Chapter 9 A Gussied-Up Guest
Toughing Things Out Together
Sprinkling rosemary into the mortar, Fin plucked up the pestle without needing to even glance its way. Driving it down into the stone bowl, he ground vigorously over and over, until his arm throbbed.
He didn’t even notice the pain.
“Fin?”
At last, his attention snapped up to none other than Hannah and Captain Taylor. The pair stood in the doorway to the castle kitchens.
Were it not for the fact that both of their faces had grown lined, and their hair (what remained of it in Captain Taylor’s case) streaked with white, the sight of them felt like no time had passed since Fin had first started as the royal cook.
Fin did his best to push a half smile in their direction as they moved into the dimly lit castle kitchen, both eyeing the worktable where a bowl of fermenting yeast already sat waiting to be turned into dough.
It was nearing the middle of the night, not a usual time for him to be dallying in the kitchen.
“I heard about Annika,” Hannah said softly. She slipped into one of the tall chairs positioned across from where Fin worked.
The captain did the same.
Fin set down the pestle and pressed his palms into the cooking table’s worn surface. “Ah.”
Hannah’s mouth twisted. “I’m sure if she were… If she weren’t alive, you would have heard something more.”
Fin’s mouth lifted grimly. Though he felt his gaze remain gentle, he knew it revealed his weariness. “I know.”
“Her Majesty will take good care of her mother,” Captain Taylor added confidently.
Tapping a finger on the table, Fin’s eyes fell back to the scored work surface. “I know that, too.”
The trio fell into silence as Fin then plucked up the mortar and dumped the ground herbs into a bowl already a quarter of the way filled with flour. He whisked that together, poured in the yeast water, and started kneading the mixture into a heavenly smelling dough.
“I haven’t felt this powerless in a long time,” Fin began.
“Both my children and wife are in danger, and I can’t go help them.
I don’t even know where Tam is… And even if he were to feel true fear, I still wouldn’t know.
When that happens to him, all I see is darkness.
” Fin’s throat tightened painfully. “I’m scared. ”
The humbling admission resulted in both Hannah and the captain sharing an anguished look.
“He’ll be alright. Tam’s smart, and Kraken and Pina should be with everyone by now,” Hannah reasoned. Her confidence seemed forced.
Fin kept working the dough without responding.
When that task was completed, he rinsed his hands in a basin of water on the table, then transferred the dough to an oiled bowl before covering it with a red-and-white tea towel and setting it beside the fire to rise.
Turning back around, he wiped his hands on his beloved old apron, which had an embroidered broom and pan handle crossing on its corner. Fin leaned his back against the side of the fireplace.
“Sir Andrews is heading to Rollom, and Sir Lewis is nearby in Xava. He’s keeping an ear out for new arrivals at the harbor,” Captain Taylor informed Fin in another obvious attempt to provide some measure of comfort.
Fin nodded idly, his mind still drifting to the well-being of his loved ones. “I sometimes wonder if I’m the reason all of this started. If I hadn’t become a diplomat for the coven, would there have been any reason for a power struggle?”
“The first witch and devil have been at odds and causing problems for ages,” Hannah said with a scoff. “And how is everyone else’s greed your fault?”
“Is it greed that is making the entire coven act this way?” Fin asked philosophically. “Because to me, they are trying to do what they think is best for the world. They are trying to think of their purpose as witches.”
“Inciting a war does not seem like a balancing act,” Captain Taylor argued gruffly.
“People have always incited wars,” Fin pointed out. “And, believe me, I don’t think everyone has pure motives behind this particular war. As Kasim Jelani said to me long ago, people don’t start wars because they are strong.”
Hannah looked dubious at this point.
Fin smiled a little. “Greed is a weakness. It means you cannot be satisfied. It’s a sign that a kingdom or group is not sated in some way. Its leaders may be corrupt. There could be a famine. Or oppression… But these explanations mean something is broken.”
No one said anything for a while.
“In that case… I hate how weakness leads to this many people getting hurt,” Hannah grumbled.
Captain Taylor grunted in agreement.
“Me too.” Fin crossed his arms and moved closer to the table again. “When this is all over, how about we invite Sirs Lewis and Andrews back to Austice and we all have a good drinking night?”
The captain and Hannah grinned in response.
