we headed to Widowmaker Springs for a few hours? I don’t want Willa there without backup.”
Palm on the handle of Isabel’s Volkswagen, I wait for Ryker’s answer. When none comes, I risk the tiniest peek over my shoulder.
The corner of his mouth kicks up into a mischievous grin when our eyes meet. “Sure, let’s see what kind of trouble we can get into.”