Chapter 36 Freija
Freija
I spun on the spot and jostled against Halvar. His hand landed on my shoulder, holding me in place.
This… No… I shouldn’t. He was the one who was injured. He should be the one to take the bed. Alone.
Halvar pointed to the bed against the wall and grumbled.
“I see it.” I wiggled out of his hold, careful not to bump into the tiny table and chair set behind me. “Now get in it.”
He shook his head. “You have had a traumatic day and night. You take the bed.”
“And you’re injured.”
Another grumble.
“For ancestor’s sake, soldier, get in the bed.”
“You will not sleep on the floor.”
“And neither will you.”
He stared back at the bed that looked far too small for both of us. “I refuse.”
“Either we both get in that bed or neither of us do,” I countered.
His jaw clenched and he braced his good hand against the top of the door frame, looming. The sleeve of his linen shirt slid down, exposing his forearm. It was as if gods had sculpted him from stone, defining might within one being. Another flush of heat filled my cheeks.
“Both,” he muttered.
My heart thundered, my pulse filling my ears. “What did you just say?”
“We both sleep in that bed.”
“Good,” I said, sounding very much not pleased.
“Excellent,” he replied with equal vigor.
He stepped into the room fully, and the door bumped shut behind him, leaving us both alone in the tight quarters.
If I continued to stare at him like this I was going to explode like the old cannons tucked away on the floors below us.
But my foolish gaze wouldn’t move from the way his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.
“You should change.” He nodded to my now clean but torn shirt and marred trousers.
That was a good idea, but… “All I have is my dress.”
He shrugged like that would do. And it would be better, but where was I supposed to change? I pulled my eyes from him with great effort and peered around the room, hoping a privacy screen might magically materialize in what little space was left between the bed, table, and door.
Unfortunately, nothing appeared.
“These are fine for the night,” I said. “I will change in the morning.”
He grumbled like that wouldn’t do, but I couldn’t be bothered to argue with him anymore. Not with the crackling air between us. Plus, now that he was healed and we’d found a semblance of safety, my body had made note and taken on all the exhaustion I’d kept at bay.
I slunk across the room and settled at the edge of the bed, untying and kicking off my boots. They came free with a gentle thump on the floor, and I wiggled my toes. Blessed freedom.
Huddling beneath the thick, wool blanket, I settled in for the night, and a torrent of thoughts assaulted my mind.
Vigi and Finn.
Saying goodbye to Vigdis.
The conversation by the fire last night.
The attack.
Hopefully Gylli had galloped to safety somewhere.
The bed dipped beside me, and I turned to face Halvar.
A close-up view of the covered expanse of muscle I’d been ogling earlier appeared.
How did anyone have that many muscles? Moreover, how did he give off so much heat?
It was as if I’d gone to sleep beside my fireplace.
If I ran that hot, there wasn’t a chance I’d be going to bed wearing a shirt as he did.
“Good night,” I said.
He grunted—one of his yes, yes, I agree noises.
Staring at the ceiling, I breathed in and out, doing my best to calm my racing pulse and concentrate on anything other than the man lying beside me.
The knotted wood, riddled with holes and striations, was a better item to focus on.
I could count the knots. One, two, three… thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
Halvar shifted, bending his right arm and resting it beneath his head. The movement was innocent enough, but those arm muscles flexed in my peripheral, and my toes curled of their own volition.
Twenty…
Ancestors save me. This man. I clenched the blanket in my fists, stopping myself from reaching out and tracing a finger across his bicep.
The space between us filled with a thick silence that could be carved through with one of Halvar’s precious axes. My heart pounded and beads of sweat pooled between my heaving breasts, trickling slowly down the valley between them—as gentle and light as a feather’s touch. Or a man’s.
No, I couldn’t do this. If I lay here a moment longer, I would do something that would put both of us in a precarious situation and jeopardize his job and life.
With a deep breath, I hauled myself over his body, bumping into his legs and arms as I crawled out of the bed, and backed away.
“Something wrong?” he asked, his voice husky and thick.
I wiped at the back of my neck and stepped toward the door.
“Princess?”
“I just… Air. I need air.”
He pointed to the open window above the bed.
No. There was no way I was going in that direction. If I did, I’d end up touching him or worse, licking those muscles.