“As long as that wife of yours agrees not to challenge anyone to a drinking contest again,” Hannah insisted with a wary tension in her voice.
Fin chuckled. “I can’t make that promise. Maybe I’ll try to get Mackenzie Harris to take on the task.”
“Oh right. Like you need someone setting more fires in your keep.”
Fin squinted at the ceiling and drifted closer to the table. “Lady Mackenzie does have a small problem with arson. But with everyone there, I’m sure we could manage something.”
“I bet you three silver at least one chair will be broken and two fires will be set.” The captain leaned back, folding his beefy arms.
“I’ll take that bet.” Hannah gave a devilish smile. “I’ll bet that this time they’ll manage to cut down the impressive display you have on your entryway ceiling.”
Fin sighed and fixed Hannah with a very flat look. “By the way, Taylor, did I ever get around to telling you who Hannah has been having nightly meetings with?”
Hannah launched herself out of her seat and grabbed Fin by his shirt with both hands, her eyes gleaming. “Did you learn nothing after seeing what I did to your son?”
Fin cleared his throat.
“You didn’t know about Hannah and Mr. Howard?” Captain Taylor asked Fin, sounding genuinely surprised.
Both Hannah and Fin whirled around. “What?” they spluttered in unison.
The captain snorted. “I saw you and Mr. Howard stumbling out of a closet in a state nine years ago.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hannah demanded. She released Fin and collapsed back in her chair.
Taylor shrugged. “It wasn’t my business.”
Hannah thrust a finger in the captain’s direction while staring wildly up at Fin. “When did he become the decent one of the group? You should be ashamed, Ashowan!”
Fin grinned. “Taylor’s twelve children broke him in. Annika made me stop at two. I have too much energy to be passive.”
“Arsehole,” Hannah muttered.
Sighing, Fin tilted his head, still smiling at his friends. “I miss Harris. He always made me seem like the lesser evil.”
The trio descended into their familiar banter and camaraderie, a solace amid the cloud of darkness that hung over the kingdom. While Fin knew his worries would be waiting with gnashing teeth for him come morning, he could at least enjoy a moment of reprieve with old friends.
★ ★ ★
The physician’s dark eyes squinted over tiny spectacles perched precisely halfway down his hooked nose. Eli had heard him make at least three quiet throat clearings. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. His fingers delicately pinched Eli’s wrist as his gaze darted back to Tam.
The nobleman’s smoldering stare had in no way gentled.
The physician stole a glance at Eli. She raised her eyebrows at him. The index finger on her left hand tapped her thigh expectantly.
“If I may…” The physician gave yet another small cough. “Be so bold as to ask… But… Often the mother knows before physicians such as myself whether or not she is expecting again. You have two other children who—”
“Is she or is she not pregnant?” Tam interrupted bluntly.
Eli felt the physician jolt nervously; his fingers trembled against her wrist.
She took a deep breath, and after a silent warning look at Tam, addressed the physician herself.
“We would prefer that you, with your expertise, confirm whether or not I am.”
The physician licked his lips and pointedly avoided Tam’s stare.
The poor man didn’t know that Tam wasn’t angry, just anxious—though if one didn’t know him, that would not be clear.
Really, Eli could tell he was barely containing his restlessness while waiting for the news.
She wasn’t much better, but she was hiding it more adeptly.
“W-well, my lady, your heart is beating quite hard, so I am—”
Tam made a noise that could’ve been heard as growl, but Eli could tell it was really a stifled groan of pain over the suspense.
The physician looked close to tears.
“Tam, if you are going to scare the physician, you can wait outside,” Eli ordered irritably.
“I’ll wait right here,” he responded firmly.
Eli opened her mouth to tell him to stop being a donkey, but she was interrupted by the physician.
“Ah! There!”
“What?” Eli and Tam demanded at the same time.
“Just a moment.” The physician was squinting at the coverlet Eli rested on as he continued holding her wrist.
Eli spared a glance at Tam and barely stopped herself from laughing. Both his hands were gripping his hair as he stared with demented eyes at the physician.
With a sigh, she addressed the man-shaped pile of nerves. “Tam, everything will be fine.”
“I know that! I just want to know what—”
“My lord, please, I’m trying to focus,” the physician blurted, a faint note of desperation in his voice.
Eli watched a slight twitch tweak Tam’s right eye.
Oddly enough, witnessing Tam’s descent into a sub-basement of madness made her feel much better about the whole experience.
