The Expiration Date

Chapter 5

The door chimes as we walk into this old fifties-style diner located on the pier. It smells like fresh coffee, buttermilk pancakes and bacon. Probably my favorite breakfast combination, with the exception of pancakes. Waffles are the better choice.

“Welcome in! Sit anywhere and we’ll be right with you.”

“C’mon.” Aidan nudges my elbow. “Let’s go to that table over here. It’s my favorite. And the waitress will be discreet. I’ve known her for years.”

I follow Aidan to a small booth in the corner. He’s turned his baseball cap around so now the bill half-covers his face. Although I don’t think anyone would recognize him anyway. Most of the demographic here are elderly people probably upwards of eighty years old. One of the diner patrons at the bar reads a newspaper. At another table, two men bicker about the upcoming NFL season and which one of the L.A. teams is superior, the Chargers or the Rams.

A sweet lady, probably in her sixties or seventies, walks over toward us with a huge smile on her face. “Why hello hun! How are you doing? I was wondering when you were going to stop in. Haven’t seen you in a while, sugar.”

Aidan flashes the widest smile and gets up to bear-hug our waitress. She looks miniscule and frail compared to him. “How are you doing, Mabel? It’s nice to see you. I know, I’ve been very busy.”

“Yeah, very busy sleeping with every hussy in LA.”

Damn, the gumption on this woman to call him out like that. She is my hero.

Aidan grins. “Fair enough. You know you are my number one, Mabel,” Aidan says as he sinks back down into the booth.

“You flatter me, sugar, but I’ll believe it when I see it.” She winks at me and I let out a guffaw. I slap my hand to my mouth to stifle the sound, but I can’t resist. This lady has no boundaries. Something that I always pride myself in having. I possess the Hadrian’s Wall of boundaries.

At the sound of my hyena-like outburst, Mabel finally looks over at me. “Oh I should’ve reigned it in – I didn’t even realize you had someone with you.”

“Now, Mabel, when have you ever reigned it in?” Aidan teases.

“Oh you hush. I’m sorry sugar, what’s your name? I don’t remember seeing you in any of the tabloids these past six months. Are you one of Aidan’s little minxes?”

Aidan places his right hand over his eyes and rubs his temples out of embarrassment.

My face hurts already from smiling so much in the span of two minutes. “Um, no. I am…” Actually, I don’t know how to answer this question. “I’m, well, I’m Aidan’s…”

“She’s my girlfriend, Mabel.”

There it is. It’s out there. Mabel is the first to know. Well, I guess fifth to know, seeing how Samantha, Chris, Aidan and I already knew about this whole “girlfriend” thing. Suddenly, I feel tingly all over. I don’t know if it’s a title I’m ready for.

Mabel slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oh! Now I am embarrassed. Me and my big mouth. I don’t know what the word ‘filter’ means. Never have been good at it. I didn’t mean to call you a minx. Actually you seem really genuine and sweet. I have this ability to read people and sense their auras. Yours sends all the good vibes.” She turns her attention to Aidan. “About damn time honey, I was worried you let this L.A. culture influence you to the point of joining the dark side.”

“No dark side for me, Mabel. I can promise you that.”

“Good.” Mabel smiles at me. “Now what is your name, sugar?”

“My name is Haley, ma’am. It’s so nice to meet you.” I reach out and shake Mabel’s hand, which is covered in wrinkles and with turquoise rings on every finger.

“It’s a pleasure, Miss Haley. I’ll let you look at the menu, darlin’. Sugar, do you want your usual?” She places her delicate hand on Aidan’s shoulder.

“Yes, Mabel. But you don’t have to put it in right away. I’ll wait for Hales to decide.”

I place the menu down and beam up at Mabel. “Actually Mabel, I’m ready.”

Mabel takes out her notepad and pen from her apron to take down my order.

“I would like a Belgian waffle, two eggs over easy, bacon extra crispy if possible, hash browns, and a coffee please.”

But Mabel doesn’t even click her pen. “No need to write this one down.” I see her smile a little. Why is she smiling? Did I order something weird? “I’ll put that in for you right away. Wow, I think you found a keeper, sugar. Someone who is beautiful and loves food? That’s a rare find here in Los Angeles. Be back soon with your coffee.”

Aidan gathers the menus and puts them at the end of the table near the window. I can tell he is humored by something.

“What?”

He shakes his head slightly, and yet he is still smiling, “Nothing.” He clasps his hands together. “So, Haley.”

