Chapter 28 Freija
Freija
I awoke to chattering birds and dappled sunlight spilling through the curtains of Vigdis’s cottage. It was the most peaceful I’d felt in some time, a relief after the never-ending duties that called for my attention with every dawn in the mountain.
After a quick wash using a pitcher and ewer in the water chamber on the right side of the building, I dressed and had breakfast with Vigdis at the table in the main room.
Porridge with fresh berries from the garden paired with a floral cup of tea made for the perfect start to my day.
And it was only made better after we cleared our plates and Vigdis set a stack of leatherbound books on the table between us with a thud.
“Now that we’ve had our morning meal and made sure those men outside are fed, shall we get started?” Her eyes brimmed with light and a flush of pink filled her cheeks.
“Yes, please. I would love to learn more about the plants for my own curiosity, but if you have anything that might be of use to the Fjell Fae, our well-being, and sustenance sources, that would be most appreciated.”
The corners of her eyes crinkled. “Let us focus on that first part, yes?”
“If that’s what you would like to do, I shall defer to your leadership.”
A small surprised noise slipped from her. “I never thought I’d have a crown princess deferring to my leadership.”
“From what I am told, you are the expert here.” I chuckled as she grabbed another pile of books and placed them on the table. “What are those?”
“My journals. I do my best to keep records of all my discoveries.” She grabbed the top book, flipped it open, and nudged it across the table.
Meticulous notes and delicate drawings of a plant with a jagged bloom stared back at me.
On the next page, a set of sketches illustrated the different stages of life for a Foxglove, Digitalis purpurea.
The following page had lists of details and growing conditions, including how much water she’d given the plant during her study of it.
“These are magnificent,” I muttered as I gently flipped to another study. “How many plant species have you documented?”
“Hmm.” She brought her finger to her lips and looked to one side. “It must be close to a thousand at this point.”
My eyes widened. That was an entire life’s work and more. “How marvelous.”
“I’m glad you think so. Feel free to read through any of these. See what you can glean from them that might be useful. Once you’ve had your fill for the morning, we can move outside and you can help me tend the garden.”
“That sounds like a wonderful plan.”
With a bubble of an emotion I couldn’t quite place growing inside my chest, I flipped back to the beginning of the already opened book and started reading.
“So,” Vigdis said later that day after we’d consumed lunch and moved my lessons to the garden, “which plant was your favorite to read about?”
Kneeling in front of a pot of ferns, I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead, careful to keep my soil-covered fingers from touching my hair. I peered to my right and found her pruning a large blackberry bush beside the cottage, short metal blade in hand.
“Definitely the foxglove,” I replied. “How it grows to such heights and in such vibrant pink colors is spectacular.” If you turned the blossom face down, it almost looked like the swishy skirt of a ball gown.
“Yes, just don’t eat that one.”
“I caught that.” There had been extensive warnings about the plant’s poisonous nature to both human, fae, and animals. And while I had no doubt our healers could provide an antidote to a poison like that should it be accidentally consumed, I didn’t want to test that theory and be wrong.
“Oddly enough, humans used to use it in tinctures for heart health,” Vigdis added as she snipped another wilting branch off the bush.
“Really? That could not have ended well for the patients.”
She tipped her head from one side to the other. “Some were more fortunate than others, but like I said, don’t go eating them.”
I nodded. “Beware the pretty ones.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my mind flew to Halvar. He was a gorgeous man—anyone would be a fool not to see that—but there was a ferocious and lethal undercurrent there. Just like these poisonous plants, he could kill you.
My eyes darted in his direction. Him, Vigi, and Finn had offered to help craft some new tools for Vigdis and do some errands around her property.
Halvar was currently sharpening her wood-cutting axe for winter, his focus on the gliding whetstone, while the others replaced a rotting plank on the side of the cottage.
“What are you thinking about, my dear?”
Shaking free of my thoughts, I returned my focus to re-potting the ferns into the wood bucket in front of me. “Nothing.”
A chuckle sounded from Vigdis—a gentle sound that reminded me a bit of my grandmother. It was like a breeze dancing through the trees in an ancient forest. Mystical and ethereal, while also warm and welcoming. “Who is the man?”
I stilled. “There is no man in my life.”
