8. Lily
LILY
I nearly forgot about my conference.
Except, I didn’t really forget, but all I could think about the next day was the room at the Bellagio that Finn had reserved for us, and what would transpire in it that night.
Before I could go there, I had to pop into one of the lobby bars and meet two of the agents on my panel tomorrow, Josh and Haven.
Tomorrow seemed like it existed in another world. Tomorrow I’d have to be professional Lily, onstage in a ballroom, interviewing two top sports agents on the business of negotiations.
Tonight, I had to slip into a different role, and I was flustered thinking about the evening ahead. I was a few minutes late to my meeting, too, because I’d needed new lingerie. Obviously.
One did not simply get pleasured by two men without new lingerie.
I stopped at Ava’s, a decadent lingerie boutique in the hotel.
Soft music played from the store speakers, and the plush carpet seemed to invite me in as I strolled inside. The scent of lavender drifted into my nose, and my eyes devoured the exquisite displays of underthings.
Lace, satin, silk.
Everything called out to me.
I needed something delicious.
Something enticing.
Tonight was the kind of night that lingerie was made for.
“Hi there. Can I help you with something?” a blonde sales associate asked.
Tall with dark glasses, I couldn’t help but wonder what secrets she harbored.
Perhaps, we all tucked our most private fantasies away, putting on our faces for the outside world.
I didn’t need to share mine with a stranger, but tonight, I didn’t need to pretend I was only a straight-laced reporter.
I was a woman with desires.
With fantasies.
And I planned to own them.
“Yes, as a matter of fact you can,” I said, lifting my chin.
“Great. Tell me what you’re looking for,” she said, stepping closer.
I glanced around taking in the bold red lace, the silky blacks, and the fuchsia satins.
I turned back to her. “I need something for a special tryst.”
Her eyebrows rose and she grinned. “Ooh la la.”
“It’s with my fiancé,” I added, since I didn’t want to make it seem like I was having an affair.
“Even better,” she said.
It was my turn to grin. “We’re very much in love and very much in lust.”
“I’m not jealous. Not jealous at all,” she joked.
I smiled. “And I want something that’ll make me feel both wicked and wonderful. Because we have a fantasy we’re acting out,” I said, and holy smokes.
That felt good.
That was felt like freedom.
Like something I hadn’t even known I needed.
But it turned out I had.
I needed to be both sides of myself. To let them exist within me. Even if I didn’t reveal all my thoughts—because there was no need to of course—I didn’t need to feel ashamed of my wants.
I no longer had to war inside myself. To battle in my mind with Lily Whiting, the buttoned-up, sharp, professional reporter. Lily Whiting, the devoted fiancée and soon-to-be wife. And Lily Whiting, the sex kitten.
I was all those women.
And I was me.
And I loved it. I embraced all my sides.
I owned all of them: my brain, my heart, and my body. So I added, “And I can’t wait.”
The woman chuckled conspiratorially. “And I can’t wait for you.” She waved me over to a nearby table. “I have something in mind. I think it’ll be perfect.”
White lace.
“This may be the perfect attire,” she said and it was like she knew me.
As soon as I held it up, I knew too.
This was perfect.
It was innocent, and I was not.
I bought it and thanked her. “You were so much help,” I said as she handed me the bag.
“Thank you, but you seemed like a woman who knew her own mind.”
I smiled. “Yes, but you’ve done more for me than you realize.”
She might not ever realize she’d been the right person at the right time. A stranger. But an open-minded one, it seemed. And a stranger who I could embrace my full identity in front of.
“I hope you have a wonderful time in love and in lust.” She took a beat, lowering her voice. “And you better have a great time tonight.”
“I will,” I said, then I hurried to the bar where I found Josh Summers and Haven Delilah. As I walked in, I could tell they were obviously hot for each other.
I headed to them, picking up their conversation as he held up his hands in surrender. “To moving on.”
Haven offered him a hand to shake. “We will endeavor not to be jerks.”
I seize the conversational opportunity as I reached them, grinning, enjoying every second of tonight.
This was my new mantra. No more doubt. No more self-shaming.
I was going to love all sides of my life, including the chance to have fun with business associates.
“Jerks? Who’s trying not to be jerks?” I asked cheerily.
Josh turned around, saying hello. Haven did the same, leaning in for an air kiss on the cheek, as was her custom.
I waved a hand in front of my face, knowing I needed to apologize for tardiness. “And I promise I won’t be a jerk either. Except I was a big one for being late, and I’m so sorry,” I said, clutching my pink-and-white shopping bag. “I’m just happy you’re still here.”
