Chapter 21 Halvar
Halvar
I strode down the hallway, the offending gift clutched in my hand and Mikkel at my side.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to watch over her while you meet with the king?” he asked.
Grinding to a halt, I spun on the man and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t know what you were doing up here in the first place.”
He raised his hands. “Halvar, the tunnel guards reported a commotion to me and didn’t want to leave their posts. I was just doing my job. Much as you were in checking on the princess during your watch at her door.”
I took a deep breath in through my nose. He was right. It was his job to keep an eye on things. But, fuck it, he’d walked in on me committing a sin that could land me in the dungeons, or worse, dismissed and banned from the mountain.
“What I want you to do,” I said, doing my best to remain calm and not tear out his eyes or tongue, “is fetch four soldiers to guard this hallway. One at each end and two at her door. If anyone sets foot in this tunnel, I want to know. Understood?”
He swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.” With that he was off.
Thank the ancestors. If there was any one of my commanders that I could trust to keep this a secret, it was Mikkel. He’d had my back for years and was as loyal as they came.
I stared back at Freija’s door as Mikkel’s footsteps disappeared down the hall.
My lips tingled from the ghost of her kiss. I should never go near her again… I wouldn’t. I’d do my job without ever letting that happen again.
My magic swirled in my sternum as if it knew the sentiment for what it was: a fucking lie.
I had to be more careful. I couldn’t develop feelings for Freija.
Not any more so than I already had. I couldn’t cause her any hurt.
Because that’s what feelings and emotions and love was: pain.
If not at the beginning, then most certainly at the end.
I’d seen it before and wouldn’t wish that upon her. Never her. She deserved so much more.
My grip tightened around the box in my hand, flesh biting into the wood, and I straightened. I had a job to do. A duty I’d uphold. Rules I would follow, no matter how desperately I wanted to break them. The repercussions were too great, and I couldn’t do that to her.
I’d never cause that woman any harm.
Once the soldiers arrived, I turned away from the sight of her door and strode through the tunnels toward her father, intent on making sure that no harm ever came to her again. From me or any other.
I made it all of two steps before Mikkel appeared again, blocking my path and shaking his head.
“What is it?” I bit out.
He let out a sigh and motioned for me to follow him around the corner and into a quiet alcove.
“Everything all right, commander?”
“I was thinking.”
Potentially dangerous, but I trust the man. “About?”
“Her”—he waved toward Freija’s hallway—“and you.”
“There is no me and her,” I whispered and crossed my arms.
“I know, I know, I know.” He pinched his lips together and shook out his hands. “But here is the thing. There could be. If not with her then perhaps with someone else.”
What in the ancestors’ names is he talking about.
“What I’m trying to say is. I know there are barriers and potential pitfalls between you two being together—”
“Like her father killing me?”
“—but sometimes love and happiness is worth the risk. I told you the stories about my time in the Rigstad mountain protecting one of the Governor’s daughters?
” He continued before I had the chance to nod.
“Well, while I was there I met one of the chefs and we were happy together for some time, even though we knew that our courting could come to an end at any moment if I was stationed elsewhere. And, eventually, I was, but it was worth every moment to spend time with her and feel that happiness and joy that so few people get to experience before they die. After my reassignment we slowly lost touch, but I don’t regret a minute of it. ”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because someone needs to inform your stubborn ah”—he cleared his throat as if he just realized who he was calling stubborn—“that there is happiness right in front of you. Don’t miss it because of whatever fears you might have or risks that might come.
Sometimes it really is worth the potential hardship. ”
Very few individuals had ever spoken so boldly to me, especially about personal matters.
Yet, for whatever reason, my usual reaction to being talked to out of turn—tearing into someone—wasn’t making itself known.
Instead, his words lingered in my mind like wine slowly percolating through a filter.
“And what gives you the idea that we should be together?”
He smiled and straightened his shoulders. “Because, respectfully, you are the happiest you have been in years and I’ve seen you smile around her. You never smile.”
I pursed my lips harder, and he bit his lips and snorted.
“That chef of yours didn’t have a king who could kill you, though.”
He tilted his head from one side and then the other. “Well, no, but the sentiment still stands.”
Taking a deep breath, I let his remarks wash over me.
“Think about it.” He winked. “I’m heading back down to the barracks.”
“Good,” I replied.
Mikkel didn’t bother waiting around. He turned and was gone as swiftly as he had appeared, leaving me alone in the alcove with my thoughts.
Maybe, just maybe, he had a point. It did feel good to be around Freija and there were moments since my assignment began where I had been surprisingly happy.
I did enjoy training with her—she was an astute learner and her hunger for knowledge was something I deeply admired.
