Chapter 11 An Errant Escape
Learning About Loss
Tam leaned against the ship railing in the cool night. He listened with a fond half smile as his son and Penelope giggled and shrieked while playing on the swing the sailors had carefully constructed for them.
Much to Luca’s immense delight, the men had even performed a mock scrimmage.
Belatedly, Tam thought it maybe wasn’t helpful to his goal of persuading Luca away from viewing violence as a good thing.
With nothing that could be done retroactively, however, and the knowledge that Luca was having a marvelous time for his very first birthday party, Tam decided not to worry too much.
Instead he glanced over and down at Eli. She stood at his side, wearing loose, belted tan pants, a billowing pale-blue silk shirt tucked into them, and a thicker long white coat.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
“Are you still in shock?” he asked quietly.
Eli didn’t look back at him. Her brows were riddled in a pensive frown as she stared across the deck at the Lobahlans, who were chatting with Captain Sun.
“I want to know about that Chronos thing,” Eli returned seriously. “I know you stowed the first witch away in your void, but that isn’t going to be a permanent solution. She might already be out.” Eli gripped her coat sleeves, her tone irritated and stiff.
Tam tilted his head. “Well, we still have the whistle. And Wixim said even he wasn’t sure what the Chronos predecessor could do. My bet is that if it were truly useful, Aradia would have kept it.”
“I’m going to make the Lobahlans tell us what it is.
Harris’s sword that turns you twenty years younger when you hold it was something their people crafted.
The Lobahlans clearly have some understanding of imbuing weapons with magical power that no one else does,” Eli reminded him, her attention never shifting away from the Lobahlans.
“How would you like to pry the information out of them?” Tam asked, only a little concerned at what her answer may be.
At last, Eli leaned back to look at him. “I have more information on the kingdoms than quite literally anyone else. I can get two young, sheltered Lobahlans to spare me a few details.”
Two shrieks of excitement from the children had Eli and Tam leaning forward to make sure all was well. That confirmed, the couple resumed their conversation.
“As impressive as you are,” Tam ventured carefully, “a lot of that is because you were able to work alongside the monarchy and nobility for long periods of time.”
Eli straightened. “Are you saying you don’t think I can find out what I want to know?”
Tam rubbed the back of his neck before answering. “I didn’t say that. What I mean is that there may have to be some strategizing in how we approach them.”
Eli rounded on him. Tam could tell things were about to get heated.
“I wasn’t just going to charge up and ask them what was going on,” Eli declared sternly.
“Didn’t say you were.”
“What did you think I was going to do?”
Tam dropped his hand from his neck. “Try and befriend them, and then gently broach the subject?”
“I’m not the friendly type,” Eli said dismissively.
“Okay…” Tam trailed off uncertainly. “So you are planning on… ?”
“I’ll make them think I’m afraid of what the device can do. I’ll work myself up and catch Hamil off guard. If I can make myself cry, he’ll probably tell me something about it.”
Tam paused thoughtfully. That was a pretty good approach. Hamil did seem prone to blathering, but… he wasn’t the one who had revealed the intricacies of their government.
“Do it with Bes. Not Hamil,” he advised. “And whatever she says, I’ll go to Hamil afterward and act angry. I’ll say Bes said something to upset you about the device and pressure him to clarify.”
Eli’s earlier disgruntlement eased as she leaned forward conspiratorially. “Alright. I was planning on approaching them tonight.”
Tam shook his head. “They will be on guard. Do it tomorrow to make it look natural.”
Eli considered this. “I suppose.”
Tam reclaimed his smile as he reached out and clasped her upper arms. “Besides. We need to keep enjoying Luca’s birthday party.”
Smiling back, albeit a little more wearily than Tam, Eli nodded.
“So are you going to answer my earlier question?” Tam asked. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her back to his chest so that they could both face outward to watch Luca push Penelope on the swing.
He expected Eli to not remember what he was referring to, but she surprised him. “Yes. I am still shocked. I don’t feel pregnant, so it’s hard to think that I am.”
“Hmm.” Tam pondered her response. “I imagine if my mother heard you say that, she might feel a bit envious. She said her symptoms came on quickly.”
“What about your sister?”
