Chapter Sixteen
The end of the summer had finally come, and Elias was sad.
It was her last day in the community, and she had promised to see him once more before she went to the airport and flew out to see out the rest of the semester.
As much as he wanted to ask her to stay, he knew that she needed to figure it out on her own.
It was one of the hardest parts of the process for those in the Amish community who wanted to see the conversion succeed.
“You wanted to see me today, Hannah?”
Elias had arrived at John’s haus, and he was glad to see that she hadn’t left yet. He hadn’t been able to get away earlier. His animals came first. He was glad she understood that much, but he felt a little guilty about not getting away sooner.
“I did. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching while I’ve been here,” she started.
“I’ve not come to a solid conclusion on anything yet, but I do know that my heart is torn between here and what I grew up with.
I’m going to go back to the city to see out the rest of the semester at least, but I can’t guarantee anything after that. ”
“What do you need from me?”
He was sure that she was about to ask him something big, but he wanted to get to the point. He didn’t do well beating around the bush.
“I wanted to get your address,” she replied.
“I know that I can’t get your phone number, but I can get your address to write letters.
While John already has my dad’s address and now my dorm address, I think you’re the only other person here I would feel comfortable giving my address to in person. Unless it’s an emergency, I mean.”
“Of course. Do you have a pen and paper ready? I’ll write mine down, and you can do the same,” he said.
She nodded and held up the paper and two pens.
Then, she invited him into John’s haus. He was glad to have at least gotten her address.
As he wrote his address down for her, he wondered what to say after all of this.
He wasn’t sure if she would come back, and it seemed to him that she wasn’t sure either.
“Do you think you’ll be coming back?”
“It’s a distinct possibility. At least to visit,” Hannah admitted. “I love the way of life here. And I’ve come to love your animals too. But I need to know for myself which life I want to follow in my heart, and right now, I’m not entirely sure.”
Elias nodded.
“I understand. Well, at least you’re exploring it.
A lot of people won’t even go that far because they find our clothing too uncomfortable or our rules too restricting.
” Elias frowned a little. “I don’t know why they feel that way, but I suppose it always feels that way if you didn’t grow up that way. At least a little bit.”
“The long-sleeved dresses in the heat did take some getting used to, but the skirts act as a way to cool me down,” Hannah offered.
“But I’ve been in more uncomfortable clothing in more uncomfortable conditions than this.
I think this would be doable as long as the skirt swished with every step.
It seems to happen automatically, at least. That makes it a little easier to work with. ”
Elias couldn’t help but laugh a little. She had a great outlook on life, and it would take her far, no matter what she decided she wanted out of it. He hoped she was happy with whatever she decided to do with her life.
“You have a beautiful laugh, Elias,” Hannah said.
“Danke, Hannah. I’m sure you do, too, when you laugh as heartily as I do,” Elias replied. “I hope I get to hear it one day.”
Hannah blushed a little. As much as Elias knew this would be seen as flirting, he couldn’t hold back any longer.
He wanted her to know that he wanted her to come back, that he even looked forward to it.
That blush spread a little more across her cheeks and deepened, but it seemed quite a welcome reaction.
“Well, if that’s all you needed, I’m sure you have a lot of preparations to do to get back to school,” Elias said. “Perhaps I should let you get back to those preparations?”
“Elias… if I were committing to this life, would you want to date me?”
The question stopped him in his tracks. Now he could feel a blush spread on his cheeks. There was certainly a lot he could have said to answer that question, but he wondered if the blush would be enough.
“What made it apparent?”
“You blushing around me, and the fact that you’ve personally been showing me around the community despite clear attention from others this summer,” Hannah replied.
“Elias, it’s sweet that you would want to date me if I were to commit to this lifestyle.
Part of the reason I feel so torn is that I like you, too, but I don’t want to mess with your religious convictions. ”
“Hannah, you could never make me feel like I have to choose between you and the way of life I’ve chosen,” Elias reassured her. “Whatever you decide to do, you have my support. I’d just like to see how you end up happy.”
Hannah smiled a little more, and then he walked out of the haus.
As he walked home, Elias couldn’t stop the large smile that spread from ear to ear. He hadn’t meant to find out whether she would want to court him, but he was glad to know the answer. It gave him the confidence to see her decision through to the end.