“So, Aidan.” This is weird. I’ve never been alone with Aidan in this type of setting before. We usually exchange information through text, emails, calendar updates or on our short walks on set in between shooting a scene. We have never sat down and eaten a meal together. I am freaking out! Why in the world did I agree to do this? My knee starts to bob up and down and there aren’t enough breathing exercises in the world to aid in stopping it.

I must be zoning out because when I glance back at Aidan, his face is concerned.

“Hales. Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out.”

I notice Mabel coming back with our coffees. I plaster on a smile and say, “Yeah, I’m fine. I promise.”

Mabel plunks down two sturdy diner mugs. “Here you go hon. Would you like any cream and sugar?”

Before I have a chance to answer, Aidan pipes in, “Yes, please Mabel, thank you.”

“Sure thing. Be back with your food shortly.”

I clear my throat and finally look up at Aidan’s gentle blue eyes. Somehow, for the split second our eyes meet, I feel calmer. “So, you brought me here to talk about the terms of our agreement.”

“Yes.” Aidan exhales. “Look, I sincerely apologize for throwing you into the catastrophic mess that is my life. But, when Samantha was telling me that I had to go out with those random women, I don’t know–I just felt like I was finally over it. Over acting like an absolute jackass.”

Jackass? This much was true. “Acting like I could have any woman I wanted because I knew that there would be some women waiting for their opportunity to get with me.”

That is also true. I’m sure he has a revolving door spewing out women almost every night.

He continues, “I guess deep down, I wanted to get back at Natasha. I was so hurt. I kind of lost track of myself, to be honest. But you always make me feel calm and safe, and you know me better than anyone. I trust you completely. That’s the only reason I suggested you to fulfill this role, so to speak.”

I know he already said that in the meeting, but it’s kind of nice to hear him say how much he trusts me. I do know pretty much everything there is to know about him, professionally that is. The only personal stuff I know about him, honestly, is from the news alerts and headlines I read on tabloids–which, to his credit, I shouldn’t take much stock in. There is something inside me that wants to give him the benefit of the doubt these last six months, because I have this intuition about people and Aidan honestly seems like one of the good ones. I think that’s what surprised me about his behavior after the breakup. He never seemed like a womanizer or really a drinker for that matter. What he’s saying now makes me feel better–I was right about him.

Mabel returns with the cream, sugar and our food. Thank God, I’m starving. I guess I did run six miles this morning, so my stomach was bound to yell at me at some point. Which probably contributed to me looking like I’m going to pass out. (That and the fact that my boss wants me to fake date him.) When I look across the table, I notice that Aidan has ordered the exact same thing as me. Or rather, I ordered Aidan’s usual order. That’s why Mabel reacted the way she did. Instead of pointing anything out, I unroll the silverware from the napkin and place them beside my plate.

“I want to preface this next statement and say that at any point, you can always back out of this arrangement. And, I want you to know with total certainty, this will not affect anything at all with our working relationship.”

I pour about half the small carafe of cream into my coffee mug. I can feel my eyebrows narrow in on each other. “How can you say that?”

“What do you mean?”

I scoff, “Aidan, you can’t know that it won’t affect our working relationship! Are you kidding me? I mean what will this entail? Because if we have to act like we are dating for real, that means we have to like…do stuff.” I nervously cut my waffle into tiny pieces and drizzle a mountain of syrup over it.

Aidan raises his eyebrows and smirks. “That’s presumptuous of you.”

Horrified, I quickly swallow the bite of waffle I’d jammed into my mouth a second earlier. “Oh my God! No! Not that! Ew…”

Aidan shifts a little in his seat and crosses his arms, still with that stupid, dangerously cute smirk on his face, clearly enjoying this show of absolute embarrassment.

“I mean not ew,” I fumble for words. “I don’t think it would be ew. Not that I’ve thought about it at all.” I slap my forehead, then cover my face with both of my hands. For the love of God, please stop talking, Haley.

I hear a rumble from across the booth. Is he laughing at me?

“Are you seriously laughing at me right now?”

“How can I not, Hales? You need to calm down. And for the record, that is not the ‘stuff’ that we would have to show the world. In fact, I think showing the world us having sex would probably be frowned upon.” Aidan starts cutting his own waffle.

