Chapter Fifty Four #2
‘Then Eirinna was killed. I did not know what happened to the girl after that, but the guilt of refusing a child’s needs haunted me.
Three years later, Oslan ran. Another three years passed and Kyraena ran too.
In Eirinna’s memory, I stole into the city for the first time since the war and sought Talbot out.
I paid her to find Kyraena. Then I paid her to protect her from afar.
And she did. For all those years Kyraena fought in those lawless pits, Talbot protected her.
I have no doubt my granddaughter is a fierce fighter, but it was Talbot’s magic that stopped an opposing blade from ever dealing a fatal blow.
Just before Kyraena’s Warden power came forth, sending her into a murderous frenzy, it was Talbot who ensured the mercenaries would not harm her. ’
Win looked at Naal. ‘I even told the girl about the prophecy. I felt I owed it to her to give her the whole truth, for refusing to take her in as a child. Born from my own selfishness, perhaps, for I prayed that even in death, Eirinna would forgive me my mistakes if I did. Talbot, unlike most humans in the city, had faith in the Four. In the Earth Mother. I believe she thought it was her destiny to shield the next Earth Warden from harm.’
Her lips tightened. ‘But she was not supposed to befriend Kyraena. I had no idea just how close they had gotten. Not until Talbot came running to the manor that day to tell me Kyraena had been arrested by the Union. The expression on her face… she was fearful. Anguished beyond words. It was not just the rain that wet her cheeks that day. It told me all I needed to know.’
The lump in Naal’s throat was too big to swallow. ‘Rosary loves Kyra. And Kyra loves her. In each other, they found a sister.’
‘Love,’ Win whispered. She exhaled, and her features darkened. ‘Love is weakness. Empress Azar knows it to be true. She wields it like a weapon. People do stupid things for those they love.’
‘Without love, we are nothing, Win. Nothing,’ Naal said quietly.
‘And yet there cannot be love without the inevitability of pain.’ Mahogany eyes latched onto Naal’s. ‘I cannot look at you without hurting. You are, and have always been, my greatest weakness. And I have spent my life resenting that.’
Beyond the anger, beyond the century of bitterness that had passed them by, Naal saw Winvara for what she was. Not the sour, ageing female she proclaimed to the world to be. But a female who, beneath the icy exterior, was just as frightened as everyone else.
A female who was terrified to give in to love, lest that love be ripped from her, as so much else had.
But Naal was not afraid. If there was one thing in the entire world she was sure of, it was this.
It was her.
Slowly, she moved to Win. On her knees, at her mate’s feet, Naal bared her heart.
‘You are my greatest weakness too, Winvara. But you are also my greatest strength. I have ached for you for so long. And it has been painful. Unbearably so. It still is. But I would rather die tomorrow, knowing you are my mate, than spend another eight hundred years without you. That ache, that pain I have harboured in this time apart was what kept me going. I could never resent it, for it meant I had loved. It meant I had been loved. That is all I could ever need.’
Silver lined Win’s eyes. Those creases softened. ‘Sometimes, I wish… I wish that you were not my mate. Everything might have been easier.’
Gulping down the pain that pierced her at those words, Naal rose higher on her knees. ‘Easier does not mean better.’
Win’s bottom lip wobbled. Naal traced the outline of her face with a slow finger, drinking in all that was her, all she had missed in the years gone by.
It was the first touch since the last.
Win’s breath destabilised. Her eyelids fluttered close, forcing the tears out from behind them. ‘It is too hard. This is too hard, Naal.’
‘Is it?’ Naal asked with a breathy laugh. ‘Because it feels like the easiest thing in the world.’
Those eyes gently opened. Naal pulled away just enough to see the breath of submission in the depths of them. To see pain, and the walls keeping it from spilling out, melting away. Enough, just enough, for Naal to press her lips to Win’s and have her kiss her back.
Even the deepest, most wondrous of dreams could not compete with the desire that sung through Naal in that moment.
She became untethered to the world. Stripped of all titles, naked from who she was. She was unwound yet put back together.
Win’s lips, a soft pad against her own, were her solace. The arms that enfolded her, the hands that held her face, the eyes that lamented, the body that pressed against her own.
Her home absolutely.
Naal longed to lie bare with her. To worship her as she had once done. But even as Win melted further into her, Naal sensed her hesitancy. She knew Winvara. The scars of their relationship ran too deep to be smoothed out by a single kiss.
Minutes later, when Win pulled her lips away, Naal did not stop her.
They held each other, foreheads pressed together, and Naal imprinted every small miracle to her memory.
Win’s honeyed breath on her face. The feel of Win’s fingers sliding through her hair.
The salty scent of a floodgate that had finally been opened.
‘Kyra will return,’ Naal swore to Win. Being home, as she was in her presence, had rekindled the embers of hope. She was resolved to believe in those words now. ‘She has the strength of her grandmother. And the damned resilience to go with it, I might add.’
Win’s lips twitched but did not bloom into a smile. ‘Why was Kyraena in Avaldale?’
Naal told her of Kyra’s bargain with the Lady of Shadows. She told her of her grandson’s enslavement. She told her how Kyra had found the Eye of the Fifth, how she had stolen it right from underneath Naal’s nose.
Though the subject was a heavy one, she relished every second of retelling the tale to Win. It may have been as though the last one hundred and fifty years of estrangement had never happened.
‘Kyraena did all of this… to free her brother?’ Her face was ashen with regret.
‘She did,’ said Naal softly. ‘She is reckless, but none can deny her loyalty to those she loves.’
‘She was right in what she told you. About Avaldale. The fae are tormenting the city.’ Win heaved a heavy sigh.
‘Hostile though I know my father to be, I highly doubt he is behind the terrorism. It is clumsy and reeks of miscreants, rather than a true attack. Still, they were relentless. It frightened Aeliah, the little mouse, half to death.’ She looked down at her hands.
‘It is why we fled. I failed Oslan and Kyraena. I tried to do right by Dovella and Aeliah by leaving. We took our time though. I thought it might be good for the girls to see a bit of the world before coming here.’
Naal gingerly thread her fingers through hers. Their entwined hands sat on Win’s knees. ‘There is courage in admitting defeat, Win. Truly I did not think I would ever see the day you left the manor. You are changed, my love.’
‘I am not so changed to forget, Naal. I came here for my granddaughters’ sake. Not for us.’
‘How much more time must pass us by for the past not to haunt you?’
At that, Win did smile. ‘Perhaps a little longer. I am waiting to see what lengths you will go to appease me.’
The certain playfulness in her voice threw Naal off guard. Low in her body, a long-awaited desire stirred. ‘So, this is to be a game?’ She tutted. ‘You are a whirlwind, Winvara Daeiros. I have no hope of keeping up.’
Win laughed. She laughed. The sound was a blessed miracle. Heat rose in Naal’s eyes for an entirely different reason.
The laughter faded, and a squeeze of her hand had Naal staring into her mate’s eyes. Win said, ‘I spoke wrongly before. My anger became me. I do not blame you for Kyraena’s leaving. I must believe you are right, and that she will return unharmed.’
Naal arched a brow. ‘You agree with me?’ She drew the back of Win’s hand to her lips and murmured against her soft, freckled skin, ‘That is a first. Never have I loved you more.’
Win laughed again, and though the world around them was aflame, Naal could not remember the last time she had felt this light.