Chapter 19
LOGAN
I grip the hair dryer until my knuckles are white.
I didn’t protect her.
I didn’t trust her when she said she didn’t cheat on me.
I said things to her that I’ll regret until my dying day.
Even though I’m feeling all these emotions, I brush through her hair gently, determined that she never feels pain from me again.
I can feel her eyes on me, but I can’t look at her. I’ve never been so ashamed of myself in all my life.
When her hair is dry, I put the blow dryer away and then finally meet her eyes in the mirror. “Are you hungry? Or do you want to watch—”
She turns to look at me. “I just want to lie down… is that okay?”
“Fuck, honey, that’s more than okay.”
I pull her gently from the bathroom and turn off the light as we go. I pull the covers down and tuck her into bed. I turn off the light and then walk around to the other side of the bed and lie down next to her.
“Can I hold you?”
I barely get the words out and she throws her body against mine. Instantly, I’m wrapping my arms and my legs around her like I always do. I sigh as she melts into me. My cock twitches, but I do my best to ignore it.
The room is quiet, and Bree whispers my name softly. “Logan.”
I stroke my hand down her back. “Yeah, honey?”
Her finger is drawing circles on my chest. “I’m sorry… for everything. For putting you in danger, for putting your family, your friends, your community—”
“Stop,” I demand. The fact that she’s apologizing to me makes me feel even worse. “Bree… baby… please.”
She leans up and looks into my eyes. “I would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to you.”
I push her gently to her back and hover over her. I look at her bruised eye and busted lip. “I’m the one that should be apologizing. I should have listened to you, Bree. I should have let you explain—”
She shakes her head. “I did lie to you, Lo. You didn’t owe me anything.” She huffs out a big breath. “Going against the Antonelli family is not something I wanted to do, but I couldn’t say no. I had to—”
I ask her the one question that’s been on my mind all night. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did you not trust me? Or—”
She puts a finger to my lip. “I trusted you. Heck, I know the kind of man you are. If I had told you, what would you have done?”
I lean toward her. “I wouldn’t have left your side.”
She nods, not surprised in the least. “Yeah, and that would have put you in danger. I couldn’t—I wouldn’t—do that to you.”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it, do you?”
Her eyebrows lift. “Get what?”
“Baby, I love you—”
She cuts me off. “You mean loved…”
I shake my head. “I mean love. I loved you then and I love you now, Bree. Even when I thought you cheated on me and I wanted to hate you, I couldn’t. If something had happened to you—” My voice breaks because just talking about it makes me physically ill.
She cups my cheek. “I feel the same way, Lo. When we broke up, I knew I had to stay in New York for the trial, but as soon as it was over, I came to Whiskey Run. I thought about you every day, and I knew that I had to try. I couldn’t lose you. Not like that.”
I lean my forehead into hers. “You’re the bravest woman I know, honey.”
She lifts her shoulders. “I wasn’t brave. I was scared to death the whole time.”
I clench my eyes closed because I can just imagine how scared she was.
I lift my head and look at her. “It’s my turn.”
“Your turn for what?”
“My turn to apologize—”
She cuts me off. “No, I get it. You thought I cheated.”
I shake my head. “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about tonight. I wasn’t there for you. You were hurt and—”
She puts a hand on each side of my face. “That wasn’t your fault, Lo. And you and your men came to get me.”
Almost fiercely, I tell her, “I will always come to get you. I promise you that from this moment, I will be by your side. I will stand by you and protect you and—”
She juts her chin at me. “For how long? Nine months?”
I shake my head adamantly. “Forever, Bree. You’re mine.”
Her eyes widen, and she winces as if it’s painful. I lean down and kiss her cheek softly. “You need to rest, baby. We can talk in the morning.”
Her hands go to my shoulders. “I don’t want to rest, Logan. I’m numb… and I just want to feel something.”
I tilt my head. “Feel something?”
She slides her hand down my stomach. “Yeah, I want to get lost in you. I don’t want to think about these last two years without you. I want—”
“Baby… are you sure? You’ve been through a traumatic—”
She cuts me off and cups my manhood. “Yes, I’m sure. I want you.”
My hips jerk, pushing against her hold. I rest my forehead to hers. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
She pushes me to my back. She pulls down my shorts while I lift my hips. In one movement, she sits astride me and pulls the T-shirt she’s wearing up her body and then throws it across the room.
Her hands go to my chest, and she smiles softly at me. “What do you think? You game?”
My hands go to her hips. “I just don’t want to hurt you… I’ll never hurt you again, Bree.”
I hold back, not wanting to push myself on her, needing to know she’s okay.
She slides backwards, and my cock twitches against her ass.
She squirms on me and then leans up so she can wrap her hand around my girth.
I suck in a breath as she lines me up to her center and slowly impales herself on me. I lean up, unable to hold back any longer. Pressing our chests together, I hold her to me. She starts to move, riding me, squeezing me until I feel that I’m going to explode.
She moans, and not wanting to hurt her cut lip, I kiss her neck.
She leans back, and I suckle her breast as she rides me.
“Yes,” she moans.
I lift my hips, meeting her thrust for thrust. She circles her hips, grinding her clit against me. Her moans get louder, and her pussy gets wetter. “Don’t stop,” she begs. I wrap my arms around her, holding tightly so that I can punch my hips against her.
Her release sets me off, and we both moan as our orgasms take over.
I fill her up, releasing my seed deep inside her, and when she falls limp in my arms, I lean back, turning her so she’s lying on her back.
I look down into her hooded eyes. “I’ll be right back.”
She holds on to me. “No… please don’t go.”
I nip at her lip. “I’m going to get us cleaned up, and then I’m coming back to bed… okay?”
She’s scared and rightfully so. She’s been through a lot, not just tonight but for the last two years. Knowing what I know now, I’m assuming that since she moved here to Whiskey Run, she’s been looking over her shoulder every second.
In this moment, I vow she won’t have to do that anymore. I’m going to take care of her. She won’t have anything to worry about.
I clean myself up and then carry a warm cloth back to the bedroom. I push Bree’s knees apart, and she holds her hand out. “I can do it.”
I hold the towel out of her reach. “I want to do it.”
She must see the determination in my eyes because she doesn’t argue with me any further. I clean her up, toss the towel into the hamper, and then lie down next to her. I don’t have to say anything; she just leans into me, wrapping herself around me. She melts into me and sighs.
“I love you,” I whisper.
I can feel her smile against my chest. “I love you, too.”