My ears suddenly turn hot and I guarantee they are reflecting how much they are on fire right now. The real embarrassment stems from thinking of me and Aidan having sex–it makes me shiver, and not in a bad way. My whole body warms to the idea, probably because I haven’t been with a man in three years. Sad, I know. Pathetic, maybe. I just haven’t trusted anyone since Robert. I guess Aidan and I have the trust issue thing in common. Although his way of dealing with it has been the complete opposite of my method: absolute celibacy.

I swallow. “Okay, well then we need to lay out some ground rules.”

“Sounds perfect to me. Hey Mabel! Can you come over here real quick?” Aidan waves her over.

“Are we seriously going to ask a 70-year-old woman for advice on what the ground rules should be for fake dating?”

Aidan gasps. “First of all, Mabel is a young 70-year-old woman. Second of all, she thinks we are really dating, remember? So asking her about tips on fake dating will seem suspicious and she would probably tease me from here until eternity. Finally, I need a pen. We are going to write down the ground rules.”

“Okay, old man. On a napkin, really? Why not on Google Docs or Notes or something and we can share it with each other?”

“I prefer the term old-fashioned.”

Mabel comes over. Her silvery hair is up in a disheveled bun and wavy tendrils are sticking out in all directions.

“Can I borrow a pen for a little while, Mabel? I promise I’ll return it.”

“Sure, sugar.” She reaches into her indigo apron, pulls out a pen and hands it to Aidan. “Don’t lose it though. That’s one of my favorite pens, you know.”

“I wouldn’t dare lose it.” Aidan grabs a napkin from the table dispenser.

Mabel’s sweet eyes meet mine. “How’s the food, hon?”

I take a bite of the bacon, which was cooked to extra-crispy perfection. “So good, Mabel. Thank you.”

“Be back a bit to check on you love birds.” She winks at Aidan and he winks back.

Aidan clears his throat, clicks the pen, and smooths out the napkin. “All right, here we go. Let’s start with the basics: holding hands and hugging. I would say definitely, right?”

Even though my hands get clammy at the thought of holding Aidan Stone’s hand in public–or anywhere, for that matter–I answer, “Right, of course. Continue.”

“Okay… um, kissing?”

“No!”

“Hales…”

“Aidan…”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my…” I lower my voice to a whisper. “My boss.”

“Hate to break it to you, Hales, but if you agree to this whole arrangement, I am not going to be your boss throughout the time we’re perceived as ‘together.’ We need to put our working relationship aside for right now and remove those boundaries. Just for a couple weeks. And remember, I’m an actor. Kissing someone without catching feelings is basically second nature to me at this point in my career.” Yeah, easy for him to say. That’s not my career. “It’s my job to make chemistry happen on screen. But the only way to do that is to actually play the part, right?”

The more he talks about it, the more I open up to the idea. He’s right. He does this for a living, and if I think of it from that perspective and pretend that we’re acting in a movie, maybe it won’t be so weird.

I sigh. “Okay, fine. Kissing can be a possibility. But only,” and I point a finger at him, “only when deemed an absolute necessity. Got it?”

“Got it.” Aidan continues to scribble the parameters of our partnership down on the diner napkin. Then I see him write down the letters S-E-X and before I can protest, he crosses it out and writes “ABSOLUTELY NOT” in all capital letters. Oh thank God. That would definitely complicate things, even more than they already are.

“All right, Ms. Swann,” he says in a very professional, no bullshit tone. “Please read over this agreement. If you agree to all the terms laid out, please sign and date at the bottom.”

I study it once more, even though I saw him write down the whole thing.

“Looks acceptable. I agree to these terms.” I take the pen out of Aidan’s hand. Right before I sign my name, I think about the other predicament I put myself in. The whole I have a boyfriend and I am bringing him to my best friend’s wedding. Yeah, that one.

“Wait,” I say. “Since I am doing this for you, would you mind doing something for me? If not, that’s totally fine. I understand if it’s too much exposure for you and you probably think it’s a stupid idea and it won’t even…”

I feel his hand on mine. “Woah, Hales, slow down. Of course I would do anything for you. I would do it anyway, even if you weren’t helping me out in the first place.”

That surprises me a little. Actually, a lot. I would do anything for you. We’ve never been close, and I think what I am about to ask him is going to cross all sorts of boundaries that I never thought that we would cross…ever. Then again, I am agreeing to fake-date this man. I guess the least he could do would be to return the favor. Besides, all of my family and friends are going to see the tabloids and social media posts anyway.

