Chapter 16 Sai
I’m hard as fuck, it’s practically a weapon, and it’s taking everything in me not to go after Red.
After Kane flitted her away, the urge to chase tore through me, or rather us. Julien was already sinking into the dark, nearly gone, before Zeek slammed a hand on him, then me, and hauled us both back.
By the time we flitted to his office, Kane was already there, pacing in and out of the shadows until Zeek threw up a barrier to stop any of us from flitting to her.
That was almost an hour ago, and this hard-on still isn’t budging.
Is this what it’ll be like now? Every time she’s near, just neverending erections and constant need?
She didn’t even touch us, not really, just her shadows taking a stroll over each of us.
And I mean all over.
But fuck did I enjoy every filthy second.
I remember Kane telling us how his darkness obeyed her, made him go to the dark at her mere suggestion, now we’ve all felt it. Red asks to see our dark sides and bang: feral, unfiltered, ready-to-bite, and right there.
Then her shadows get involved. Poor baby was just trying to ground us, but oh no, that delicious touch poured petrol onto the raging fire.
Our dark sides flooded the bond with demands, screaming at us to pin her to the table and bond. Immediately.
When that didn’t work, the fuckers started conspiring, swapping ideas, creating X-rated images like a fucking special edition of the Kama Sutra.
Thank fuck Zeek created a mental block between us and Red before that conversation really got going, because the things they were saying…
“That was… careless of us,” Zeek says, finally. We’ve been in silence since we flitted here, even me. He flings his tablet onto the desk and pinches the bridge of his nose, shoving his glasses up with a sigh. “Julien, how are you feeling?”
Julien stands beside the wall of glass, looking out at the district. “I doubt my response will ease your concerns.”
Poor big guy. He’s still not fully grounded, I can practically feel the unrest oozing from him.
He managed to feed last night, just before we went to see Red, but it was… difficult.
We went to one of those feeding clinics together, but it was a hard watch.
Lines of warm, willing bodies all waiting their turn, and he could barely look at them. I was this close to chaining the fucker up and force-feeding him through a tube, when the owner led us to a refrigerated backroom.
Blood bags, hundreds, hung from the ceiling like fucked-up chandeliers. Eventually, Dark Julien took less offence to a row hanging in the back. He choked it down, but not without a lot of heaving.
I stuck it out though, because it didn’t even rank high on our list of fucked-up situations, but it was still nasty.
When he flung the dry, plastic packet to the floor, I saw what was written there. Pig blood.
Animal blood from a bag. Rock bottom with extra plastic.
I mean, at least it was something. Took the edge off his hunger, grounded his darkness enough that Kane deemed him safe to see Red.
But we all knew it wouldn’t last—he’d need to feed again soon or risk going full beast, and not the sexy kind.
“However, I wouldn’t say we were careless,” Julien suddenly counters, placing his back to the glass and surveying us. “We simply cannot predict what our bond will say, or do, and we especially cannot predict how we will… respond.”
“Yes, all very riveting observations, mate.” I wave my hand as I stroll closer to Kane by the door. “But we’re all good now, crisis averted, all thanks to Daddy Darkness here.” I throw him a wink.
Kane doesn’t respond with words, but that pitch-black stare says enough. Almost makes me wanna wink again…
“I’m not sure fine is the correct word either,” Julien slowly adds.
“No, it’s not fine, Sai,” Zeek snarks, now using his ‘I’m a Lord and I’m in charge’ voice. He even swipes off his glasses so he can really scowl at me. “That cannot happen again. We cannot lose control like that again.”
“Alright, we lost it at first, but then Red grounded us.” I head to Zeek’s desk next, and his eyes narrow a bit more with each step.
“Grounded?” he scoffs. “You call what happened when Jasmine’s darkness touched us grounded?”
“Well… eventually she did.” I shoot back with a grin. “We’ve just gotta learn not to lose our shit the next time our girl fancies a play.” I shrug easily, acting like the thought isn’t already making my darkness flare to life.
Ezekial sighs, some tension easing from those big-ass shoulders as he slumps back into his chair. “Let’s just… think about this pragmatically.”
“Brilliant.” I drawl the word out, and he scowls; I just smirk back.
“First, why did that happen?” Zeek asks while looking at everyone except me.
So I aim my attention at Julien, the most likely to have an answer, since Kane’s in one of his silent, brooding moods.
“I believe it was a combination of factors,” Julien begins, pacing by the window as he slips into full hypothesis mode.
