Chapter 20
Gaelfr’s question reverberated through the air, heavy with rage, and with bitter, thwarted envy.
Gaelfr was… jealous.
And however Raye felt about Gaelfr, in this instant, the odd swoop in her gut felt… relieved. Grateful. That Gaelfr was saying this, barging his way through it, even if it was wrong. Even if he had no right, either.
“Tell me, Kalfr,” he demanded, as he gave a hard shake to Kalfr’s shoulders. “Who was this woman! And why did you betray us with her?!”
Betray… us. Raye’s gut dipped again, because was Gaelfr including her in that? But yes, his furious eyes flicked toward her, brief but purposeful, before glaring back at Kalfr’s face.
“Tell me!” he roared, loud enough that Raye flinched. “Where is this woman? And did you grant her a son, also?!”
Oh, gods. Raye had fully missed that implication, that possibility — but now that it was here, flashing before her eyes, it felt even more horrifying than the rest. Had Kalfr given that woman a son?
Did Svein have a sibling? And — the horror flared higher — Gaelfr would therefore see that son as his own, too.
He would need to go to this woman, and offer his care to her and her son, just like he had with Raye.
And was that why Gaelfr had been so adamant about coming here, and seeing Kalfr? To find this other woman, and make sure her son was being cared for? To make sure her son had a father, too?
Raye’s stomach roiled, hard enough that bile surged into her throat, and she choked it back, dragged for air. While her wide eyes frantically searched Kalfr’s face, what would he say, was there another son…
“No,” Kalfr said, and the word was a stark, sweeping relief, staggering Raye against the wall behind her. “There is no son. And she is… gone.”
Gone. Raye sagged heavier against the wall, and Gaelfr’s shoulders sagged too. “Gone where?” he demanded. “And you are sure of this, about the son?”
Kalfr nodded, and rubbed his hand against his eyes. “I am sure,” he said. “Our healer stoppered my seed, so I could not beget a son with her. And as far as I know, for now” — he took a dragging breath — “she has gone north. Back to her home.”
Raye let out a slow exhale, the relief deepening through her chest, but Gaelfr frowned at Kalfr, a growl burning from his throat. “So why,” he hissed, “did you do this with her? Why did you break your vow to me, yet again?”
Kalfr blinked at Gaelfr, and wrenched backwards, out of his grip. “You left, Gael,” he hissed back. “You broke your vow to me. You have no right to demand this of me! Most of all when you now reek of —”
He snapped his mouth shut, but his narrow eyes flicked toward — Raye.
Meaning that Gaelfr now reeked of her. And as Kalfr’s glinting eyes held hers, it was as though he could see the visions of it, marching behind Raye’s eyes.
Gaelfr crouched upside-down over her, feasting between her legs, feeding himself down her throat…
Raye’s face swarmed with heat, and she forced her eyes away from him, back to Gaelfr. Who was growling again, rounding on Kalfr again, his fists raised. “You failed to care for your mate,” he snarled. “And thus, it fell to me to come to her, and care for her in your stead!”
Kalfr scoffed, and raised his fists, too. “Ach, and this must have been such a hardship for you, Gael,” he spat back. “You have been home for what, three days? Did not waste any time, did you?”
Gaelfr’s growl rose to a roar, and in a flash of movement, he hurled himself at Kalfr again. Too fast for Kalfr to dodge this time, and Gaelfr’s huge body hurled him back onto the stone floor beneath them, slightly shaking the room beneath Raye’s feet.
“I kept my vows to you for all these summers,” Gaelfr rasped, as Kalfr twisted and kicked beneath him. “And so did your mate! And you abandoned her, you ploughed this new reeking woman, without me, again!”
Kalfr kicked up again, striking at Gaelfr with knees and elbows, but Gaelfr shoved his heavier weight down against him, and gripped firmly at his throat.
“And then,” he added, harder, “you did not even send for me, and allow me to keep my own vows to care for our kin, in your stead! So no, I did not waste any time” — his other fist drew back, hung menacingly in the air over Kalfr’s face — “for you were gone, and our woman and son needed me! They needed you, and you were not there!”
