Chapter Twenty Three
Naal Westerra’s Greatest Weakness
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The Thilene, Birlissus Ocean.
Kyra.
Rage blinded Kyra’s senses.
She watched, helpless, as the red-headed woman blinked up at the golden male, paralysed with fear. ‘Do not insult me,’ she said in a hushed whisper, shoving at his chest.
The sneering male caught her wrist and yanked it up to his face, swiping his nose along the skin with a deep, lustful inhale. ‘The reek of him is all over you, Captain,’ he snarled, then laughed quite maniacally. ‘You cannot lie to me.’
That laughter wriggled its way under Kyra’s skin and she moved out of the darkness, pulling her sword from its home at her hip, fury fuelled by a lifelong feud-
‘Kyra.’
Wait… that was her name.
This was not her anger. The eyes she saw through were not her own. She did not know the woman trapped, nor the feral lion trapping her. And the hand that was now wrapped around that sword hilt-
A male hand. Wide and long-fingered. A gold signet ring adorning the middle finger.
Not her hand. Yet, one she knew. A present that was not hers.
She was nothing but a bystander, and she knew exactly whose eyes she was peering behind.
‘Kyra.’
Everything faded to nothing as that voice pulled her away to another place.
Her own present.
She awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in the bed. Cold, clammy sweat clung to her skin as her eyes darted around the room, taking in the cool surroundings, relieved to be within the mountain and not stuck in the Fire Warden’s mind.
Her heart was pounding. Where was he? Who was the woman he was so valiantly desperate to save? His anger was so visceral, it had felt like Kyra’s own. Adrenaline still coursed through her blood, the cool touch of the sword’s metal still tingling her hand, as if it had really been there.
Kyra let her head fall into her palms, taking a deep breath in an attempt to dissolve some of the foreign fear still lingering in her body.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when a knock sounded at the door. Quickly yanking the crumpled sheets at her feet over her damp, naked body, she called, ‘Come in.’
Naal’s silver head poked around the door. ‘Sorry to wake you. The sun is dawning. The Thilene will be here by sunrise.’ Her brow furrowed as she took in Kyra’s shaken appearance. ‘Are you alright?’
Kyra forced a smile. ‘Fine,’ she said, then added, ‘I don’t do mornings.’
Naal was undoubtedly a morning person; Kyra had never seen a face so fresh before the sun had even risen. Naal's apologetic answering smile didn’t quite meet her eyes, and Kyra had the distinct feeling she didn’t believe her attempt at nonchalance.
‘Where are we going first?’ Kyra swiftly asked.
‘Loros. We will begin our search in Blythtrie.’
‘You can’t think the Water Warden will be there, though?’
‘No,’ Naal said with a grimace. ‘It will not prove that easy, but we may gain a better understanding of where he might be.’
‘From who?’
‘His parents.’
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Shivering on the bank of Nythanor’s fishing port, Kyra watched the Thilene pull into the harbour through a narrow gap in the Frozen Tides. Seawater sloshed over the ice on either side of the little ship.
‘Ah, the cheerful Captain Damar approaches,’ Kyra said through chattering teeth. ‘You know, despite spending most of the time throwing up, I actually liked sailing on his ship.’
Naal shot her a sideways glance. ‘Was it the Captain that ultimately made it a pleasant journey, or his handsome quartermaster?’
‘Kawai?’ Kyra said, surprised and a little abashed. ‘He was handsome? I didn’t notice anything past the incessant winking.’
‘Mmm,’ was all Naal replied. As the ship pulled through the morning mist settled over the frozen tides, she performed a swift movement with her hands in the air above her head, rendering her great wings invisible.
‘Surely Captain Damar has figured out who you are by now?’ Kyra said incredulously. ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t pick just anyone up from the Frozen Tides.’
‘I’m almost certain he has,’ Naal agreed.
‘But I pay him well for his discretion. With me, Kyra.’ Pulling her hood over her head, she led the way up the gangway of the ship, Kyra following suit.
Despite herself, Kyra found her gaze wandering the deck, searching for the tall Lorishman with the winking problem.
To her surprising disappointment, he was nowhere to be found.
Naal paid Captain Damar a few silvers for their passage to Loros, the captain murmuring his grievances once more at having to ferry them across the world, despite the heavy coins now weighing down his pocket.
As they pulled away from the Frozen Tides, the near-still waters below already crystallising to ice, Kyra took a glance up at the Floating Mountains once more, hoping she would see it again. At her side, Naal was doing the same.
‘Are you worried about leaving them behind?’ Kyra asked tentatively. The Sky Horse had taken them over the devastated city again, and Naal had stared at it until the tall, snow coated trees obscured it from view.
Kyra had the impression that Naal had been forcing herself to look.
‘I would be a fool if I did not worry,’ Naal replied. ‘But I have full faith in Maida and Nysari. I have full faith in all of them.’
Throwing caution to the wind, Kyra said, ‘Even Zuriel?’
Naal stilled ever so slightly. ‘Of course.’
‘She expected to be made Third, didn’t she?’
‘Yes…’ Naal said slowly. ‘And I expected my decision would be met with sour disappointment.’
‘Why didn’t you choose her?’
Whether it bothered her that Kyra was prying, Naal didn’t show it.
She hesitated for a moment, as though deciding how much to reveal, but then she sighed.
‘Zuriel is… brilliant. Her loyalty to the Eternals, to me, has never wavered. But she is young. Far younger than Nysari and far less experienced. She sees her duty as absolute law, but lacks the emotional control necessary to make just, smart decisions. Her heart is true, there is no doubt about it, and she has always been so proud; proud to be my daughter, proud to be an Eternal. Too proud, perhaps, for I fear she craves the power that leadership inevitably brings. But Nysari never wanted to be Third. That is why I chose her over Zuriel. She has the strength of her father before her, and the capacity to shoulder this burden of responsibility without losing herself in the process. I hope one day, when her pride dampens and her wisdom grows with her, that Zuriel will understand that.’
