Chapter 51 An Improvised Imparting
A Divine Debate
Tam watched Aradia as she sobbed in the arms of the Goddess.
The way her face moved… the helplessness, the devastation… It was almost like she were a completely different person. It was as though before she had been muted, and now she had returned to herself.
At the Goddess’s side, the Green Man laid a hand on his daughter’s forehead, his soulful eyes filled with pain and love for her. Then, after a few moments, the Green Man gently gathered his daughter in his arms and escorted her away.
Once the pair had disappeared through the thick, lush foliage, the Goddess’s multicolored eyes turned to Tam, Kasha, and Kraken. Her hand rested on her pregnant middle as she smiled and beckoned them closer.
Tam felt as though he were floating, unable to look away from the Goddess. Warmth and peace filled him, and he suddenly felt perfectly content… He wondered if Kasha and Kraken felt the same way.
They stopped a short way from the Goddess, and she lowered herself gracefully onto a throne made of branches and twigs, with leaves and flowers sprouting down its legs.
Kraken sauntered over and leapt up to rest on her lap.
“Hello, Kraken,” she said with a smile that seemed to make the entire world hum in pleasure. The Goddess reached up and gently scratched Kraken’s cheek.
Tam’s former daze of peace cleared in an instant as he stared at Kraken flatly.
It would seem his father’s familiar had decided he was finished being of help.
“Goddess,” Tam began, though speaking felt strange, as if his own words were foreign to himself. “I would like to return to life. As myself. In my body.”
The Goddess’s eyes twinkled knowingly. But she said nothing as her sights moved to Kasha, who moved closer with her head bowed.
“You may speak; I have granted you the ability while here,” the Goddess informed her kindly.
Tam looked at Kasha with a reassuring smile.
“Thank you.” The voice that came from Kasha was lower than Eli’s. It sounded a little more mature, a little more feline somehow. “I’m sure you are already aware of the fact that Tam has taken over your son’s fate.”
The Goddess merely bowed her head in acknowledgment.
“But the devil deserves one happy life. He hasn’t had one in the entirety of his existence, and he needs Tam to have that happy life.”
“You believe you know all there is to know about my son’s existence?” the Goddess asked patiently.
Tam hesitated, but Kasha was quick. “His existence has never been blended with a human child before. It is not right to make what would have been an unaffected life suffer.”
The Goddess considered this. “Tamlin, you have made the choice to die in order to help bring my daughter home and protect your son. If you are brought back to life, not only will the balance of life and death be broken, but the question of whether or not Aradia should remain here presents itself.”
“Not if his death is treated as the death of the devil’s fate,” Kasha argued while bringing herself to a seated position.
The Goddess leaned forward, like a mother listening to her child talking about their adventurous day; her smile was engaged and curious. “Oh?”
“He is not going to live with the same purpose or with his memories, if we are guessing correctly.” At this, Kasha eyed the Goddess, waiting for confirmation.
She did not comment.
“His fate was to help humans be at one with their emotions,” Tam interjected carefully.
“No one should be privy to every emotion of another. Not all emotions stem from truth. To place that burden on a child without any parental figures to understand what was going on would create a cycle of trauma. You know this, Goddess. You’ve seen it.
” He tried to keep the traces of anger on Luca’s behalf from his voice, but he wasn’t entirely successful.
“The hurt others give is a reflection of the hurt they’ve received. ”
The Goddess’s smile faded as she listened somberly.
“Please… let Luca have a happy life with his father.” Kasha bowed her head.
“You don’t think a child can be happy after the loss of a parent?” the Goddess asked quietly.
There was a pang of sorrow that echoed in Tam’s heart, though he wasn’t entirely certain where it stemmed from.
“I think that a child who has endured what Luca has deserves the best, happiest life. Not one spent remembering a father who died to save him. This is only going to perpetuate the cycle all over again. He needs better,” Kasha argued.
The Goddess rested a hand on her belly. “If I were to return Tamlin, what would be offered in exchange for the balance?”
“Are all the deaths that the devil and the first witch have been responsible for not enough? Aradia even manufactured Witch’s Brew, a drug that tampered with the exchange of life and death when she distributed it to humans and then brought ancient beasts over from the Forest of the Afterlife,” Kasha reminded her sharply.
The Goddess shook her head sadly. “Those poor souls who took the drug chose to indulge in the vice. That was their decision.”
“My magic.”
Kasha’s head whipped around, and Kraken’s eyes slowly opened once more.
