The Expiration Date

Chapter 23

Call me biased, but Haley is the cutest drunk person I’ve ever been around. It’s refreshing to be around someone who is a happy drunk. I grew up around an angry and violent drunk. After we kissed at the bar, she said that she wanted to go home, and I didn’t hesitate to grant her request. She’s already too far gone for my liking. Not because she’s not her own woman and can’t take care of herself or do whatever she wants to do. But because, even though she is a happy drunk, she isn’t really the Haley that I’ve grown to know. Yeah her inhibitions are temporarily gone, but I think I know Haley well enough to know that she doesn’t like to feel out of control.

I call an Uber as soon as she tells me she wants to go back to the beach house. The whole drive home, she rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes. At some point, she kicks off her shoes, which she claims are killing her feet and she’s going to murder Anna for making her wear them tonight.

“I didn’t want to say no to my best friend. She’s the bride and I just wanted to make her happy. I was going to be a bride once. Did I tell you that? I feel like I’ve told you that.” She nestles her nose into my neck, causing my body to vibrate from the sudden, foreign touch. And I don’t mind it. I graze her bare shoulder and feel goosebumps appear.

“Yes you did, Hales,” I respond.

The brakes of the Uber squeak slightly as we come to a stop in front of the beach house. It’s completely dark except for the porch light that was left on–Haley’s mom must’ve turned it on before she went upstairs for the night.

“Thanks man,” I say to the driver as I pull Haley out of the car with me.

Once I shut the door, I scoop her up into my arms and carry her like she is a real damsel in distress–which to me, she is tonight–and who I have no problem rescuing. I can’t imagine being in such close proximity to Natasha and Isaac for an extended weekend, watching them kiss and be all up on each other. I may have played a superhero in the movies, but Haley is truly the one with superpowers to withstand that type of company.

“Okay, beautiful, I have to put you down for a second so I can open the door.” I carefully place Haley down next to me. But once I do, she starts to sway to one side and I immediately strap an arm around her torso to prevent her from face-planting into the ground. I pull out the key from my pocket, unlock the door, and find a light switch so I don’t trip over something and fall with precious cargo in my hands. I lift Haley into my arms again and she lets out a little squeal.

“Shhh, Hales, we’re going to wake up your mom,” I say, half-laughing.

“Oh my God, it’s like I’m back in high school, trying to sneak back into the house after going out with Anna to a party. Do you think we’ll get grounded if we get caught?”

I let out another laugh and whisper, “We just might, that’s why you have to be quiet.”

“Okay.” She lets out a goofy smile and puts a finger to her lips in a shushing manner.

We make it up to our room and I shut the door quietly. I place Haley on the bed and instead of the overhead light, I find the small black switch of the bedside lamp. Much more forgiving to someone who is intoxicated. Haley throws her shoes toward her suitcase and they plop right into the open compartment.

Then, she does the thing I am dreading the most. And it’s not because I won’t like what I am going to see. It’s because I know that I’ll like it so much that I will never, ever see Haley the same again.

She unzips her little black dress, a dress that is dangerously sexy. So sexy, in fact, that I noticed every straight man in that damn bar had his eyes transfixed on Haley. Even that prick, Robert, had his eyes glued to his ex-fiancée. This whole night has been torture not being able to throw an afghan blanket over this total babe of a woman and tell the rest of the world to back off–she is all mine. No one else should look at her like I am looking at her, even though she deserves every single one of those stares. She deserves to be unmistakingly wanted.

Against my carnal instinct, I rummage through her suitcase to find her matching pajamas as quickly as I can. Even though I’ve seen her in a bathing suit and I already knew that she has a rocking body, this just seems more intimate somehow. I don’t want her to feel disrespected or awkward around me. I want her to feel the opposite. She kicks her dress playfully toward me and I catch it as it hits me square in my chest. I suddenly am very aware that Haley is in fact almost naked again in front of me and for some reason, this time it has much more weight than the other times. I place her dress in her suitcase as Haley clumsily falls onto the bed, groaning as if she is in pain.

I rush over to her. “Hales, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Is the bed on one of those thingies–you know like at a playground and they go around and around?”

