Chapter 30
“Have a safe trip back, Mom.” I close the trunk of the taxi after placing my mom’s suitcase in it.
“Thanks, Haley girl, you too.” My mom encases me in a hug and squeezes me extra tight. I know that she is going to miss me beyond words, because I miss her in equal measure. “When are you both heading back to L.A.?”
“Tomorrow. I actually have to go back inside and finish packing. Dan told us that we can stay an extra night so we don’t have to head back to the city right away.”
“That’s sweet of Dan. Plus, it will be nice for you both to get the privacy you need. This weekend was very eventful and it will be nice to decompress before heading back to reality.”
My stomach drops like it used to when I was a kid on winter break, dreading that my vacation was about to end and I had to go back to school where my only saving grace was Anna and my English class. That inevitable fear of reality is not something I want to face just yet. It’s like Sunday evening and I am ten years old again, wishing tomorrow was Saturday.
The taxi driver looks back at us, clearly getting impatient.
“Well, Mom, you better be on your way. I don’t know where Aidan is. I know he wanted to say goodbye to you.”
“Oh he found me earlier and already said his goodbyes. He had to go run some errands.” My mom’s eyebrows raise like she is up to no good.
“Okay,” I say skeptically. “Mom, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you know something that I don’t. I am very aware of that look because I inherited the same one.”
“No such thing.”
I know she is lying but I don’t want to push further. I just laugh and open the back door to the cab.
When I shut the door, my mom rolls down her window. “You know, I was scared that the fire inside you got completely extinguished after Robert. But now I see that Aidan isn’t going to let it extinguish and more importantly, you aren’t going to let it extinguish. You are stronger than you think you are, my sweet girl. I have this instinct that you are going to break free and your work is going to be seen and made into a movie or show or something. The world deserves to see your greatness.” My mom gives me one more hug through the small window and a kiss on both cheeks. One from me and one from your father, she started saying after Dad died. “I’m going to miss you, Haley girl. But something tells me that you are going to be well taken care of. Your mother can breathe now. Take care of him, too. I can tell he’s one of the good ones.”
My heart skips a beat. That was a glowing review from LeAnn Swann. She doesn’t just give out “one of the good ones” willy-nilly. She never said that with Robert. Come to think of it, neither of my parents did. I give her a wave. “I love you, Mom. You take care, too. And remember if you ever need me to come out, I will.”
“I love you too, my amazing daughter. I promise I will visit you out in L.A. more this year. Talk to you soon?”
“Text me when you land. Bye, Mom.”
The worst thing about travel is packing, especially packing to return back home. I groan when I see the messy state of my open suitcase. Aidan’s suitcase is already packed, zipped and ready to go. That’s another thing about Aidan: he is extremely neat and organized, which honestly always made my job easier. He loves schedules as much as I do. He loves a clean trailer and home as much as I do. Instead of tackling my suitcase, I plop onto the bed and close my eyes. My body fully relaxes for the first time since we drove onto this property. The only thing I can hear are the waves and seagulls outside.
Even though I am in a complete state of relaxation, my stomach aches. I haven’t eaten since brunch this morning. I think it’s also aching because of Aidan’s absence. I wasn’t aware of how much I yearn for him when he isn’t near me. Maybe that is the hunger talking. Where did he go? Maybe he just abandoned me and his suitcase and left for the city. Maybe he realized how boring I really am and he needs someone who gives him a life of adventure. Someone who belongs on his arm on that red carpet. Someone who no one would question. I wince at the thought and sit up, rub my face and open my eyes.
It is then that I see it. A note taped to the vanity mirror on the dresser across from the bed. I slowly get up and walk over to the mirror. It is addressed to me. I carefully pull the note off and open it:
Hales, I think it’s time for us to relax and have a real date night. Meet me on the beach at 7:30.
Take a nap and change into something comfy. See you then, beautiful. –A
I smile and hold the note to my chest like it is my most treasured possession. I yawn, also realizing we really didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night. I pack really fast, leaving an outfit for later to change into after I nap. I set an alarm on my phone so I won’t miss my first real date with Aidan. I definitely wouldn’t miss that for the world.
The cool ocean breeze makes my hair flop about, probably making me look like fricken Bellatrix Lestrange. Sexy, Haley. Aidan won’t know what hit him. I decided to wear some linen shorts, a white tank top and a cardigan. I have to take off my flip-flops once I reach the sand, since they keep getting stuck. I wrap the cardigan around my torso, looking left and right as I walk, trying to find Aidan. I walk a little further left, head around a large rock, and there he is. Standing with his hands in his pockets next to a blanket that has a bottle of wine in an ice bucket, two wine glasses, two pizza boxes and a laptop.