His fist kept hanging there, about to strike down, to smash Kalfr straight in the face — and there was something in the way Kalfr stared up at it.
Something blank in his eyes, something empty, something glazed and lifeless.
And he just kept looking at it, not moving, not fighting — until a single drop of water streaked from his eye toward the floor.
“Then do it, Gael,” he whispered, so quiet Raye almost couldn’t hear it. “Finish it.”
Gaelfr blinked, twitched, while Kalfr drew in a ragged breath, and another tear streaked from his eye. “It is what I deserve,” he breathed, his voice cracking. “What the goddess would wish, after all my failings. You will well care for Svein, ach? And tell him — tell him —”
His face crumpled, his eyes squeezing shut, and oh, gods, he was weeping. Lying there beneath Gaelfr and weeping with great, anguished sobs, as though his entire world had broken, and crushed him whole beneath it.
Raye’s own eyes were stinging, her breath quaking in her throat. No. No. This wasn’t right. Kalfr wasn’t supposed to look like that, to weep like that. He wasn’t supposed to want to leave them again, forever. No. She couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t.
And thank the gods, Gaelfr snapped backwards, his fist dropping, his eyes wide and disbelieving on Kalfr’s face.
“What?” he breathed, his voice suddenly small, strained.
“No, Kalfr. I only wished” — he shook his head — “I only wish you to fight me. To speak truth to me. To punish me in turn, for leaving you, and then bedding your mate, without you!”
But Kalfr’s breaths heaved, his eyes still squeezed shut, and his hand rose to cover his face. While Gaelfr kept staring back down at him, shaking his head, his wide eyes now speaking of… alarm. Of stark, genuine fear.
“Ach, ástin mín,” he breathed, as he gripped Kalfr’s wrist, and drew his hand away from his face. “The goddess would never wish to harm you. Not you.”
His voice broke, his eyes rapidly blinking, and his hands dropped to Kalfr’s face, slightly trembling as they wiped at his wet cheeks.
“You are a favoured son of the goddess, and you have only just met your own perfect son,” he croaked.
“Thus, you will stay, and show yourself a good father to him. You will make the goddess proud. You will.”
Kalfr didn’t reply, his breaths still heaving jagged and desperate through his chest, while Gaelfr kept stroking his face. “You will,” he said again, deeper, a command. “I know this. For I am your ástvinur, and you are mine.”
The words caught at something, dragged up a bitter, painful memory behind Raye’s prickling eyes.
That moonlit night in her front garden, Gaelfr’s hands touching Kalfr, his voice softening just the same.
His expression just the same, too, all fierce stubborn certainty, and deep, devastating care. Comfort. Affection.
As if maybe, that long-ago night, Gaelfr hadn’t just been making a point, or trying to hurt Raye. As if maybe… maybe he’d seen something on Kalfr, scented something, and wanted to… help. To care for his ástvinur, as he’d sworn to do.
And right now, it was helping. Wasn’t it? Kalfr’s breaths slowing, deepening, his bright eyes holding to Gaelfr’s face with something much like desperation. Like… craving. While Gaelfr kept caressing his face, and that was a twinge of a smile, wavering on Gaelfr’s hard mouth.
“Good,” he murmured, the single word striking strangely to Raye’s groin. “Good, ástin mín. Ach, I have missed you.”
Kalfr shuddered all over, his eyes glittering, his head tipping back.
And it was again as though that long-ago night was blazing to life before Raye’s blinking eyes, breath by breath.
Gaelfr’s hand spreading against Kalfr’s jaw, tilting his head sideways with gentle, proprietary ease.
Exposing Kalfr’s neck, his scars, so he could lean down, inhale against it, bare his teeth…
Gaelfr was about to bite him. To do that, again, here, while Raye watched. While her breath froze, her stomach pitched in her gut, and something wailed at the back of her thoughts. Kalfr’s body arching up, Gaelfr’s teeth settling against his throat —
“Wait,” Raye gasped, her voice ringing through the room. “Stop!”