Chapter Six #3
“Thankfully, she’s back in Connecticut now, rebuilding her life.
He controlled so much for so many years; who she socialized with, where she worked, everything.
She’s been working hard on herself and her career.
She has her associates degree, but she never did much with it.
Now she’ll hopefully pursue the career she dreamed of when we were kids. ”
“Of course, she and I are working on our relationship. We’re not as close as we once were, but things are getting better. We get together when we can. Actually, we have plans to have dinner in the coming days.
The truth was, no matter how fast Rachel wanted it to go, mending the connection with Jess was going slowly.
When her frustration was at peak levels, Rachel reminded herself of something their mom would say.
‘You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give.’
Rachel smiled at the memory of her mom forever quoting Eleanor Roosevelt’s wisdom.
Her mom greatly respected Mrs. Roosevelt.
One year they’d even vacationed in New York so they could visit the Eleanor Roosevelt historic home of Val-Kill.
Whenever she or Jess had struggled, her mom would repeat the quote.
Somehow now, after what transpired, the quote felt much more personal.
Would her mom think she was meeting this situation with the best she had to give?
It was distressing to think she might not be living up to her expectations.
Her mom had always been such a guiding force, perhaps she’d deviated too much from those lessons.
Or maybe she’d let fear take too great a hold.
She wished with all of her heart that her mom was still around to talk to, to seek for advice.
“I’m just glad she’s back and doing well,” Rachel said. “Although it kills me, I didn’t see Chris for who he was.”
“Is that your concern with Cal?” Lisa asked.
“Not consciously,” Rachel hedged. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to herself that she’d developed a severe aversion to anyone who reminded her of Chris. “Part of it is that certain personality traits or attitudes bring all this up for me. That’s bad enough to begin with.”
Rachel had a sip of her sangria, struggling to share what she was feeling.
Lisa and Lottie gave her the time to find her words.
“The other part is that I’m paranoid about making the same mistake.
I didn’t see what or who Chris actually was.
If I had, if I’d taken the time back then, things would have been different. ”
“But you don’t know that,” Lisa pushed back. “I understand your viewpoint, however I think you’re taking responsibility for things you shouldn’t be. Even if you’d seen or guessed what Chris would do, there’s no way to know the outcome.”
Lisa had a point. Rachel just didn’t know whether it would change the way the guilt ate at her. Her sister had endured hell, their family was destroyed, and she’d lost years with her sister. It was hard not to believe she could have changed that and saved them all from so much heartbreak and pain.
“Lisa, I hear you. I’ll have to give that more thought.”
“Not for nothing,” Lottie added. “I know we don’t like Cal.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Lisa said over her shoulder as she went back into the house to grab the remainder of dinner.
“I mean,” Lottie continued. “You, yourself said you weren’t sure if you were accurately perceiving Cal’s behavior correctly.
Maybe your radar is set on high, as it naturally would be.
It’s also possible that given what you’ve said about the obvious tension with his parents around White Hall Estate, he might be going through something right now.
Perhaps he isn’t showing you his true or best self. ”
Lisa came onto the deck and started setting containers on the table. “I’m not sure there’s any actual answer to this right now. I would say you are among the most perceptive, compassionate people I know.”
“Here! Here!” Lottie cheered, making Rachel smile.
“It’s important to trust your instincts, but also keep in mind that Cal is not Chris. At least we don’t know that for sure. Why not try to go into the project with an open mind? Be aware of your potential bias that may cause you to judge him unfairly.”
“Open mind. Perceptive heart. Trust your gut,” Lottie summed up.
Rachel nodded. She had a great deal to think about in the coming days. There was a lot riding on this project. Furthermore, she refused to treat someone unfairly. Her friends were right. “That’s doable,” she replied.
“And we expect a detailed report,” Lottie stated before lifting her glass.
“To Rachel and her new project. May it be fun, informative, and amazing. And may the hunky guy with the great suits and the long lashes, and emerald green eyes, not prove to be the most despicable human being on the planet who we have to covertly bury in a shallow grave late one night deep in the Connecticut wilderness. Cheers!”
Silence greeted her proclamation. Rachel blinked repeatedly and then realized her mouth had fallen open during Lottie’s toast. Snapping it shut, she shared a look with the equally confused Lisa.
She was about to ask any one of the number of questions flying through her brain. But Lisa shrugged and raised her own glass. “Cheers!”
They both looked at Rachel, so she threw her hands up and reached for her own glass. “Cheers!” They clinked glasses and took a sip.
Lisa pounced. “Connecticut wilderness, Lottie? Really? I don’t think Connecticut has a wilderness.”
“I’m sure we could find some,” Lottie fired back. “But fine. Wilderness, large body of water, abandoned mine shaft.”
“A mine shaft,” Lisa responded. “Where the hell are we going to find a mine shaft?”
Rachel dropped her head into her hands. Damn if she didn’t feel lighter for talking about Jess. And now the pair were cracking her up. She was blessed to have people like this in her life.
“You’re so picky,” Lottie huffed. “A mine shaft is a perfectly acceptable… Oh wait. Not an abandoned mine shaft. An abandoned vineyard! Yes! That’s a winner right there. All spooky but sophisticated.”
Rachel didn’t resist the laughter that bubbled up. With these two keeping her feet on the ground and her heart soaring, this project would be a piece of cake.
“I swear, you have got to stop listening to those true crime podcasts while you sew,” Lisa muttered.