4. Finn
FINN
I couldn’t entirely get my mind off my obsession with Lily’s pleasure.
But I did my best the next day.
Jake and I met our friend Adam for a working lunch at a restaurant near our firm. Adam ran his own production company and we handled all his contracts. Adam was a good friend too and the three of us always had a blast together whether while working, working out, or going out.
That would be what I needed most right now.
“The next slate of shows are going to be the definition of bingeworthy,” Adam said, then took of bite of his chicken Caesar salad.
“Then we need to make sure Webflix pays a pretty penny for them,” Jake said.
“How about a pretty dollar?” I suggested as I took a drink of my iced tea on the terrace of the cafe.
Adam wiggled a brow. “I like that. Make it a ten.”
“A franklin,” Jake added, clearly wanting to win this one.
Like the competitive assholes we were, we continued to escalate till we hit ten grand. “Speaking of,” Jake said, a quizzical look on his face. “What’s the most you can bet on blackjack?”
I shot him a curious look. “You planning on becoming a card shark?”
He scratched his jaw. “Maybe I should. I’m excellent with bets.”
Adam laughed. “If there’s one surefire way to lose money in Vegas, it’s at the tables. And consider that free advice. I know that’s hard for you to conceive of, being sharks of attorneys and all.”
I pointed at him, as I narrowed my brow. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but do you want us to be anything but sharks?”
“Fair point,” he said, as he returned to his salad, and we finished reviewing the contract details we planned to lock up for him.
When we were through, I paid the bill, though my mind drifted once more to my favorite place. To Lily. To thoughts of her deepest wishes. To my own desires to give her everything.
I couldn’t get my mind off her.
I wasn’t sure I ever would.
And I didn’t know if that was a good thing.
After I finished reviewing files for a case that afternoon, I hit the gym with Jake.
“Ready to be destroyed in another round of one-on-one?” I asked after we tackled the weights.
Another activity that might distract me from my number one obsession.
Did I need a distraction? Quite possibly or my mind was going to combust from thoughts of getting my woman to tell me her deepest secret.
He rolled his eyes as we hit the courts. “You seem to have a different definition of ‘destroyed.’ You see, destroy is what I do to your sorry ass when it comes to basketball.”
“Bud, that’s cute that you think you’ll win.”
He arched a brow. “Allow me to remind you by taking no prisoners.”
It was all in good fun because Jake did usually kill it at basketball. But I was required by the universal code of men to trash-talk.
It was what we did. What we’d always do, I had no doubt. I’d known him for years, and he was the best kind of guy. I wasn’t going to say he was like a brother, because no one could fill that role. But hell, he was damn close.
He’d been there for me when I didn’t even realize I needed someone, the friend who’d insisted I get my shit together when he saw I was about to snap.
A few years ago, he’d found me in the office at two in the morning yet again, draining another pot of coffee, obsessing over another case.
Hands parked on hips, he’d shaken his head and said, Finn, it’s time to deal with all the shit you’re not facing.
That was all he’d said.
Well, he’d said a few more things as he’d turned off my computer and dragged me out of the office. Like You’re a miserable bastard. It’s understandable, but it’s time to face the music.
I’d gotten my act together, gone to group therapy, and finally worked through the shit from losing my brother.
Yes, there were some tough issues I had to excavate in group. Nothing was easy about digging deep and serving up your insides to a shrink in front of other people. To admitting how you’d become more tightly wound, more angry, more combustible.
That’s the guy I was.
A guy nearly driven mad from loss.
I missed my brother every damn day. Still did. But thanks to Jake making sure I had a place to vent, I was finally able to process, to accept.
And eventually to move beyond the searing pain.
I learned how to come to peace with the loss.
Then I met Lily. I fell so goddamn hard I still had bruises on my ass.
Hypothetically.
Point being, I didn’t fall in love till I had dealt with the grief. And when I fell, I fell all the way into the deep end, no turning back. It was like I was finally able to access my heart again, my emotions, and hell, it was incredible to be able to do so, and even better to give them to her.
To someone who cherished what I had to offer. Who valued and honored it. Who understood who I was, and who I wanted to be.
Was I obsessed with pleasing her?
Yeah, I was.
So sue me.
But this particular fantasy she had? The one she seemed to only tell Google and Tumblr?
