Chapter 10 Kane #2
I don’t follow her all the way, well aware that’d be too obsessive, but out of all the seats at the long meeting table, I take the one closest to the bathroom.
The second she’s out of sight, I text Ezekial again.
Me: We’re in the meeting room. Is someone coming?
Ezekial: On it. You’ve done well, brother.
The door to his office opens and his assistant enters. She bows her head at my presence whilst quickly unloading a copious amount of food from several bags. When she removes a pale pink box too, I can’t help rolling my eyes.
Me: This food is for her. Not me.
Ezekial: She got you to sleep, maybe she’ll get you to eat. Helps that you both like the same food. Seems you do have good taste after all.
Ezekial: Thought it might be too early for the whiskey though ;)
When Jasmine returns, her eyes widen a fraction at the feast before her.
I stand as she comes closer. “We weren’t sure what you’d want. I know it’s a lot.”
“We?” she asks, her eyes darting to the now-open pink box of pastries.
“Ezekial and I.”
“He knows I’m here?” She takes a seat, I copy, taking the chair directly beside her rather than the one I previously used.
“Yes, he came to check on us when you were sleeping.”
She digests my words then simply nods. I’m relieved by her response, or rather lack of it.
Then she reaches for a pastry. “Do you even enjoy eating?”
“I enjoy watching you eat.”
Her cheeks flush as she bites off a small piece. I watch as it slips between her lips, catching a glimpse of her tongue sweeping the soft flakes into her mouth.
I could watch her eat a million times and never be rid of the satisfaction it brings.
She runs her other fingers over the table as she chews and swallows, studying the colours pulsing beneath her touch. “The table, is it like the one at the house?”
“Yes.”
She frowns, studying it in more detail. “What’s it made from?”
“Mainly Ezekial’s power, but pieces of ours too,” I explain, focusing on the small change in her expression, how a line forms between her arched brows as she concentrates.
But I want her to look at me. Focus on me, not the table.
“When we lose control, physical manifestations of our power help to ground us to this realm.”
She looks up—yes.
“So, you can all make these?” She produces a rock of Sai’s darkness from her overall pocket and holds it between her fingertips.
I stare at it, a sudden, unreasonable envy twisting in my chest. “Yes.”
She frowns. “Why does that make you... unhappy?”
Of course she felt that. “It draws on your own darkness to help power it. You may sometimes feel drained for a while afterwards, but I can provide an alternative.”
“Oh?”
I level my gaze with hers. “Use me.”
I capture her reaction to those words. The way all lines melt away, how her eyes flare vibrantly, flickering like candle light in a scarlet abyss, and an intense heat rushes along my skin.
She doesn’t speak—she just stares at me.
“I can bring you here, take you back,” I finally elaborate and slowly watch as she regains composure.
She blinks, takes another small nibble of her pastry as she thinks over my words.
“That’s...” She shakes her head, tucks a soft strand of hair behind her ear. My fingers twitch beneath the table. “Aren’t you busy? Y’know, doing enforcer things?”
“No.” I wince immediately, remembering to tell the truth. “Sometimes,” I correct, “but not for you.”
She pauses, then reaches for the pot of coffee. I wondered how long she could resist, but I reach it first. She studies me, that small furrow returning as I pour the black liquid into a cup. Her mouth parts when I slide it to her, knowing she doesn’t take milk or sugar.
“Thanks.” She takes it and our fingers brush.
I am on fire. That miniscule touch sends a rush of flames along my skin, into my bones—my soul.
“It’s very kind of you to offer your… services.” I’ll offer her any service she requires. “But maybe you could teach me how to flit instead?”
“Maybe.” But all I want to say is no. Because the possessive part of me, the one crawling beneath the surface, desperate to tear out of my skin and escape, needs her to be reliant upon me.
I need her to feel like I’m a necessary part. That I’m a useful tool for her.
Use me.
But instead, I remain composed, calmly watching her sip the coffee I poured for her. From the cup I touched.
“I could help you learn how to flit, if you’d like to resume our training,” I suggest, needing to say something to help fracture this heated silence.
“Maybe,” she repeats back with a sly smile.
And I’m enthralled again.
How is she real? This majestic creature cannot be here, in my presence, as my bond. This is a cruel trick. Someone will wake me from this dream, surely?
“But I’d be taking up an awful lot of your time, enforcer.”
Fuck.
What?
I...
What did she just say? What did she just call me?
The word. The tone.
Everything in me freezes. Her expression, the soft tilt of her lips, the nickname, is this… is she… is she flirting with me?
I can’t compute.
My mind. My darkness. I—
I can’t understand what’s happening. How, why...
“Taxiing me here and there, staying with me and Kace during the day, training me...”
“I’ll take anything you’ll give me.” The words erupt from me, laced in darkness I can’t hide. Did it sound desperate? Yes, but it was the absolute truth.
Her mouth parts, she blinks, repeatedly. I’ve shocked her.
Then she laughs, and it shatters all thought, and when it fades, she’s smiling at me—at me. I will carve that memory into stone.
But too soon, it’s over.
She catches herself, her lips dropping into their natural pout.
“It’s so hard to stay angry at you.” She looks away, and the warmth she emits cools. Her admission makes my entire body ice-cold.
I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t.
She looks back, searches my face, and I wait patiently for her to continue.