I slide my hand away from his and clasp my hands firmly in front of me. “So, remember a couple months ago, I asked for some time off for Labor Day weekend?”

“Yes. You said that you had some kind of family event?”

“Right. Well, it’s not just some average family event. I mean technically Anna isn’t even family. But she kind of is…sort of…” I am rambling again. My goodness, I’ve never been like this around Aidan before. The only time I could remember being frazzled in his presence was when I first met him. Other than that, I’ve always acted normal. I mean what is normal really? Focus Haley. “Anyway. My best friend from childhood, Anna, is getting married in the Hamptons and I might’ve told my mother and Anna that I have a date to bring to this wedding. Well, more so like I have a boyfriend, who by the way is coming with me to this wedding. So, I figured since we are already going to be all over the internet because we are ‘dating,’ I was hoping you’d be willing to…”

“Yes.”

“I…I didn’t even finish my request.”

“Yes, Haley Swann. I would be honored to be your date to your best friend’s wedding. No, excuse me, boyfriend.”

“Are you sure? Because I know that people will be all over you asking you for your autograph and to take a selfie with them and whatnot. I mean you’re Aidan Stone, big-time movie star.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. And don’t worry about people asking me for autographs or pictures. I’m used to those types of requests, Hales. You know that. For that weekend, I’ll be Aidan Stone, regular ol’ boyfriend to the incomparable Haley Swann.” Aidan raises his mug and takes a drink of his coffee.

Why does he keep saying stuff like that to me? It’s like he is reciting lines from the most romantic movie ever. He’s probably just getting a head start in talking to me without my walls up. And Aidan is hardly any regular ol’ anything. How can the man who was deemed People Magazine’s Most Sexiest Man Alive be so modest?

I fold and unfold my napkin. “I know you are used to it. That doesn’t mean you should have to deal with it.”

“Thank you for saying that.” Aidan grabs a couple sugar packets from the small black container at the end of the table and begins fiddling with them. Almost like he is nervous. “But I am more than willing to take on the attention to help out the best assistant in the world. Besides, you are already helping me out on a much grander scale. This is literally the least I can do for you. If anything, this will make our dating situation seem more legit.”

My cheeks turn hot and knots start to form in my stomach. Suddenly, I am the one who is getting nervous again. And then I ask him the question that has been eating me alive since his insane proposal. “Are you sure this is going to work? I mean, how could anyone believe that a guy like you would ever end up with a girl like me?”

Aidan smirks his signature smirk. The one that makes women and men scream out of pure hysteria and causes them to become weak in the knees. Unfortunately, my body is reacting in the same way, minus the audible scream. I am screaming internally for some reason, inexplicably craving his attention, even though I fully have his attention at this moment. Is that the Aidan Stone effect? He reaches across the table and takes the pen from my hand, the pen that I’ve been involuntarily tapping against the table. I guess my nerves aren’t as hidden as I thought. He pulls the napkin across the table over to him and raises an eyebrow. “Any changes?”

Before he signs, I blurt out, “I think there needs to be an end date. When is this relationship going to expire?”

“Well, I think we should give it until the day we come back from New York. The negative press should be off my ass after a couple of weeks of being madly in love and completely devoted to a new girlfriend. We can even take extra pictures of us doing things together, so we can release them for a few more weeks after our ‘expiration date,’ if that’s what you want to call it.”

I nod in agreement, still trying to process the situation that is my life right now. “So we get through the premiere and the wedding, and then when we get back to L.A., everything goes back to normal.”

I think I notice Aidan’s jaw tighten a smidge before he answers. “Yes. Everything will go back to normal. Our contract will expire effective upon our return to L.A.”

The next thing I know, Aidan is signing our impromptu contract. He’s in. He’s all in. He slides the napkin and pen back over to me. “What do you say, Swann? Do we have a deal?”

Before my mind can convince me that this idea is absolutely insane, my gut takes control. I grasp the pen and sign my name. “Deal.”

Aidan swipes the napkin from me, takes out his wallet and puts it in the main pocket. He winks. “For safekeeping.” In one smooth move, he takes out a credit card. Mabel is on her way to our table and without looking at the bill, he hands Mabel his card.

“Thanks, sugar. I’ll be right back.”

I pull out some cash from my small belt bag, “Wait, Aidan, let me pay for my half.”

“Not in a million years, babe. My mother taught me that a man always pays for his girl’s meal.”

Well, that does it. I guess I’m his girl now.