“You may want to inform your face.”
Blanking my features, I slowly turned to her. “Again, there is no man in my life. In fact, I ended a courtship the evening I departed for here.”
She sheathed her blade at her hip and smirked. Unclasping a pouch on the other side of her waist, she retrieved a small square of parchment.
“That’s not exactly what Princess Ragnhild said.
” She cleared her throat and started to read.
“Vigdis, My friend F is on her way for mentorship and aid as we discussed. Please take good care of her and her accompanying guards. Be warned, she may be in her head a lot due to a man and comes with a violent shadow. RT.”
The lump in my throat was near impossible to swallow.
She folded the letter and returned it to her pouch. “Now, I shall ask again: who is the man and why does young Ragnhild describe you as having a violent shadow?”
It was an accurate description.
“Well?” Her eyebrow rose toward her hairline. “Is this shadow the one you thought of when that faraway look crossed your face, or is there another on your mind?”
I let out a sigh. No good would come of lying or keeping secrets from this woman. I was her guest after all and she’d been sent a warning about me. “They are one and the same.”
Her smirk grew into a smile and she came over and sat down on a nearby stone, her thick green skirts billowing around her. “Tell me about him.”
“He has light hair, eyes blue as glaciers, and he prefers grumbling over using words.”
“He sounds handsome,” her eyes flicked to the men’s encampment just out of earshot if we kept our voices low.
“He is,” I admitted for the first time out loud.
There wasn’t a chance I could say such things anywhere near the mountain or in company that could potentially report my thoughts and feelings back to my parents and the Council.
But Vigdis was different. There was something about her that instilled an immediate sense of welcome.
In just one day I’d grown to trust her like a friend.
“And does the grumbling glacier have a name?”
“Halvar.”
She stilled, and her jaw tensed as she looked back at the man with the axe. “Son of Harald?”
My chest spasmed, and I nodded. Hopefully I hadn’t misplaced that trust.
“The Head Guard and General of the Fjell Fae? The one currently sitting over there fixing my tools?”
I brushed a dead frond off my skirt. “Yes, I take it you’ve heard of the man?”
“I dare say most of fae-kind have, my dear.”
Apparently Halvar’s deadly reputation stretched this far south too.
“But why did Ragnhild refer to him as your shadow?”
I wrung my hands and stared into her moss green eyes. “Because he was assigned as my personal guard when threats arrived on our doorstep.”
A flash of something I couldn’t quite place zipped across her gaze and disappeared after two rapid blinks. Would she cast me out? Send me back north?
“Please forgive me for not informing you.”
She raised a hand, silencing me. “You are forgiven. As is Princess Ragnhild. But for this mentorship to work, I would like complete honesty moving forward. Can you grant me that?”
I nodded. “In-so-far as it doesn’t jeopardize the well-being of the Fjell Fae.”
“Understood and accepted.” Her features shifted from concern to a pixie-like glee. “So, you have developed feelings for your bodyguard?”
Rolling my shoulders, I let out a groan. “I’m like a young fae who has barely hit her prime.”
That laugh sounded again, trilling in the sea breeze that crested the nearby cliffside. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“If only you could take that secret out of my own mind. No matter what I do, my thoughts seem to always drift back to him.”
“Ah, that bad, is it?”
I nodded.
“Well, there are worse things in this world than being in love.”
I reared back. “I didn’t say love.”
“You didn’t need to.”
What look had washed across my face to make her peer at me like that? Only a week and a bit away from the mountain and all my shields had fallen. I should do better.
“Now come.” Vigdis rose to her feet and extended a wrinkled hand. “Let me show you a plant that will distract your thoughts from the great Halvar Haraldson.”
I wasn’t sure such a thing existed, but if anyone were to have one, it would likely be Vigdis. Taking her outstretched hand, I pushed up to standing. “Show me the way.”
With Finn accompanying us, we traipsed through the dense woodland behind her cottage, following the burbling sound of water. Luscious ferns peeked out from the base of white-barked trees, and vibrant moss covered the stones along the trail like thick wool blankets.
Vigdis let go of my hand and hiked up her skirts to avoid the detritus reaching out for her hem. “Only a moment longer.”
