Chapter 13 #3
“From the moment I caught Dad posted up on the sofa like a schoolboy in love, I knew he had found his one. Whenever his phone rang, I always made sure to look at him. It was the brightness in his eyes. A smile I had never seen before. Pure happiness radiated from him as he tried not to answer the phone like a fanboy. I prayed whoever had him feeling like that kept it coming, because he’s an excellent guy who doesn’t mind telling it like it is and dares someone to get salty behind his truths.
Then, I saw the woman behind the brightness in his eyes, a grin I don’t believe anyone has seen before her, and I was certain Momma wasn’t going anywhere.
She completed him, me, and our home. They are the perfect couple …
no one,” he spoke, turning to look in Momma’s direction.
“I mean, no one can break. Their love is forever, and so are the bullets to their Glocks and assault rifles. When one busts, so does the other. It would be wise to stay away from my momma. I’ll get unethical quick before I dash off to college.
Don’t let how I talk fool you. I can swiftly take shit to Hell and be in Kentucky swishing that ball.
So, I’m going to let the officiant have the floor so he can seal the deal on my parents’ marriage.
Unless you want to bless the bride and groom, Ms. Dorothy and Syrah. ”
“Ooooh!” King and I shouted, stunned.
‘My boy,’ Mona mouthed as Syrah and Ms. Dorothy shook their heads rapidly while looking at the ground.
“Hold y’all’s heads up! Like y’all did while being messy about someone who was never meant to be anyone else’s but Momma’s!
I snatched y’all up outta that house like my grandma said …
for this reason and this reason only! To witness my momma officially become Mrs. August Abbott Senior!
” August Junior bellowed, making me proud of the bass and nastiness in his tone.
“We, Abbotts, don’t playyyyy!” Mike hooted, causing King, Kingdon, August Junior, Kingsley, and me to look in his direction.
“Nawl, Cousin Mike, it’s been confirmed, the Abbotts on that altar don’t play.” August Junior chuckled, walking by me. For the life of me, I tried not to laugh. Yet, the beforemath of my bachelor party caused me to howl in laughter as Mona looked at me crazily.
Before I could close my mouth, King chuckled, imitating a tipsy Mike. “King, please don’t put me in the trunk. Huh, man. You can get these smokies. I ain’t even started nibblin’ on ‘em yet.”
The venue erupted into laughter as Mona giggled. “You gotta give me the details about that.”
“Fo’ sho.” I chuckled as we looked at the disturbed officiant.
“Shut ‘em up, an’ let’s continue,” I told him through laughter.
Nodding, he cleared his throat. Taking in a deep breath, Reverend Harriot lifted his head high. Looking around the venue, he smoothly said, “Ahh, August Junior, that was a nice personal reflection and a mighty revelation. Thank you. Now, guests, it’s time for the declaration of intent.”
‘Yes, it is,’ Mona and I mouthed as we moved closer to each other.
Looking at me, Reverend Harriot said, “August, repeat after me. I, August Abbott Senior, take you, Mona Averhart, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you, in sickness and in health, and forsake all others, be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.”
No need to act differently. We are Mona and August, I rehashed her saying as I licked my lips.
Gazing at my heartbeat, I confidently said, “I, August Abbott Senior, take you, Mona Averhart, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love you, comfort you, honor an’ keep you well fed in three areas, in sickness an’ in health, an’ fo’ sho’ forsake all others.
They ugly an’ ain’t ‘bout that life anyways. I’mma be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.
I’mma up this pistol wit’ a round in the head if a nigga get to actin’ real bold when it come to you.
A trick threatenin’ you gon’ be the last time she gon’ utter a word.
I seen what meat scissors can do. I’mma have the sickest female Abbott do the honors of doing a lil clippin’ here an’ there on a trick’s tongue. Always an’ forever.”
“My God,” the officiant whispered.
King patted my shoulders.
Kingdon whistled long and hard. That was his way of agreeing with my speech.
