Bree #2
“How’s your family doing?” Benny asks, like he’s been thinking of this question since we left the picnic tables. “I watched the last season, but that was a few years ago. And there was the offshoot in New York, but I know your show doesn’t cover everything.”
“Or anything, really,” I remind him, not sure how I feel about the fact that he’s been watching our show.
He’s been watching our show!? Twenty-seven-year-old men are not exactly our prime demographic.
He’s still waiting, so I continue. “It’s not scripted, exactly.
I won’t go that far. But you know how staged it can be. ”
“Yeah, I remember the producers and all their suggestions.” He gives me a look, and I wonder if he’s thinking of the time we both ended up at the same restaurant at the same time with separate groups of friends in LA, yet ended up leaving together.
We were kids, but they orchestrated a lot of our social situations until we got together officially.
I tuck a loose hair into the scrunchy, putting those memories back in the past. “Did you see that Noah got married?”
He nods.
“He and Cat have the sweetest baby girl. I don’t know if they’ve announced it yet because I’m staying off my phone. Her name is Stella, and she’s the most perfect angel. They still live in Sunset Harbor.”
“That’s a pretty name.”
“She’s named after Cat’s mom.” My feet sink into the sand. “They’re currently babysitting my Pomeranian.”
“Peanut.”
My stomach clenches.
“I follow you,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck again. I’m beginning to think this is a tell of some sort.
“I didn’t realize you had any social media.”
He shrugs. “It’s fairly new. I slipped into your notifications unseen with all your other fans.” Benny laughs. “You probably don’t even manage your own socials, do you?”
“I have…some…help.” I’m unable to fight my grin. “I can’t do everything myself.”
“No, of course not.” His smile is indulgent, but I still think it’s well meant.
I need to talk about something else. “Olive is still dating Dash Malone, and we’re taking bets on when they’ll get married.”
“They’re going to have some crazy famous babies.”
“And Zoey is living in New York and happy, as far as I know. My parents got a divorce a few years ago, so things in my family have been weird since then. Zoey has taken on a mom-ish role among us, which is mostly annoying since we still have a mom who does the same thing.”
“Sounds like everyone’s doing well.”
“I think they are. We’re all a little jealous of Noah and Cat.”
He looks sidelong at me. “You want a baby?”
“No, I want…” But I don’t tell him. It’s weird how comfortable this is.
I can feel myself opening up more than he probably wants or needs to know.
There’s a small voice of caution in the back of my head telling me not to divulge too much, but this is Benny Rhodes.
He used to know the people I’m updating him on, and he won’t run straight for the nearest clickbait site to sell the info.
He’s so off the grid, I’m surprised his house has electricity.
I give him a bright smile, hoping he allows the subject change without a hitch. “How are your parents?”
“Still in LA. They love their life there.”
“Still? I figured they’d be in Montana.”
“No, I ran there by myself. Well, with a few bodyguards to start.”
“Of course.”
He peers at me. “You should have brought at least one with you here, Bree.”
“Is that why you brought me to lunch? You’re afraid I’ll be taken if I come out alone, and someone will keep me in their basement and sell my hair on eBay?”
He gives me a funny expression, then kicks the incoming surf. “No, eBay would never allow that anyway.”
“I bet there’s a workaround.”
“We’re not going to unpack that right now. I think it’s unwise to be here alone. Is anyone coming to join you?”
“No.” I look out over the ocean, water stretching out until it meets the blue sky. Yellow sunlight reflects on the water’s edge and glares in my eyes.
“Do they know where you are?” he hedges, like he suspects the answer already.
I take a few steps closer to the water and let an icy wave run over my feet. Holy cold, Batman. A shiver wracks my shoulders.
“Bree?”
My patience is ebbing. Possibly because I know he’s right.
The guilty taketh the truth, and all that.
“No, they don’t. I’ve run away.” I’m running away now from his question, stepping further away like it’ll keep me from needing to remain in this conversation.
“I told you that the first night I got here, remember?”
“Yeah, but I figured your mom, at least—”
“Nope, not her. Not anyone.” I close my eyes and step closer to the water again, letting it run over my ankles this time.
My feet sink into the wet sand when the wave recedes.
It would be easy to say the words now, to purge myself and admit how badly I messed up.
How everything is going to change in two days when the song releases. But I’m scared it’ll push him away.
I enjoy having Benny here, talking to him so easily, the way he looks at me. Once he knows about my stupid diss track, any remaining respect he has for me will be gone, down the drain forever.
Like it will be for the rest of the world.
I can see the light leaving his beautiful blue eyes already.
Maybe I didn’t escape far enough. I should have gone to Australia or Singapore or somewhere else far away where no one would ever find me. With each wave, my feet sink another inch and I imagine myself fully fading away.
Benny takes my hand and gives it a gentle tug. I tip my head back and look into his questioning eyes. “My cousin owns the house you’re renting. He told me you have it for a month.”
“That’s the plan.”
“It’s a long time to hide, Bree.”
“Probably not long enough.”
He doesn’t ask what I’m hiding from, but I can see he wants to know. There’s a little line between his brows, and the sun is shining on his Wayfarers enough to show how solidly his eyes are set on me.
Also, he hasn’t let go of my hand. I’m standing here as the water recedes over my feet, holding his hand in the warm sunlight and wondering what alternate universe threw me into the past like this.
As much as I’m enjoying this moment, it can’t last. This isn’t a sustainable thing. The moment he sees what a revengeful, vindictive person I’ve turned into, he’ll be disgusted with me.
I’m disgusted with me.
Right now, though, he looks interested. I know this face. It kissed me a lot when we were teenagers. His eyes drop to my mouth as if he’s thinking the same thing. How would it feel to kiss him all these years later? The moment is right, the setting is romantic, the waves are crashing, and—
Cold water slams into our legs as a huge wave rushes the beach. I tear my hand free from his and squeal, twisting away to run from the ice bath they call the Pacific Ocean.
Why is it freezing? It’s summer.