Chapter 53
Healing With Hope
Thomas Julian’s funeral was small.
This was at the request of his family, though word of his good deeds had already spread throughout Daxaria. He was the young man who had gone undercover to help rid the world of the devil and first witch. He was being hailed as a brave hero. The guardian of the land.
Tam watched Likon stand with his sister’s family. Thomas’s mother was barely on her feet as she wept over her son’s grave, which was beside Katelyn Ashowan’s own. The tall, carved stone stood beside Fin’s mother. Dignified. Solemn.
Thomas’s father, a knight, gripped his wife’s shoulders, his own tears running endlessly down his face as he stared at his eldest child’s resting place.
His other children were off to the side, all crying and holding one another.
They all were trying to brace the storm of loss, together on the cold cliffside.
The Alcide Sea churned far below on the cloudy, chilly day.
Annika and Fin stood a short way from Likon, who remained apart from his sister’s family.
Kat and Eric, in their full regalia, were another row back.
Tam, Eli, and the children huddled together behind them. Beyond that, there were a handful of knights and a dozen distant family members of the Julians, but that was all.
Even though Eli still had to be transported in her wheelchair, she held Penelope in her lap as the little girl cried silently.
The former king, Norman Reyes, spoke on Thomas Julian’s behalf.
He spoke of how he had first met and hired him to be Eric’s assistant eight years before.
How, back then, at fifteen, Thomas had been bright, thoughtful, and devoted to his family.
Then he described his misfortune, becoming tangled in the higher powers.
How he had been braver than many knights, and his sacrifice to save Tam had been a selfless, kind act.
How the world would know his name for years to come.
Tam knew that, to Thomas Julian’s family, the accolades meant little compared to the pain of losing him.
It didn’t matter that Thomas Julian had been right that if he hadn’t died, he would’ve been prosecuted. His sacrifice cleared his name and elevated his family’s honor. Beyond that, it removed any doubt about his love and care for them.
Tam would spend the rest of his life ensuring that the Julian family wanted for nothing. That guilt was yet another burden he would carry until the end of his days.
Eli reached out and grasped his hand, drawing Tam’s attention down to her. She gazed up at him knowingly and gave his hand another squeeze.
He did his best to manage a tight smile, then returned his attention to the Julian family. They were, at present, hugging one another before approaching the gravestone and resting flowers at its base.
“Mom?” Penelope’s quiet voice called out, once again making Tam tear his sights away from the scene before him.
Eli blinked down in surprise, a blush resting on her cheeks. “Yes?”
“I… I have something I need to tell Likon.”
Visibly dazed at having been called “Mom” for the first time by Penelope, Eli cleared her throat and then busied her hands tucking the loose strands of Penelope’s hair behind her ears. “Alright. Did you want to wait until the reception? Or should we go over now?”
Tam rested his hands on the wheelchair handles.
He had only just been permitted to start pushing the wheelchair.
According to the physician, Tam had re-broken one of the ribs he had fractured on the ship back in Zinfera, as well as fractured five new ones.
He’d been on bed rest beside Eli for a long time.
“I want to go now,” Penelope whispered. “And I want to go home after.” She dropped her head against Eli’s shoulder.
Tam’s heart swelled.
Ever since Eli had woken following her own injuries, Penelope had been incredibly attached and affectionate toward her. As she increasingly relied on Tam and Eli, she seemed more like a regular child.
“We can do that. We’ll go home afterward and have lunch there. Tam? Mind taking us over to them?” Eli added, leaning her head back to peer up at him while gently resting a hand on the side of Penelope’s hair.
Tam nodded with a close-lipped smile. Penelope wasn’t the only one who had become more affectionate. Eli had started doting more on the kids, though it was mainly through her actions. It made for a funny comparison with her stiff manner of speaking.
When he’d wheeled Eli over to where Dena Julian stood, her arms around two of her other children, a young man and a daughter, she looked up. Her bleary gaze didn’t seem to really see them.
Slowly, Penelope pushed herself off Eli’s lap, and on legs that visibly trembled, she approached the woman.
“Uncle Thomas… Thomas,” she began, her voice quiet. “He helped take care of me when I lived in Troivack. I… I knew him f-for my whole life. He always talked about you.”
