Chapter 24 Julien
Sai: Well, that was fucking torture. Kudos to you, Zeek. Never wanted to fuck a wall before.
When Jasmine left last evening, we did the only reasonable thing four gentlemen, desperate for the same woman, could do.
We fought over who would stay in the room closest to hers.
We tried to keep it verbal, but Sai, naturally, lost his temper. After a bloody lip and a warning text from Jasmine, we stopped. Called a truce. Which meant the four of us stayed in that room together.
The brothers left early, and my dearest fae friend lingered as long as he could, at one point proclaiming I’d have to chain him in the Pit to make him leave.
He found the wall dividing us to be a torture. I, on the other hand, relished the torment.
Knowing she was just out of reach, feeling her in gentle whispers and nothing more. The heat that always simmered beneath my skin had cooled, my raging beast settled, her blood tempering the everlasting fire inside me.
And the memory of feeding from her… the taste of her blood, the sounds of her moans, the touch of her skin, the scent of her—
That was another delicious agony. My most prized possession. A moment she had given herself to me completely, let herself be vulnerable with me.
I will never forget it.
Will hope, pray, beg for more. More glimpses of that vulnerability.
And it seemed Sai had already begun to show his.
When he wasn’t caressing the wall that divided us from her—having chosen to sleep on the floor—he shared what I’d missed during my absence.
How he told our bond of his past life, how we met, and how he wondered if sharing that part of himself had somewhat instigated her actions—coming to me, feeding me, saving me.
Finding Sai was a bittersweet moment. Finding Jasmine was another.
It seemed I had a taste for mixing pain with pleasure. It was woven into my life. My fate. But I would suffer those agonising moments again and again, because the sweetness always came after, the darkness only making it richer.
All of it bringing me—us—to her.
Maybe it was my time to be vulnerable? To give. All I’d seemed to have done is take. Take from my brethren, take from her…
I contemplate all this while waiting for Jasmine to wake. Even though I would feel it, I still sent her a message. And every time my phone vibrates, my heart picks up. I find myself smiling at my body’s foolish reactions, especially when it isn’t even her.
Ezekial: How are you, Julien?
Me: I am well. Better than I can ever remember.
Kane: Ezekial should stay tonight.
I frown, ready to vehemently reply, when I see the slight tremor in my fingers. I inhale. Hold. One… two… three—exhale.
Me: I agree. However, I’d like to consider increasing to two persons per night. It will help with the desensitising process.
Sai: I’m so in. Fully. In.
Kane: Ask Jasmine.
My darkest of brethren is a quick learner, always has been, and my lips pull into a smile as I type.
Me: I will let you know her response.
The instant I feel her stir, my beast moves.
Her warmth seeps through the walls, calling to me like a fiery siren. But beneath the heat, a chill spreads through my veins, taming the fire in my blood.
I begin cooking.
Sai adored mocking my hobby, the irony too much for him—how I didn’t need to ingest the food I made.
But explaining how I enjoyed the methodical process, the instant result, how it eased me, was like trying to explain the beauty of Pelléas and Mélisande to someone who believes the louder the explosions, the better the story.
The second I see her ‘Good morning :)’ in the group Sai created for us all, I’m already standing outside Kacey’s door.
My speed and agility have returned, moving between the shadows almost instantaneously. I feel the most stable I have in… I couldn’t recount. There were too many centuries to flicker through to find a precise moment.
My knuckles rap lightly against the door. I know Kacey is gone because I spent the early hours speaking with Amon. To say he was pleased by my return is an understatement. The poor man also had a beast that required… feeding. And without my recent support, he had struggled.
Alas, I am much older, and he is still so young—harder to tame. But Kane is with him now, and that eased me. After all, his control of the dark far surpassed mine.
All my talk of control, being stable, shatters when the door opens.
My gaze rakes over the breathtaking goddess standing before me. Her wild flame of hair is ruffled, her sleepy sight barely locking onto me, her cheeks flush, bare legs revealing soft, milky skin.
My blood pulses with need, urging me closer, urging me to touch her…
Higher and higher, my gaze trails that sight until it’s cut off by baggy, black material.
A piece of clothing.
A man’s.
“Who does that belong to?” I ask, struggling to control the venom in my voice.
Her sleepy gaze narrows, dark brows drawing together as she follows the tilt of my head to the item in question.
She looks down at herself, then slowly raises her head. Her eyes widen and I’m leaning in without even realising.
She tempts me like no other simply by existing.
