15. Bryn
Bryn
I bolted into the captain’s cabin, slamming the door behind me.
This was all my fault. Those sailors had died because of me. Because of the damn necklace. Panic filled me like a maelstrom in a winter storm, battering me with icy thoughts. What had I done? What had I done? What had I done?
My chest tightened, breaths shallowed, and body trembled. It felt like someone was trying to smother me with a pillow and succeeding. Spots appeared at the edge of my vision as the door crashed open and someone spun me around.
Henrik stared down at me as my chest heaved and tears streaked down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. So— So— So—”
“Bryn.” He grasped my shoulders firmly. “Bryn, breathe.”
I sucked in a lungful of air but little entered, my chest suctioning in on itself, my throat closing around what little oxygen was there. A harsh haze blurred my vision as I tried again, but my shoulders merely heaved, leaving me gasping, panicking, spiraling.
Can’t breathe.
Can’t breathe.
Can’t breathe.
“Dammit,” Henrik said and pulled me to the floor.
My knees bumped against the planks as he set me down and positioned me on my rear with my knees bent, nudging my head between them. My eyes fluttered closed as I continued to gasp for air.
“Breathe,” he said again and brushed his broad hand across my back. “Pretend you are blowing out a candle.”
I pursed my lips and tried as he asked. A small sputter of air passed through my mouth, so I tried again.
“What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever stolen?”
What kind of question was that? At a time like this and in his condition. “I… I…” I did his candle breathing again. “An emerald-encrusted pocket watch.”
“Tell me about it.”
“It ticks… Shiny… Sparkly…”
My heart rate started to settle, but he continued rubbing my back in slow and steady circles.
“How did you know what to do?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper thanks to the rawness in my chest and throat.
“Many of my sailors have experienced tough times in their past. We have a lot of trauma on this ship, and, unfortunately, panic attacks like these are not uncommon.”
“Do I even want to know what kind of traumatic experiences?”
He shook his head. “Far worse than attacks by a frost giant.”
My body convulsed.
“And you?”
“What about me?” He brushed his hand through my hair, tucking the strands behind my ear with a gentleness I’d never have thought to associate with him. Especially not after I’d seen him with a sword in hand.
“Have you ever had one?”
“Yes, both traumatic experiences and panic attacks.”
What hellish being or event could have possibly rattled the brutal captain?
Or was there more to the story of his father kicking him and his mother out of the palace all those years ago?
Part of me wanted to pry him open like a lockbox, while the other part wanted to let him be and focus on the adrenaline that was finally slowing in my veins.
He flopped beside me and slumped against the edge of his bed. His skin was a sickly pale shade and the hollows around his eyes seemed more defined than they had been earlier today. It was as if something had sapped all the energy out of him.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
Henrik closed his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
No quips about his virility. No suave smirk. No witty banter. He was definitely not fine.
“What happened?” I turned and tilted his face up to mine. “What’s wrong?”
The blue in his irises seemed faded, like all the energy or magic within them had been used up. How had I not noticed this sooner?
“This is normal when I expend a large amount of power.”
I didn’t recall seeing him use a ton of magic. Then again, I had been more focused on keeping my own blood inside my body and my limbs from being severed. Not to mention the brief time I spent in the sea. “What did I miss?”
He sighed and coughed. “You didn’t miss anything. Thankfully. I was busy the entire time making sure the waves Hrim was kicking up didn’t sink the ship.”
“What!”
“The entire skirmish, the giant was trying to flip the ship and sink us with waves.”
“And you kept them away?” I sat back on my haunches and stared at him anew. How strong was this man?
With a nod, he replied, “Tried to. Used most of my Fjord Fae magic to do so. Crafted a wall of magic beneath the surface, like the one my father has down in Skolvik, to stop him from kicking the ship and then pushed back every time a tidal wave started to form.”
May the ancestors or my own recklessness never cross this man.
“What do you need?” I asked.
His brow furrowed and he placed his hand atop mine, still resting against his cheek. A wave of warmth washed through me at his touch. “Rest,” he replied. “A good day’s rest and to know that my crew, what remains of them, can be healed.”
I swallowed hard and pulled back my hinds, wringing them in my lap. “I’m still sorry about that.”
“About what?”
“Your crew. The attack.” My chest tightened as bloody memories swam through my mind like a wicked maelstrom. “It’s all my fault.”
“That doesn’t matter right now.”
“I killed those sailors. I killed your crew—”
“Hrim killed them. Not you.”
I scoffed but it came out like a choking sound followed by a whimper. “He wouldn’t have left his island had I not stolen the necklace.”
“That may be true, but you can’t be held accountable for his actions.”
Didn’t feel that way. “I’m sorry.”
“Apologizing won’t make a difference now.”
“Then what will?” I stared up into those deep blue eyes, corners creased with concern. “What will, Henrik?”
His eyes fluttered, but he steeled his resolve. “Taking that necklace back.”
My head was already shaking back and forth.
I didn’t like the idea, but… That was what Hrimthursar was after.
There was no doubt about that. My guilt somersaulted and my stomach clenched.
I sat back on my rear and rubbed the balls of my palms against my eyes.
If we took back the necklace, what would I use to get my mother’s locket back?
What else could possibly be of as high value or rarity?
Then again, if I didn’t return the mythical jewel, Hrim would continue hunting me and anyone who got between us. I couldn’t let that happen. Not again. I’d have to return it and figure out another plan to get mother’s locket.
“I should have never stolen that damn necklace,” I said with a huff.
“We all make mistakes, Bryn.”
“Yeah, but my mistakes usually don’t get innocents hurt.”
“Who do they hurt?”
I swallowed hard and averted my eyes.
“Bryn?” He crooked his finger and tilted my chin up until our gazes met. “Tell me.”
The corners of my mouth trembled. “Me.”
He shook his head, and in the next instant I was fully enveloped in his arms and drawn onto his lap. Henrik melted around me and peppered kisses to the side of my head. “You beautiful.” Kiss. “Stubborn.” Kiss. “Brave.” Kiss. “Woman.”
I grabbed onto his torn shirt and settled against his chest.
“No more.”
“What?” I asked.
“No more hurt. No more mistakes. No more taking on the world alone. You have us. You have me.”
My entire body quivered at his words. I let out a big breath, closed my eyes, and nodded. Giving in to this unusual sensation of being cared for.
“Here’s the plan,” Henrik said and brushed his hand across my back in light, soothing motions. “We will return the Heart of Hrim. You will show me and the crew the way. Point it out on my maps. Then, we will return to Grim and get your mother’s locket back.”
“How do you plan on doing the latter? Is that gold in the hold enough to barter with?”
A tiny smirk twisted the corner of his lips. “Oh, you heard about that, did you?”
I cocked my head and brushed my fingertip against the trace of a tattoo that peeked out from the opening in his shirt. “I might have.”
“The gold won’t be necessary.”
“No?” That’s how I’d always operated. Fine objects were my currency.
“No. They’ll return it.”
“How?”
“Because I will tear them apart with my bare hands for you if they don’t.”
“T-they’re quite big,” I mumbled, still in awe of this man and what he was offering me.
“I love hearing a big man scream.”
Shudders ran through me, and he clutched me tighter.
“I’m going to kill them,” Henrik continued. “Or at least string them up and give you the honor. Will you accept my help?”
I blubbered. “I won’t say no to that.”
“Come. Lie down. Get some rest. We have a frost giant to visit.”
Hopefully it didn’t kill us in the process.