I picked up my own skirts, and a second later, as she pushed aside a branch, dropped the material in awe.
A magnificent grove stared back at me. Broad-leafed ferns and tiny flowers competed for space with small boulders along the edge of a pond. At the back, illuminated by sunlight filtering through the trees, was a small waterfall where dragonflies and insects danced in the spray.
“Welcome to the most marvelous place I know,” Vigdis said with a sigh.
I set my hand on my chest. There were only two words for this haven: beautiful and wondrous.
Finn let out an impressed noise as he took up a spot by a tree and rested his hands on his sword-belt.
“I’ve never seen such a perfect oasis,” I said.
“I wouldn’t say it’s perfect.”
My brow furrowed.
“Perfection isn’t real, my dear. It’s a myth.”
I repressed a full-bodied bristle. I’d always strived for perfection.
There was no other option. Not with the pressures and responsibilities I faced nor the expectations placed on me.
I had to do things the correct way, the perfect way, or there would be negative repercussions for myself or my people.
“You disagree with me?” she said.
What was my face doing? Had this freedom completely done away with my ability to shield my own thoughts? Or was there something in the air in these woods?
“I…” I took a deep breath and straightened. “I’ve always done my best to do things perfectly. From gardening to policy-making.”
Vigdis crouched beside a small clump of yellow blooms and lightly brushed her fingers over them. “Then it’s little wonder you needed time away.”
“What do you mean?”
“Gardens are never perfect, Freija. Neither are we. It’s impossible. A concept no one can define.”
“How else would you define good work?”
“Ah.” She rose to her feet and set her hands on her hips.
“Good work and perfection are entirely different things. We can toil away at the soil and do what we deem is necessary, but it’s up to the plants themselves and the conditions to decide how they want to grow.
We cannot control every aspect. We can only do the next best thing, not the most perfect thing. ”
I swallowed hard as her words sank in and a slew of emotions flitted between my chest and my mind—tightening both. Perhaps I’d been too hard on myself over the years? Put too much pressure on myself?
She patted my shoulder. “Strive for excellence, not perfection, my dear, and you may free yourself from unnecessary turmoil.”
Wiping at my eye, I nodded. Maybe she was right and I needed to give myself some compassion? Her statements certainly matched what Ragnhild had been telling me for years.
“Come, come.” She motioned for me to follow her. “This way. No more thinking about that.”
That felt near impossible, but I gingerly stepped around the pool of water, careful not to slip on any of the moss or rocks. When I looked up to see Vigdis had stopped, my addled thoughts disappeared and a gasp left me. “The foxglove.”
In a sunny part of the grove, shielded from the harsher coastal elements, was a copse of the tall flowers I’d been reading about. The blooms were more purple than pink, but they did indeed look like ballgown skirts.
I smiled. “These are magnificent, Vigdis.”
“Thought you might like them. Now, shall we take a few back to the cottage for you to study before diving into your research?”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
My heart beat a wild and happy tune. Thoughts of excellence and perfection settled in the back of my mind for later consideration.
This. This was exactly what I needed: a peaceful oasis where my thoughts could organize themselves into neat little rows for me to assess. The first thing that came to mind, though, had my stomach turning. We still didn’t know who was behind the threats and attacks on me.
“What plagues your mind now?” Vigdis asked, drawing me from my reverie.
“Wondering who really is out to harm me.”
“The reason behind the shadow?”
I nodded. “There have been a few threats. Ransoms placed on my head. Even a kidnapper.”
To her credit, the elderly woman didn’t balk at my words or what they could bring to her front door.
“All I can think,” I continued, “is that it must be someone the Fjell has aggrieved. But I don’t know who or how.”
Vigdis carefully inspected the petals closest to her, gently brushing her fingers across the delicate bloom. “Perhaps assessing the soil would be wise.”
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Her gaze met mine. “Sometimes seeds hide for longer than we expect, but they are there, beneath the soil, waiting to germinate and spring into the light. Maybe there isn’t anything you can do right now other than watch the soil and wait for the sprout.”
My inner perfectionist writhed at the thought, but Vigdis did have a point. I needed to be patient. Watchful, but patient. Then, when another attack presented itself, I could strike and find out exactly who was behind these kidnapping attempts.