Chapter 6 #2
Dad’s high expectations were not meant to crush my spirit but to mold me into an heir worthy of inheriting the throne. His eyes gleaming with pride, Dad pulled me into a warm embrace. I wanted to reciprocate, but I couldn’t lift my arms to wrap them around his massive torso.
After I stepped away from Dad, I said, “I’m heading back to my room to change.”
Dad nodded and started putting the equipment away.
I knew Dad loved me, but as I stood in front of my bedroom door, ready to crumble into my soft bed, I couldn’t help but think that Dad pushed me hard because maybe he thought I was weak.
He was fiercely protective of our kingdom and knew that his daughter, as the future Queen, couldn’t protect it and its people.
Exhaustion clouded my mind as I tried to wash off the pain and dirt under the steaming shower.
Why didn’t he and Mom try for another child? They could have another heir—a baby brother who would be the next ruler. I would have gladly relinquished my right over to him.
Once dressed, I sighed, rolled my shoulders back, and drew a deep breath. I’d show Dad what his daughter was made of. Armed with my resolve, I exited the safety of my bedroom and headed toward the training grounds, where I planned to participate in the transformation ritual.
Classmates from school and other teenagers passed by as I strolled back to the training grounds.
Every pup who had felt their wolf, usually between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, would attempt to shift today.
The beaming faces of the teenagers around me made my heart sink deeper into my stomach.
Maybe to Mom and Dad, I appeared insane to attempt another unsuccessful shift since I’d failed twice before, but I sure was about to try again. Today was another chance to prove that I was the King’s daughter, although I’d never felt another conscience, a voice, or an animalistic instinct in me.
I felt human.
But the teenagers who failed to shift in their early teens were deemed latent. They were given more chances to call on their wolves as they matured by age eighteen, when their wolves would finally emerge.
I could be latent and not defective. I was only fifteen, after all.
At the same training grounds where I trained with Dad just a couple of hours ago, about twenty of us sat on the rough dirt with the King in the middle of the circle. A crowd of pack members and Dad’s Alphas gathered around us. A buzz of excitement in the air made my lungs constrict.
To the family members of the teenagers, this day was a day of celebration, the equivalent of a graduation day. Their kids were moving on to become what they were always meant to be—werewolves.
Dad gave us instructions, and his gaze traveled over each of us.
A few girls to my side whispered while watching me with what I deciphered to be disgust, their not-so-secret glances unsettling me. Dad flashed them his wolf eyes, and the girls quieted down with bowed heads.
I’d heard Dad’s instructions two other times.
Teen werewolves could be left on their own accord to shift alone, but it was risky and painful.
The King used his Alpha tone to order the teenagers to follow the steps to avoid more pain, to prevent the process from lasting too long, risking paralysis or death, in rare cases.
I was the only one dressed in clothes, while all the other girls and boys were naked with blankets wrapped around their bodies. I was sure I was also the only one with a beet color on her heated face.
I sucked in a deep breath. I had to shift.
I shook my head. But I was a human since I lacked the skills of the supernaturals. Mom and Dad never talked to me about it and never explained how I was born a human who couldn’t heal as fast or run as fast.
But maybe my wolf was asleep, and I was latent. I still had an instinct to feel the supernatural presence of another around me. There still was a chance that I could make Dad proud.
I’d daydreamed about my wolf, imagining her with a silky white coat of fur, slender, and a smaller size than the average wolf. But no matter how much I visualized my wolf, I’d never felt it inside me or connected with a beastly side.
I lowered my head, my hair draped around my face, but when Dad’s voice quieted and silence broke around me, I lifted my gaze.
Layla strolled in, wrapped in a thin white bedsheet around her body that looked like a white strapless dress.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the boys’ stunned faces and the girls’ awestruck expressions.
Two boys immediately made space for my cousin to sit between them.
Dad waited until she was settled in the circle and continued his instructions.
The King was well-practiced in hiding his emotions, and as I gazed at his face, reminding me of Uncle Derek’s, I wondered how much guilt Dad felt. Was it as overbearing as the guilt I carried on my shoulders for being the cause of Layla’s dad’s demise?
The teenagers’ bright eyes flashed with their wolf eyes—some yellow, some amber or black. The crowd quieted down, and the air around me suddenly stood still. The magic of the transformation had begun.
The teenagers’ canines prolonged, touching their bottom lips. Hands flew to their mouths, brushing their teeth, smiles forming on their lips. I ran my tongue over my dull teeth and felt no change. Except that my bottom lip started trembling. I sucked in a breath through my clenched jaw.
A guy with shoulder-length hair nearby whimpered, his face scrunched in a frown.
“The pain is too much. I can feel it in my bones,” he said in a distorted voice.
His wolf pushed through, ready to take over.