Like I said, the cutest. “Um, you mean a merry-go-round? No, Hales the bed is not on a merry-go-round. I think you might have the spins. Let’s go to the bathroom just in case.” I lift her up from the bed so that she is level with my eyes. I brush her tousled hair away from her face. Even in her drunk state, she is still Haley. She has the same kind eyes I have come to know these past three years.

“Aidan don’t be silly, I don’t need…” There it is, that dreadful pause that occurs every time a drunk person realizes that, in fact, they are not as okay as they thought.

“Okay, bathroom. Let’s go babe.”

We barely make it to the toilet before Haley starts throwing up. I grab her hair just in time and hold it up for her and rub her back. I can feel her body convulse each time she lets out all the alcohol she consumed tonight. I was worried this was going to happen, but I also didn’t want to tell Haley what to do. She was finally letting loose and I wanted that for her. I felt comfortable with her doing it tonight because she had me looking after her, and I sure as hell was going to make sure she got home safe and that she was taken care of. And now I don’t care if my night is going to consist of me holding a beautiful woman’s hair back as she expels half her body weight in fluids – I would do it a thousand times over for Hales. I spot a black hair-tie on the counter, grab it, and put Haley’s hair in a ponytail to free up my other hand for anything else she needs.

“I think I’m okay,” Haley says as she flushes the toilet. She grabs some toilet paper from the roll next to her and wipes her mouth. “I need to brush my teeth. Ugh, Aidan, go away.” She unsuccessfully starts pushing me out of the bathroom. I can tell she is putting in all the strength she has left. “My god are you legitimately Iron Man? Or Captain Underpants? Or whatever your character’s name is. How much do you have to work out to get this body?” Now she starts to caress my abs and I tighten up and not because I don’t like it–I definitely do. She is just tickling me and her hands are like ice.

She makes a face. “Ugh, seriously though, get out. You are probably super grossed-out. I seriously can’t talk with you until I brush my teeth.”

“Fine. I’ll be right out here if you need me.”

She shuts the door in my face and I start taking off my own shirt. I throw on another old UConn shirt from college and pull on some sweatpants. I am in for a long night. I need to get comfortable.

“Aidan.” Haley dreadfully calls from the bathroom.

I zip up my suitcase and run over to the bathroom door. “Yeah? Is everything okay? Do you need to throw up again?”

“No…I um, I just need my pajamas. They are in my suitcase, I think.”

I grab them from the bed and gently knock on the door. The door cracks and all I see is Haley’s arm sticking out and her hand open, awaiting the pajamas. I laugh and say, “Hales, you know that I just saw you in your bra and panties, right? That was me in there with you.”

“I know, but now I am very aware of how almost-naked I am and I just got really self-conscious. I mean, have you seen yourself?” Now I am full-on laughing, clasping my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle it so as to not wake Haley’s mom. How could this woman become even sexier through what she thought were insecurities? It will never cease to baffle me.

“Aidan M. Stone. Give. Me. My. Pajamas.”

Contemplating pulling a George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life, and not giving her clothes back, I decide against it and hand her the pajamas. This is a “very interesting situation” indeed. She closes the door again. Even though I can’t see her face, I know that her nose is scrunched-up out of anger and her eyebrows are pulled together. Her brown eyes possibly ablaze with both fury and drunkenness. I know that she is clouded, but I certainly have never been more clear. I know it is an unfair advantage, but I don’t care. Haley is always putting walls up and I feel like I am finally chipping away, slowly but surely, with every conversation, every glance, every touch, every kiss. She isn’t timid around me anymore. The nerdy assistant with the glasses is no more. She has been replaced with this talented, confident woman who intimidates me to no end.

In this moment, it becomes abundantly clear to me that I want to be like George Bailey in an entirely different sentiment–I want to give Haley the moon.

She finally emerges from the bathroom in all her pajama-set glory. She placed her hair in a messy top bun while she was in the bathroom and I can tell she washed the makeup off. Color has returned to her face. She looks like Haley again and that makes me all bubbly inside. She no longer smells like tequila and champagne, but rather mint and the clean scent of her moisturizer. She tentatively takes a step and runs into the bedside table, clearly still very drunk. I get up quickly and grab her arm to steady her.

“Are you also The Flash, too?”

“Your superhero name-dropping game is on point tonight, Hales. Especially the Captain Underpants one,” I chuckle. I lead her to the bed and help her lie down. I pull the comforter over her legs and stop mid-torso.