“Freija.” He pivoted, sitting upright and setting his feet on the floor with a firm thump. “You need rest.”
“I can sleep in the chair.”
He grumbled and sauntered across the room, slowly backing me against the door. “That won’t be happening. I will hoist you over my shoulder again and put you in the bed myself.”
“There isn’t enough room for both of us.”
“Yes, there is.” He reached out, trailing his finger down my cheek and the side of my neck. “As you said, either both of us sleep in there or neither of us do.”
My body shuddered and my eyelids fluttered. “Halvar.”
He groaned and stepped closer, resting his hands on either side of my head and caging me against the door. “Freija.”
“We… We…” I had no words. There was only him.
“Tell me what you need, Freija.”
Air. Water. To take these damn clothes off. To make this pulsing in my body stop or ignite… Him.
A jagged breath slipped from me, and I gingerly reached out, pressing my hand against his firm chest. “You.”
He shuddered like it was taking every ounce of his control to hold back. “Say that again so I know you mean it. Say it again and I will tear this shirt from your body.”
My entire body flushed with heat. “Oh, goodness…”
“Freija?” A note of hesitation mixed with the sexual tension in his voice.
“Take me, Halvar.”
His hands swept over my shoulders and collarbone before grabbing fistfuls of my shirt. With a firm tug, he ripped it open from neckline to hem, and I let out a surprised gasp.
“It was already a mess,” he mumbled as he gently pulled it off my body.
I nodded, unable to focus on anything but the hungry look in his eyes and the heavenly feel of the material sweeping down my arms and torso.
It slipped across my skin like silk and not the cotton it was actually made of.
The remnants of the shirt were tossed aside, and Halvar cupped my head, tilting my face up to his and bringing our lips together.
It was like spring and summer blooming all at once, like the sun had finally appeared after a long and arduous winter.
I pressed against him, moving my lips with his, relishing every touch and glide.
Passion and heat filled our every move, from the way I grasped his shirt to the way our mouths danced together, desperately needing more.
I pulled back for a moment of air and tugged at the shirt he’d just been given. “Off, please.”
“You do not need to be polite with me,” he rumbled.
“Wouldn’t want you to get ideas and start ordering me around impolitely.”
His hands gripped my hips and he corralled me against the bed. My calves bumped the edge, and I sucked in a breath. Our faces drew close and the warm tickle of his breath brushed across my forehead.
“Well then. Permission to fuck you into oblivion, princess?”
I gasped. This was the precipice we’d been striding toward and peering over for ages.
All I needed to do was lift my lips to his and say yes, and all this would unravel into an uncontrollable passion.
Part of me wanted to give in to that desire, while the other part reminded me of the duty I’d sworn to do—a vow I wanted to break with Halvar.
“We can’t,” I whispered, sounding as conflicted as I felt.
“We shouldn’t,” he replied. “But that doesn’t mean I do not want you. Fuck, Freija, I’ve wanted you since that moment I laid eyes on you at that damn dinner.”
My heart stilled.
“You distract me with your very presence. So much so that I almost lost my arm last night.”
“I’m sor—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. That was not your fault.
” His head dipped. “What I’m trying to say is that however much I shouldn’t want to touch you, to kiss you, to be with you every waking moment of every day, I do.
With everything that I am. But I know what that sort of thing does to people. ”
I furrowed my brow and gently tilted his face to mine. “You think love makes people weak?”
“No, it will cause hurt. It always does. But that’s not what this is about.”
“It isn’t?” Confusion seeped in beside the conflict swirling inside my chest, taking up room next to my magic.
He tugged at the laces of my travel corset while not drawing his gaze from mine.
“Far from it. This is about that ancestors-damned energy between us. It’s about those looks you give me when you think my head is turned.
It’s about my need to get my hands on you right this minute or I will kill every last person on this fucking ship. ”
That energy he spoke of surged once more, drawing heat across my skin and a tickle up my neck. The last of the ribbons came loose and my corset fell over my hips to the floor, freeing my breasts. The bubble containing me burst. “Then touch me,” I said. “Permission granted.”
He blanched like he hadn’t expected me to say those words.
“Touch me, Halvar. Kiss me—”
He was on me in a heartbeat.