Dena Julian’s eyes homed in on Penelope, the mists in them clearing as they widened.
“He described everyone. And he would… He would tell me stories.” Tears audibly choked Penelope, prompting Eli to reach out and give her arm a gentle touch. “I heard about his father, who was a b-brave, strong knight. And… And his amazing mother. He missed you all a lot.”
Dena’s husband drifted over to his wife’s side as he, too, listened to Penelope’s every word. It was as though with every sentence she spoke, she was bringing specks of light to them in complete darkness.
“The last time that we… that Thomas and I talked, he asked me to say this to the duchess or my dad, but he wanted that because he wanted them to tell you the message.” Penelope finished before wiping at her face.
Tam felt his back straighten. He hadn’t known anything about this. He pulled out a black silk handkerchief and leaned over to hand it to Penelope. Her small hands reached up and gently took it from him from over her shoulder. After hastily blowing her nose, she continued.
“He said, ‘It’s all for my family. I wanted to make everyone pr-proud. I wanted to-to show my father, and other men like me, that I didn’t need to be a knight, or good at fighting… to save the world.’” Penelope’s words were hard to discern by the end as she crumbled before her friend’s family.
Thomas’s father choked. His large hand came up to cover his mouth as his knees bent and took him to the ground. “That idiot,” he managed. “I always knew that. I always knew he was just as brave. Just as strong. I never told him otherwise.”
Penelope took a single step forward. “He said you were the best knight and he… he always wanted to be just like you. And that his mother… He wanted her to… to not feel bad, because he was stronger than she knew.”
Tam couldn’t stand it any longer. He rounded Eli’s wheelchair and crouched beside Penelope, pressing a reassuring hand to her back.
“Thank you.” The weak words came from Dena as she lay a hand on her husband’s shaking shoulder. She offered Penelope the barest of smiles. “I… We… I am glad he missed and loved us. And I am glad he had a friend like you when he couldn’t be with us.”
That was all Penelope could take. She lowered her chin, turned to Tam, and buried her face in his shoulder as she cried. Hugging her, Tam rose to his feet and bowed to the family.
“I owe your son everything. Thank you for raising one of the best men I’ve ever met.”
Nothing else could be said. Nothing else needed to be said.
The family knew how Tam felt. They had spoken at great length before that day.
Right then, they needed to be alone with one another.
So without another word, Tam nodded to his sister.
Kat nodded back and stepped over to help with Eli’s wheelchair as Tam carried Penelope to where Luca and the three princes stood.
Luca instantly took Tam’s free hand. With the Ashowans gradually gathering together once more, they all turned and headed back to the carriages that sat waiting for them.
The world was going to become a more peaceful place going forward, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a price. And so they left behind the poor souls who were the ones to pay it.
★ ★ ★
Tam rubbed his neck wearily as he walked the castle hall. He couldn’t stop the yawn that claimed him, nor did he see a point.
It was dark outside, and he was on his way to check that Luca and the princes were ready for bed. Penelope was going to stay in the same bed as Eli for the night. Tam was relegated to another spare room that evening, and said room was conveniently near the boys’ bedroom.
He glanced outside the castle arches overlooking the courtyard as a cold wind whisked through, biting at his ears. The faint aroma of smoke rose from the many fires that burned in the castle, all of them working valiantly against the late-fall cold. Tam was grateful for his winter cloak.
In a matter of a fortnight, they could even see the first snow of the season…
The rise of voices from one of the nearby chambers pulled Tam’s attention back to the task at hand.
He was already preparing the gentle reprimand about how the boys should have already been asleep as he nodded at the guards and fitted his thumb over the latch. However, just as he pushed the door open a crack, he stopped himself as the words spoken registered.
“Feelings don’t have to make sense,” Luca said.
Tam couldn’t see anything in the room, but he heard Antony’s reply. “But I know Charlie didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t mean to be angry at him!”
Tam felt his heart sink a little.
The negotiations with the covens, council, and Zinferan representatives had recently broached the topic of there being a wider distribution of power within a government.
The question of whether or not Antony would have a leading role in it—and if so, in what capacity—had continued to be a point of discussion.
Though from the sounds of things, Charlie was most likely to be named the heir to the Daxarian throne.