Chapter 41 Jasmine
Their absence is louder than any silence.
The ache immediate, carved into my chest, an inescapable hollowness.
I glance at the shadows which flicker, and for a breathless moment, I think one of them might return.
But they don’t.
They’re keeping their word, their promise to me, like they have every day since they made it.
I try to distract myself, checking in with the creatures that still need feeding, completing every mindless task I can find, but the ache only grows.
Relentless, bone-deep, incessant.
My fingers find that eroding spot in my chest, feeling it, claiming it.
Later on, when the light that shines through the atrium’s glass ceiling starts to lower, I go and speak with Amon. He assures me he will look after Kacey and Raelynn, even the animals, and I believe him.
Then I slip away to Kacey’s apartment, flitting into my old bedroom with help from Sai’s stone against my chest. Maybe I don’t need it anymore, but I like the weight of it, and of Julien’s beside it. I catch myself wondering if the others would ever give me one too.
I gather a few belongings, some of the clothes most likely gifted by Julien, my phone, and then my hand hovers over the Henbane plant on the windowsill, but I leave it, choosing the small sapling in the black pot instead.
Last, I take the crumpled contract on the desk, the one I barely skimmed and pretended to sign a few days ago. Everything fits in my arms.
I can’t stay here. Not now, not in this apartment. Kacey needs it. She needs time with her bonded, and space for her sister.
And I need to be closer to them.
The door to their apartment is open, of course it is.
I search the bedrooms quickly. They’re all immaculate, untouched, except one. Kane’s hoodie lies on the floor, stained with blood, sheets rumpled, breakfast tray abandoned. I decide this won’t be my room.
I head for the one furthest from the living space, identical to the others, and dump my things onto the bed, feeling a flicker of pride and accomplishment.
I wasn’t ready to go back to their house. For some reason, that felt too much, too soon. But this feels right. A smaller step, a little closer, because if they can’t accept my words, my actions will have to speak louder.
And my feelings.
My fingers trace my sternum again, to that blissful ache.
Bonded. I’m bonded.
I fall onto the bed and release a breathless laugh that surprises even me.
“What the fuck,” I mutter to the ceiling, clutching my chest, feeling the connection, the ache of them.
Even with the blood rune, it’s still so strong, almost… stronger now.
Because it’s real. This is real. They’re mine and I’m… theirs.
And I’m finally accepting it.
My fingers search the bed for the nearest pillow and I slam it over my face, letting out a long muffled scream.
What would Alexis say? Fuck. What would she say? I groan into the pillow, pressing it down harder.
And if the Cloaks really have been eliminated in this District, does that mean the barrier will be dropped? I’ll be able to see her again. All of them.
I let the pillow fall away, staring up at the ceiling as those thoughts linger.
After all this time… how long had it been? How many months? I’ve lost count, too consumed by my own thoughts and my bonds.
My bonds.
The word doesn’t feel strange anymore. I stare at the ceiling in disbelief, hands resting on my chest.
Then I move, gathering my contract, and for the first time in a very long time—I let my darkness lead me.
I trust it. Accept it.
Which is how I end up in the bed. The one still humming with remnants of my bonds’ power, their cool darknesses and snippets of warmth crackling light all enthused within these sheets.
I crawl beneath the covers, letting it wash over me, even their remains help soothe the throbbing ache.
It’s strange that in some sick way… I like the pain. Like it’s proof, a reminder of them, of this bond.
It’s real.
I sigh. The creepy voice returns, and its satisfied tone isn’t missed by me. It knew, all this time.
We did.
I scoff at my voice, at myself. Maybe I knew something, but I didn’t understand it fully.
Or refused to.
That’s uncalled for.
But… maybe I had always known. I knew there was something, even if I couldn’t name it. From the very beginning, the pull to them was always so strong. Maybe that’s why Sai had been so desperate, and why Julien had struggled to cage his beast.
They’ve apologised over and over, with their words, on their knees, in various other ways. But even I faltered, I allowed their touches too early without any real protest.
And now we’re bonded.
Bound together in more than blood, power, or flesh, but our very souls.
I reach for the very official, totally legally binding contract. I flip to the final page, the only one that mattered if Julien was to be believed, and re-read the ridiculous requests.
With a soft laugh, I pick up the pen clipped to it.
I scribble a few edits of my own, small additions, sweet threats, and pause above the dotted line. My lips curl into a smile as I carefully sign my name—pause halfway—then end it.
They’re here.
Their combined powers press against the walls, seeking me out, reaching with that desperate, magnetic pull. And I choose the most mature response possible.
I pretend to sleep.
Pulling the cover slightly over my face, I close my eyes and focus on settling my breathing as their powers build with feverish need.
What did Sai say that time? Breathe in. Hold… one, two—
“She’s not at Kacey’s.” Sai’s voice cracks through my mind, full of panic and building rage.
I drag the blanket higher. There’s a tangle of footsteps, some heavier than others, the rustles of shadows, a crackle. Then a pause.
“Here.” It’s Kane who finds me, and I feel the others flit instantly.
I lie incredibly still, refusing to give myself away, as all their feelings slip into me.
Relief. Yearning. Solace. Adoration.