Tam held the Goddess’s stare. “I’ve been told I have incredible magic. The kind that many envy. I’d even say the kind that some people would kill for. Would this be acceptable as payment?”
The Goddess did not respond straightaway as she stared at him thoughtfully.
“It does not change the number of lives present. Your grandmother, Katelyn Ashowan, not only exhausted her magic healing your father, but also gave her life. Even then, his return was only made possible because we knew you would help a being dear to myself and the Green Man.”
It was Tam’s turn to go quiet.
“If I may,” Kraken said with a yawn. He jumped down from the Goddess’s lap and took a languid stretch before sitting beside Kasha.
“In my estimation, Tam here has helped not only your son, but also your daughter. To help the children of the Gods has been something no other mortal has done. Does that feat not warrant some leniency?”
The Goddess’s eyes drifted to the trees in consideration. “It is still a life we need.”
Tam felt his stomach clench.
Was this really it? Had he and Eli crafted their arguments, and tried to find a way for his death not to be permanent… for nothing?
“Pardon me.”
Tam, Kasha, and Kraken looked over their shoulder to see none other than Death.
Only he wasn’t standing alone. On his left was a Troivackian woman a few years older than Tam, and a young man it took a moment for him to remember.
“Thomas… Julian? Penelope called you Uncle Thomas,” Tam said with his hesitancy coming through his tone. How was Thomas Julian there?
The young man bowed his head in acknowledgment, before Tam turned his confused stare to the woman. She had long chocolate-toned hair and warm brown eyes… eyes that resembled both his own mother’s as well as—
“Penelope.” Tam turned, his hand gesturing at the woman. “You look like Penelope, but you don’t have the mark below your eye, so you can’t be her.”
The woman seemed to be studying him in turn. While her eyes were the same color and shape as Penelope’s, a storm of emotion roiled behind hers. Grief, anger, suffering, and relief all brewed together.
“I am Caroline Levin. Formerly Caroline Piereva. I am… I am Penelope’s mother. Your cousin,” she informed Tam tightly while adjusting her dull-rose skirts.
“Wait, are you… Are you still alive? Or have you been here for a while? Or—”
“I died two days ago,” she interrupted.
Tam recoiled “Oh, I’m so sorry. Penelope, she… she was devastated when we found her. We thought you had died a while ago. She was certain of it,” he explained, his heart twisting in his chest as he thought about Penelope having to hear with complete certainty that her mother had passed.
Kasha had rounded to face the newcomers as well. To Caroline, she added, “She loves you a lot. She’s such a smart girl, and she intimidates even adult nobility into obeying.”
At this, Caroline’s lips twitched. “Of course. She is a strong Troivackian girl. She is of noble blood, and I raised her to be well aware of it.”
Tam gave a tight-lipped smile, but he nodded. “She is definitely strong.”
“Why is it you have brought these souls, old friend,” the Goddess called out to Death, her voice gentle.
Death removed his flattop hat, then with a smile at Thomas Julian and a kind wink at Caroline Levin, he gestured the two forward.
Thomas Julian moved to kneel, but the Goddess waved her hand, making him go still.
“You have bent yourself your entire life. Do not kneel.”
The young man froze, caught in confusion as to what to do.
Evidently sensing that he may need some time—or she was simply impatient— Caroline Levin stepped forth.
“I want Elisara and Tamlin Ashowan to raise my child. She has been through enough, and I know it is because of my own choices that her father and I made…” Caroline trailed off, her voice croaking a little, prompting her to clear it.
“However, she shouldn’t be the one to pay for our crimes.
I do not… I still do not like the duchess.
But Tamlin Ashowan and Elisara, they… I think they are the only ones who can properly raise her, and she deserves to be properly raised. ”
The Goddess gazed in complete understanding at Caroline, and the woman’s eyes flooded with tears in an instant.
“Thank you for advocating for your daughter, Caroline. I know that was not easy,” the Goddess soothed while rising from her seat and pulling Caroline into a hug. “You are a good mother who put her own troubles aside for the well-being of your child. You should be very proud of yourself.”
Caroline sobbed into the Goddess’s shoulder. The Goddess leaned back and cupped her face in her hands. “You’ve been angry for a long, long time, Caroline. It is alright to put it down now. You have not failed anyone, you have not been tricked, you are safe.”
Caroline could not speak, but she did nod, and through her tears choked out, “I’m so… tired.”