“Why did you hate me so much?” Her question is so quiet I could’ve easily missed it. “When we first met, all those times afterwards. You were always so... cruel. I thought that was just the way enforcers were, but now…”
“I didn’t hate you, Jasmine. I never did.” I never look away, make sure she hears my sincerity. “You believed we were a threat to you and your family.” She nods. “And I believed you were a threat to mine.”
“A threat?” Her brows furrow, she sets her cup down. “How?”
“I thought someone had planted you.” Her brows hitch up at my honest words. “To find someone like you, in a random club, it seemed too coincidental.”
The urge to touch her, to check she’s real, that she’s here with me, that we truly found her that night… it hits so sudden and so hard I slip my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie to restrain them. She notices, but quickly looks back up at me.
“We have many enemies, Jasmine. Each of us.” She swallows at my words. “I’m always wary of anything new, and I always assume the worst. Which is what I did of you.”
“So when you said you’d kill me, you really did mean it?”
The pain those words cause is indescribable. The ache in my spine returns, like my darkness is punishing me for ever letting those sickening thoughts in.
“No,” I say. Her face lines with confusion. “I said it to my unit, I said it to you, but I never… I could never...”
It’s the truth.
I remember my unit’s first heated argument over Jasmine, when I suggested a vote to kill her. Julien and Sai were furious, even then, when we didn’t fully know what she was, even suggesting it filled them with rage.
It made me feel sick.
I had to force the words out, but I refused to let her in, to let this person affect our unit—threaten my family. And now…
“When you said you’d kill my family... August.” She watches me when she says that wolf’s name.
Knowing how close they were, feeling his heat on her skin, his scent in her hair—those moments were the worst. When I had to convince myself I didn’t care. Didn’t want her. That she was nothing but a distraction. A weakness.
How wrong I was.
“You said you’d kill the queen, that you’d slaughter everyone…”
“I would have,” I admit, never looking away from her vibrant stare as her eyes widen. “I didn’t trust your family. They were lying to you, they’d kept you hidden, never tried to seek help.”
Her face softens again.
“I thought maybe they were the reason for your mark. I was convinced if you told them that we had removed some of it, they would replace it, give you another…” The thought still makes my darkness stir. “...or hide you from us again.”
“You’re saying that every time you threatened to hurt someone, or kill them, it was because—”
“Even though you were a threat to everything I loved, I would have done anything to stop you being harmed.”
The silence that follows those words will stay with me for eternity.
“I’m sorry,” I say, again. And I’ll say it again and again, utter it like a prayer if that’s what she needs to forgive me. “By trying to stop you being harmed, I know I harmed you in other ways, and I’ll never forgive myself.”
More silence, but her eyes never leave mine. Then she groans, running a hand through that soft flame of hair.
“For fuck’s sake, Kane,” she mutters, shaking her head. But she said my name and that’s all I latch onto. Say it again, please.
“All that time, I thought you despised me, but you…” Her brows draw together. “You were trying to keep me safe?”
I don’t say another thing.
I don’t want to give myself more credit than I deserve. I was still cruel to her, driven by insecurities and concern for my family. Always.
And now, I’ll do the same for her.
I won’t allow anyone to intrude on her life in any way that causes harm. I will guard her for eternity—even if she doesn’t want me.
Even if she chooses to leave me behind.
And if she does… maybe she’ll still forgive the others—my worthy brothers.
“I’ll leave my unit.” I finally say it, but I can’t meet her eyes. I turn and stare at the sunrise. “I understand if you can’t consider us because of my treatment towards you. I’d never expect you to forgive me.”
Warmth skims over me, but I can’t look. I can’t see her eyes when she decides to accept my offer—to reject me.
“I’ve told them I’ll leave, if that’s your decision.”
She’s touching me. Again. “Wait, Kane, just… slow down.”
I close my eyes and force my darkness to retreat, letting myself float in the fire she creates without disturbing it. I glance down at her hand, her fingers curled over mine through the fabric of the pocket.
Why did I put my hand in this stupid pocket? I need this fabric—this barrier—gone.
My gaze drags over her hand, her wrist, her arm, claiming every inch—until the sunlight catches her, igniting her in gold against my shadow… and the rest of the world stops existing.
She’s a goddess and I am unholy.
A goddess who appears… displeased by my suggestion.
“Listen, if anyone was going to leave the unit, it would be Sai and Julien,” she says with a nervous twitch of her lips.
Sai and Julien.
My thoughts tumble into one. Why Sai and Julien?
She turns to look out the window, watching the sun fully rise. But I stare at her, catching the edges of her face as I remain dumbfounded.
“For letting me…” she murmurs. “Because they never told me what we were when they…” She tucks invisible hair behind her ears, chews the inside of her cheek. “When we… well, you know.” Then she turns towards me, her skin flushed.
Why is her skin flushed?
“No.” My voice drops into the dark, and Jasmine recognises it. Her eyes darken into a smooth burgundy. “No. I don’t think I do know, Jasmine.”
“They…” She swallows, her eyes darting over my face. “They never told you?”
The room darkens, all shadows stretch outwards, engulfing all light. Even the sun.
“Told me what?” I press, jaw clenched.
Her mouth pops open. She stares at me, then glances around the room at the growing darkness, muttering a slow and low, “Oh, fuck.”
I reach out, my fingers gently gripping her chin, tilting her face just enough to ensure she focuses on me, and only me.
“Tell me what they did.”