Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Kelechi
I stared at the text until my eyes burned, reading it over and over like the words might rearrange themselves into something that made sense. Something that didn’t feel like a punch to the gut.
Something came up, I can't make it tonight. We'll reschedule.
I fell back onto my bed, the springs creaking in protest. My phone landed beside me, the screen still glowing with her message, and for a second, I genuinely considered throwing it across the room.
This was the fourth time she had bailed on me in two weeks, was she avoiding me?
The question had been gnawing at me ever since the second cancellation. Was it because I had fled from the library that night? God, what must she think of me?
But it was her fault. Why did she have to peer into my eyes while asking me those questions? How exactly was I supposed to look at her and calmly discuss what turned me on, for goodness’s sake?
I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes, trying to stop the spiral of thoughts crashing through my head.
I mean, how was I meant to explain that in my twenty-four years on earth, I had never been turned on by anything?
And when she had asked about attraction, it was her face that had flashed through my mind, which made absolutely no sense because what I felt for her was admiration. Just admiration.
Had I been harsh? Maybe grabbing my things and leaving had hurt her feelings, or did she think I was some uptight prude who couldn’t handle talking about intimate things?
Well, she wasn’t entirely wrong. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t explain the way my stomach dropped when she’d looked at me and said those things.
I rolled onto my side and stared at the cracked paint on my dorm wall. Our programme barely had regular classes, mostly research, which meant there was no forced proximity or accidental run-ins.
If Marley decided to avoid me, she could do it without any hassle.
And apparently, that’s exactly what she was doing.
Enough. I had other responsibilities. Other things to focus on besides whatever emotional circus Marley had turned my life into.
I sat up and yanked my laptop open with more force than necessary. Fine. If she wanted to be casual and professional, I could do casual and professional... I would do the research myself, compile it, and send her a perfectly academic email with everything sorted.
Show her that I didn’t need her input to be successful. Show her that I didn’t need her, period.
But as I stared at the blank document, the cursor blinking mockingly at me, my mind drifted straight back to that stupid message.
Something came up.
What did that even mean?
Was she on a date? With a confident woman who didn’t panic during conversations? Was it with someone who laughed at her jokes and didn’t shy away when she got too close?
My chest tightened. Why did I even care?
Jesus.
She was a woman. And for one, I wasn’t a lesbian.
I forced myself to type out the interview questions, but every few minutes, my gaze drifted back to that text message, and I felt the same hollow ache settle deeper in my stomach.
Something more important than our project. More important than me.
I slammed the laptop shut, reached for my phone, and typed.
Okay.
I dropped the phone beside me and stared at the ceiling, willing sleep to come. It was six p.m. on a Saturday, and boring as hell. So many students had left the dorms except for a few of us who probably had nowhere to go.
I didn’t know how long I had stayed like that when my phone buzzed. I frowned and picked it up.
Just okay? Are you mad at me or something?
Really, did she just ask this very obvious question?
My thumbs flew over the keyboard.
Yes, I'm angry that you bailed on me four times in two weeks and it hurts because I don't know if you are avoiding me or if I'm just overthinking everything and...
I stopped myself and put my phone down. Gosh, I was pissed. I needed to delete that text and start over. I sounded so embarrassingly vulnerable.
I picked my phone back up only to find out that it had already been sent.
No, no, no, oh my goodness, no way!
I quickly hit unsend. I hope she didn’t see it. Nooo! Oh my God.
I dropped my phone and crawled under my covers, feeling like an absolute mess. At this point, I needed to avoid her until I put my emotions in check and stopped spiralling like someone who lacked home training.
I still picked up my phone to check, but there was no response from her. This could only mean one thing.
I sighed in relief…. Thank you, Jesus, for coming through for me.
I smiled into my pillow, basking in the joy of the moment, when the shrill sound of my ringtone yanked me upright.
Huh, weird. Who was calling?
I picked my phone up, and as I stared at the screen, my heart somersaulted.
Marley.
Why was she calling me?
With trembling fingers, I swiped to answer.
“Hello?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t see your text?” Her voice was amused, laced with that familiar hint of mischief that made my whole chest cave in.
There was a catch. “I… what text?”
“The one where you went off about me bailing on you? The one you tried to unsend five seconds later?”
I wanted to die. Actually, die right there on my bed. Maybe spontaneous combustion was a real thing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Kelechi.”
“Fine! Yes, okay, I sent it. But I unsent it immediately!”
She laughed, and somehow her laughter still made warmth spread through me despite the mortification.
“You know that little ‘unsent a message’ notification still shows up, right? And I saw the preview before you deleted it.”
“O chim.” I covered my face. “I’m so embarrassed, I’m never using my phone again.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. It was actually kind of cute.”
“Cute?” My voice came out like I’d inhaled helium. “There’s nothing cute about me having a meltdown over text!”
“I disagree. So, what are you up to right now?”
I blinked at the sudden change of topic, my brain struggling to keep up.
“Nothing, just… relaxing and re-evaluating my life. I’m also considering joining a convent.”
“Perfect.” She paused. “I’m outside your dorm.”
I shot up so fast I nearly fell off the bed.
“You’re WHAT?”
“Outside. In the parking lot. You might want to come down.”
“How did you… When did you… How are you here already? Did you teleport?”