Along with that came her care and dedication to the mountain, which was something I too valued.
Then there was the way she made me physically feel.
I’d had kisses before, but the way she’d pressed her lips to mine, the way her body perfectly molded to my own, was like a drug I didn’t want to quit. I needed to go back for more.
And yet.
I could be killed for doing so.
It really was a question of whether I should put duty or desire first in my life?
No.
What was I thinking? I had to put duty first. Always.
I needed to refocus on the goal I’d had since returning to Skolvik: to weed out the culprits behind the threats and prove to the king that I should be permanently re-stationed down here.
The northern outposts and our mission to monitor Veigar, King of the Fire Fae, had been quiet for decades.
It was about time I returned home to the mountain and the fjord.
Even though that would put me closer to Freija, it was still what I wanted.
I nodded to the empty tunnel and took a deep breath. It was time to inform King Erik about tonight’s threat and focus on the princess’s safety… and she should be there for that.
I spun on my heels and barged into her room again. She flinched off the edge of her bed, fingers pressed to her lips, gaze not entirely present.
“Princess Freija, would you please dress.”
“Why?”
“I’m taking you with me to see your father.”
She blanched and swallowed hard. Oh, she thought I was turning myself in for what had just happened.
“We need to discuss your security within the mountain and I don’t want to wait a moment longer.”
She clasped her arms around her. “Very well. Give me a minute.”
I gave her a brief nod and shut the door. If this evening’s actions were any measure, I’d clearly give her near anything she wanted. Fuck, I needed to refocus… even if that might be one of the most difficult things I’d done in my lifetime.
“Come in,” the king said and I pushed open the door to his chambers. He sat by the smoldering fireplace in a tall, wingback chair, a hefty book in hand. “My guards say you have an important matter to discuss.”
“Yes, sir.” I stepped aside and Freija shuffled in.
“Evening, Father.”
“Freija!” He set aside his book, concern etched across his features. “They didn’t mention you were here too. Is everything all right?”
She nodded and turned to me, that marbled gaze filled with an emotion I couldn’t place. With a wave of her hand, she motioned for me to proceed.
I cleared my throat and straightened. “There was another threat toward Princess Freija this evening.”
His eyes went wide.
“Someone sent her this.” I strode across the room and proffered the box with the ear tip.
With careful movements, he opened it, hissed, and shut it with a thunk. Setting it on the small table beside his chair, he turned back to us. “No note?”
“No, sir.”
“And did you open this, Freija?”
“I did,” she replied.
He shook his head and cleared his throat. “First the kidnapper getting inside, now this. It feels like an escalation.”
“It is, sir. One I think we should respond to.”
“What do you suggest?”
What did I suggest? Usually I’d activate all our forces and scour the mountain for the culprit and the person missing part of their ear, but as we were trying not to raise alarm bells within the populace, I had to be more cautious.
The alternative was movement and getting my charge out of harm’s way.
I peered at Freija and found her brushing her hair behind her ears while lightly biting down on her lip.
She’d been asking to leave the mountain on a research mission—one that had strong merits and good reasoning.
What if we left for a while and tried to draw out the person behind the threats?
Or increase the search for them under the guise of her project: a door-to-door, cavern-to-cavern, visit to collect information on who needed what in terms of food and other supplies?
The latter would help her in multiple ways while also trying to locate our perpetrator.
“Halvar?” the King’s voice washed over me as my thoughts continued whirling.
We could go on that venture to the south with a small retinue of soldiers to help me guard her.
Although, as I thought more about it, taking a few guards with us would mean I had less time alone with her.
Less time alone meant I was less likely to do something foolish again, like kiss her.
It would put a distance between us that was necessary—so I could refocus on my goal of getting stationed in Skolvik permanently and doing so without forming any attachments.
I peered over at the stunning woman, and a weight settled in my stomach. The latter was going to be difficult.
“Halvar?”
I shook myself free of my own mind. “Sorry, sir. I propose that myself, a small group of soldiers, and Princess Freija venture south.”
Freija sucked in a breath.
I continued my explanation, including her research but leaving out the part of having others around to stop me from kissing her.
“Are you sure leaving the mountain is wise? This is a veritable fortress.”
“We have snakes within our walls, sir. I think it’s best to remove their target.”
He hummed and glanced at the fireplace, the dying glow lighting up his round face. Meanwhile, Freija hadn’t moved. In fact, was she breathing?
“Let me pitch my proposal to the Council,” I added with a furtive glance at the woman to make sure her chest was, in fact, rising and falling. It was. Barely.
King Erik rose to his feet and clasped his hands behind his back, eyes scrunching. “All right, I will gather them now. Let us see what they have to say.”