“I’ve seen the movies. I know what I am talking about. You know all your Avenger buddies, including Captain Underpants. Oooo, Chris Evans. Would you mind introducing me? He is so hot.”

Even though Haley is drunk, I still feel a little deflated and my ego takes a hit. Luckily the odds are ever in my favor. “Um, hate to break it to you Hales, but Chris is now married.”

“Ugh, why is life so unfair??” She puts a pillow over her face, muffling her cry. “I wouldn’t have a chance anyway. I am sure his wife is nauseatingly stunning.”

“Not as stunning as you.”

Something clicks in Haley’s brain because I feel the energy shift between us. Shit, was that too much? I am just telling her the truth. She’s going to kick me out of this bedroom in 2.5 seconds.

“Aidan, can I ask you a question?” She sits up and gets dangerously close to my face. She looks serious.

My stomach drops. She is definitely going to ask me to leave. She is going to ask me to get lost. Good riddance, Aidan Stone.

“What’s that?”

She sheepishly looks down and her voice shakes slightly, “What is your number? You never told me the other night.”

Has she really been thinking of that since the other night? I guess I can’t blame her. I’ve been thinking about the fact that she has only slept with one person in her life. Jealousy courses through my veins as I think about her in bed with Robert. He is the only person in this world who has seen Haley in her most vulnerable state and he fucking ruined it. The only positive is that he is never going to sleep with Haley ever again. I kneel down next to the bed, rest my forearms on the mattress and exhale. “You really want to know?”

She returns my gaze. “Yes…and no. I don’t know.” Haley takes a pillow and covers her face with it. A muffled, “Never mind, just forget it” comes through the blockade.

I snicker and lower the pillow. Haley is biting her lip and her knee is bobbing. She’s nervous. I need to be honest with her. That’s how our relationship has always been. My heart races and there is a pit in my stomach. Now I’m suddenly nervous. I don’t want Haley to judge me or think less of me because more than half of my number is from the past six months. I have always been a monogamist. I need to reassure her that I’m not that guy she is imagining. I am not a rake or a play boy. My hand instinctively lands on her knee, hoping to calm her. “Seven. I had a high school girlfriend, a college girlfriend, Natasha, and then four other flings I guess you can call them.”

Her mouth parts and looks surprised. “Seven? That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Wow. That’s a lot lower than I expected.” A hint of a smile graces her face.

“So…you didn’t sleep with all the women in the pictures then?”

The nervous pit in my stomach turns into full-blown flutters. She has been keeping count. She cares about who I am with. About who I have slept with.

She cares.

I lift her chin up a little so I can look at her in her hazy, tired eyes and say, “No.”

She looks into my eyes and I can tell that she is relieved that I did not turn into the person that the media thought I turned into. The real me never went anywhere. They just didn’t bother to look beneath the surface.

Haley’s chin escapes my grasps as she sits back up. “Aidan, can I ask you another question?”

“Shoot.” I lower my hand and wait for the next question in her drunken interrogation.

“You have my birthday as your security code at your apartment. Why?”

“Because it’s easy for me to remember, but it’s also a detail not a lot of people would know about because it’s not directly related to me… And it’s a reminder of you when I am in New York and you’re back in L.A.” If she’s going to be vulnerable, so can I.

Haley puts her fist under her chin and looks at me, seemingly contemplating what I just revealed. Her brown eyes seem to focus for the first time since we got back tonight, and I can’t stop staring at them. I never want to stop staring at them. “Can I kiss you?”

I am floored by the intimacy of the question. We have been kissing each other for several days now without each other’s permission right beforehand. I’ve never had someone ask to kiss me before. It is refreshing. I quickly realize that I would do just about anything that Haley asked me to do. Even if that means kissing her over and over again.

Especially kissing her over and over again.

I smile. “Of course you can kiss me, Hales.”

Haley slowly closes the gap between us and gives me the softest, most innocent kiss imaginable. It is clear this isn’t out of lust by any means. It is PG-13 at most. I haven’t been kissed like this since my very first kiss. Only this time, I know what I am doing. And so does Haley. That much is true.

