24. Xu Furen
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"Xiao Yan." Zhang Cheng greeted, settling himself beside Xu Weiyan in the Garden.
He looked at the servants gathered and smiled charmingly at them.
"I know she plays the pipa like a fairy, but go about your business and let us discuss."
The maids flushed as they bowed and left with the other servants, twittering among themselves.
But Tong stepped forward quickly. "1st Young Master Zhang, how can you let yourself in unannounced? Not only that, but isn't it uncourteous to suddenly force your company on 3rd Miss?"
Zhang Cheng glared at Tong. "This busy-body! Did you forget your place?!"
"My apologies!" Tong bowed with no sincerity. "But after yesterday's Scandal, your presence will only feed rumours!"
Zhang Cheng scowled in anger. "Xiaoyan, won't you discipline your maid?!"
Weiyan's fingers paused on the pipa.
She was clearly annoyed, but didn't want Tong having enemies.
"A-Tong? Leave us. Help me set my things in order."
Tong bowed and left them alone.
Weiyan set the pipa aside and bowed her head. "1st Young Master Zhang." She greeted.
Zhang Cheng sighed. "XiaoYan, I've often asked you to call me 'Cheng gē ge', but you insist on being distant. My heart breaks, especially after recent events."
Weiyan bowed her head. "'Mortals yearn for rain, but the heavens decide whether to give it. Two might seem destined, but the heavens decide whether to split them apart'."
"Such cruel words! Will you never return my love? We can always take destiny into our own hands!
"I'm willing to fight for our love, and I already spoke with Sect Leader Xu. He says the decision is yours!"
Weiyan's eyebrows dipped ever-so-slightly. 'Shouldn't he have discussed with me first?'
But she simply bowed again.
"1st Young Master Zhang, please ignore me. You are too far above my reach."
Zhang Cheng hid his frustration. "I don't care about that! Why not hold my hand instead? I'll give you my name and everything you want! I'll give you a good life, and love only you!
"Please marry me!"
Weiyan raised an eyebrow. 'Hmph. After all my hard work...?'
After hearing about Zhang Cheng and Linhua from Tong, Weiyan knew Linhua would do anything to get Zhang Cheng back, so that day beneath the pine, as Luoyin pulled Weiyan away, she had turned to Linhua and sent her a smug smile, deliberately taunting her.
She was certain Xu Linhua would be moved to act, but she didn't know she would go as far as ...
The unbidden image of a shirtless Luoyin lying beside her slid right into her mind.
"Ahem." At present, Weiyan flushed a little and gave another bow. "1st Young Master Zhang, I assumed you would be pleased with recent events. If I'm out of the way, you can finally be with my older sister."
Shock nearly sent Zhang Cheng's eyebrows into his hairline, but he quickly caught himself.
"Ahem! About Xiaohu-, Er-- about Linhua, do not misunderstand. I and Linhua were once engaged, so naturally we remained friends to foster familial harmony. It's nothing more! I will cut ties with her, if you decide to marry me!"
Xu Weiyan gave a final bow. "1st Young Master Zhang, I must excuse myself to-."
"Hao! You always excuse yourself!" Zhang Cheng finally showed his annoyance. "How about we settle this like cultivators?!
"Let's have a duel! If I win, you must tell Sect Leader Xu that you want to marry me!"
Weiyan was a bit taken aback. "Isn't that an unfair advantage in your favour? I'm not yet your opponent. I must decline."
"Oh?" Zhang Cheng smirked. "I guess I will have to challenge my little brother!"
Weiyan's eyes narrowed, but he didn't notice and kept talking. "If I challenge Luoy -."
"Pointless." Weiyan cut him off. "If you want to duel, let's duel tomorrow."
"Hao! Don't be a coward and go running to Sect Leader Xu." Zhang Cheng said with a grin. "Xiao Yan, don't worry!" He rose to leave.
"Even though you rejected me, I'll still treat you well after our wedding! Ahahahahaha!"
Weiyan could still hear his laughter after he left, and a rare scowl settled on her face as she resumed playing the pipa.
She ignored the waves that flew from the instrument, feeling a cruel pleasure as it sliced a few of the flowers in the garden, but she stopped herself when the last wave nearly killed one of the fishes.
"Hmph." She dropped the pipa and sighed, forcing her emotions under control.
"A-Yan."
Weiyan turned to see Xu Furen approaching with a maid who carried a small tray.
"Mother." She swiftly rose, cupped her hands and bowed.
"Sit." Xu Furen said, settling herself. She gestured for the maid, and a bowl of warm soup was placed in her hands.
"I made you some eave-flower soup. It will help rejuvenate you after the difficult year you've had."
"Thank you, mother." Weiyan politely accepted the bowl with both hands.
She was weary of drinking the soup, but she automatically blew on a spoonful and drank it. "It's delicious." She politely said, and then drank the entire thing.
Weiyan respected her mother a good deal.
It was clear Xu Furen did not like her, yet she always ensured Weiyan was well fed and clothed, and Weiyan was never bullied in her presence.
This made Weiyan immensely grateful.
In the past, whenever Xu Furen personally handed her soup or tea, a single sniff always told her it was poisoned.
It was usually a sleeping drug to prevent Weiyan from attending any event where she would outperform Linhua or Haoyuan, but Weiyan, who already felt grateful for merely existing in the household, always drank it without saying anything, and even went as far as hiding her talents by herself.
But then Lord Xu eventually found out and chastised her.
