101. Payback!
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'This was not how it was supposed to go!' Luoyin thought bitterly, watching brilliant fireworks explode above Yue City, each one, a loud but silent insult to his dignity...
...
..
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It all started at dawn.
Two lovers had spent the night tossing and turning - not in each other's arms, but in neighboring courtyards, separated by walls, furniture, designs, and most importantly...
Their own minds!
Having not slept for two nights in a row, Luoyin had prominent dark shadows beneath his eyes, yet he was presently training in his courtyard, spinning in graceful arcs, and his sword was sweeping or striking out with almost every move, his brilliant blue aura fanning outwards.
He rose up into the air with a graceful spin, and brought his sword down in a swift swing, sending a fierce wind across the entire courtyard.
The aura faded and he floated down, his feet gently touching the ground.
By now, he had remastered everything the original Luoyin had ever learned, and combined with his own knowledge of cultivation, he had created several new moves and techniques, all based on immortal cultivation, but optimised for mortals.
The results were truly powerful, and if his courtyard wasn't sealed within his crystal shield, he might have leveled the whole household with that last move!
But his mind was currently on other matters...
'I must confess my feelings to Yanyan!'
But how did mortals go about this?
Was he supposed to write poetry? Leave her flowers?
Or was it more practical to offer rare pills and herbs?
Or to hunt for rare beast cores?
He tried asking Meng Qiu.
"Ahem! Er... Meng Qiu, I have a friend who seeks to confess to a certain lady! What can this friend do?!"
Meng Qiu beamed at him. "Master, you cou-!"
"Ahahem?!"
"Ah, your friend! Your friend could gift the lady with a poem and a beautiful flower arrangement! Ladies love flowers!"
'Should it be so simple?' Luoyin wondered.
That was the same as immortals then, and as he had a natural affinity for every plant that grew, his flowers certainly wouldn't be 'simple'!
"Ahem! That's all!" Luoyin said aloud. "Why don't you go and inspect the shops today? Umm?"
It wouldn't do for Meng Qiu to be around and witness him arranging flowers!
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A little later, Luoyin already had a brilliant array of flowers before him, including a few out of season blooms which he had regrown with his essence!
Then in a beautiful dark blue vase, he carefully placed two deep red camellias tied with a silk thread to symbolize 'Eternal Love', and then a single crooked branch of plum blossoms with a few pale pink buds, symbolizing 'Resilience'.
Next he put in some wisteria vines for 'Devotion', draped loosely over the rim of the vase. This was followed by a gently crushed sprig of osmanthus to symbolize 'Sweet longing' with its faint fragrance.
Finally, he placed a large white lotus front and center to symbolize a 'Pure Heart'...
'All done!' Luoyin beamed at the arrangement with some pride.
After that, he carefully wrote some words on talisman paper, then cast a spell on it, burning it over the flowers, and watching the ashes sink into each petal and vanish.
As a final touch, he directed a stream of his qi into the flowers, and with a single hand seal, their petals glowed mildly, emitting tiny wisps of soft light which slowly swirled around the vase.
Then he stealthily set it by Weiyan's room door and vanished after a light knock to draw her out!
All perfect! But...
"Wah!" A maid came out. "What is this beautiful thing?!"
Her exclamation drew out several other maids who had chosen today of all days to clean and air out Weiyan's room!
"Why are you dallying?" Tong's voice rang from within. "If it's for the lady, bring it in!"
They did, and it was set down on the meal table.
"Waaahh...!" Weiyan and the maids crowded around it, all flushing in delight.
'It's so beautiful!' Weiyan thought, automatically reaching for it, but Tong caught her hand.
"My lady, these flowers are too suspicious! Where have you seen glowing flowers like these?! It looks like a declaration of love, but there's no message! What if it's another prank from the 2nd Miss?!"
That hit a sore spot...
Weiyan had never received flowers before, but once in the past, she and Tong had found a beautiful vase of flowers by the door.
But when they touched it, they had instantly broken out in angry red rashes which had lasted weeks, and Xu Linhua had burst into their yard laughing.
"Little sister, did you like my gift?! You're an orphan! Who would send you flowers?!"
At present, Weiyan and Tong shuddered.
"My Lady, I say we throw it away! Better safe, than sorry!" Tong reached for the vase, but...
"Wait!" Weiyan still could not bring herself to throw it away, and nor could she explain why, but there was just something about it...
"Nothing has happened to the girls who brought it in, so leave it for now. I won't touch it...
"It's simply pleasant to look at!"
"But what if it's poisoning the air?!"
"Don't worry, I'll lock it within a shield..." And she did. A clear shield with her white flames at the base, beautifying the vase even more.
However, the unfortunate 'confessor' slapped his forehead as he listened outside her courtyard archway, a sour look on his face.
If Weiyan herself didn't touch a single petal, then she would never get his message, and he sighed.
'How careless of me! I should have considered something like this!'
Still, he was cheered by the fact that she at least liked it, and he returned to his room, only to find Xu Wen there.
Xu Wen had come to inquire about some formations, and Luoyin absentmindedly pointed to some notes.
But then...
'Ah! Why not try him?' Luoyin thought.
"Er... Xiaowen, I have a friend who seeks to confess to a lady! What can this friend try?"
Xu Wen's expression did not change, except for one brow gently rising.
"Shixiong, Weiyan Jie is like me... But she's even worse." He picked the notes and headed for the doors. "Any indirect way you try might fly over her head, so just tell her to her face."