“Kane,” she murmurs, her wide eyes darting between mine.
That flush deepens, spreading down the smooth skin of her chest, until it disappears beneath the neck of Kane’s clothing.
I didn’t even think he owned clothes like this. I certainly did not. I believe Sai and Ezekial might…
Ah.
I smile softly, reaching down to touch one of the draw strings. “I see. Would you like something of mine too?”
Her lips part and her eyes turn glassy.
Was she still feeling the after-effects of my bite? I knew I was her first, even without prerequisite knowledge. I could feel it in her body’s reaction to the intrusion, how the sudden pleasure overwhelmed her… but it had been a full day.
Maybe I took too much? Maybe I wasn’t as controlled as I—
“Yes.” Her internal voice is a delicate husk, a whisper of seduction.
I pull on the drawstring, trying to bring her closer, but she blinks away her hazy expression and steps back.
I want—need—to follow. But I can’t.
“I didn’t mean to… That was meant to be…” Her nervous energy is ridiculously appealing, especially to my… predatorial side. Then she sighs, peering up at me. “Is this normal? Wanting to have your… things?”
“Yes. Just how it is normal for us to enjoy seeing you adorned in them.” I lean down, arm pressed against the door frame—closer. “If you require anything else, anything, you only need but ask.” My voice is soft as I simply admire her.
Admire the rise and fall of her chest, the peachy hue of her cheeks, her heart beat, the blood rushing through her veins, now my veins too—
And that is when the guilt blooms. The guilt of what I had done.
What she had given me. How she’d risked herself for me.
I sink to my knees before her. “You gave me more than I ever deserved,” I murmur, head bowed in quiet supplication. “And I will spend eternity trying to be worthy of it.”
“More than… More than you deserved?” Did I imagine that bite of anger in her tone?
I long to look, to gauge the storm behind her eyes, but I remain kneeling before her—where I belong.
“You believe you deserved to stay in the Pit? Chained? Suffering? Starving yourself into madness?”
“Yes.”
She scoffs at me, a hand coming to rest upon her hip.
But I continue before she rebuts, “I deserved every moment of it—for how I treated you, for betraying your trust, for withholding the truth.” Her heart races, the rhythm betraying her anger. “I will never stop trying to earn your forgiveness. Not only for last night. For all of it.”
There’s a heated pause.
I feel her gaze trailing over me, like the blood—her blood—running through me is magnetised to her every movement.
“Well, this is a pretty good start,” she muses. “You on your knees.”
I lift my head, meeting her eyes now level with mine.
My voice drops, low and edged with something darker. “You enjoy seeing me on my knees for you, mon ame?”
She leans in slightly, just enough to make me feel it.
“I haven’t decided,” she murmurs, eyes sweeping down then up. “Maybe I should keep you there a little longer.”
I fight to keep my expression composed. “Then by all means,” I say, voice threaded with something darker, “keep me.”
I see it then, the flicker of something in her gaze—not just amusement, but curiosity.
I remain where I am, waiting. Not because I am powerless. Not because I have no choice. But because, for the first time in my existence, I want to be exactly where she has put me.
At her feet.
Hers.
I take a moment to appreciate her form again.
Even in the shapeless, baggy clothing, it’s a tease.
Only makes me work harder to imagine what’s beneath.
I’d seen her in those short and tight dresses at The Inferno, they starred in many daydreams, I was almost certain I could draw from memory the body I imagined awaited me. Maybe I’d ask Sai to paint it...
“Did you cook?” She shifts, moving to the side as she scents the air.
I study her expression as it flickers, her brows pulling together, lips parting with the softest confusion before she looks back to me.
My lips curl into a small smile.
“A vampire who cooks… huh.” She huffs a quiet laugh.
“I am a man of many talents,” I murmur, the rasp in my voice intentional. “Are you hungry, mon ame?” I ask with more grit than I intend.
Because, somehow—still—I am ravenous.
Her eyes take on that glassy hue again, her teeth embedding her plump lower lip. Sai thought the wall was a torment but no. This. This is true torture.
She nods, her lip pulling free as she does.
“Come,” I say, holding out my hand for her, still on my knees. I won’t stand until she permits it.
“I just need to get dressed—”
“Why?”
She laughs, it’s quick and breathless but my darkness pulses at the heavenly sound.
“I don’t have pants on,” she says. I fail to see the problem, remaining silent with my hand holding still. She quirks a brow. “And I need shoes.”