Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
The following morning, we lay together in my bed, Cane still holding me tight. Every time I tried to move, he would clamp down tighter, like he was afraid I would leave. Even in his sleep the night before, his arms were around me with a viselike grip.
We talked about a few unimportant things, but mostly we just lay together quietly.
I got the feeling he just wanted to be and I was okay with that.
I had missed the physical connection with him as much as anything.
Being with him felt like a part of me had been missing but was now back, and I didn’t want to ruin that.
As good as it felt being in his arms, I knew that he would probably have to leave long before I wanted him to and I wanted to soak up as much Cane as I could to tide me over until he came back.
“Cane,” I said, turning my head to look at him. His blue eyes missed some of the sparkle and mischief that they normally held and that worried me. “Are you okay?”
He kissed my forehead. “Of course I’m okay.”
“You know what I mean,” I said, spinning my ring around my finger, hesitant to ask the next question.
Cane blew out a breath and looked at the ceiling.
“There is something different between us. I just feel like I am on the outskirts of your life.”
He grabbed my shoulder and rolled me over to face him. “You’re never on the outskirts of my life.”
My throat tightened right along with my chest. I gazed into his eyes, the blues swirling fast and hard. “I just feel like you never want to see me, that it burdens you to have to make time for me.”
Tears began to prick at my eyes. I had just thrown my worst thoughts out there and now I awaited his response.
He grabbed my waist and laid me on top of him, crushing me against his body. “Jada, no.”
My tears fell softly onto the heated skin of his torso before running off the side.
“I know things have gone to shit. I have had a lot going on, baby. I’m hoping it will all be worked through soon.
I miss … this. I miss you. I miss holding you, talking to you, teasing you.
Baking with you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making me smile.
“When I say I want to be with you, it’s because I do. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
I rose to look at his gorgeous face. He was chewing his bottom lip furiously, his eyes searching mine.
“Okay,” I finally said. “But I want a rain check. Every hour I have to sacrifice will be paid back with interest. Capiche?”
Cane’s chest bounced as a chuckle escaped his throat, his eyes now alight with humor. “Fuck, I love you.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his eyes went wide.
My heartbeat raced, goose bumps breaking out across my skin. My throat swelled, my breath hitching in my throat.
Breathe. That was probably a mistake.
“Jada,” he said, his voice rough. “I—”
“It’s fine.” I plastered on a smile to cover my disappointment. “It’s fine, Cane. I know how you meant it.”
His eyes began to blaze as his breath picked up. I turned to roll off him but he grabbed my waist, holding me in place. “Fuck this,” he whispered, his eyes wild.
Forcing a swallow, he continued, “This isn’t how I thought this would happen. Hell, I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel this way at all. But I do, so it’s stupid not to just say it, right?”
His forehead was wrinkled and a small sheen of sweat broke out across it.
“Cane—” I began before his fingertips touched me lightly on the lips, effectively hushing me.
“Jada,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I love you.”
Each word was clear, crisp, as if he wanted to make sure I didn’t misunderstand that he was saying it, not just the words, but the meaning behind it.
I smiled through my nerves, my heart bursting with joy. My chest shook as I suppressed a giggle that was awfully timed. “You don’t have to say that.”
He shook his head, his eyes wary. “Dammit, woman. If you don’t say it back in about two seconds, I am going to lose my shit.”
I let the laugh escape. I loved him. It was really that simple. “I love you, too.”
His face broke out, mirroring mine, before he grabbed the back of my head and crushed his mouth to mine.
CANE
Who would have fucking thought I’d be so happy after telling someone I loved them?
I shook my head.
Who would have thought I would even consider that I loved someone at all?
I worked my way through the streets of Tempe on my way to my office, a dopey smile on my face.
I need to figure out how to look like a normal person before I see Max. I need to get pissed off about something.
I laughed at my thoughts, at the insanity of the morning … at how fucking happy I was.
Who knew?
I hooked a right onto the freeway as my phone went off. BLOCKED was flashing across the screen.
What the fuck?
“Hello?” I said into the line, curiosity getting the best of me.
“Hey, Cane.” The tone was cool and full of complete bullshit.
My blood ran cold.
“Simon Powers.” I scanned for a spot on the freeway to pull over. I couldn’t drive with any sense and deal with this motherfucker. “How’s that leg treating you?”
“Better now with this wad of cash I got from some copper I came across. Money makes everything feel better. But I know you know all about that.”
I pulled over to the side of the road. I needed to concentrate.
“You really are the scum of the earth.”
Simon laughed maniacally over the phone. “Just getting a little back from what you took from me.”
“I didn’t take jack shit from you.”
“I’m about to take everything that fucking matters from you.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“How’s that girlfriend of yours? What’s her name? June? Jenna? Hot little piece, I’ll say that for ya.”
“You motherfucker!” I seethed. “Don’t you fucking say her name! I will find you, fuck the law. Fuck everything. Do you fucking hear me?”
“Cane, Cane, Cane.” Simon laughed. “It’s like taking candy from a baby. Just tell that baby of yours not to wear that tie-dyed shirt when she goes for a walk. Makes it too easy to spot her. At least make me work for it.”
The line went dead.
I replayed his words again as I fumbled with the screen and dialed Jada. I felt like I had walked into a freezer, my entire body chilled.
“Hey, baby,” her melodic voice rang out.
“Jada,” I said hurriedly, “do you have a tie-dyed shirt?”
“What?” she asked, obviously confused.
“Do you have a tie-dyed shirt? Just answer me.” I scanned the inside of the car for something to focus on, something to help me calm the fuck down.
“I … yeah, Cane, I do. How would you even know that?”
“FUCK!”