“She’s… here?” Ezekial sounds bewildered, like he truly can’t believe I’m in their apartment, in their bed. “And she’s… sleeping?”
“She may have sleepwalked again,” Julien offers, but then he goes quiet.
They all do.
I wonder if I’ve suddenly lost the ability to hear them, or they’ve realised my act and—
“We’re bonded.” Kane’s voice breaks the silence, but his soft shock is completely overshadowed by a deep… reverence.
“So, how do we do this?” Sai asks.
I frown beneath the blanket. What does he mean?
“Do what?” Ezekial says.
“Y’know… woo her. Or whatever.”
Woo me?
“Do you even know what that means?” Ezekial quips, teasing him. Then his voice drops lower, mockingly so. “Do you even know how to woo a woman?”
“I’m sure I know how to woo our girl. Unlike you with your fucking contract.”
“She requested it,” Ezekial mutters.
Julien sighs. “Sai does raise a valid point.”
“Ha!”
“Not about the contract,” Julien clarifies quickly, and Sai huffs. “We need to continue earning her forgiveness, gaining her trust, easing her into… other prospects. We cannot rush her.”
“I can’t be friend-zoned for eternity, man.”
I bite down on my knuckle to keep from laughing.
“We should wake her,” Kane says, but the others protest in a chorus of groans and hisses.
He waits for them to finish. “You speak of trust?” he says, calm and measured. “Returning her to the other side of that wall, not keeping her here simply because we want it, is a start.”
“It’s more than a want, mate,” Sai murmurs.
“I know,” Kane concedes with a softness that makes me ache. “I want her here too.”
My Goddesses.
Hearing Kane—stoic demon, master of darkness—admit that sends something sharp through me.
He wants me. Here. With them. With him.
“Ezekial, how did you return her when she came to you?” Julien’s question is met with a tense silence.
And more silence.
I hold my breath.
“Zeek?” Sai prompts.
Nothing.
When even more silence follows, Sai laughs, delighted. “Oh, this fucker. I knew you were lying!”
“She asked me not to say anything.”
“When?” Kane’s voice is sharp.
“The night before the Lead Commanders meeting.”
“Fuck, that’s why you looked so smug.”
“And the morning of…” Ezekial adds, barely audible.
Julien chuckles under his breath. Sai scoffs. Kane feels… curious.
“Well, what about you two?” Ezekial throws back. “She was half dressed, and ready to flee when I arrived.”
“Fuck me, she was,” Sai moans, fully immersed in the memory, even before he shares a snippet.
Flushed skin, wild-haired, only wearing Kane’s hoodie.
The room groans in unison.
“Until your dark ass showed up and ruined it.”
“I doubt my brother would say ruined…” Ezekial’s soft murmur entices Sai and Julien, their emotions flaring with interest.
“Come on, Kane,” Sai goads. “Share with the group.”
Rather than answer, Kane shows the moment.
The image of Ezekial and me in bed together. How his brother was holding me so tightly as Kane lurked in the shadows. But then he’s closer and I’m pulling back the covers, encouraging him, accepting him without words, without hesitation. I pull him closer, touching him, hovering my lips over his.
He even shows how he crumbles beneath that brief kiss, cutting it off just as he starts to devour my mouth.
“We are fan-ta-stic at wooing,” Sai declares proudly.
“That’s not wooing,” Ezekial groans.
“Wooing is about spending time together, learning about each other, allowing her to see who we are and let her choose,” Julien explains, then his voice lowers. “Kane has shared his past, as have I and Sai.”
Ezekial’s warmth brushes closer. “And me.”
“So at least she has an idea of what she’s getting into,” Sai mutters, trying for flippancy.
“She deserves more,” Kane states simply, his conviction sending a cool shiver down my spine. “We share everything, every part of ourselves, every piece we once buried. Whatever she needs, whatever it takes to show her what she means to us...”
I feel Sai’s apprehension before he speaks, “And what if she asks for more… space?”
“Then we’ll listen,” Kane replies. “We’ll listen to every word she says. We won’t rush her, we’ll be whatever she needs us to be, even if it’s just silence.”
A cool hand brushes over my hair, unknowingly soothing my racing heart after such earnest words.
Kane’s words.
“Well, Daddy Darkness might not know how to flirt, but he definitely knows how to woo.” Sai sounds genuinely impressed.
“We should wake her,” Julien repeats Kane’s previous suggestion, albeit sounding more reluctant.
This time, no one protests.
I feel them all move closer, their warmth, heat, coolness and hum of their powers all layering over another in an addictive sensation.
Then it stops.
“Is that…” Sai murmurs, a breath away. “Is that the contract?”
A hand gently lifts the paper, pages rustle as they’re turned, then a soft, stunned laugh breaks the hush.
“She’s made amendments,” Ezekial laughs.
“Give it to me,” Sai snaps, shifting.
“Oh, now you think my contract is a good—”
Silence.
“Brother?”
Then Julien asks, “Ezekial, what is it?”
There’s a faint crinkle of paper, then all their emotions spike. And beneath the cover, I smile.
They’ve found it.
My signature.
“Jasmine Nimur.”
I try to pinpoint the voice, but I can’t, because it’s all of them. In a single breath, in varying tones of softness and rapture.
“Zeek, has my collar come yet? Because I know what I want on the tag.”