Sergei
I’ve had women in my bed before. Enough that I stopped attaching meaning to it a long time ago. It was release. Nothing more.
This is different.
Standing here with Sofia trembling in my arms, I feel the strain of my own restraint in every inch of my body. One wrong move. One careless word. Too much pressure, too fast, and I ruin this.
I cannot fuck this up.
She’s trusting me with something I can’t afford to mishandle.
“Come here,” I murmur, guiding her toward the bed.
I close my hand around her wrist and feel her pulse kicking hard beneath my thumb.
“Lay down.”
She climbs onto the bed and lowers herself onto my sheets, her head on my pillow. For a second, I just look at her.
Fucking beautiful.
She’s looking at the fan.
“Look at me.”
She does. I see fear there, but also determination. Trust.
That trust is going to kill me.
“We go at your pace,” I remind her. “You’re in control. Always.”
She nods, but I see her throat work as she swallows.
I reach under her and unclasp her bra. I slowly pull the lace away and toss it over my shoulder. She’s absolutely perfect.
I wait for her to cover herself. To pull away.
She doesn’t.
“Can I touch you, Sofia?”
“Yes.”
I cup her breast, my thumb brushing over her nipple. She gasps, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Eyes on me,” I say. “See me. It’s only me here.”
She opens them again. I smile when her lips part in pleasure.
“I’m going to make you feel good,” I promise. “I need you to trust me. Relax and let yourself enjoy this.”
I take my time. Exploring. Learning what makes her breath catch. What makes her lean into my touch instead of away from it.
“You’re so responsive,” I tell her. “So beautiful.”
“I don’t feel beautiful,” she whispers. “I feel—exposed.”
“You are exposed. Vulnerable. And you’re letting me see you anyway. Do you know how fucking brave you are?”
Her eyes well up, and I catch the tear that slips down her cheek.
“Hey.” I bring it to my mouth. “Talk to me. Tell me what you need.”
“I need you to keep going. I need to get through this.”
Get through this.
Like I’m something she has to survive.
No.
“Sofia, look at me.” I wait until she does. “You’re not enduring this for me. I’m not taking you like that. If it doesn’t feel good, we stop. Understood?”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said.” My voice comes out rougher than I intend. “And yes, this matters. But not like that. Not with you lying under me wishing it was over. I’ll wait.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “It doesn’t feel bad. It feels good. I just don’t know what to do.”
Relief floods through me. “You don’t have to do anything. Just feel it. Let me take care of the rest.”
She licks her lips. “Okay.”
“Can I take these off?” I ask, hooking my fingers in the waistband of her panties.
She nods.
“Words, Sofia. I need words.”
“Yes. You can take them off.”
I slide them down her legs and toss them aside. Now she’s completely bare before me. Completely vulnerable.
I’m still wearing my pants. I should remove them, but I don’t. Not yet. I don’t want to rush this. I don’t want to overwhelm her.
I settle between her thighs and press a kiss to her stomach, then her hip, then the inside of her knee.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her voice breathless.
“Taking my time with you, princess.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” I look up at her. “I want to make this good for you. Let me.”
She hesitates, then nods.
I kiss my way up her inner thigh, watching her face the entire time. I see the shift when her fear gives way to curiosity.
When I finally put my mouth on her, she cries out. Her hands fly to my hair, gripping tight.
“Is this okay?” I ask against her skin.
“Yes. God, yes.”
I take my time, learning what makes her hips lift off the bed. What pulls those soft sounds from her.
Every touch, every kiss draws something from her.
I slip one finger inside her.
“Sergei,” she gasps. “I feel—something’s happening.”
“Good,” I murmur. “Let it happen.”
I push a second finger inside her. She flinches and arches, but she doesn’t tell me to stop. I work them slowly, giving her body time to open for me.
I feel the moment she relaxes into the pleasure again. A few more strokes of my tongue across her clit and she comes apart. Her whole body tenses, then shudders.
Fucking beautiful.
She cries out, fisting the blanket beneath her.
I wait until she comes down before I move back up her body. She’s flushed, her chest heaving.
“I didn’t know it could feel like that.”
“It will with me,” I say.
I reach for the nightstand, pulling out a condom. I shed my pants and briefs quickly, not wanting to leave her alone in her vulnerability for too long.
When I settle between her thighs again, I see the flash of nervousness return.