‘She reminds me of my sister,’ Kyra pondered.
‘Dovella always strived to be the perfect child. To uphold the family legacy, to make our parents proud. To make Win proud. I see that same desperation in Zuriel. She craves your stamp of approval just as Dovella craves our grandmother’s.
Dove hated my brother when he left us. I’m sure she hates me just as much now, Earth Warden or not. ’
‘I met Dovella when I came to Vrethian to find you,’ Naal said with a smile. ‘She is much like your grandmother. More so than you, I believe.’
‘Yes, well… Dove always was her starchild.’
‘I find it hard to believe Winvara had a favourite amongst you.’
Kyra said darkly, ‘You can’t know her very well then.’
‘Oh, I know her better than anyone.’
‘How?’ Kyra boldly pushed. ‘What happened between you? I don’t mean to be rude… but she never spoke of you. Not once. She never even mentioned that she knew the Air Warden, let alone had some sort of friendship with you.’
It was a blunt observation, and as the words left her mouth, hurt fluttered over Naal’s features.
Perhaps it had been a step too far.
But the hurt disappeared as quickly as it had come. ‘I suppose I did promise you the truth, didn’t I?’
Kyra merely waited, brows slightly lifted.
Naal released a breath, as though steeling herself for the impending conversation. ‘Winvara is my mate, Kyra.’
Kyra blinked stupidly. ‘Your…’
‘My mate,’ Naal repeated, her silver eyes soft.
‘When the Earthling War was in its infancy, I travelled with Maida and Orro to Vrethian, to learn with my own eyes and ears of the politics behind the growing tension in the earth-capital. Before the revolution, there was an even balance of human and fae on Vrethian’s council.
Your great-grandfather being one of the governors representing his kin.
When civil war inevitably broke out amongst the divided council, it was by his request that I stayed in Avaldale.
‘In the midst of preparing for the onslaught of war, he introduced me to his daughter.
You know her as your grandmother. But I knew her as the fiercest warrior the Vrethan fae have ever seen.
As soon as Winvara and I met, I knew my life would never be the same.
It was not love at first sight. In fact, Win was extremely hesitant of me in the beginning.
We both felt that tug between us, and I think the bond scared her.
I will admit… it scared me too. But as the war dragged on and the years passed, we could no longer fight what we felt for one another.
Finally, we admitted our love, and the bond was solidified.
We were mated, and it was the happiest moment of my life.
‘But it was both a blessing and a curse,’ Naal continued sadly.
‘We were infatuated by one another. And I loved her daughter, your mother Eirinna, like she was my own. I would not see my new family dead before we had already begun, and I decided I would do whatever it took to help them win the war. So, I drafted the entire Eternal Order to Vrethian. It was supposed to turn the tides in favour of the earthlings, supposed to swiftly put an end to the chaos so peace could finally ensue. But the opposite transpired. My Order was targeted. Empress Azar’s foreign army and the earthling humans stopped fighting the fae altogether and focused all their energy on bringing the Eternals down.
For they knew that without us, victory would favour the humans.
‘I had an impossible choice to make. Be the protector I had been trusted by Gallena to be, or stay with my mate and fight for her people. With over half of my Order already shot down from the sky, I chose to leave. To save what was left of us. I chose to be the Air Warden.
Naal looked at her, grief pooling in her eyes.
‘There was a time I would have done anything for her, Kyra.
Anything. She was, and still remains to be, the only being to have ever made me wish I was not the Air Warden.
And in the moment before I made my choice, I selfishly wished I had no obligation to my own people.
I wished I had nothing to do but love her and have her love me too, and that be enough.
But it was a wish that was never to be granted.
And the duty I had to Gallena, to the people of Nythanor, to my Eternal family, could not be ignored any longer.
‘I realised who I was. What I had done. I was the Air Warden and I had led my own people to their doom to fight in a war that was not ours. I do not regret leaving the war. I cannot regret it for it is my past and cannot be changed. But Winvara… she never understood my reasons and blamed me for the fall of the fae, for the bargain she had to make in order to save her people. She blamed me… because I did not stay.’
Kyra felt a sudden and surprising rush of compassion for her grandmother, for the love she had never known she’d had. Yet she could not help the judgement that arose at her grandmother’s stubborn heart. ‘How could she blame you? It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Just as my love for her blinded me to my duty, her love for me blinded her to reason. She believed, and still does, that I betrayed her in retreating. I have never been able to convince her otherwise.’
‘But you still love her?’ Kyra asked, unable to hide the scepticism in her voice.
‘I do.’
‘Why?’ Kyra pushed. ‘She neglected you as much as you did her. How can you still love her?’
‘Because I choose to, Kyra.’ Naal’s expression was no longer withdrawn with memory.
Instead, she exuded tranquillity. As though simply loving Win from afar was enough, however unrequited it might be.
‘I will always choose her because she saw the Naal beneath the Air Warden armour and loved her without question. A thousand more years could pass and I will still love her, I will still choose her. My heart can never belong to anyone else.’
Through all her misgivings about her grandmother, the past ten years of battling disagreements, Kyra regretted that she had not bid her goodbye. Win had had a life, a love, long before Kyra had even been born. She wished she had learned of it through her, and not Naal.
‘Do you think she still loves you?’ Kyra asked, her voice quiet.
Naal’s answering smile could have lit up the night sky. ‘I know she does.’