Chapter 30
THIRTY
Jada
Bliss.
That small yet meaningful word was bouncing in my head as I pulled my car into the driveway after a successful day at work.
The last few days had been nothing but blissful.
I had spent most nights with Cane, falling into an easy rhythm of day-to-day activities.
Simple, mundane things, when done at his side, were a whole new experience.
Being with him was enjoyable and easy. There was no walking on eggshells that I had experienced in my marriage to Decker.
I shook my head, realizing that line of thinking could very well get me in trouble.
As soon as I opened the door to the house, aromas of garlic and tomatoes flooded my senses.
I tossed my bags on the couch as I walked through the living room to the kitchen.
Kari was standing at the stove over a boiling pot of water and a simmering pan of pasta sauce.
Her brown hair was pulled back into a bun, one hand on her slender hip that was jutted to the side.
The whole scene reminded me of my mother. Kari looked much more like her than I did, with the same brown hair and green eyes. Mom’s specialty dinner was spaghetti and Kari had found her recipe in an old binder in Dad’s basement when we were teenagers. She’d perfected it over the years.
“Hey!” My voice came out in a singsong way, causing Kari to turn around from the stove. “That smells delish.”
“It will be, as always.” She winked at me before turning back to stir the sauce. “How was your day?”
“Great. I was on a roll today,” I said, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Do you want me to make a salad?”
“That would be awesome.”
“What did you do today?” I asked, getting to work on the salad.
“I finished my shift early this afternoon and did a little shopping.” She smiled brightly as I winced at the thought. “I bought a gorgeous new pink dress. You have to see it. Anyway, it was just a very productive day, so now I’m continuing the amazingness with spaghetti.”
“I love that you celebrate with food. It is so my style.”
“Yeah, didn’t figure you’d mind. Oh.” Kari turned to me, setting the wooden spoon on a dish beside the stove. “A box came for you today.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? I didn’t order anything.”
Kari wiped her hands on a towel. “It did. I set it on the table.”
I followed her to the table, noticing a parcel sitting in the middle. “It doesn’t say who it’s from,” she said, picking it up and flipping it over in her hands. It was larger than a shoebox and completely nondescript.
“Strange. I have no clue.” I took the package from Kari and opened it on the table.
“What the …?” The box was full of the pictures I’d left in the back of Decker’s closet. Image after image stared up at me, reminding me of a different lifetime.
“Jada,” Kari began, her hand to her mouth, “did Decker send these?”
“I guess.” I dug through the box, feeling my heart ping as memories of a life I had wanted to leave behind rolled past me like a slideshow.
I pulled out a photo of us at the Tempe Town Lake Marina when we were in college.
Decker was smiling at me while I was smiling at the camera.
When did that dynamic change? A blurry photo of our wedding ceremony, taken by one of Decker’s friends, was slightly torn on the edges.
There was a picture of our first house in Boston.
We had looked at it on a rainy summer day and fell in love with it immediately. I was so proud of that house.
Leafing through the pictures, I had to ask myself if these memories were even real.
Did the smile on his face mean he was happy at that moment with me? Or was he happy thinking about the girl he was going to take to Columbus for the weekend in the guise of “work”?
Everything was tainted, a cloud around each and every memory that the box held.
Kari reached in and pulled out a sheet of folded paper, handing it to me. “Has he called you lately?”
I shook my head.
“Why would he send these now? I don’t get it.”
I sighed. “It’s hard to tell. Maybe he’s been drinking lately and is reminiscing. Maybe he’s hungry, and no one’s home to make dinner. Heck if I know. He’s totally unpredictable.”
I straightened the paper, and I held my breath as I began to read:
Jada,
I thought you needed a reminder of the good times.
I haven’t called you since you asked me not to and I’ve given you the space you asked for.
But it’s time that you come back to where you belong.
I never should have let you leave to begin with, but I figured it would show you that you can’t make it without me and that you would have to come back.
Look at these pics, J – remember what we had. It’s time for you to get over the past and come home. I’ve been waiting on you but I won’t forever.
Call me and let’s talk and get everything sorted, okay? I miss you.
Your husband
I slowly released the breath I was holding.
This was typical Decker: almost sweet at the beginning and then showing his true colors at the end, a confusing mess of sweet and sour.
But I had let myself live in such a confused state for far too long, never relaxing with Decker.
Never knowing what the next day would bring.
And I had a taste of knowing with Cane, and it was something I didn’t want to live without.
“I don’t even know what to say to that,” Kari said, taking the note from my hand and wadding it into a ball. She turned to me, her face stern and concerned. “How does that make you feel?”
I sighed as I slumped into a chair. “Annoyed. Frustrated. Kind of sad, but not sad enough to do anything about it.”
Kari tossed the paper back into the box and walked to the stove, turning everything off, before returning to the table and sitting down with me. “Why does it make you sad?”
