Chapter Thirty Two
Unbounded Knowing
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The Thilene, Loros.
Kyra.
Kawai tasted like summer, like sea salt, like joy in human form. She never wanted his soft mouth to move from hers, nor his roaming hands to ever break contact from her skin, for when she was pressed against him, nothing else seemed to matter.
He was both sobering her and sending her entire body into a dizzying spin. Alive and buzzing in a way that was wholly new.
The kiss deepened, his lips against hers moving now with sudden urgency. She matched that burning energy, her own hands rising to feel all of him, the softness of his floppy hair, the rough facial stubble, his warm neck, the firmness of his chest, his arms, his-
Low in her body, an unfamiliar wanting began, an ache, a need.
Ah.
That was what it was supposed to feel like. Every experience that came before paled into non-existence. Before, she’d merely moved through the motions of what she’d thought she was supposed to feel.
Now…
She was the motion. Driven by a passion, a desire for the man whose arms she was held in, the man who had inadvertently become quite important to her.
With a steadying breath, she broke away from his lips. His arms remained tight around her, his fingers losing themselves in the fabric of her clothes.
He rested his forehead on hers. Through her eyelashes, she looked up at him. A smile grew on his lovely mouth. She couldn’t help the breathless laugh that escaped her then as giddiness spread through her, tingling every surface of her skin.
And perhaps it was the ale talking on her behalf now, but she knew what she wanted. Knew that standing on the deck, that the one kiss, however wonderful it had been, would not be enough. ‘Come with me,’ she whispered.
He lifted his lips to her forehead, placed a delicate kiss at her brow, then interlinked his fingers through hers.
Letting her lead the way.
She barely noticed if other raiders were watching on, barely cared for that matter, as she led him below deck to his cabin.
Save the thundering of her own heart, it was so quiet. With surprisingly still hands, Kyra lit the gaslamp at the bedside. The low, flickering light spilled across the room.
The door clicked closed.
Alone with just him, that desire heightened as high as the sun itself.
Kawai’s back was pressed against the door. And there was that pause again. Building with anticipation so thick, there was only one way to break it.
She surged for him, and he pulled her to him simultaneously. Their lips met again with utterly unrestrained passion, and Kyra was desperate to taste him, hungry for more, more, more.
Deft hands roamed her body, as though he could not get enough. She searched him too, needing to touch him, needing to feel the muscular ridges of his back, his hips, his manhood-
‘Kyra,’ Kawai breathed, pulling out of the kiss, one of his hands resting at the back of her neck, his thumb caressing the side of her face. ‘Are you… are you sure?’
Taking his hand in hers, she lowered it from her face then stepped back.
She wanted him to see her. Not through hazy eyes in the midst of lust, but fully bare in front of him.
Slowly, and without taking her gaze from his, she began peeling off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor around her feet.
Without interruption, he watched as she stripped herself to nakedness. She loosened her wild hair from its tie and let it fall where it willed.
Completely bare before him, she told him softly, ‘Yes, Kawai. I’m sure.’
His gaze leisurely wandered the curves of her body. A tender smile lit up his face. ‘Gods… do you know how beautiful you are?’
Kyra felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She knew her appearance was pleasing, but no one had actually called her that before. Never in a setting like this.
He moved to her then, but didn’t touch her body just yet. He held her face, tilting her head toward him as he kissed her fully, his mouth moving against hers with such affection, such longing.
Melting into him, into this moment of pure bliss, Kyra couldn’t help but moan against him as her hands fumbled to strip him too, more than ready to feel his bare skin against hers. They moved as one to the bed, and then… it was ecstasy.
Every touch, every movement, every rise and fall of pleasure dripped with that ever-growing desire as it completely dominated every thought, every sense.
They moved as one, his hands gripping her hips, her thighs tensing around him as pressure, beautiful, pounding pressure, began to build between Kyra’s legs, building, building, building, so fucking blindingly euphoric-
Until she crashed into a pulsating, otherworldly release.
‘Fuck, Kawai,’ Kyra gasped, moaned, breathed.
She had never felt so liberated in all her life.
Shaking with the remnants of the rippling tidal wave that stole the breath from her lungs, Kyra gripped at his back as he sat up to wrap his arms around her, holding her tight to him. Holding her right there in that moment, letting the pressure stay a while longer.
‘I really like my name on your lips,’ Kawai murmured.
‘I…’ she breathed, eyes tight shut as she relished in the subsiding tremors. ‘I’ve never…’
He kissed her, arms tightening around her torso. Then they were moving again. Deeper than before, her body riding his in perfect synchronicity, that insatiable need for the other increasing, as if she could get any closer to him than she already was-
But then she fell.
Through a thousand memories she fell, watching as a golden-skinned waterling boy grew to the man he was now, each scene flicking past faster than a blink, until she landed in a once guarded memory as a spectator in time.
Hands reached for Kawai, first pulling the unconscious boy from his shoulder, before hauling him up onto the deck.
Blood covered the front of him, and he could barely stand for the open gash in his left thigh. But he didn’t leave the side of the boy they’d propped up against the side of the ship. His head lolled heavily onto his chest.
‘Were you followed?’ a gruff voice said. Captain Damar.
‘Yes,’ Kawai choked. Pain lanced over his face. ‘But it’s dealt with.’