“Aah.” The physician leaned back on his stool, his hand falling to his lap.
Both Tam and Eli stared at the man. At the beginning of their meeting, he had looked like he was in his late fifties. At present, he could’ve passed for his eighties thanks to the dense tension in the room.
The man sat in silence.
“Well?” Again, both Eli and Tam said the same thing at the same moment— and with matching snappish tones.
“I’d like to check again—”
“Oh, for the love of—” Tam swung around, stalked over to the bay of windows, and seized the sill, his head dropping.
“Why do you want to check again?” Eli was barely managing her own annoyance.
“Well, I’d hate to get the both of you excited for only for me to be incorr—”
Eli’s head spun. “We should be excited?”
What answer was she going to be excited about, again?
Wait. Did the physician even know the answer to that question?
Eli sensed Tam straighten from his place by the window. He had gone very still.
The physician reached back over and plucked up Eli’s wrist again. She barely felt it as tremors of excitement or panic—she really couldn’t tell which—took over.
“Breathe,” the physician counseled gently.
Eli hadn’t even realized she’d been holding her breath.
And just when she was relatively certain that she might start shaking the man herself, the physician sat back with a sigh and a smile.
“All done. My apologies for the delay. I can tell you are quite nervous about the news—”
“WILL YOU PLEASE JUST TELL US!” For the third time, Tam and Eli spoke in perfect unison.
The physician’s open mouth closed as he gave a sheepish, apologetic upturn of the lips at Eli. He then subtly shifted a little farther away from Tam, who had moved silently closer during his second inspection.
“Congratulations, my lady, you are expecting.”
Eli’s jaw dropped.
A rush of emotion surged through her. Tam turned into a very pale statue.
“It is still early, but given the approximate timing of your last cycle, I would place your delivery around early spring.”
“Pl… Please leave us.” Eli heard the waver in her voice. Luckily, despite the stress she and Tam had just put the man through, the physician rushed out of the cabin without needing much more prompting.
When the door latched closed, Eli sought out Tam’s gaze. The instant their eyes locked, Eli felt the tears come, and she realized she was smiling harder than she ever had in her life. “Holy Gods.”
Tam dove for her, wrapping her in his arms as she continued to shake from the complete shock. She heard him whisper the same words into her hair. “Holy Gods.”
“It doesn’t even feel real!” Eli said. She allowed her cheek to rest on Tam’s warm shoulder, which still smelled of peppermint and frankincense.
“It really doesn’t.”
“I mean…” Eli trailed off as Tam gingerly pulled away from her, though he grasped her hands and seated himself beside the bed. “I barely know you.”
Tam stared blankly at her. “What a time to say that.”
“But… I just met you in early spring of this year! It’s been what… nearly five months since I first met you? It’s too quick—and don’t you dare say anything about your family’s virility again.”
“It is fast for us to have this kind of development. Are you…” A nervous expression came over Tam. “Are you alright with… this?”
Blinking, Eli lowered her eyes and took stock of her emotions.
She had expected to be angry, sad, or nervous about this outcome. Exasperated, even.
But she was dumbstruck to discover she was…
“I’ve never been this happy in my life. I’ve heard some women can go a bit mad when expecting, so maybe that’s why.
But… I guess I’m… excited. Really excited to just—just have a home.
With you. And Luca. And Penelope. And whoever this is.
” She gestured vaguely around her middle.
“Excited to have a life that I made. Before, you talked about your keep in Sorlia. We could read in the library as a family. We could have tea together in the garden, and I would never have to…” More tears were gathering in Eli’s eyes as she spoke, but she swallowed down the brimming emotion to finish her sentiment.
“I will never have to suffer alone. I’ll actually have a family. A good one.”
As she stared into Tam’s face, she could see he was becoming quite emotional himself over her reaction.
And so she did what felt absolutely right in that moment. She cupped Tam’s face in her hands and kissed him. He kissed her back readily. It started to lead to more than just a kiss, but Eli paused. “You’re my family, now, Tam. We’re together in this. For always.”
“Thank Gods for that,” Tam murmured affectionately back.
Still smiling so widely her cheeks ached, Eli couldn’t help but add one final comment before she allowed them to fully enjoy their celebration.
“Maybe in the future, you ask me before you get on any more ships, hm?”