Chapter 11 #2
I clenched and unclenched my fists. Hayden had succeeded in showing me that my dark magic could injure my mate. Why? Did Hayden really love me so much that he wouldn’t let darkness consume me?
“Don’t let your darkness hurt your mate,” he said.
I couldn’t believe how far Hayden had gone to make his point.
“Why do I have to fight the dark magic in me?” I probed.
I didn’t want to be a dark witch, but I had to understand if Hayden’s reasons went beyond the fact that he cared about me.
“I could probably stand a chance against Cordelia’s dark magic. Why wouldn’t I embrace it?” I asked.
I studied him with narrowed eyes, but his movements made my body jerk. Hayden stepped into my private space and placed his other hand over my heart.
“Slow down your breathing. You must keep your magic light because that’s who you are, Breanna.”
He sounded…reasonable, but my instincts told me Hayden was holding back, and there was more to his determination to help me. Or had I become too sensitive and distrustful after recent events?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you. But all I could think about was that you were wrong. Perhaps I am a mix of darkness and light,” I said.
His touch soothed me, and soon I regained my normal breathing.
“That’s why you have me, sweetheart. I’ll help you.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure if you can. I created one of those creatures…just like Cordelia created those dogs.”
“I don’t believe you’re like her, but the sooner you forget Torin, the sooner the darkness will subside.”
I let out a heavy sigh, but the tightness in my chest remained.
As he stood before me, my gaze fell on his raw wound, and remorse surfaced, and with it, my dark magic faded. The bracelet slowly turned shimmery gold again.
“Your wound is deeper than I thought. Let me help you.”
He gently grabbed my hand and leaned in, his breath tickling my skin. “I’ll heal fast, but I want you to heal, too. Please do it for me,” he whispered.
I blinked repeatedly as I stared at the man before me. He felt like a stranger to me, and I couldn’t reconcile the previous coldness in his eyes when he’d crushed a bird with the tenderness now in his voice.
I drew a deep breath and averted my gaze, trying to find the words to explain my confusion. A sense of unease settled in my stomach as if something wasn’t right.
Something between me and Hayden had changed, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.
Big, cold raindrops fell on my face. Suddenly, rain poured down on us in sheets. On cue, the wind picked up, and I shivered. There was no way we could outrun the storm.
Flashes of lightning illuminated the forest, casting fleeting glimpses of narrowed branches and twisted roots. The thunder that followed, a deep and primal roar, reverberated through the trees, shaking the ground beneath my feet.
I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. The storm terrified me and exhilarated me at the same time, reminding me of the raw power of the supernatural world. I reopened my eyes.
The heavy raindrops fell fast, splattering against leaves and the forest floor, creating a symphony of patterns around this muddy landscape and making each step a slippery challenge.
Even amid a storm, a strange beauty emerged. The vibrant greens of the forest seemed to intensify the earthy smell released by the raindrops, and mingled with dampness, created a strong, intoxicating scent. A sense of awe washed over me.
I witnessed nature’s untamed beauty. Maybe, just like the storm, I could find peace and beauty in my dark magic.
Despite what Hayden wanted or believed.
Hayden grasped my wrist, and pulling me behind him, we sprinted in some direction. After a moment, we entered a large cave opening.
I experienced a déjà-vu moment from when I hid the beaten boy in the kingdom cave. However, the boy had grown into a handsome man who still looked like a fallen angel, but I wasn’t certain who the man truly was. But I knew now that his obsession with me extended far.
As if he knew my thoughts, Hayden’s unwavering gaze made me feel like I was the only person in the world. Passion and emotion filled his eyes, and his touch felt electric.
Smiling, he released me and then disappeared for a moment. When he came back, he carried twigs and logs. He stacked them and looked at me expectantly.
“Fire,” I said, willing my weapon to work.
My bracelet caught on fire, its flames a mixture of light, black, and orange. Leaning in, I let the flames around my hand travel to the wood, igniting it.
The rain poured relentlessly outside, and the air inside the cave weighed heavily with the scent of wet earth. The patter of the rainfall echoed through the cave walls.
My wet shirt clung to my body, soaking and adding uncomfortable weight to my already tight chest. Shivering, I glanced at Hayden, unable to stop the force of the mate bond.
I traced the contours of his strong physique.
His wet shirt and sweatpants accentuated the lines of his toned muscles, sending my heart racing.
“Sweetheart?”
“Huh?” I finally lifted my gaze to meet his heated look.
The flicker of light from the small campfire danced across his face, emphasizing his strong jawline and the intensity of his eyes.
“If it wasn’t for our partial mate bond, do you think you could have fallen in love with me?”
I couldn’t believe Hayden had created a bond with me so that I could love him. Was there more to it, though?
I focused on the fire, the flames casting shadows on the cave walls. I didn’t want to lie to him. I cared for him, but the intensity of my attraction was physical, driven by the bond.
“Your unwavering determination and kindness you’ve shown me for so many years have captured my heart, Hayden. I’ve always thought you were handsome, but the mate bond amplifies my emotions. Without our bond…I’m not sure what I would have felt, especially if Torin was around.”
The sharp intake of air echoing in the cave had me snap my gaze at my mate. His corded neck and twitchy jaw muscles told me my answer hadn’t pleased him.
“But your father and your mom are chosen mates and happy together. They love each other. Can’t we be like them?”
I tried not to frown, but my eyelids kept twitching. “You forced the chosen bond on me. My parents’ chosen bond was consensual.”
Hayden cast his gaze on the dancing flames.
