Chapter 20
Sabrina did not sleep that night.
Which honestly felt like Lucas's fault.
Entirely.
Because every single time she closed her eyes, she saw him standing too close on that rooftop with jealousy written all over his face like he didn't know how to hide it.
I didn't realize I was until I saw him touching you.
Absolutely criminal behavior.
By Friday afternoon, Sabrina had convinced herself she was being dramatic.
By Friday evening, Lucas ruined that completely.
Her phone buzzed while she stood in line at a coffee shop near her apartment.
Lucas:
Are you busy tonight?
Sabrina stared at the message for a full five seconds.
Dangerous already.
Sabrina:
Depends. Are you planning to emotionally destabilize me again?
The typing bubble appeared instantly.
Then disappeared.
Then came back.
Lucas:
Probably.
Her stomach flipped traitorously.
Lucas:
Come with me somewhere.
No explanation.
No context.
Very Lucas.
Still, an hour later she found herself sitting in the passenger seat of his car while London blurred outside the windows in streaks of gold and rain.
"You know," Sabrina said lightly, "most kidnappers offer less mystery."
Lucas glanced at her briefly, one hand relaxed against the steering wheel.
"You got in willingly."
"Against my better judgment."
"That's usually how this goes."
The corner of her mouth twitched despite herself.
The problem was:
things between them felt different now.
Sharper somehow.
Like the jealousy on the rooftop had cracked something open neither of them fully understood yet.
And judging by how unusually quiet Lucas had been since picking her up, he felt it too.
Twenty minutes later he pulled into an empty overlook outside the city.
No paparazzi.
No flashing cameras.
Just rain tapping softly against the windshield and city lights glowing below them in the distance.
Sabrina looked around slowly.
"You brought me here to murder me privately?"
Lucas huffed out a laugh under his breath.
"Relax."
"I watch documentaries."
"You'd survive five minutes as a detective."
"Rude."
A comfortable silence settled afterward.
The kind they'd somehow become good at.
Lucas leaned back slightly in his seat, exhaustion visible beneath the soft shadows under his eyes.
"You had fun with Ethan."
Not a question.
Sabrina looked over at him carefully.
There it was again.
That jealousy.
"You're still thinking about that?"
His jaw shifted faintly.
"He liked you."
"You say that like it personally offended you."
Lucas gave her a look.
"Yes."
Her heartbeat stumbled embarrassingly hard.
God.
He wasn't even trying to hide it anymore.
Sabrina turned slightly toward him in her seat.
"You know what's confusing?" she asked quietly.
"What?"
"You act jealous, but then you disappear emotionally every time things get real."
The words slipped out before she could stop them.
Lucas went still.
Outside, rain streaked slowly across the windows.
"You think I disappear?" he asked finally.
"I think you panic."
His eyes lifted toward her then.
Sharp.
Too perceptive.
"And what exactly am I panicking about, Sabrina?"
She swallowed.
Because suddenly the air inside the car felt too warm.
"You tell me."
A long silence followed.
Lucas looked away first, rubbing tiredly at his jaw before leaning his head back against the seat.
"You know what the problem is?" he said quietly.
"No."
"I don't know how to do any of this normally anymore."
The honesty in his voice caught her off guard instantly.
Lucas laughed softly then, but there was no humor in it.
"Every relationship I've had turned into headlines eventually." His eyes stayed fixed on the rain outside. "People speculate. PR teams interfere. Suddenly something personal belongs to millions of strangers."
Sabrina's chest tightened slightly.
"And eventually," he continued quietly, "you stop trusting what's real."
That hurt to hear.
Because for the first time since meeting him, Lucas didn't sound famous.
He sounded tired.
Lonely.
Sabrina softened immediately.
"Lucas—"
"I saw him touching you and it made me irrationally angry," he admitted suddenly. "And I hated that."
Her pulse jumped hard.
"Why?"
Finally he looked at her.
Really looked at her.
"Because this was supposed to stay simple."
There it was.
The truth.
Not fake dating.
Not contracts.
Feelings.
Sabrina's breath caught softly.
Neither moved.
The rain outside somehow made the silence feel even smaller.
Closer.
Lucas's gaze dropped briefly toward her mouth again.
This time neither of them looked away.
"Sabrina," he said quietly.
Her heartbeat thundered violently.
"What?"
Something shifted in his expression then.
Restraint finally snapping.
Lucas reached for her carefully like he was giving her time to pull away.
She didn't.
His hand brushed lightly against her jaw before he kissed her.
And God.
It wasn't polished.
It wasn't slow and cinematic like movies promised.
It was hesitant for about half a second before months of tension crashed directly into both of them at once.
Sabrina grabbed the front of his jacket instinctively as he kissed her harder, one hand sliding against her waist like he couldn't quite help himself anymore.
Everything blurred instantly.
The rain.
The city.
The world.
Just Lucas.
Warm hands.
Shaky breathing.
The quiet sound he made when she kissed him back harder.
Her chest ached with how badly she'd wanted this.
Lucas pulled back first.
Barely.
Their foreheads rested together while both of them tried unsuccessfully to breathe normally.
Silence filled the car.
Heavy.
Stunned.
"Oh," Sabrina whispered faintly.
Lucas let out one quiet laugh under his breath that sounded almost wrecked.
"Yeah."
Neither moved.
Then reality crashed directly into the moment.
Lucas blinked once like he'd suddenly remembered who he was.
Or maybe what this meant.
His hand dropped slowly from her waist.
And Sabrina felt the shift immediately.
Not rejection.
Fear.
Lucas looked away first.
"That probably complicated things."
The words hit colder than they should have.
Sabrina leaned back slightly, trying not to show how fast disappointment tangled itself around her chest.
"You think?"
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
Lucas exhaled sharply through his nose before running a hand through his hair.
"This is exactly what I was trying to avoid."
There it was.
Sabrina's stomach dropped instantly.
The vulnerability from seconds earlier suddenly felt dangerous now.
Humiliating almost.
She looked out toward the rain-streaked city lights before speaking quietly.
"You know what's funny?"
Lucas looked at her immediately.
"I can never tell if you want me or if you're scared you do."
His expression tightened.
"Sabrina—"
"No, it's fine." She forced a small smile that didn't quite feel real. "We kissed. The world didn't end."
"It's not that simple."
"Maybe it should be."
The silence afterward hurt.
Because neither of them knew how to fix it.
Finally Lucas started the car quietly.
And somehow the drive back felt completely different from the drive there.
Closer.
Worse.
Real.