The King smiled at him. “Don’t be afraid. It’s normal. You’ll be fine.”
Dad kept on talking while pacing inside the circle, explaining what we should expect.
“You’ll feel like you want to grow out of your skin. But you have to show your wolf who the boss is. You’ll take control so the animal doesn’t take it away from you,” the King said while the girls and boys watched him with admiration.
“Focus on the burning in your muscles and bones,” he added.
Except for the burning desire to shift and the ache in my chest, I felt nothing else. Mentally, I called on my wolf as Dad had instructed but only felt stupid.
The next transformation stage began with the crunch of bones filling the air. Claws appeared, and more smiles beamed on the crowd’s faces.
I looked at Dad’s face again, but there was no disappointment or anger, which I had expected to see. His excited gaze moved from person to person as he tracked each transformation.
Was he that good at hiding it, then? Didn’t he feel disappointed that I wouldn’t join the pack runs in the forest? Would he give up on me soon?
The last couple of guys shifted into their wolves, and finally, my gaze fell on Layla. She’d tossed the bedsheet behind her and stood on all fours. Light-brown fur covered her body, her wobbly paws dug into the dirt, and her head shook.
“Layla, faster. Shift faster,” Dad commanded in his Alpha tone.
When Layla’s muzzle and canines emerged, the crowd let out a collective breath of relief. Her wolf was almost the color of her blonde hair, as well as slender and beautiful.
Her blue animal eyes snapped at me, watching me with so much intensity that, for a moment, I feared she’d pounce at me. Time seemed to slow as the wolf and I stared at each other.
“Layla,” Dad shouted, and the wolf sat on her hind legs, looking at him.
I let out a small sigh. Since I couldn’t shift yet again, I knew that from this moment forward, the kingdom was going to be a much more dangerous place for me.
A cold chill sliced down my spine, my butt numbed on the hard ground. Everyone except me had shifted into their wolves and now inspected their paws, wide-eyed.
“Get accustomed to your new shape and form, with the changed view of the world around you,” Dad told them.
Although the King’s words were directed at the newly shifted wolves, his words finally sank into my mind. I had to accept my reality.
I was wolfless. Not latent. There was no doubt in my mind that I was a human who lacked magic and supernatural abilities.
Tears stung behind my hot eyelids, but I blinked and blinked and refused to let them go.
“Run to the first line of trees and come back,” Dad ordered.
Awkwardly, I sat there for the entire kingdom to stare at.
I knew the rumors would start as soon as Dad followed the young wolves to the forest. People wondered if I was really the King’s daughter or if he’d adopted me.
As usual, Mom and Dad would stop any ridiculous gossip, but it wouldn’t ease my mind.
Dad took off his shirt and shifted into his sizeable black wolf in the blink of my eyes. His wolf’s powerful paws left dirt behind as he sprinted toward the trees. He ran with the rest of the group, who wobbled and bumped into each other.
I’d never know how it felt for my paws to dig into the soil, catch the scent of the tiniest animals in the forest, and hear the soft pulsing of their hearts. I’d never feel invincible and free. I’d never feel comfortable in my own skin.
I wanted to put my hands over my face to stop the tears from falling. A heavy weight pressed on my shoulders. Not being blessed with a wolf was the biggest punishment for me. After this, the Fates wouldn’t bless me with a fated mate.
My breathing hitched as I sat there alone, surrounded by the gossiping crowd, until the pounding of paws echoed a moment later. The wolves returned. Some sat on their hind legs, and some stood. They bowed their heads in submission as they waited for their King’s command.
The young wolves still didn’t know how to shift back into their human form.
Dad appeared in shorts from behind a tree, walking back to the crowd.
“Shift,” he said in his Alpha tone. “You’ll practice shifting until the transformation becomes second nature.”
I dropped my gaze to the unforgiving cold ground. I couldn’t hear Dad talking anymore as more blood rushed to my head. I thought the King said that the transformation process would get easier with time. But would his advice apply to my pain?
The crunching of bare feet echoed around me, and someone bumped into my side. I glanced over and caught sight of a white bedsheet.
“No wolf, then no mate,” Layla said in a low voice laced with menace.
My cheeks burned while she walked away with her friends.
My longing to belong to a fated mate must have clouded my mind and pushed me to desperately attempt to shift into something I would never be.
If I didn’t possess a wolf spirit, then the Fates wouldn’t have blessed me with a mate, which to me was everything.
It was what my parents were. A mate would have been my home. Protection. Love.
The crowd dispersed, but not before people gave me judgmental stares, pouring scorn and contempt over me in waves. I’d been so foolish to appear at the transformation ritual today. I wanted to disappear from the kingdom and forget this day ever happened.
If I wasn’t blessed with a wolf spirit, then why was I living in the werewolf kingdom among the werewolves?
I simply did not belong.