“And also…” I swallowed hard. “What if Willa shows up again? What if Torin shows up again?”
Perhaps my father loved Mom so much because his fated mate wasn’t around, but would he leave Mom if Willa reappeared? By loving Dad, Mom took on a high risk of heartbreak daily.
“They won’t,” he said in a low voice, causing me to raise my eyebrows.
His hands clenched into shaky fists, and his blue eyes glowed with an eerie light I didn’t like.
Unclenching his hands, Hayden said, “We’ll have to take off our clothes, or we’ll get sick.”
I blinked repeatedly. He lifted his shirt and removed his sweatpants with impatient, jerky movements. I sat on the ground with my back toward him.
“You can’t be stubborn in a moment like that. I can’t let you get sick. I’ll warm you with my body,” he said.
I scoffed at the idea. “The last time I was in your arms, you exchanged blood with me without my consent and bonded us. How can I trust you again?”
His heavy sigh echoed behind me, and the shuffle of his feet sounded closer. My cold body trembled so much that my teeth chattered.
Hayden let out a low growl, and I turned to look at him. Was this the Hayden that I knew? He’d never growled at me before.
His stern gaze felt cold as it pierced through my soul.
“I won’t let my Queen get sick.”
But I wouldn’t be his Queen if I could regain my wolf spirit. I stopped fidgeting.
“Let me embrace you, Breanna.”
The way he said my name infused a pinch of anxiety in my veins. But what exactly was I afraid of? This man had been in my corner since he returned to the kingdom when I was fifteen.
I looked at Hayden, silently asking him to turn around.
He did but slowly and hesitantly. His hands clenched into fists and unclenched immediately.
His fingers trembled and twitched as if they were eager to rip my clothes off.
Taking a deep breath, I removed the sticky fabric and placed my shirt and yoga pants closer to the fire to dry.
“All done,” I whispered, sitting naked with my back toward Hayden.
He sat behind me and wrapped his arms around my torso, immediately warming me up. Upon his touch, the familiar sparks ignited. Our mate bond was alive and affecting me, regardless of what my heart wanted.
But his embrace also ignited extra adrenaline, fueling my anger as I thought about the last time his hands were around me, lying in bed in my London apartment.
He’d forced a mate bond on me. For a fleeting moment, the thought of asking Hayden to shift into his wolf crossed my mind.
I wondered if my nervousness would lessen if I were near him in his wolf form instead.
“You don’t seem to like to shift.” I swallowed the dryness in my throat.
I had seen Hayden shift into his wolf form when the hunters attacked us years ago, but my bodyguard usually fought our enemies in his human form, which was unusual for a werewolf.
Hayden adjusted his position behind me only to press his body tighter against mine. “I don’t like to be in my wolf form. I’m stronger as I am now.”
I blinked repeatedly, trying to make sense of his words. No werewolf would agree with him unless they wanted to remain in their human form to fight with daggers and swords. My stomach tightened in a dull ache.
Taking deep breaths, eventually my body relaxed enough, and I found myself sinking deeper into Hayden’s sturdy embrace. I must have dozed off, exhausted from training and igniting my dark magic.
The next time I opened my eyes, I lay on the ground, Hayden’s arms forming a protective cocoon around me. My head rested on his solid shoulder, his body shielding me against the chilling night air.
Instinctively, my hand flew to the crook of my neck as a disturbing thought pierced my mind. There were no puncture marks or a raw scar or pain, so I let out a heavy sigh.
“If I mark you, you’ll surely feel it, sweetheart. I didn’t do anything except keep you warm and safe. I’ll only mark you when you agree to it,” he said with so much conviction that I attempted to believe him.
But I couldn’t let Hayden mark me. It was enough that I felt wrong in his arms, as if I were betraying some part of my soul. I was still mad at him for bonding himself to me. Regardless of how much he loved me, it was still not right.
Hayden kissed the top of my head. “Don’t fight the inevitable,” he said in a low, sensual voice that made me shiver.
As if I had hot coals under my feet, I sprang up and found my semi-dry clothes. After dressing, Hayden stomped on the few remaining flames, putting them out.
Venturing through the damp forest, I realized we must have spent only a couple of hours in the cave.
The cool air tickled my skin. I inhaled deeply, a lungful of fresh, clean air and gentle mist still hanging in the air.
The leaves sparkled with moisture as the forest came alive after the storm.
Sunrays filtered through the light blanket of white clouds.
I drew in a calming breath. Remember, the light still emerges after the darkness.
Strolling in silence, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something awaited me on the other side. Although the sounds of the creatures and the steady rhythm of raindrops dripping from leaves and branches created a soothing melody around us, stillness engulfed me.
Overwhelmed by the scent of damp earth and fresh foliage, I thought about Torin. What was he doing now? Was he safe? I shook my head slightly as I trekked toward the forest’s edges.
The royal manor rose on the horizon just as a car squealed to a stop at the front doors. Alexander flew out of the driver’s side, leaving the engine rumbling, and dashed inside without a backward glance.
My breath hitched in my chest. Why would he be here? He had already pledged to act as the Alpha of the Black Lunar pack in Torin’s absence.
My feet moved on their own, taking me to the manor. My heart pounded as I raced through the streets, my breath coming in deep gasps as I ran. Hayden chased after me, asking me to slow down, but I was too panicked to do anything but run.
Alexander wouldn’t be here without a reason. He must be delivering news to the King.
A chilling thought gripped me—something had happened to Torin. The realization clenched tight in my achy chest.
Without saying a word, I bolted up the staircase of the royal manor, Hayden’s footsteps echoing close behind me.