I was obsessed with that, too. Because I didn’t want my woman to go unfulfilled. I didn’t want her to feel deprived of a single thing. Besides, my job was to be better than Google and Tumblr. To deliver the real thing to her. To make her happy beyond measure.
But where would I find a willing participant who wasn’t a freak? Who Lily would want?
It wasn’t like I was going to get on Craigslist or post an ad on Tinder. Wait, did Tinder even have ads for seeking a third person?
Those questions raced through my head as we played basketball and I missed shot after shot. When we finished, Jake smacked my shoulder. “Destroyed you.”
Hmm. Seems he did.
“Must be a blue moon,” I joked.
He flipped me the bird. “Admit it—you suck at literally everything.”
“I am awesome at everything. Except, admittedly, today’s game.” I held up a finger. “But in my defense, my mind was elsewhere.”
He mirrored me, holding up a finger in mockery. “There’s no asterisk that says he was distracted when we’re keeping score. Besides, what could be on your mind other than this game? I’m guessing it’s not Adam’s deal?”
“Nah, you’re the man to take point on those.”
“As I do. Delivering at one hundred ten percent.” He took a beat, gave me a thoughtful look. “So what’s going on?”
I shrugged and smiled. “What can I say? My mind was on Lily.”
Jake smirked. “Well, that’s understandable. You’re probably going to go home and screw like bunnies all night. It’s a wonder you make it into work at all.”
I flashed him an evil grin. “You’re right. It is one of the eight wonders of the modern world. And speaking of our record, this weekend I’ll be accepting my award for excellence in stamina and endless pleasure delivery at the Men’s Conference of Gods in Bed.”
“Asshole,” he muttered.
I clapped his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a woman for you soon.”
Jake met his last girlfriend online, and she’d seemed perfect. At first, Debbie had wanted to take it slow. But after three months, she’d demanded he put a ring on it. He wasn’t ready, so he’d asked if they could see where things went. Debbie had declared no, since her clock was ticking.
That was that, and since then he’d been taking a break from the apps.
“In the meantime, just tell me your stories and I’ll live vicariously,” Jake said.
“Pervert. But if I told you—and I won’t—I’d have plenty, because this weekend I plan to spend every waking second pleasuring my woman.”
For that, I earned the double bird.
I laughed. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“Yeah, you better not be sorry. Every man is jealous of you.”
I tilted my head, curious. “What do you mean by that?”
He shot me a look like it was as obvious as tomato sauce on a new dress shirt. “Have you seen your fiancée? She’s beautiful. I don’t know why she fell for your ugly ass. And somehow, she tolerates you, too. You better not be dumb enough to ever let go of her.”
That’s when the heavens parted and the filthy angels clanged their cymbals against my head, calling out, You idiot. The answer is right in front of you.
The answer was under my nose.
If I was going to try to give Lily her fantasy, she wouldn’t want a threesome with a stranger.
She’d want someone she could trust. She was a private woman, and naturally, she’d want a third person who’d keep the secret of her desires.
She trusted Jake. She trusted my friendship with him.
She knew the man would go to the ends of the earth for me.
And Jake? He was a good contender. No strings attached to anyone else.
Clearly, he thought Lily was hot. No surprise there.
Not to mention he was a kinky bastard. Hell, he was an everything bastard. The man once said he was an omnivore when it came to women.
But I’d have to find a way to broach it with Lily first.
So I’d bring up the idea in a setting with the right lubricant.
The toy shop.
We left the house together. “You look beautiful,” I told her, unable to take my eyes off my woman.
She gestured to her tight skirt. “Your favorite kind. Skintight.”
I grinned. “It’s like you know me so well.”
She smiled back as I opened the car door for her. “I do know you well.” She set her palm on my chest, tilting her head, her eyes inquisitive. “And I love knowing you.”
My heart thumped harder, as I wrapped my arm around her waist, bringing her close. “There is nothing I love more than being known by you.”
She leaned into me, sighing contentedly. “Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that I was in that bar that night.”
I laughed. “And I think how lucky I am that that receiver had slippery hands.”
“What would we have done without one of the worst plays ever in football to bring us together?” she teased.
I let go of her waist and shuddered. “Don’t speak of something so terrible. Just be glad for the non-catch catch.”
“Always. But I also like to think I’d have found you still.”
“Baby, you and I were meant to be.”
“We were. We are.”