“Kat isn’t someone I’d categorize as ‘normal’ when it comes to health,” Tam replied evenly.
Eli sighed. “I still think the doctor might be wrong.”
“Weren’t you saying earlier that you were craving jam and toast, and were feeling unreasonably angry with me?”
“You were just being infuriating. There doesn’t have to be another reason. And jam and toast is tasty. People crave things without needing a reason to.”
“My da always said that cravings were indicative of a person’s health.”
Eli made a noncommittal noise in response.
“Shall we go see if Luca and Penelope have burned through enough energy to be able to sleep?”
Eli snorted. “They could probably stay awake until dawn at this rate.”
Tam chortled along with her. “I guess it’s going to be a late night. When do you want to tell them about the baby, by the way?”
“When I’m absolutely certain I’m pregnant,” Eli responded swiftly.
Tam laughed. “When will that be, do you think? When you’re in labor?”
Gently smacking his arm, Eli didn’t bother answering his jibe.
Instead they continued to listen to the creaking wood of the deck, the children’s laughter, and the soft rush of water as their ship parted the inky waves under the starry sky.
That moment of calm and happiness concluded a day they would never forget.
★ ★ ★
Sitting on a stump he had fashioned into a chair of sorts atop a grassy hill, the devil looked over the scene peacefully.
The lush hills were blessed with adequate rains and days of sun.
A breeze cast rippling waves through the grass that the sheep had not yet grazed upon.
Small, fluffy white clouds drifted lazily across a pale-blue sky.
The smell of sweet grass and the occasional cloud of hay dust found its way to where he sat observing the slow moment of the day.
Neighboring farmers strolled along their fields.
Two red barns could be seen in the distance near whitewashed cottages.
Only one house rose to two stories: a wooden farmhouse with a deep green roof, white walls, and finely paned glass windows.
It stood out among the other humble homes.
The devil tilted his head, staring at it, then lazily allowed his attention to drift over to his own home.
It was whitewashed like many of the others, though a loft had been stacked on half of it.
He smiled.
They had just finished rethatching the roof two weeks ago, and the garden was already filled with bright-green shoots.
“There you are!”
Blinking himself free from his moment of appreciation, the devil turned around to stare up at the woman with long sandy-brown hair, dark, vibrant green eyes, and a smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose.
His smile broadened, and he held out his hand.
She stared at it, still catching her breath from the climb up the hill, then took it and allowed him to pull her to sit on his lap.
“Jordy is here to see you,” she announced. While her voice was quiet, the devil could feel the stiffness in her body.
Taking in a long inhale, the devil made no move to stand, and settled farther back into his chair. “I told Jordy I wasn’t going to do any kind of work or deal like I did in the past. I promised you.”
She didn’t relax. “You could at least hear what he has to say.”
“Mare,” he started, but then he trailed off and dropped his forehead against her back. His fingers found their way around her hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll go talk to him. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m not worried!”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not! I’m just…”
The devil lifted his head, pausing. “Disgruntled,” he finished for her without masking his surprise and concern. “Why?”
“Because it isn’t so bad if you still do a little bit of your old work! Not all of your deals had to do with murder, coups, or mass thefts—”
“Mare, it’s a slippery slope. Besides, if I don’t make any deals, my sister won’t find us. It’s easy for her to track me down when I’m involved in that kind of work,” he argued while leaning to the side to better see her face.
“Didn’t you say she’s probably off in Troivack right now? Why can’t you—”
The devil released Mare’s hand. “What is going on?”
She stood back up and turned to face him, wrapping her arms around herself.
He rose to his feet as well. “Is it about money? We have more than enough sheep to earn all the coin we need to last through the winter, and the neighbors are all very kind and helpful. Even if we—”
“This isn’t what I wanted.”
The devil felt his heart drop as realization plunged him into its horrible coldness. How had he missed it before? How had he not noticed?
“We met because of your deals. We… We got to meet different kinds of people, saw new places, and drank good wine. The only people I talk to now are the elderly neighbors, and I spend most of my day doing chores. I’m bored—and you aren’t facing your sister!
You’re hiding. And you’re using me as an excuse.
” She flung out her arm over the landscape that only moments before, the devil had thought was even more beautiful than the Forest of the Afterlife.
