Chapter Forty Two #2
‘Just as you did not mean to almost get Kawai killed looking for the Eye in the Four Mother’s tomb?
Just as I’m sure you did not mean to infiltrate my memories to find where I had hidden it?
’ Naal paced, that mask of careful patience completely awry.
‘Did it ever occur to you that I had stolen the Eye from its original resting place for good reason? Are you ever able to think outside the realms of your own selfish need?’
Kyra stood, iron clanging as she did. ‘I was saving my fucking brother, Naal!’
‘At what cost?’ Naal stopped in her pacing. ‘At first, I was relieved that you were not some Zarynthian spy. Why else would you steal such a thing, if not for power or glory? But now I find myself abhorred by your stupidity, which in turn, I now believe to be even worse.’
‘Kill me, then!’ Kyra cried. ‘If I’m that much of a liability, kill me and wait for the next Earth Warden to come forward!
See if you can’t mould them into a more suitable puppet for your war.
I see the way you look at me. Like I’m an infant who can’t learn how to walk.
I see your frustration at my lack of control with my Warden powers. I fucking feel it.’
Naal saw it then, glaring painstakingly back at her. A burnt and shattered reflection of her own failure.
She ought to have been Kyra’s confidant. A teacher, a mentor, perhaps even a mother figure when she had none.
And she’d failed, in every respect.
‘Where is the Eye now?’ Naal asked, forcing her voice to calm.
‘With Lady Lilion Perdy. She was my brother’s slaver and my employer at the Arc,’ Kyra replied stiffly. Then, she added, ‘She won’t do anything with it. It’s a trophy to her, nothing more.’
Naal didn’t miss the guilt that twisted those words. The remorse, even in the throngs of her anger. She nodded slowly. ‘We must pray to the Four Mothers that this is the case. If the Eye were to fall into the wrong hands-’
‘Then, I’m sure you’ll swoop in to save the day again, oh mighty Air Warden.’
Naal stilled. Kyra’s expression, that tone… it was as though Winvara was glaring back at her. ‘I will fetch someone to relieve you from this cell. In the meantime… get some rest.’
She could have granted Kyra’s freedom herself, but a bitter, non-Warden part of her wanted her to suffer a little longer. For the Nythanorian lives she had cost. For Zuriel’s broken body.
Kyra seemed to know that too, for as Naal turned to leave, she said in a venomous voice, ‘Win has gone. The manor house is empty. The Valfell fae are tormenting Avaldale. Perhaps your efforts in controlling everything and everyone around you should have been refocused on protecting your mate.’
The words sunk to the bottom of Naal’s heart, sharp and heavy, but she did not linger. She left swiftly, before she did something she knew she would regret.
???
Gedeon.
There were no tears on the other side of Gedeon’s cell wall now. He’d expected them to come, expected to hear Kyra’s sobs the moment that Naal Westerra departed. But they did not come.
Only silence filled the air, still taut from the remnants of their argument.
The silence was worse than tears somehow. He wanted to say something to her. But what? Would she even care to hear his voice?
He hadn’t seen her yet. Her cell was to the left of his, and she hadn’t needed to pass him to get there. He hadn’t even heard her voice before Naal had come. But… he’d sensed her. That scent of cinnamon and pine was unmistakably her.
How he’d known that, without scenting her before, without even seeing her in the flesh… he couldn’t think on it.
Her voice, harsh and gravelly, filtered through the compacted ice wall. ‘I know you’re there. No point pretending you didn’t hear every damn word.’
Gedeon moved slowly to the front of his cell. ‘No pretence from me. I just figured you were done talking.’
‘I am.’
‘Well, then.’
Silence once more. Gedeon waited, knowing she would be the one to break it again.
‘I’m no better than the likes of you.’
It wasn’t an insult. The harsh tone had disappeared, replaced by something Gedeon knew all too well.
Self-loathing.
‘That’s not true,’ Gedeon said quietly.
‘You heard everything. You heard what I did. I thought I’d feel relieved once my brother was free. It was supposed to be that way. I thought I was doing good. But… there’s blood on my hands. Blood that needn’t have been spilt.’
