Chapter 23 #3
“Each letter has mentioned her in some way,” Oswin started.
“And now, instead of allowing her to take the reputational hit because of the rumors or allowing her to leave into quiet obscurity, as any other reasonable gentleman would have done, you have pointed out your own flaws, and you have assured me that you are the fool in this situation. Do you really not see what is clearly obvious?”
“What do you—?”
“Even Mama has been asking when you shall announce the formal courtship,” Oswin said.
“She has not…” Roderick groaned in frustration.
“Of course she has,” Oswin said. “So, why did you act so foolishly? And do not attempt to bring your father into this conversation.”
“But—”
“Remember, you are your mother’s son, not your father’s. That has never changed. You should apologize to her,” Oswin said, folding his arms.
“I tried,” Roderick groaned.
“Then try again!” Oswin chided him. “Properly. And tell her how you feel about her.”
“No,” Roderick shook his head. “She does not need my feelings burdening her. ”
“You believe she is not already feeling burdened by all of this?” Oswin asked, glaring slightly at Roderick. “And if she truly does hate you now, there is little else you have to lose.”
Roderick sighed and put his head into his hands. “I suppose,” he grumbled.
“You do not wish to admit that I am right,” Oswin said, taking a sip of his brandy.
“And you do not know the fury I am facing. I may be more cinder and ash than human by the end of the day,” Roderick sighed.
“Better that than an unfulfilled heart,” Oswin shrugged.
Roderick shook his head and leanedback in his seat.
***
Roderick went in search of Lavinia later that afternoon.. He had hoped it would be an easy task. How many more things could he be wrong about?
He checked her sitting room; empty. She was not in the gardens.
Her horse snorted at him when he reached the stables, as though somehow the animal was offended on its owner’s behalf.
“I suppose I deserve that,” Roderick grumbled. Looking up at Briarwood Hall, he wondered how many more rooms he would have to investigate before he found her. He knew she was avoiding him on purpose. She did not wish to be found. That, or he simply had not looked in the most obvious place.
He walked around the outside of the house, glancing in each window he passed before his eyes landed on the drawing room. Lavinia sat with her back to the window, reading something.
Of course…
Walking up the steps to the entrance, Roderick headed for the drawing room. From the doorway, he watched as Lavinia glared at the paper, as though it had personally offended her. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door.
“What is it you want, Your Grace?” she asked, not looking up from the papers. Her tone made him wince.
“I was wondering if we might speak again,” Roderick said.
“I am busy,” she replied coolly. Roderick pursed his lips together. He knew it would likely be safer for him to leave, but Oswin would never allow him to hear the end of it.
“I want to apologize again,” he said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.
“I am aware now that what I did was wrong. Even if I went into it with the best of intentions, working behind your back to direct your life because it was the most useful thing for me to do was not right. I handled it all wrong and I—”
“I have thought about it,” she said, cutting him off. He paused, surprised. “You were right about one thing. Marrying Lord Casterleigh would be the most prudent thing for me to do. The man is fond of me, he has a good fortune, and it would secure my place in society.”
Roderick felt his heart crack in his chest. He wanted to argue, but he knew he could not. She had made her choice.
“Even if you knew he had spoken cruelly about you?” Roderick asked weakly.
“He has already apologized for that,” Lavinia said with an exasperated sigh. Roderick nodded slowly.
I wish I had heard the apology myself… I cannot verify anything with hearsay like this.
His eyes drifted toward the documents she was reading.
“Before I can marry him however,” she began. “I must go forth with clearing my name. If I do not disperse the rumors, they will never stop following me, and that might give the lord reason to pause.”
“How can I help with that?” Roderick asked, the words leaving his mouth before he had registered what he had said. Lavinia looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. Glancing between the letters and Roderick, he could see her considering her options, the gears of her mind spinning quickly.
“I have evidence of what killed your father,” she admitted. Roderick’s eyes widened, and he raced to her side.
“What was it?” he asked.
“An undisclosed heart condition. I have a witness willing to speak on the matter, some written evidence, but I need more. I want everyone to see the full truth of what kind of a man the late duke was. His secrets. His enemies. I want to expose him so thoroughly that nobody could ever blame me again,” she added.
He nodded slowly, his eyes drifting over the letter she had been reviewing.