“Would you prefer I become a merchant?” he asked softly, already sensing where this was going. He had thought she was different than the others.
“Maybe? I don’t know…” She turned away, looking over the fields instead of at him. “You’re the son of the Gods, and yet you feel like a normal man.”
“So you wanted to marry me because I’m powerful?” The question didn’t even bear the sharpness of accusation. It was more bored, albeit streaked with pain.
She rounded on him angrily. “No! It’s just… I loved all of you. Including the part of you that made you different from other men.”
He stared down at her. His heart twisted in his chest.
It had been a long time since he had felt this kind of hurt. At least thirty years. It was the pain of losing the happiness and eternal love he had been ready to carry for her.
“I see. Loved. As in, you don’t still love me. You’ve already moved on.” His eyes drifted over her head after he made his observation.
Maybe he’d try traveling to Troivack after this ended. Who knew? Maybe his vengeful sister had finally worked out a way to end his life, and he could stop enduring these horrible moments.
Mare was already taking a step away from him. Apparently, the conclusion of a marriage of seven years wasn’t worth more words to her.
“Can I ask you something?” the devil called suddenly.
Amazingly, Mare turned back around.
“When was it that it stopped?”
“What?”
“Your love for me. When did you start not to love me?”
Mare briefly gripped the plain beige skirt she wore, then released it. Her face scrunched up in thought. There was a detachment in her eyes devoid of the spark and warmth that had made the devil love her. It was disturbing to see how different it made her.
He supposed that’s what he got for swearing off prodding at her emotions deeper than surface level.
“I don’t know. I think my love got mixed up in the admiration and thrill of it all.
Your own parents—the human ones that raised you—even they treat you with reverence.
You walked into a room and could command it.
You and I were able to do things that no one could dream of doing.
I loved that you were gentle with me, though.
I loved that you found normal life with me so extraordinary.
But I guess I just loved that you were the extraordinary.
It’s the normal I don’t like. So the more normal life became, the less I loved you. ”
Ah.
He’d been on a pedestal.
Wanting the untouchable isn’t as appealing when you’ve touched and had it.
How… simple.
The devil wondered if Mare realized how normal she was for that.
“I see. Well. I suppose I will leave you to file the paperwork for our divorce with the magistrate.” He turned, his hands finding their way into his pockets as he stepped down the hill.
Though his legs shook, he did his best to ignore it.
Yet even the effort of ignoring his physical state and acknowledging the pain he felt in his heart made his body feel heavy and weary.
“Did you even love me? You seem perfectly fine.” Mare sounded utterly detached.
The devil was moderately aware of the fact that tears filled his eyes. But he didn’t bother feeling self-conscious about it as he looked back and smiled at his wife.
“I love you, and have loved you without being able to stop since the day you walked in and told me you needed to make a deal. You just aren’t the first human to disappoint me.
Though you were the first that I put all my trust in.
But that’s my fault. I really should have known better than to start changing my opinion. ”
And with that, he made his way down the hill. The beautiful scene from before remained the same, only now it had become forever tied with one of his worst days on earth.
★ ★ ★
Tam’s eyes flew open. His heart ached, and tears rolled down his face.
But… there was a warm hand on his forearm. He looked down at the hand, then up into Eli’s concerned face.
“Bad dream?” she asked softly.
He rubbed his face. “Yeah.”
It took a moment, but eventually Tam realized Eli did not seem in any way sleepy. When he finally looked at her again, he frowned. “Did I wake you?”
“No, no, I just… I can’t sleep.”
“Why is that?” Tam drew himself up onto his elbows worriedly.
Eli fidgeted. “Well, it’s just… I… Tam, what if…”
“What? What is it?” He leaned forward, and laid his hand over her own that still rested on him.
“What if the baby has a tail?”
Tam balked. “Pardon?”
“Or fur! What if it’s covered in fur? Or has whiskers? Oh Gods… I wish I could ask Wixim about this.”
Tam barely stifled the laugh.
Eli still heard it, and next thing he knew, his heart-wrenching dream was pushed to the back of his mind, as he instead found himself in a detailed discussion about whether or not his future child would be born a beast-human hybrid.