"I refuse to raise or praise people who do not achieve greatness on their own merit! You are doing your siblings a disservice, if you do not allow them the chance to grow and challenge you fair and square!"
After that Lord Xu had personally overseen Weiyan's training, which eventually led to her title, and to all the envy and angst that had followed in the past three years.
When Weiyan 'took Linhua's fiance away', it was the last straw for Xu Furen, and she instigated the Clan Elders, arranging for Weiyan to go to Mount Caoyang.
It was cruel, given Weiyan's age, but no one knew Xu Furen had spoken to her before she left.
"Do not challenge Caoyang." Xu Furen had warned, as she personally packed essentials for Weiyan. "I advise you to 'get lost' on your way there. You're talented and can easily join any Sect and rise to the top elsewhere.
"But if you ignore my words and successfully conquer Caoyang by some divine miracle, then become a citizen of Sky Realm!
"You can go on and become Sky Emperor, Ruler of Two Realms, for all I care. I'm not against your success, as long as you're not threatening A-Yuan and A-Lin in their own home!"
At present, Weiyan glanced at the empty bowl.
Not only had she returned, but she was now more prominent than ever... Could she blame Xu Furen for poisoning her?
Xu Furen's sigh drew her attention.
"A-Yan, you suspected I poisoned the soup, yet you drank it... I've wronged you all these years, haven't I?" Xu Furen asked quietly.
Weiyan drew in a surprised breath. Not once did she expect her mother to know her thoughts. Had she somehow given herself away?
Her knees hit the floor, she cupped her hands and bowed again. "Mother, I have displeased you."
Xu Furen's features showed a mild regret, as she helped Weiyan to her feet.
"I never said I was displeased. Did you think I never knew?" She guided Weiyan back to sit. "I've learned to read your expressions through the years. You knew my intentions each time, yet you never hesitated to drink them...
"But you are getting married soon. I wanted to hand you at least one bowl of soup with clear intentions."
Weiyan's eyes narrowed in uncertainty... She had no idea what to do or say.
Xu Furen looked out at the garden. "Situations like this must be confusing to you, as you're not the expressive sort.
"Through the years you've existed like a shadow, never asking anything, taking only whatever you were given, and only doing whatever I, or your father, or even your siblings wanted.
"You locked away your own emotions and desires, never letting even the slightest displeasure show on your face, and I'm mostly to blame."
"Mother, please don't say such things... I never felt that way!"
"That is because I never let you!" Xu Furen turned back to her with wet eyes. "The fact that you still see me as 'good', is the problem here..."
As a toddler, Weiyan had been a bit more animated. She was at least a usual child who smiled a lot, cried when hurt, and ran to Xu Furen with her worries.
But that was when Xu Furen herself began to change...
At the time, Lord Xu was more fond of Weiyan than he had been of Linhua and Haoyuan when they were that age. To compound the issue, outsiders were beginning to remark on Weiyan's natural beauty and talent, and Xu Furen found herself drowned in endless snide comments:
"The wandering seed will outgrow the rooted tree."
"The adopted phoenix will soon overshadow the chicks."
"The river stone will outshine the family jade."
"The stray will surpass the real heirs..."
It was endless...
Xu Furenhad remained kind to Weiyan, but turned blind eyes and deaf ears to whatever A-Yuan or A-Lin did to her out of their own jealousy.
She also never assured Weiyan that she belonged to this family, and she let her listen to whatever the elders, servants, or outsiders were saying.
Then she began to show her displeasure whenever Weiyan complained...
"Isn't that cruel?" Xu Furen was asking at present. "You clearly felt the hatred and injustice, but my kindness would tie your heart, never letting you express yourself. And you never even complained to your father, because you knew it might hurt or displease me.
"As you grew, you learned to hide everything away, living like a petal blown about in the breeze, your fate decided by those around you..."
Weiyan was awash with long buried emotions, and her eyes watered. Still she pushed back the tears and bit her her lip shut, proving exactly what Xu Furen was saying.
It was a habit by now... The habit of simply burying her emotions.
"I regret it, but that is also selfish." A tear ran down Xu Furen's face. "I only repented after recent events... You deliberately let yourself fall into A-Lin's trap, didn't you? There's no way you didn't know she poisoned your wine that night..."
Weiyan resisted the urge to gasp aloud.
She had indeed known Xu Linhua had poisoned her wine, and she felt uncomfortable that Xu Furen could suddenly see through her.
Had she underestimated Xu Furen so much through the years?!
Her flush was telling and Xu Furen smiled, wiping the tear away.
"I'm not sure whether you did it for me or A-Lin, but I'm sure you never wanted to marry Zhang Cheng. I could feel it. So I won't be worried... After all, you and Zhang Luoyin were once like two peas in a pod."
Xu Furen rose to leave. "I also won't ask your forgiveness... It would be too shameless of me at this point, so I'll simply give you the core marriage advice.
"Be happy. Don't embarrass your parents' family. Don't embarrass your husband's family. Thrive wherever you go, and live a fulfilling life. Be respectful. Don't forget the teachings and wise sayings. You are stronger than Zhang Luoyin, but don't forget your place as a wife.
She turned away. "Be humble, be dutiful. Cultivate when you should, and perform your wifely duties when you should. Have children and raise them according to the rites and virtues. Do you understand?"
"Yes. Thank you, mother." Weiyan forced out, her voice barely audible.
Xu Furen walked away, leaving Weiyan to her thoughts.
What was she to feel now?
Resentment? Regret? Relief?
She watched a lone petal caught in a mild breeze, and she sighed.
She had indeed buried her emotions for so long...
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