“The town will also need to learn of his first marriage,” she said coldly.
“That means that they will learn about what he did to your mother. The person he hid and abandoned. She deserves to be recognized properly in all of this…” Lavinia looked up at him.
“Unless you object to your mother’s story becoming public knowledge? ”
Roderick felt his stomach drop. He took a steadying breath and shook his head.
“It is not how I would have liked the fact I am the duke to be announced,” he said softly. “But you are right. My mother deserves justice. I do not object.”
“Good,” she said with a nod. “Then, let us get to work.”
They moved into the duke’s study, and Lavinia pulled out all of the old documents that had been stored away when she took over the dukedom.
Roderick took on the job of finding anything relating to his mother, starting with the financial documents Lavinia had found.
She was in charge of finding the evidence of the ex-duke’s general demeanor and wrongdoings.
“Do you know this name?” Roderick asked, holding up a letter that spoke about a woman in London that the duke had paid. Lavinia read the name and shook her head.
“I do not…” she whispered.
“That is another sin my father has committed then,” Roderick sighed. “I did not believe he would stoop so low as to pay for pleasure.”
“That is not all he has done,” she added. “Look at these.” Lavinia handed Roderick a stack of papers. “Letters from creditors threatening legal action.”
“They did not contact you?” Roderick asked.
“No,” Lavinia said, shaking her head. “The letter claiming they have been paid came a few days before my marriage. The day he would have received my dowry.”
“Oh, good heavens,” Roderick groaned.
“So, he married me for my father’s money,” she sighed.
“It would appear that way,” Roderick agreed. “And by the amount of letters I am finding referencing different women in London, I suspect he got into that position because he enjoyed women too much.”
“That is not all, it would seem,” Lavinia said, pulling out more letters. “He was also bribing local officials.”
“So, my father was a rake, a cad, and corrupt… Wonderful,” Roderick sighed sarcastically.
“Unfortunately.”
Roderick nodded, turning back toward the pile of letters in front of him. He opened the first one, and his jaw tightened.
… the woman the duke has locked away…
Make sure the woman in the cottage has enough supplies for the winter.
… the woman in the cottage needs more medical supplies…
Roderick pressed his mouth into a thin line. More evidence of his mother’s confinement. He closed his eyes, attempting to keep his emotions at bay. .
“Are you quite alright?” Lavinia asked suddenly.
“I am fine,” Roderick said, although his words did little to convince him.
Lavinia nodded and looked back down at her pile of papers, thankfully not pushing any further.
They stayed in the study until light outside started to fade. Toward the end of the investigation, Lavinia stood, reaching for something on a higher shelf. Roderick looked up, just as her sleeve started to fall.
The scar.
Lavinia glanced over and noticed he had seen it. She tried to push her sleeve back into place, but it was too late.
“It happened on my wedding night,” she whispered.
“I had been so wrapped up in the duke attempting to assault me that I had not realized one of the shattered vases had cut my arm. It was only as the physician was about to leave that a maid noticed blood seeping through my sleeve. The physician said it is possible to ignore pain when we are in shock,” she explained, adjusting her sleeve.
“There was a two-inch piece of porcelain in my arm. The physician had to extract it carefully and bandage it. Since then, I have grown used to wearing gloves. Nobody wished to see the bandages at the funeral.”
Roderick nodded slowly, looking at the long silver line on her arm, his heart hammering in his chest.
“I worry sometimes,” he whispered.
“About?” she asked.
“That I carry his same capacity for cruelty,” Roderick admitted, looking back down at the pile of documents they had spent the day going through. “What if there is that same violence in my blood, just waiting for the right conditions to come forth?”
He waited for a response, looking at the evidence they had compiled of his father’s cruelty.
“I have noticed,” Lavinia replied, “that it is rarely the people who fear becoming monsters who are, in fact, the true monsters.”
Roderick looked up at her, meeting her steady gaze.
“For what it is worth,” she added. “I am angry with you, but I am in no way afraid of you.”
“That is… reassuring to hear,” he said with a nod.
“Good,” she replied, grabbing the ledger from the shelf and sitting next to him.
He watched her for a moment before returning his attention to the documents. The air around them felt lighter. Not healed, not forgiven, but calm.