‘The blood on your hands was unintentional. You cannot blame yourself for collateral damage, not when your actions were done out of loyalty. Out of love.’
She gave a humourless laugh. ‘Collateral damage? That’s how you view it?’
‘Yes,’ Gedeon said without remorse.
‘Is that what your mother taught you?’
‘No. I had to learn that for myself.’
‘So, you created a coping mechanism to deal with your guilt?’
Gedeon had never thought of it like that. It sat uncomfortably. ‘For the greater good… yes.’
‘And how do you view that greater good now?’ Kyra said. Gedeon didn’t miss the sneer. ‘You’re here because you’ve defected from your mother. You’ve switched sides. What even is the greater good to you anymore?’
No answer came readily to his lips, for none made sense to him yet. There was the truth of it, pure as the unspoilt snow on the rooftops of Phaenon City. ‘I haven’t quite figured it out.’
She snorted. ‘At least you’re honest.’
‘No point lying about anything now. Especially as I may very well be dead this time tomorrow.’
That earned another silence. She broke it again.
‘I thought I might be on trial with you. They thought I’d stolen the Eye for your mother. They thought I’d betrayed them.’
‘So I heard.’
‘Does… does she want it?’ There was worry in Kyra’s voice now.
‘She did. A long time ago. I haven’t heard her mention it in years, however.’
‘Only a Warden can get into the Four Mother’s tomb. Did she ever send you to steal it?’
‘Yes.’
A pause. ‘And did you realise, like I did, that Naal had already taken it?’
‘I did.’
‘Did you tell the Empress that?’
Here it was. A truth that Gedeon had withheld for many, many years.
One that had eaten him up inside, one that he had almost divulged to his mother multiple times, but somehow, never could.
‘No,’ he said in a low voice. ‘My mother would never tell me why she wanted the Eye. She was always maddeningly cryptic with her intentions. But I know our world’s history well.
As much as I sympathised with her cause…
I couldn’t be the one responsible for the release of Dohra and the miraqni from their prison.
Impossible as it may seem, it wasn’t worth the risk.
So, I lied.’ Gedeon blinked away the memory of that day.
Returning to the Black Castle, empty handed, and with no information to give his mother on the Eye of the Fifth’s whereabouts.
‘A lot of people died that day. Once she knew the Eye was possibly forever out of her reach, her wrath knew no bounds.’
Kyra muttered, ‘Collateral damage.’
Gedeon could not help his grim smile. ‘I’m glad you’re catching on.’
He heard her move closer to the bars of the cell, the iron of her shackles clanking.
‘I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for what happened in Avaldale,’ she whispered.
‘A friend died in an attempt to keep my identity a secret. A whole ship load of sailors were killed just for their affiliation with me. My brother went free, and I can’t regret that…
but Naal’s right: at what cost?’ She exhaled, and Gedeon could have sworn he scented the saltiness of tears now.
‘It never should have been me. I don’t deserve to be the Earth Warden, Gedeon. ’
That was the first time she’d uttered his name. It made him pause before saying, ‘I have spent my entire life thinking the same thing. Prince or Fire Warden… a constant battle.’
She sniffed. Iron clanked again and Gedeon assumed she’d wiped her nose with a hand. ‘Well, aren’t we a miserable fucking pair?’
Gedeon smiled again. He quite liked her vulgar mouth.
Darkness wreathed from him unexpectedly.
Its shadows swirled around him, but they were content.
At peace. Gedeon’s brow furrowed. ‘Yes, I… suppose we are.’ Quietly, he told her, ‘Do not judge yourself too harshly for what happened. As powerful as we are, even as Wardens, we are still mortal. We are not exempt from mistakes. Try to remember that, above anything.’
They came to release Kyra sometime later.
That grounded, earthy scent wafted up his nose again as she was moved from the cell.
She did not bid him goodbye, but he listened to her footfalls, soft compared to her hulking companion’s, as they dragged further away from him, and he wondered if she would vote to save him when the time of his trial came.
They were two sides of the same coin, after all.