“What are you, a therapist?” I shook my head, not wanting to get to the bottom of anything except maybe a wineglass.
She frowned. “No, but I am your sister. And it’s my job to help you figure things out. So spill.”
“I don’t know. I left those pictures because I wanted to forget those times existed.”
“Those times, the ones where you were happy, never happened,” she said, knocking her hand against the box. “You were happy under a false reality. If you had known for sure what he was actually up to, would you have been happy?”
I shook my head, seeing her point.
“That’s like seeing half of a picture and thinking it’s pretty. But when you put the other half up there, it’s this awful mess. And it changes your entire perception of the picture as a whole. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I laughed at her analogy. “You’re nuts. But yeah, I get it.” We sat silently for a minute, Kari watching me as I looked at the box, expecting it to do something or for some revelation to hit me. But nothing happened.
“Well, we have to do something with this,” I said, not taking my eyes off the cardboard. “What do you think?”
“That is up to you.”
My pocket began vibrating, and I pulled my phone from it, my breath hitching in my throat when I read the name on the screen. “It’s Decker,” I said, looking up at Kari. “How did he get my new number?”
“I have no idea, Jada. Maybe you shouldn’t answer it.” Kari’s eyes were wide, and I could see the uneasiness she was feeling in them.
“No, I am not going to let him know he gets to me.” I straightened my shoulders, gathering my courage. “If he bothers me too much, I’ll get a restraining order or something.”
I answered the call, watching Kari watch me. “Hello?” I said, clearing my throat.
“Hey, Jada,” he said, his voice low and sexy. At one point in my life, I would have swooned. Now, I fought myself from gagging.
“What do you want?” I figured we may as well cut to the chase and not delay the inevitable. I blew out a breath, hoping it would take the host of nerves running through me out with it.
“Someone’s had a bad day.” He laughed into the phone. “I sent you something earlier this week, and the tracking said it was delivered today. Are you home yet?”
“I got it,” I said dismissively, trying to rein in my emotions.
“And?” he prompted, his voice sounding contrite.
“And what? I got them. I will dispose of them now.” I felt a war brewing and stood, needing to be on my toes.
“Dispose of them?” I could imagine his face twisting, his eyes narrowing. “That’s interesting.”
“Not really. Look, I’ve asked you not to call me anymore.”
“I didn’t for a long time.” He sounded annoyed, and I didn’t care. “And finding your new number was a pain in the ass, but not impossible. So nice try. Now it’s time to stop these petty games you’re playing. You made your point.”
“I made a point?” I should have expected him to say something like that, but it was over the top, even for him. “The only point I am trying to make to you is that I don’t want you calling me.”
“You know as well as I do that you will end up back here again. I wish you would just stop fighting it and get your ass home. You’re wasting my time,” he growled into the phone.
“No,” I said, feeling the disbelief turn into fury, “you’re wasting my time, Decker. We got divorced, which should make it clear that I never want to see you again. How hard is that to comprehend?”
“You’re such a brat,” he said, his voice rising. “You’re acting like a child!”
I recoiled from the sound of his voice, now booming through the phone. “Decker … Let. It. Go. If you call me again, I will look into a restraining order. Leave me alone.”
He laughed sardonically. “Really? You think that it is that easy?”
“No. I know it is that easy because it is my life now. You don’t have a say in what I do.”
“Ah, I know what’s happening. You have a little boyfriend out there, don’t you?”
“That’s none of your damn business.”
“You do. And he’s filling your head with all of this nonsense.” He laughed as anger consumed me. “He’s probably telling you how awful I am and how he isn’t anything like me at all.” He paused. “He is, isn’t he?”
“He is nothing like you. He doesn’t have to tell me anything because he shows me what he is.
” My hand shook as the anger rolled through me.
“Don’t call me ever again, you fucking bastard!
” I slid the phone off and set it down before I dropped it.
I turned around to see Kari standing with her arms crossed and a satisfied look on her face.
“I’m impressed.” She smiled, nodding her head in agreement. “You did well.”
My phone lit up again on the table and I watched his name flash across the screen. I waited until it stopped before picking it up and turning it off. “I have no idea how to block his number. Do you?” I looked up at Kari.
She picked up the phone and turned it on. “I don’t know how you survive being so technologically challenged.” Kari’s fingers flew across the screen before she set it back down. “Done. He’s blocked, from that number, anyway.”
My eyes fell back to the box. “Do we have a lighter or matches or something?”
A slow smile slid across Kari’s face. “We do, indeed.” Kari pulled open a drawer and rustled around until she pulled out a box of matches.
“I’m thinking it would be a great night for a fire on the patio.” I picked up the box and faced Kari, returning the smug grin she was flashing at me. “Would you care to join me? I have the kindling if you would so kindly bring the matches.”