“Of course. It was only five minutes, so don’t think twice about it,” Haven said. “We were early, so we enjoyed a drink and some good conversation. Right, Josh?” Haven met his gaze.
He raised his glass. “A great conversation. Incredibly revealing.”
“Revealing,” I said, enjoying that word. Then I realized my bag was revealing. And while I was embracing all my sides, I didn’t need these two to see my new bra. “Actually, can you excuse me for just one second? I need to freshen up.”
I spun around, heading for the restroom, stuffing the bag from the shop inside my purse.
A minute later, I returned. Josh had stepped aside, so I chatted with Haven.
“Your ring,” she said, staring at my rock. “It’s stunning and I must admire it.”
I did the hand flip thing, showing it off, feeling proud of my man.
Josh returned as Haven cooed at my ring.
“Be careful, Josh. This ring might blind you,” Haven said.
He pretended to shield his eyes. “It’s stunning.”
“I am one lucky girl,” I said, with a happy sigh. “Especially since my fiancé says he has a special engagement gift for me too,” I offered, trying that on for size too. I didn’t plan to tell them what is was, but I liked saying it. I liked acknowledging a little bit of my other life.
“And what’s that?” Haven asked.
A blush crept over my cheek. “Apparently it’s a secret,” I said, but it was a secret I’d be unwrapping shortly.
“ Ooh la la ,” Haven said, sliding into her French accent. “In France, that can only refer to one thing.”
My eyes widened with curiosity. “What’s that?”
Haven leaned in close to me and whispered, “It means all your dreams are coming true.”
I smiled, my best professional grin. “A girl can hope.” I reached for my notebook, flipped it open and went into business mode. It felt seamless, the transition, and that made me feel whole. “So, this is what I wanted to chat about tomorrow . . .”
When we finished, I thanked them, said I’d see them tomorrow, and headed straight for the elevators.
I was ready. I’d handled my work, and now it was time to engage in the personal.
That was all that lay in front of me tonight.
Finn, Jake, and I had only outlined how our night would start and agreed that the rest would have to happen naturally. I knew what I wanted.
I’d had the montage in my head for some time.
Alone in the suite, I ordered champagne, set some condoms and lube on the nightstand, then stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I savored the warm waterfall as it heated up my body.
I also luxuriated in my own body, my own sensuality, and the hopes that the bounds of my desire would stretch tonight. My hands slid down my curves, over my breasts, caressing my belly.
I leaned my head back under the water, imagining all the ways the night could play out.
I’d watched enough videos. Seen enough clips. Pleasured myself to plenty of Tumblr gifs and videos.
I was a pleasure seeker, a cat, a woman who arched her back and purred voraciously.
I wanted to be petted, to be stroked, to be taken over the cliff again and again.
Did that make me selfish?
Yes.
I felt selfish, but I owned it because I also felt . . . exhilarated.
After I showered, I took my time rubbing lotion into my legs, picturing my men touching me.
Running a brush through my hair, I saw their hands tugging on the strands.
Sliding a pair of white lace panties up my legs, I imagined Finn and Jake removing them. Then a demi-cup bra, stockings, and black heels.
I dried my hair and brushed it till it felt like soft silk. I dusted on some makeup, a little blush, some mascara, and gloss that would be gone in seconds.
Grabbing a short, silky robe, I tugged it on and tied the sash.
Did I look like a madam? A high-end escort? Or just a woman who was sexually adventurous and confident?
I decided on the latter. I was most definitely the latter.
And tonight, I was going to have my men.
Room service brought the champagne bottle and three flutes. I thanked the man and gave a hefty tip.
At nine p.m., I shivered when I heard another knock on the door.
I opened the door and found Finn, looking sexy as hell in slacks, a dress shirt, and a purple tie.
His grin was crooked and knowing, his eyes blazing with desire.
Next to my fiancé was Jake, dressed similarly in pressed pants and a button-down.
His tie was forest green. My mouth watered as my gaze drank in his tall frame, his square jaw, his dark eyes.
My two sexy suits.
In one fell swoop, all the nerves in the world descended on my belly, spread across my shoulders.
What the hell was I about to do?
Was this my life?
Was I truly this woman in a hotel? The one who carried on clandestine trysts behind closed doors with multiple partners?
But I banished the worries when Jake lifted a brow and said, “Room service. We have your special order.”
Humor defused the tension.