“We can stop here,” I tell her. “What we just did is enough for tonight.”
“No.” She reaches up, cupping my face. “I want this. I want you.”
“It might hurt,” I warn her. “The first time usually does. But I’ll go slow. I promise.”
“I trust you.”
Those three words undo me completely. They make me want to give her so much pleasure there’s no room left for fear.
I position myself at her entrance and pray I can stay in control. I push in slowly. So slowly. I watch her face the entire time, looking for any sign of pain. I’m about halfway inside her.
I force myself to stop. I can feel her gripping around me. Another inch and there’s no taking it back.
She winces, her hands gripping my shoulders.
“Breathe,” I tell her. “Just breathe.”
She does, and I feel some of the tension leave her body.
“Are you okay? Tell me and I stop.”
She looks into my eyes. The fear is still there.
“Sofia, talk to me.”
Fuck. My entire body is trembling with the restraint I’m trying to wield.
I have never had to hold myself back this hard in my life.
“I’m okay. I’m ready.”
“It’ll hurt for a second,” I tell her. “Then I’ll make it feel good again.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
I push in further and feel the resistance. I hold my breath. She tenses for a half second, and then I’m moving. I don’t stop until I’m deep inside her.
Mine. The thought hits way harder than it should. No one has ever had her like this. No one ever will.
The feeling is indescribable. She’s tight and warm and perfect.
“Are you okay?” I ask, holding myself completely still.
“Yes. It hurts a little, but it’s okay.”
“Tell me when you’re ready for me to move.”
She takes a few breaths, adjusting to the sensation. “Okay. You can move.”
I do. Slowly at first. Gentle thrusts that let her get used to the feeling.
“Does it still hurt?” I ask.
“Not as much. It’s starting to feel kind of good.”
I pick up the pace slightly, watching her face. Looking for pleasure, not pain.
I can’t hold back. She doesn’t need this to last. She needs it to be right. She needs it to feel good.
I put my weight on one arm and slide my hand down her stomach and then between us. The sight of her spread beneath me nearly wrecks what little control I have left.
I find her swollen clit. Her body jerks. “Oh!”
A rough, satisfied smile tugs at my mouth. “That’s it,” I say.
I rub her gently and feel her tighten around me immediately.
“Yes.” I keep my hand moving. “Just like that.”
I lean in, my mouth brushing her ear. “You’re taking me so well, Sofia. Like your body already knows me.”
My control starts to fray. I have wanted this longer than I have any right to admit.
“Sergei,” she moans. “It’s happening again.”
“Let go,” I tell her. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
She does. Her entire body locks, back arching, head falling back as she cries out. I feel her pulsing around me, and that’s it. I come with my face buried in her neck.
I give myself thirty seconds before I force myself to pull out.
I roll off her and quickly go into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I pause at the mirror and stare at my reflection.
I know that face. I know every line of it. What I don't know is the man wearing it right now, the one who just stopped pretending this was only ever about a promise.
Because promises shouldn’t feel like this.
When I return to the bed, she’s burrowed under the covers. I pull her into my arms.
“You okay?” I ask, brushing her hair back from her face.
“Yes.” She looks up at me, tears clinging to her lashes. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being gentle. For making it okay.”
I chuckle. “Okay?”
“Not okay. Safe. I’d worked myself up to dreading it. I didn’t think it could be so pleasurable. I expected pain. Fear.”
The feeling in my chest is unfamiliar. Protective in a way that feels dangerously close to possession.
“I’ll never force you, Sofia. Never. What we just did only happens when you want it to.”
She nods, pressing her face against my chest. “I know.”
I hold her, running my fingers through her hair. I have kept my promise to her mother for eight years. What I didn't account for is that somewhere along the way, keeping her safe stopped being the promise and started being the only thing I wanted for myself.
“I’ve got you. Sleep.”
“You said that. That night. You said you got me.”
“I do. I will always take care of you. Now sleep.”
I continue to stroke her hair until I feel her breathing even out.
Only then do I let myself think about what just happened.
Would Elena approve? Would she be disappointed in me for having sex with her daughter? I promised to protect Sofia, but I have a feeling Elena didn’t mean this.
Having her in my arms, in my bed, is both everything I wanted and nothing like I imagined.
This is dangerous territory I swore I’d never enter.
I can protect her from Yuri.
I’m not sure I can protect her from me.