Chapter 9 #2
“I don’t want to hear anything,” she nearly whispered, her voice so soft I almost didn’t hear it. Some internal battle played out across her beautiful features and I was interested to see what side would win. It was a few moments before she seemed resolute, squared her shoulders, and began to talk.
“I was married. I’ve been separated a little over a year.” She paused, hoping for some cue that I had heard enough. But I wasn’t about to give her that; I wanted information. I wanted to know what made this girl tick.
I walked to my chair and sat back down, waiting for her to continue.
“I married Decker after dating for about eleven months. He was my first love and when he proposed, I disregarded everything everyone said and married him anyway. We had a quick wedding and then moved to Boston.” She took a sip of her wine and looked across the desk at me.
We are finally getting somewhere.
“I was always the little girl who dreamed of the happily ever after. I wanted to be like my mom, baking the day away in a cute house with a white picket fence for my family. My husband would come home from work and kiss me and it would just be so … happy. And I thought I would have that with Decker. I thought I would have it all. I thought I could make it everything I wanted, anyway. So when I walked in on him and our neighbor, it was traumatic.”
Her voice broke at the end and it caused something to stir inside me.
What the actual fuck? He cheated on her?
I leaned across the desk and gently gripped her chin, pulling it up so she was looking me in the eye.
“I don’t know him, Jada, but I can tell you that it was his loss. People say stupid shit like that all the time and, I know I’ve known you like two whole fucking minutes, but he was a lucky son of a bitch.” I held her in place until I was sure she wouldn’t look down again before I let her go.
“I should’ve known it was coming,” she said, her voice stronger. “Looking back, I think he was messing around on me the entire time. I should have left him long before I did. Between the cheating and the other stuff …”
“What other stuff?” Anger began to rise from the deepest part of me.
Dear God, please let me have misunderstood that.
“Just his drinking and stuff.”
The spinning ring gave her away.
What did he do to her? And why do I want to hunt the fucker down?
“I’m not going to press you for details about that right now.” My voice was hard as steel. “But if my gut instinct is right, and it always is, my path better not ever cross his.”
“It’s fine, Cane. I am here and he is there. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I couldn’t be all he needed.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Don’t even start with that shit, Jada. His problems are his problems—not yours.”
I’m going to need a good couple of rounds with the heavy bag after this.
“Anyway, the moral of this story is that there will be no more bad boys for me. No more players. No more games because I always end up losing.”
“And how does that relate to me?” I asked playfully, trying to put a smile on her beautiful face again.
“Are you serious?” She laughed. “By your own admission. You’re the coach.”
I got up, threw my things in the garbage, and considered what she said. “So you think I’m a bad boy and I’ve been blacklisted because of it. Correct?”
“Correct.” She grinned.
“That seems tragically unfair. You don’t even know me.”
“So tell me about you. Tell me why you’re so damn interested in making me crazy.”
“I honestly don’t know. It could be a number of things,” I said, weighing my words. “It could be your charming personality or your fuckable body.”
Jada turned two shades of red and I stifled a laugh.
“Or it could be that we just have this chemistry that I feel would be a pity not to explore.”
We eyed each other carefully, trying to figure out our next move. It was Jada who broke the silence.
“Cane, you’re the poster boy for a broken heart.
I know how you work. As soon as you get your fill of me, you’ll move on.
You said that yesterday—you want one night to fuck me out of your system.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but I can’t do it.
I’m not like Kari, if that’s what you’re thinking.
I know she and Max have some sort of friends-with-benefits thing going on, and that’s great. But it’s just not me.”
I wasn’t convinced that was something we couldn’t get around. “What do you need, Jada?”
“I want to feel like the only girl in the world to somebody. I want to be their priority, their everything. I don’t know what that feels like.”
The hurt in her voice made me want to pull her onto my lap and hold her tight. I cringed at my reaction. Get a grip, Alexander.
“I don’t want to have random sex. I don’t want to be a booty call or whatever you call it.” She looked up at me and gave a weak smile.
“So you still want the picket fence thing?”
If that’s what she wants, I can’t get around that.
“No.” She laughed. “I mean, yes. At some point, I do hope I can still have that. I’m going to be picky this go-around.
I wasted years of my life with Decker, and I don’t want to throw any more of them away on someone who doesn’t really care about me.
I know that makes me needy as hell, but that’s the truth.
I may as well own it. I want kisses in the rain.
Flowers for anniversaries. Texts for no reason.
I want all of the things I have never had.
And I know, without a doubt, you are not interested in giving me those things.
And that’s fine. But that also seems to make spending time together pointless. ”
I looked at the beautiful woman across from me, shocked that it really bothered me that she had never experienced those things. She deserved to be made to feel beautiful and wanted. But that didn’t change the fact that I was not the person who could do those things for her.
“Have you ever just been with someone, spent a few hours with them, enjoyed yourself, and then gone home? There’s something to be said for that.” I smiled, hoping to broaden her horizons a little.
“Yeah, of course I have.” She looked up at me again. “You aren’t the only one who can read people. I can read you, too, and I know who you are. And you are what I need to avoid.”
My phone started to ring, and she motioned for me to go ahead and take the call. I looked at the screen and then stepped into the hall to take Max’s call. By the time I had finished the conversation and gone back into her office, Jada had cleaned up the mess and had her bag on her shoulder.
I was relieved that she was ready to call it a night. Her speech, as much as I hated to admit it, had gotten under my skin a bit. She had her mind made up that she wasn’t going to be with me, and that pissed me off even though she was right.
You aren’t changing jack shit because of her. This is just some stupid obsession, and you’ll have moved on in a few days.
We exited the building, and Jada locked up. We made our way quietly to our cars, neither of us speaking.
“Thank you for dinner tonight.” She fished her car keys out of her purse. “It was really sweet.”
I studied her under the moonlight, the warm air blowing her hair around, the smell of her soft perfume swirling around me. She was the closest thing to perfection I had ever seen.
“We could do it again sometime. I can always have food delivered. I have people.”
“I don’t remember agreeing to it this time.” She raised her eyebrows, and I chuckled. “But really, thank you.”
“Good night.” We exchanged a small smile as we reached her Jeep. She got in and started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving me standing beneath the parking lamp.
I watched her drive away. Why did I sense that I might be watching a woman I could see more with drive out of my life? I briefly considered jumping in my Denali and chasing her down, but the rational part of my brain took control.
You aren’t going to go do something stupid. Follow the rules. No exceptions.