I make my way toward him with an astonished smile spread across my face. When I finally get within a foot of Aidan, I say, “What is all this?” I gesture to the set up. Glancing at the open laptop, I see that You’ve Got Mail is at the ready.
“You’ve Got Mail?”
“Since we didn’t have a chance to finish it at my apartment.”
My eyes survey the scene in front of me. “How did you know that this…?”
“Is your dream date?” Aidan finishes my exact thought.
“Yeah.”
“A little drunk birdie might’ve told me a few nights ago. Figured I’d take a shot.”
“Nice shooting.” Suddenly I’m not so cold anymore. My body is all warm and fuzzy and I so desperately want it to stay that way. I smile and approach Aidan’s little picnic set-up. There are pillows and blankets. And there is something that I probably didn’t mention as a part of my dream date because I didn’t think any guy would plan ahead of time to acquire them.
Flowers. And not just any flowers.
Lavender roses.
I lean down and touch the soft petals. “I haven’t seen lavender roses since before my dad passed. Every date night, my dad would have a bouquet of lavender roses waiting for my mom on the kitchen table. He said that he liked lavender because they represented enchantment and wonder. Everything that my mom reminded him of.” Tears well up. Damn, why does Aidan have to reach deep into my soul and awaken the emotional beast inside of me? Deflecting, I say, “I thought you were a red roses type of guy based on what you left me the other day.”
“Lavender has become one of my favorite colors lately.”
“Oh yeah, since when?” I sit down on the massive blanket on the sand.
“Since I saw you in that lavender dress for the premiere. My heart did a somersault the moment I saw you, Hales and it’s never fully recovered.” He joins me on the ground, never taking his eyes off me. He presses the spacebar on the laptop and pours wine into glasses. He looks effortlessly breathtaking in his khaki cargo shorts and long-sleeved, slate-blue Henley. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing every large vein in his forearms, causing my heart rate to quicken. I’ve never been around such a paradoxical man. Someone who is so masculine yet soft. Brawny yet delicate. This hard exterior definitely protects the teddy bear of a man inside.
My heart does more than somersaults, more like full-on back flips and back handsprings. It’s as if Simone Biles is doing a whole floor routine in there.
“The roses remind me of you.” He hands me a glass of my favorite white wine. We clink glasses and I slowly drink, trying to convince my brain that what my body is feeling is real. I clear my throat and tuck some hair behind my ear, turning beet red. We are definitely in an unfamiliar place now. If someone would have told me a month ago that I would be falling madly in love with my boss, I would’ve laughed like a maniacal hyena in their face.
There have been moments where all of this has felt like a dream. A dream that I am terrified to wake up from. I feel this cosmic shift with me and Aidan, and I know that no matter what happens, things are never going to be the same. How the heck are things supposed to “go back to normal” like we discussed in the diner?
“This is all really sweet of you, Aidan. Thank you.” Before I spontaneously combust from all the excitement racing through my veins, I point to the pizza boxes, “What kind did you get?”
Before he could answer, I open the lid to one of the boxes. Hawaiian. Disgusting. I must’ve put a mental block on the fact that Aidan loves pineapple on his pizza, so much so that he always asked for extra whenever I ordered for him.
Aidan must’ve noticed my slightly scrunched-up nose because he laughs and says, “That one’s not for you. Check the box underneath.” Damn, he knows how to read me like an open book. “I know how much you hate pineapple.”
“It’s not that I hate pineapple. I love pineapple. Just not on my pizza, you weirdo.”
He scoffs. “Did you just call me a weirdo?”
“Yes, I did. I know that you don’t hear that often, Aidan Stone. I know you are used to people constantly telling you how amazing you are, which they aren’t wrong by the way, but yeah you liking pineapple on your pizza makes you a certified weirdo.”
I close the lid to the pizza box and slide it over to Aidan with my tongue sticking out in disgust. I hear Aidan’s deep chuckle, the one that makes shivers run all up and down my body. It is a sound I want to put on repeat on a Spotify playlist.
I open what I assume is my own pizza box, which gloriously has just one topping on it–the ultimate topping, in my opinion–pepperoni. “Now this! This is a pizza.” I grab a slice and take a huge bite. And it isn’t a sexy bite, either. It is a bite that results in cheese and sauce all over my chin. Perfect. I’m sure Aidan doesn’t want to be with someone who eats like a toddler.
But instead of looking disgusted by my obvious lack of grace, his signature smile appears. He grabs a napkin and wipes my chin and the sides of my mouth. Then he did something I wasn’t expecting him to do. He kisses me. And not in, like, an I need you now kind of way, but in a gentle, habitual way.
Which for some reason, I find so much hotter.