Damar noticed his wound then. ‘Your leg-’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Kawai hissed. ‘Just get us out of here.’
Shaking his head, Damar said, ‘Mad, I tell ya.’
Kawai didn’t respond as the captain hustled away. He let his head fall back against the side of the ship, his breathing slow and jagged.
The boy next to him stirred. Kawai was instantly alert, watching wide blue eyes blink in new surroundings. ‘Kano…’ Kawai said, a hand gripping the boy’s shoulder. ‘Kano, it’s me. It’s Kawai.’
‘Kawai?’ Kano rasped, then gingerly felt the back of his head. ‘My head…’
‘I’m sorry,’ Kawai said guiltily. ‘It was the only way to shut you up.’
Kano aggressively shook his head, then smacked the heel of his hand hard to his forehead, all whilst murmuring, ‘No, no, no…’
‘Easy!’ Kawai cried, wrapping his fingers around Kano’s wrists to stop him from hurting himself further. But even without the use of his hands, Kano slammed his head repeatedly on the wood behind him. ‘Kano… Kano, stop!’
‘Have to go back,’ Kano moaned desperately, and Kawai struggled to stop the slamming. ‘Have to go back… can’t leave! Have to go back, have to go back…’
Kawai looped his arm around Kano’s neck and pulled him into his chest in an attempt to stop him from writhing. ‘Kano, you’re safe now! He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe, Kano, I promise.’ His voice broke. ‘You’re… you’re safe.’
But Kano either wasn’t listening or couldn’t comprehend his brother’s words. His eyes were wide, so wide with all-encompassing terror. ‘Have to go back,’ he wailed. ‘Please… have to go back, have to go back…’
‘Where to, boy?’ Damar called out.
Kano began to sob. His fingers scratched Kawai’s arm hard enough to draw blood, as he repeated the same words over and over again. Hopelessness covered Kawai’s face, and tears spilled from his eyes as held his brother. Tormented by demons he couldn’t see.
With his grip still tight on a distressed Kano, Kawai said over his shoulder, ‘Head for Nevatis.’
Damar was outraged. ‘You’re mad! The ship’ll be torn to bits by mer outlaws before we even reach the border!’
‘There is no other place for him, Damar!’ Kawai shouted back over the storm’s wrath. ‘If he stays in Loros, the king will find him. But in Nevatis…’ he shook his head. ‘It’s his only hope.’
Slamming a hand on the helm, Damar cursed, ‘Damn you, Astaveron! Corla save us.’ He spun the helm to the right and the ship obeyed, heading for a black horizon of endless ocean.
‘You’re alright,’ Kawai promised his brother, over and over again. ‘You’re out. You’re alright. You’re safe.’
Kano was beyond any capabilities of listening. He convulsed with continuous sobs, and they rang through the salty air, a clashing harmony against the swishing waves below.
Kawai just held him, repeating the affirming words. Silent tears slid down his face as he peered back at Blythtrie with nothing but hate in his eyes.
Kyra hurtled back to her present at a sickening speed.
Kawai’s face was inches from hers. Gone was the admiration, the pleasure, the longing on his face. Now, his expression was cold. Hurt. And…
Furious.
She was still atop him, their naked bodies still locked as one. It felt wrong now, completely and utterly wrong, as though everything that came before had disappeared into an unreachable abyss.
Nausea swept through her, and it was all she could do not to vomit all over him. ‘Kawai, I-’
‘Was that what this was about? Was that all you wanted?’ His voice was low. And quiet.
So very quiet.
All too aware of her nakedness, Kyra pulled herself off him and put a shaking hand to her clammy head. ‘No… no I- I don’t… I don’t know what happened.’
He was painfully still for a moment, just staring down at nothing.
But then he got up and began pulling his clothes back on. Slowly. Deliberately. ‘Well, you got what you wanted.’ His voice was ice cold. He laced his trousers. ‘I’ll leave now, shall I, if you’re done with me?’
‘Kawai…’ Kyra whispered, but just sat watching him with her arms clutched around herself. ‘Please,’ she quietly begged him. ‘I swear I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know I could do that-’
Furious eyes found hers. ‘Don’t lie to me.’
‘I swear to you, I’m not!’ she cried, jumping up as he moved for the door. ‘Kawai, you have to believe me, I couldn’t control it-’
He whirled on her, Not an ounce of affection to be found on his face. ‘You can’t blame everything on being a shit Warden, Kyra.’
Fuck.
He ripped the door open and slammed it behind him, the noise sending a sharp reverberation through her body.
For a moment, she just stared at the wood, unable to comprehend how it had all gone to shit so quickly. A crumpled piece of parchment sat by the door. She thoughtlessly picked it up; it must have fallen from his pocket when he’d undressed.
Unravelling it, she blinked at the scrawled title at the top of the parchment that spelled the words: “For Kyra: Eye of the Fifth references”, then below it, a list of book titles and quotes from each respective one that he had found.
He’d researched the subject for her. Just because she’d mentioned it once.
She balled the note in her hand. The cabin was unbearably empty.
Numbness spread through her.
She didn’t even make it to the bed -his fucking bed- before she was curled over on the floor, tears flowing freely down her face as she shuddered, heart shattering.
And for the first time, she hated, truly hated being the Earth Warden.