Unfortunately, she leans away and her lips depart from mine. I fight back all the urges to bring those lips back to mine and up the rating, because I never take advantage of a woman. Especially a woman who is drunk and not fully herself. No, I am going to reserve those kisses for lucid Haley. I want her to remember those kisses on those sweet, soft, pink lips.

She looks up at me doe-eyed and says, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Always saving me.”

What does she mean?“Hales, you are the last person who needs saving. If anything, you have saved me. How have I saved you?”

“Are you kidding me, Aidan? You’ve saved me from making a mockery of myself at this wedding like everyone was expecting me to. You’ve saved me from my own fears. You’ve saved me from dealing with Robert this entire weekend.” She looks down and grazes my hand with her finger, sending shockwaves through my body. Who knew that such a small gesture could have such an impact? “Most importantly, you are saving me from myself.”

I can tell she’s opening up to me in a way that she hasn’t done before in all the years I’ve known her. But I also know her well enough to know that the moment she exposes her vulnerability, that’s when she’ll put those damn walls back up. Never again with me. I am always going to be armed with dynamite around Haley.

“Well, if that’s how you feel, Hales, then you’re welcome. And I would gladly save you every single day if that meant I could see you happy.” I want to bring her back to my lips so badly. I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that I feel so much more than I ever thought I could. Things are starting to change for me. The terms are not as cut-and-dry anymore. We are well past the point of no return. I want to renegotiate. Immediately.

I need to tell her the truth about how I feel. I don’t think I can wait any longer. I swallow so hard, I know my Adam’s apple clearly bobs up and down. “Hales…”

“Captain America!!” she shouts, hitting my pectoral muscle so hard, I wince slightly.

“What?” I ask, legitimately confused, pressing my hand to my now-stinging chest.

“I said Captain Underpants earlier. I meant Captain America!” She starts laughing at her own mistake and snorts in the process, which makes her laugh even more. I can’t help but laugh too. I didn’t think snorts could be sexy but apparently I am learning that just about anything that has to do with Haley turns out to be mind-bogglingly sexy.

“All right you goof, I think it’s time for bed.” I reach beside Haley and tap the pillow twice. “We have a busy day tomorrow, babe.”

“Ugh, fine.”

I tuck her in, then go into the bathroom and get the small trash can. I place it right next to the bed–just in case. I reach over her head to snag an extra pillow so I can fashion together my makeshift bed. Haley grabs my forearm and says, “Do you want to know a secret?”

“Always.”

“I have a dream date.”

“Is that so?” This is so random, but I’m curious about what is in the recesses of Haley’s brain. I want to get to know every piece of her. Especially her hopes and dreams, since I intend to make them all come true.

“Yes. It is on the beach. At sunset. With my favorite pizza and wine. With blankets and pillows. And the guy has a laptop where we can watch one of my favorite movies. And watch the sun go down. And on my dream date, my date would kiss me, unreservedly, passionately, with no regard for the world around us because we would be each other’s world.”

She is starting to doze off. I finally grab the pillow from behind her. I very much want to be that guy in her dreams. Hopefully she feels the same way.

“That sounds perfect, Hales.” I give her a small kiss on her forehead and place my pillow down on the ground.

“Do you want to hear another secret?” She turns to her side and clutches the pillow as a way to almost anchor herself. “Well, technically it’s two more secrets.”

“Go on.” I could listen to her talk all night.

“I love the way you look at me.”

Maybe I haven’t been so guarded with my own emotions. I don’t want to be guarded with Haley and part of me is glad that she has noticed my genuine reaction to her presence.

“And?” I egg on.

“And what?” She is barely holding on, nestling her head in the pillow. I want her to get rest, but selfishly, I want her to tell me her other secret.

“You said there were two secrets. What was the second?”

“I love that you call me babe. It makes this whole thing seem real.” She finally drifts off to sleep, creating a soothing cadence with her breathing.

It is a bittersweet confession. No actually, I feel dejected in every possible way. It brings me back to the reality of the situation. Our deal. She clearly doesn’t know how I really feel. Even after the kiss we shared at the bar, she still doesn’t believe that this is starting to become real for me. In her defense, we did start this whole relationship based on the pretense that all of this is fake, any romantic notion we display is for the sake of appearances, and we are doing this to fulfill some other agenda.

The thing about plans and deals? They sometimes change.

And that is definitely the case with our deal. I just hope I can convince her that everything has changed–at least for me.