Sexily, Mona nibbled on her bottom lip.
“Um, Mona, will you please repeat after me?” Reverend Harriot spoke timidly, looking at my woman, giving me the ‘fuck me’ eyes.
“My pleasure.” She grinned, tapping her gun against her thigh.
“I, Mona Averhart, take you, August Abbott Senior, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you, in sickness and in health, and forsake all others, be faithful to you as long as we both shall live,” he spoke while uncertainty traveled around his face.
“I, Mona Averhart, take you, August Abbott Senior, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you in sickness and in health, and forsake all others. They ain’t worth two filthy one-hundred-dollar bills anyways.
I’m going to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.
I don’t mind kicking in doors about you.
I don’t mind overusing this limpy leg to prove a point to a trick who thinks I’m something to play with when it concerns you, our kids, and our household.
I don’t mind spinning the block all night long to make sure niggas know when they come for you, they are coming for me.
As I sang when I stepped down that aisle.
This Glock. This Glock. This Glockkkkk. Gon’ get to spittin’ if you try me. Always and forever.”
‘I’mma fuck the shit out of you when we done at this venue,’ I mouthed as Reverend Harriot rushed to wipe his forehead and look at me.
“August Senior, do you take Mona to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Will you love, honor, and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for as long as you both shall live?”
“An’ you know it!” I cheesed, wanting to do the beat-it-up dance. “I do!”
“Mona, do you take August Senior to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Will you love, honor, and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for as long as you both shall live?” Reverend Harriot spoke as tension eased from his face.
Seductively gazing at me, Mona rose on her tiptoes, did the beat-it-up dance, and hooted, “I doooooo!”
“Get in thereeee!” King, Kingsley, Kingdon, and Ryan shouted while I smiled at the one who was owed the world if I could give it to her.
‘I’mma eat yo’ ass up when our celebration end,’ I mouthed as she stood correctly and winked.
‘I’ll be waiting on it,’ she mouthed as the officiant was back on pins and needles.
“Since both of you chose to keep your rings with you, bring them forth,” the officiant spoke, looking between Mona and me.
As we retrieved our rings, Reverend Harriot calmly breathed. “August Senior, while you place the ring on Mona’s fingers, say this: this ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. With this ring, I thee wed.”
As I reached for her right hand, I enjoyed seeing her eyes light up. Slipping the ring slowly on her finger, I looked into her yearning eyes and said, “This ring a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Wit’ this ring, I thee wed you, guh.”
“You chose my right hand.” She choked up as her eyes welled with tears.
Loving how her finger looked, I grinned and whispered, “It was never a debate ‘bout which finger our rings go on. I only said no to cause mo’ of a disturbance in the bedroom.”
“Twisted man, you.” She giggled.
“Mona, repeat after me. This ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. With this ring, I thee wed,” he spoke with more grace.
Reaching for my right hand, she lovingly breathed. “This ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love that I have for you. With this ring, I thee wed you, My C.K.”
‘Fuck the reception. Let’s leave after we jump the broom,’ I mouthed.
She shook her head while sliding my ring onto my tattooed finger.
‘Mouth-to-pussy pooper. Dick-to-pussy pooper,’ I teased, causing her to howl in laughter while bringing my hand to her mouth.
While she kissed my tattooed knuckles, Reverend Harriot proudly announced, “By the authority vested in me by the State of Alabama, I now pronounce August Senior and Mona man and wife. You may kiss your spouse.”
“Gimme them lips, guh.” I cheesed, pulling her to me.
“As you wish,” she cooed, resting her left hand on the back of my neck as I wrapped my arms around her waist.
Studying her content eyes, I whispered, “I love you, Mrs. Cloaked Head.”
“I love you, Mr. Cloaked Head,” she purred before I parted her glossy lips with my tongue.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. August Abbott Senior!” Reverend Harriott shouted with pride and eagerness as Mona and my tongues wrestled slowly, thoughtfully, but starvingly.
I got my guh as my wife. All is well, nih!