Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
Cane
“I didn’t fucking know!” I bellowed, causing Jada to recoil. I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry for yelling. But just listen to me.”
Jada was sitting in the chair by the window. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and it killed me to see her like that. “It’s just too much, Cane. This is all just too damn much.”
I took a step toward her, and she held up a hand. “Just … don’t. I can’t process anything else today, okay?”
“Baby, I am sorry for all of this. I literally walked into the office this morning, and she was there. I had no idea.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “I believe you. I just … I can’t.” She laughed a small laugh that only made me feel worse. “I just can’t deal with anything else right now.”
I watched her sitting there with her face streaked, her hair pulled partly down from her ponytail. The orange dress she had worn earlier just for my benefit lay in a heap on the floor.
I felt like a complete fucking ass.
“Can I hold you? Please?”
She snorted. “I have to finish packing. I need to leave for the airport in an hour.” She looked down at herself. “And I need to get cleaned up. I’m a mess.”
“You’re just overwhelmed. Everything will be okay, baby. Let us find Simon, and you can come back.”
Her bottom lip quivered, and a sick feeling took over my stomach. “What are you thinking?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“Nothing,” she said, looking away.
“You’re lying to me.”
“You can spot one of your own kind.”
“Jada. Don’t go there.”
“Why, Cane? You don’t like being put on the spot? You don’t like it when I call you out on lying to me for weeks now? Even when my life might have been at stake? Or the fact that I walk in today and see Ashley in your office? You don’t want that open for discussion?”
I tried to stay calm and in control of my body, but it was spinning out of control too quickly. “Dammit, Jada! It’s not like that!”
She leaned forward, her eyes angrier than I had ever seen them.
“Here’s what it’s like, Cane. I’ve been feeling you pull away and have been scared to fucking death that it was going to end like it did with Decker.
But you convinced me otherwise, and I believed you.
And now I have to go out of town because someone may want to kill me, yet I have to leave you here when he might be trying to kill you, too.
How am I supposed to manage that, Cane? How am I supposed to live while worrying that something is going to happen to you? ”
She took in a rush of breath, and her body shook.
“And then I come in there today to see Ashley sitting there.” Her eyes narrowed as she spat her name out like a poison. “Once again, I thought my life was headed in the right direction, and I feel … I feel like everything has been thrown into a mixer and shaken beyond recognition.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks again, and I couldn’t stop myself. I bounded across the floor and wrapped my arms around her. She pounded her fists into my chest as I held her tight before giving in and wrapping them around my back as she poured herself into me.
“I’m so sorry, beautiful girl. So, so sorry,” I apologized, kissing her head. Tears began to prick my eyes. “This will be over soon, and you can come home. We can pick back up where we left off.”
She sniffled as she pulled away, keeping her eyes on the floor. “I don’t want to pick up from here.”
My body stilled, my blood running cold. “For fuck’s sake! What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just tired, Cane.” She shook her head. “I need to get packed, okay?”
“I will be there to get you. I promise you.” I tilted her head to look in my eyes. “I love you.”
Her eyes clouded again as she tried to look away.
“I love you,” I repeated. “You’re my world. My happiness. My exception.”
Her lip shook as a smile made its way across those beautiful lips. “I love you.”
She pulled from my grip, and I let her chin drop.
“You won’t go with me?” Her voice was so soft that I almost didn’t hear it.
“I can’t, Jada,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
She nodded, but I could see that the anger she had when I first arrived was making a comeback.
My chest felt heavy as I considered walking out of this room. She was clearly irate at me. I just hoped like hell it would dissipate as she cooled down.
“You’re leaving Arizona because I asked you to, right? And not because you want to get away from me?”
She refused to look at me as she muttered, “Yeah.”
I grabbed either side of her head and pressed my lips firmly to hers. I rested my forehead against hers, not wanting to let her go, but knowing I had to.
“You’re mine. Whether you’re here or in Chicago—you’re mine.”
She stayed silent as I turned and walked out of her room, leaving my heart, my happiness … my whole fucking world in her hands.
Max was standing by the front door when I made my way down the steps, looking as wary as I felt.
“How’d that go?” he asked. A pained look was on his face.
“You’re going to have your hands full. That’s all I’m saying.”
Max tilted his head. “Does she even know I’m tagging along?”
I shook my head, waiting for his reaction.
He snorted in disbelief. “You fucking owe me, man.”
“When do I not, Max?”
We eyed each other, a million words exchanged and not one spoken.
“How mad is she?”
“Madder than I would like. But at least it will encourage her to stay away from here until I can get this shit sorted. My biggest fear was that she would just show back up, but I think she’s pissed enough to stay away until I can come get her.
Although she didn’t mean to, Ashley just may have done me a favor. ”
“Do you think you should try to smooth things over before you go? I mean, she was going to move to Chicago at one point, man. I’m just saying,” Max pointed out.
My entire body stilled. “I would rather have her in Chicago and alive than here, with me, and in danger.” I shook my head, crazy-ass thoughts flying through my mind, making me feel sick. “I can’t have anything happen to her, Max. This is a risk I have to take.” I paused. “I love her.”
Max raised his eyebrows, a grin sneaking across his face. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“Yeah. Well …”
Max bent his head backward, releasing a breath.
“I know you have your plate full right now, but don’t forget about the delivery in the morning for AH.
I’ve asked Howard to go over there and coordinate the subcontractors until he hears from me, but you or I have to sign the delivery ticket tomorrow. ”
“Thanks. I give you shit all the time, but I appreciate your help. You’re the only person in this world I can count on.” I clapped him on the shoulder.
“Yeah, I know.” He smirked. “But honestly, keep your head up, Alexander. I have Jada taken care of, but you take care of you. A few people would miss you if something happened to you. And I’d be pissed as hell to have to finish these projects myself.”
I chuckled, shaking my head at my best friend. “Fuck you, Max.”
He nodded. “Fuck you, too.”