“Is it weird that I love you calling me a weirdo?”
“No…it’s not at all weird.” Suddenly I feel myself closing in, becoming the version of myself that I hate. The Haley who starts to overthink everything because her anxiety gets the best of her. Yeah, that one.
“What’s in that beautiful head of yours, Haley Swann?”
“Just thinking.” Yeah, thinking about the inevitable downfall of this entire relationship.
“About?”
“Going back to L.A. Leaving this nirvana that we’ve been in for the past week. I don’t want all this…”
I gesture to the scene around me. The sun has definitely set now and the sky is a beautiful medley of pinks and oranges and purples. I never want to forget this sight. I want to lock it in a safe and throw away the key. And then my heart sinks when I come back to reality. Who knew how long this thing was going to last? I am too scared to let someone in, knowing it will most likely turn out to be temporary. Tears begin to well up.
“...to end. I can see it slipping away when we get back to our regular lives in L.A. When all the pretense is over. When all the questions start bombarding us from all different angles. And not just from the paparazzi. From our co-workers, from the press, from our families. People are going to find holes in our story and then it’s all going to blow up in our faces. Just like it did with Robert. We can’t hop on a plane and escape to the Hamptons all the time. You have to work, hell I have to work. We’ve both worked too hard for everything to crumble down. I mean, isn’t that the reason we made this agreement in the first place? To help your career, and in some sort of twisted way, my own?” My knee starts bobbing and my fingers grab on for dear life to the softest blanket on planet earth that is beneath us. My knuckles are literally turning white. Then I say quietly, in almost a whisper, “I definitely don’t want this all to end.”
“But that’s just it, Hales.” Aidan grabs my hand that is clutching the blanket and kisses my palm. “I don’t want all of this to end either. I told you that the other night and I meant it.” He laces his fingers between mine. “And if people find out the truth about how we started, who cares?” He grabs my outer thigh and pulls me on top of him, so I am now straddling his lap. Now I have no choice but to look straight into his eyes. Poor little writer girl. What torture. “Besides, that’s Samantha’s problem.” He smiles that smile that makes the sides of his eyes wrinkle. My favorite smile.
“Oh god help us with that woman. She seriously scares me.” I cradle Aidan’s face in my hands and now take in the sight right in front of me. Forget the sunset. This man is magic. Aidan runs one of his hands through my hair and grabs the back of my head, securing his hold on me quite literally. If only he knew the hold he has on me already. He turns me into a puddle whenever I’m near him, and I don’t think that is ever going to change.
“Don’t worry about Samantha, her bark is worse than her bite. Plus, she’s damn good at her job. She keeps me accountable and I need that in my career. I never want to make others look bad because of my stupid actions. That’s what I love about you, too. You have never coddled me or treated me differently because of who I am in Hollywood. You have always been so professional and sweet and…just everything to me. I really can’t imagine my world without you in it. You make it harder to breathe when I’m around you, Hales.”
I release a side of his face as I blush and tuck some hair behind my ear. Thank god the sun already set so that my cheeks don’t give me away too much. “Aidan, no one’s ever said those things to me before…not even Robert, and I was with him for years.” How could someone so painstakingly gorgeous utter those words about me? Me– the girl whose hair looks like a psychopathic witch, with red sauce all over her face?
“Well I think it”s safe to say that Robert is a first-class jackass and he doesn’t deserve to walk the ground that you walk on. No one does. Not even me.”
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are bantering about something in the background. I laugh. “Are we ever going to actually watch this movie together?”
Aidan bites his bottom lip. “Actually, beautiful girl, I was hoping that I could kiss those soft lips of yours and make all of those worries bouncing around in your head disappear. The movie was kind of a prop.”
“Aidan! We can’t make out on the beach! There are people around and what if they see?”
“Haley, I don’t care if there’s one person or millions of people who see us–I am going to kiss my girl. Like I’ve said before, let people talk. They are going to anyway. Might as well live our lives on our terms. Plus, you kind of have to get used to me kissing you because I am going to do it every chance I get. I hope you don’t mind.”
In the sassiest voice I can muster, I playfully retort, “Well, what if I…” Then Aidan’s full lips land on mine before I can finish my answer. I could get used to him interrupting me with the best kisses I’ve ever had. I am tempted to protest his every statement just to get his lips on mine. Although, I have a feeling that Aidan doesn’t need any provocation. He is going to kiss me because he genuinely wants to and because he craves my lips on his. I know that because that is my truth and it terrifies me. But I refuse to let my fear ruin this moment on this perfect beach with this perfect man on this perfect date.
I am going to take a page out of Aidan Stone’s guide to fearlessness and allow myself, for the first time in a long time, to be incandescently happy.