I dramatically nod, faking enthusiasm, and I even manage to get a little laugh from Zeek.
That fucker loves me, even when he doesn’t.
“The abrupt removal from us, the time spent apart, then the sudden convergence last night and today. We were overwhelmed. To have starved that part of ourselves for so long, to be without her, and then to suddenly be so…” Julien pauses, searching for the right word. “Overindulged.”
And what a pretty word it is.
Filthy ideas spark in my mind, ones where I’m overindulging Red with all the things she wants, then all the things I want, then giving her even more.
“It needs to be…”
“Desensitised,” Kane finishes.
Desensitised?
I scowl, because that’s the very opposite of overindulging.
I cross my arms over my chest plate. “No, I don’t like that. I want to go back to overindulging.”
Because I like things to be sensitive. So sensitive there’s often begging and whimpering, and maybe a few tears.
Desensitised does not sound like my thing.
“To desensitise Jasmine, we need to spend more time with her,” Kane elaborates, ignoring my comment as his gaze sweeps over us. “Be closer.”
Never mind, I’ll be desensitised. Desensitise me the fuck up.
That’s my new favourite word. Second to Red.
“Mate, I need you to go into the specifics, right now.” My markings flare unashamedly.
“The only reason I could flit with Jasmine, then leave her—” Kane winces slightly, and we all know it’s his darkness giving him shit for that part—“is because I’ve spent more time with her recently.
More than all of you. We’ve spent time in the Dark Realm together, and we’ve been… physically closer.”
Oh, we know. The lucky bastard. His little sleepover with her flashes through my head, and we all suddenly glance at the sofa.
“So by spending more time, and being closer, you mean…” I hop onto the edge of Zeek’s desk. “Just so I’m crystal clear on this. You’re saying we need to touch her?”
Kane’s jaw sharpens into a deadly line, which makes me grin as I say, “And the shit you two gave—”
“Not that type of touching, you perverted fuck,” Zeek mumbles without looking up, studying something on a sheet of paper.
So I snatch it from his hands and toss it up into the air.
His gaze snaps to mine as the paper falls down around us. “Get off my desk before I touch you,” he growls.
“Now who’s the pervert?” I tease, but do as he says. I’ve already seen enough pissed off Zeek this week.
“Physical contact will be important.” My sight latches onto Julien as he continues with that. I’m all ears again. “But we need to let our darkness connect in a more... controlled way.”
The sudden hum filling the room means one thing, all our minds busily concocting what that might look like. And mine’s running a whole porno reel, progressively filthier with each scene. There’s even a leash cameo…
“Sai,” Ezekial rumbles in warning. Guess I let that one slip.
Normally, I’d keep going, but we’re all a little too close to the edge, so I rein it in and make the honourable decision of asking the question none of them want to touch.
“Who’s gonna break this to Red?”
Silence.
Oh, now they’re quiet? Tutting, I fish out my phone.
“What are you doing?” Zeek’s tone lowers into something wary as he stands to look over my shoulder.
“Making a new group chat.” I show him my screen with a smirk. “One that includes our girl so we can keep her in the loop. Y’know, keep her updated with things, like the fact we’ll need to take turns touching her so we don’t blow our load the next time her darkness wants to say hello.”
Zeek grimaces.
“Please think about this, Sai,” Julien says, flitting to my other side to glance down at my screen. “We could always make our own private group with her.”
The sneaky fuck. I give him a devious smirk, letting him know I heard him loud and clear.
“It’s a good idea.” No one is more shocked to hear Kane say that than me. Well, maybe his brother, but the point still stands.
Kane keeps his stern expression as he steps out of the shadows by the door. “The four of us together can be overwhelming for most. But for our bond...”
I swear I actually wilt at those words. Our bond. Fuck.
All of us seem to soften during that tiny pause.
“She was with us last night, and then again this morning—all of us together—while she’s still learning control, with that rune hindering her…” Kane always speaks clearly, with no ambiguity, and it hits us all at once: we’ve been pushing her too much.
Taking too much.
Great. Now my chest feels tight.
“We need to be more careful,” he adds. “Spend time in smaller numbers. Alone. In this realm and the dark.” He nods at my phone. “This way, we can still keep communication as one.”
“And any ideas on how we’re going to phrase this, brother?” Zeek asks, steering us back to the problem at hand. I begin to open my mouth, but he rudely interrupts, “Please take this seriously, Sai.”
I ignore him. “How about I open with: ‘Did you know Zeek was humping your adjoining wall last night?’ ”