And he left just like that, leaving Luoyin frozen in shock!
"Th- this fellow-!" Luoyin raged. "Learn social cues before learning talismans!!" He had forgotten Xu Wen behaved more like a little ancestor!
Luoyin himself knew Xu Weiyan was more of a straightforward person, but this was what made all her recent efforts all the more endearing to him... The fact that someone like her had gone through the trouble.
Wouldn't he be doing her a disservice if he didn't put in some effort?
And so, by high noon Luoyin finally settled on fireworks.
A cross between romantic and straightforward!
Rather than using regular fireworks, he would use explosive talismans, but modify them into fireworks.
"I could create the images of the flowers into the fireworks, and then add in the words..."
If he worked quickly, he would be done by nightfall, and he could even add in a spell to ensure the whole thing was only visible from Weiyan's courtyard, in case she didn't want the attention!
'Perfect!' He thought, and set to work at once.
He started by secretly laying down formation flags around Weiyan's yard.
This was a cheap and simple attraction formation, and they would draw the explosive talismans to swirl across the courtyard at a chosen time!
After activating the formation, he finally sat down to work on the talismans themselves.
But there was just one problem.
Luoyin really hadn't slept in two days...
Halfway through drawing the first talisman, he slipped into a light doze, but jolted awake, noting the smeared ink and bleeding lines.
'Tsk tsk tsk!' He tossed it aside and began again, but try as he might, he continued to doze, each time writing the wrong strokes or characters, or making the lines blur.
'This silly mortal body!' He complained.
But even for immortals, sleep was important, and he hadn't slept well since he left Yue City, in addition to the two whole sleepless nights after his return.
He finally sighed, acknowledging the lost battle.
'Forget it... I'll do it tomorrow...' He resolved, intending to throw the whole thing away and start over.
And he lazily went to the bed, plopping down at once.
But unfortunately, he had forgotten the formation flags already around Weiyan's courtyard!
And so, a little after the dinning hour, the characters on the flags began to glow, drawing a similar response from the ruined and incomplete talismans on Luoyin's desk.
A light wind swirled around the talismans, and they lined up, following a spiral of wind right to Weiyan's courtyard, where they circled around as the first one shot into the skies...
The first explosion drew Tong out... "My Lady! Come and see!"
... which brought Weiyan out, and she cocked her head in confusion.
There glinting in the skies, was a large bowl of soup.
There was nothing wrong with the image itself, but the question was 'why', and they both cocked their heads.
Was this some sort of promotion for a soup shop?
'How expensive!' Image fireworks were rare, even for New Year celebrations!
The explosion stirred Luoyin's sleep, and he groggily mumbled, "fireworks", before dipping back into sleep.
But then another explosion followed.
And another...
The fifth explosion finally jolted Luoyin awake, as he remembered the formation in Weiyan's courtyard.
"Oh no!" He hurried to his desk, noting the missing talismans, and then with trepidation, he ran outside and looked up to find a large and satisfied pig face next to a cabbage, reminding everyone of the *'pig digging up the prized cabbage'.
(*Like, someone lowly or unworthy ending up with your preciously raised or 'cultivated' child)
"Ei?!!!!"
By now, Weiyan and Tong were openly laughing, because the previous talismans had shown a fat grinning man with crooked teeth, replaced by a proud and glorious rooster wearing disciple robes, then by a dragon with rabbit nose and ears, and now with the pig and cabbage!
Luoyin could certainly appreciate the irony, considering the 'pig digging up the prized cabbage' was everyone's thought after he and Weiyan's scandal!
But he couldn't share the humour, and he shook his head in disbelief, as yet another talisman flew up and exploded.
He held his breath hopefully, but his face fell as the bright red starry particles formed...
Toilet.
"Hao Tian-ah!" He exclaimed, as yet another shot skyward, exploding into,
Pig soup warms the soul!
"Pfffft!" He himself could not resist a spurt of laughter.
He had aimed to draw flowers and a poem, so where did these interesting things come from?!
But his face fell when he heard more laughter from other parts of the house, and even beyond.
Which reminded him...
He had not yet activated the spell which tied the fireworks to only Weiyan's courtyard, which meant, the entire Yue City was watching this spectacle!
"N- Not good!" He thought, mentally calculating the number of explosions so far. "N- Next is -!"
As expected, the next talisman exploded and formed a poem, which read,
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Where silver flame falls, plague passion arises,
A soft-whiskered figure twists through my skies.
As silver descends with a "gē" sound,
Without a word, my twisted desires are on display.
~~
'Can this still be considered a poem?!' Luoyin was swaying on the spot, nearly collapsing as almost everyone in the city laughed!
To deal the final blow, there was one last explosion which read,
Silver fall loves fried swallow
"Ei? Isn't that above the Yan house?" One drunk scholar observed from the top balcony of an inn.
"Wait-! Is it 'Silver fall (Yin Luo)' or 'Falling Silver (Luo Yin)'?"
"Ei?! Wouldn't that be Luoyin?!"
"Haha! Then would Xu Weiyan be the flame (Yan)?!"
"Or the 'Fried Swallow' (Jian yan)?!"
"Heh! His 'twisted desires' are indeed 'on display'!"
"Who fried our White Swallow?!"
And everyone burst into laughter.
Back at the Yan house, Luoyin sat heavily on the floor.
Not only had his clever plan turned into a joke, but it became entertainment for all of Yue City!
"This..." He began, burying his face in his hands...
"This surely is payback for every mischievous deed I've ever done!!!!"
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