“I was already on campus to drop something off when I got your adorable little rant. Figured I should come explain myself in person before you joined that convent.”
I scrambled off my bed, looking around my room frantically for answers.
“I… uh… give me a second. I need to… I look terrible right now!”
“Take your time. I’ll wait.”
The line went dead, and I stared at my phone in disbelief. Marley was here, outside. Like right now.
I couldn’t go down to meet her in my pyjama shorts and a ratty, oversized T-shirt with a hole near the armpit, so I threw on a jacket over my disaster of an outfit, not even caring that I looked like I’d been wallowing in bed all evening, which I had.
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it, then gave up halfway and headed for the door.
The elevator ride dragged on, and by the time I stepped outside into the crisp evening air, my heart was beating hard enough to qualify as a medical emergency.
And then I saw her leaning against her car under the parking lot lights, and my mouth went completely dry.
She was wearing a dark grey sweater and black cargo trousers. Her hair was slightly messy, and I could bet she’d been running her fingers through it. When she spotted me, that devastating smile spread across her face.
Good Lord… how was it legal for someone to look that good in just casual clothes?
“There she is,” she said, pushing off from the car. “The girl who sends angry texts and then pretends they never happened.”
“I wasn’t pretending,” I mumbled, walking towards her on legs that felt like jelly. “I was hoping the universe would delete all evidence.”
She laughed, the sound rich and warm in the cold air.
“Come on, let’s go inside. It’s cold out here, and you’re barely dressed.”
“Inside?” I squeaked.
“Your dorm room, unless you want to talk about your feelings out here where everyone can hear.”
The thought of Marley in my room made my stomach do acrobatic moves that would impress Olympic gymnasts, but I nodded anyway.
“Okay. Yes. Come up, but I should warn you, my room is… uh… It’s very small. And I wasn’t expecting company, so I may have stress-eaten crackers in bed earlier.”
“I’ll survive,” she said, following me back inside.
The elevator ride back up was its own form of torture, testing my ability to act normal while trapped in a small space with someone who made my brain short-circuit.
I fumbled with my key card, acutely aware of her standing behind me, probably watching my hands tremble.
Finally, the door opened, and I stepped aside to let her in.
She walked past me, and I caught a whiff of her scent.
“Nice room,” she said, looking around at my neat desk, the books stacked carefully on my shelves, the single photo of my family on my nightstand. “Very organised, very you.”
“Very me?”
“Thoughtful, put-together. A little bit guarded.” She turned to face me, and the room felt much smaller with her in it. The tension bristled. “I like it.”
I felt heat rise in my cheeks. “Thanks. Sorry about the… everything.”
“It’s fine. So,” she said, dropping into my desk chair effortlessly, “about this week and last. I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“You weren’t?”
“No, I actually had stuff come up. My advisor needed help, then a friend dragged me into something. Bad timing, that’s all.” She paused. “But I should’ve explained better.”
Relief hit me so hard I almost swayed.
“Oh.” I winced. “I’m sorry for the meltdown text. That was… dramatic, possibly criminal.”
“It was honest,” she corrected, and something in her tone made me look up. “I like honesty, even when it’s unhinged.”
Our eyes met, and for a moment, the air in the room heated up again, like it had every time we were next to each other.
“Anyway,” she said, standing up and breaking the spell before I could do something embarrassing like combust. “Since it’s Saturday and we’ve both been buried in schoolwork all week, I thought you might want to get out for once.”
“Get out?”
“Go somewhere.”
“Where?”
“That’s a secret.” Her smile turned slow and mischievous. “Unless you’re too scared to trust me.”
My spine straightened immediately.
“I’m not scared.”
“Good. Then get dressed in something warm because it is freezing outside.”
I glanced down at my pyjama shorts and oversized T-shirt, suddenly very aware of how underdressed I was.
“I need to change.”
“Obviously.” She took a step closer, close enough that I could see the flecks of gold in her green eyes, close enough that I could feel her warm breath on my face. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
My throat went dry. The word “privacy” should not sound that loaded with meaning.
“I… uhm… okay.”
“Unless you need help picking something out?”
My brain blue-screened.
“No, I… I’ll just change in the bathroom.”
“You don’t have to do that; this is your room. I can wait downstairs.”
“Yes,” I said far too fast. “That would be… yes. Perfect. Great. Amazing.”
She smiled, and I swear to God she was fully aware of what she was doing to me.
“I’ll be in the car then. Take your time.”
She reached the door, then paused.
“And princess?”
“Yes?” I croaked.
“Next time you want to tell me how you really feel, don’t hold back. I like seeing what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”
She left, closing the door behind her, and I stood there for a full minute just trying to remember how to perform basic human functions like breathing and blinking.
Next time.
She had said next time, already certain there would be one. Like she wanted there to be one.
I grabbed my clothes and stumbled towards the bathroom, my hands still shaking slightly as I tried to process what had just happened.
Marley had come to my dorm. She’d been in my room. She was waiting for me downstairs, and despite all my confusion and embarrassment and complete inability to act normal around her, she kept coming back.
Maybe I didn’t understand whatever this was, but apparently, I didn’t need to. Not yet.
For now, it was enough that she was waiting for me downstairs, and for the first time in days, that hollow ache in my chest was completely gone.